


Snowboarding: Prologue

by blunaowl



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Amputation, Angst, Depression, Frohana, Gen, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Ice Bros - Freeform, Injury Recovery, Serious Injuries, Suicide Attempt, snow sisters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-15 16:13:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 96,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3453638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blunaowl/pseuds/blunaowl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happened before Elsa, Anna and Kristoff moved to San Fransokyo?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Accident

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally going to be a single flashback chapter (Chapter 7) of my Tadelsa fic _Snowboarding_. When it became the longest chapter of them all, and showed no signs of coming to an end, I decided to post it separately.
> 
> There's no Tadelsa here - it's all Frohana, Snow Sisters and Ice Bros.

"There should be a red light blinking or something, surely?"  


"Kristoff, it's a cheap digital camera from a catalogue, not professional filming equipment." Elsa raised an eyebrow at him through the lens when the small device was pointed directly at her.  


"Ooh, look, there's a little recording thing there. Okay, okay. I've mastered it." He lowered the camera again and turned it off in the interim. "So... remind me again why you're doing this?"  


"Because they want someone to  _show_  off on a snowboard and Anders would only  _throw_  up."  


"... you're secretly glad he can't do this, aren't you."  


"Nooo, of course not." Elsa grinned innocently at him, "Why would you think that? I mean, it's only a large audience with sponsors and the like.  _Nothing_  to enjoy here."  


Kristoff snorted, shaking his head, "Whatever, Snow Queen."

"Are you going to keep using that kid's comment against me?"

"Forever and ever, and ever, and ever an- heeey!" Kristoff rubbed his arm, the padding of his jacket not doing much to protect him from Elsa's fist. "I'll stop using it when you stop referencing the antler incident."

"Not a chance, reindeer man." She leaned down and picked up her helmet and board, "I'll see you later. Remember to point the camera at the slope, okay?"

Kristoff shouted a "Good luck!" after her, as she retreated to the ski lift to the top of the massive outdoor slope. The slope was over half a mile long, littered with various obstacles for snowboarders to perform tricks on. It had been open to the public for the day, and now the sun had set, the amateurs who had been playing about where giving way to the professionals, forming a cloud of spectators at the end of the slope. Competitors from various countries were at the Canadian slope to take part in the large scale event, which boasted a large gathering of potential sponsors, as well as serving to garner interest in the sport. The slope was not the only activity; there were displays of everything from skiing to skeleton bobsleigh, and various teaching opportunities for all ages littered around the acres of snow covered hills.

Elsa had shown up primarily as part of the Norwegian speed skating team, their collection of gold medals outshining many of the other teams'. However, when the  _entire_  Norwegian snowboarding team had been taken ill with food poisoning, along with a number of other sportsmen and women, she had been convinced - rather easily - to take a spot at the top of the slope. It wasn't the first time she'd been up there, having taken an keen interest in the sport after a dare a couple of years ago, from her younger sister's now-boyfriend, Kristoff. A young Anna had eagerly followed in her older sister's footprints in the snow, both of them dragging their parents to various after school clubs since they were little, and trying to convince them every single year that going to another snow covered country on holiday was a good idea - who needed sun, sea and sand _?_

Anna's first love had been skiing, and at seventeen had started in a coaching position after spending most of her evenings teaching the neighbour's children how to ski, and various other children who just  _happened_  to visit when their friend Anna was taking them up to the mountains for the day. She had spent the showcase coaching children from all over the world, and - as Kristoff had observed - somehow absorbing all their enthusiasm and projecting it back at them ten fold. Wherever she went around the event, at least one child was either following her, or tugging on her sleeve asking advice. The adults were a little more tactful about it, but also appreciative of the young girl's uncanny levels of wisdom. Kristoff had simply stayed by her side and helped her out whenever possible, even if it meant ending up in a pile of snow at the end of a class. Sometimes, when he felt standing around providing a target for children to plough into wasn't what he wanted to do that day, he would offer to help out Elsa.

"... wait, where's the record button again." He fumbled with the camera a bit more, keeping an eye on the display board to see when Elsa's name would pop up. After 'mastering' the camera for the second time, he squeezed his way through the crowd to the front of the observation area, watching people barrel down the slope at ridiculous speeds, cringing when there was the inevitable wipe out, where the snow had been churned up so much during the day it was causing a few problems for the athletes. A few people landed hard, but Kristoff, and the rest of the spectators, had expected nothing less.

He almost dropped the camera when Elsa appeared at the top of the slope, so enthralled in the action he forgot the reason he was there. He fumbled with the device, pulling his glove off with his teeth so he could hit record, and aimed the camera up at the figure in dark blue at the top of the slope. He swung the camera to the display screen to catch it showing Elsa's name and the Norwegian flag, before looking back to the slope and slowly following Elsa's descent.

As with every run, nothing much happened for the first few seconds whilst Elsa crouched low, gathering speed before the first hill. She popped up onto the first obstacle - a rail positioned alongside some stairs - grinding to the bottom and continuing to pick up speed. She had to compensate quite a bit when she landed, as many of the previous competitors had done, the dirty snow sending her off course for a moment before she corrected. She flew over the next jump, grabbing her board with her right hand, pulling it behind her, letting go at the perfect time to land on the snow.

Kristoff frowned; even from the bottom of the slope he noticed her dip her head ever so slightly as if she were looking down at her board. Elsa swerved from left to right slightly, slowing herself down a fraction before the next jump. It was only sheer horror and the resulting inability to move that meant he caught the next thirty seconds on video.

Elsa had landed the medium jump easily enough, her reduced speed limiting the amount of air she got and consequently the size of the trick. As she landed, Kristoff saw her cast another glance down and just as she looked to be pulling up short and giving the final jump a miss, she hit a huge patch of dirty snow and couldn't pull up in time to stop herself going up and over the largest of the three hills. She wasn't able to take off in a straight line, veering far enough off course that when she landed, it was to the side of the hills and in the drifts near the flimsy plastic barrier. The lip of Elsa's board caught in the snow, the back of the board rearing up and sending her flying through the plastic and careening into some nearby pine trees.

Even from where he was stood, he was able to hear the snap of her board and the sound of Elsa connecting with the trees, and it was as if the rest of the world had fallen silent. It was more than enough to pull him from his stupor and he hauled himself over the barrier, shoving the camera in his pocket and running up the steep hill faster than any of the support staff. He pushed aside a couple of men who tried to stop him from reaching his destination, not bothering to waste his breath on an apology.

* * *

"Okay, relax your arms, otherwise you'll be all sore before you've made ten feet!" Anna grinned, holding onto a young boy's hands and slowly skiing in front of him down a small incline. Backwards.

"That's it... that's great! Well done, Andrew, that was brilliant!" The five year old grinned and awkwardly made his way back to the end of the queue of children, all waiting for their first trip down the slope. Anna side stepped her way back up and took the hands of the next child. She was on the way back up for her seventh trip when she heard a crackle over a support staff radio.

"...ical response to main slope. Repeat: urgent medical response to main slope."

She apologised to the class and scooted over to the staff member, pointing at his radio, "What's going on?"

"I think one of the snowboarders had a crash on the main slope. A biggie, too, 'eh."

"...  _which_  snowboarder?"

"Uh... Dave!" The man yelled over to his colleague near another coaching pen, "Hey, Dave! D'you know who it was in the crash?"

"Oh, some Norwegian girl, 'eh."

"There y- ... and you've gone."  


Anna tore away from the class, grateful that this late in the evening, it was simply too cold for many of the casual visitors to the event, and they had left before the sun had set. She tried as best she could to use her skis to her advantage, but on the compacted snow of the footpaths it was simply too much work for too little ground, and she simply abandoned them in the middle of the snow, running in her heavy boots towards the slope upon which she knew her sister - the  _only_  Norwegian competitor - was a participant.  


It seemed to take an eternity for her to reach the boundaries of the slope, and through the throng of spectators she could see what looked like all the medical staff at the event. She quickly glanced up; the blood drained from her face when she saw 'Arendelle' in huge letters on the display screen. She elbowed her way to the access gate to the slope and started running over to the scene, screaming her sister's name. She dodged as many of the support staff as she could, but one man managed to finally bring her to a stop.  


"Anna, no!  _Anna_ !" He held her tightly in her arms, lifting the hysterical girl off the ground and walking away from the choas with her, wincing whenever her heavy ski boots made contact with his barely padded shins. "Anna, you can't go over there!"  


She pounded on his arms with her fists, but he wouldn't release his grip, "Kristoff, let me go! Let go!"  


"Anna, there's nothing you can do, let the doctors help her!"  


She shouted at him again, but her three minutes of panicked sprinting had brought on a massive adrenaline dump and a crash to match. Her attempts at wriggling free slowed and she merely sagged in Kristoff's arms, watching the swarm of doctors and medical staff do who-knows-what to her sister, barely able to hear Kristoff's reassuring murmurs into her hair - her sister was alive, she would be okay, she was getting the best help...  


Anna's knees finally buckled and she sank to the snow, Kristoff slowing her fall. He continued murmuring to try and soothe her as she watched Elsa get loaded onto a stretcher and carefully moved down to the base of the slope, before being taken away in an ambulance Anna hadn't even noticed arrive.  



	2. Day Zero

After that, everything became a blur. She heard Kristoff speaking with various people, though couldn’t hear what they were saying. She vaguely remembered being spoken to by the medical staff - she had no idea if she had spoken  _back_ \- and guided to a 4x4 at the bottom of the slope, before being driven off somewhere. Anna had no concept of how much time had passed since leaving the slope.

Now, she was sat in a room that looked a lot like the living room in a show house; plain off-white walls, decorated with the occasional poster. Leaflets were on display on a table near a small kettle, a selection of tea, instant coffee and fruit squash next to it. A small flat screen TV was tethered to its stand in one corner of the room and a plastic plant sat in another corner. Anna was sat on one of two sofas, holding a mug of lukewarm tea in her hands, staring at the wall in front of her. She tore her gaze away when a hand gentle touched her arm.

” _Anna._ " Kristoff gave her a look of concern; he sounded like he’d been trying to get her attention for a while. "The doctor’s here to speak with us."

She blinked at him and then followed his gaze to a short, brown haired woman in scrubs and a white coat. She wore a kindly, but subdued expression on her face, and Anna thought she looked too young to have finished medical school. The doctor sat down on the coffee table in front of them, and Anna blinked hard to try and focus her attention on her as she started speaking.

Anna clutched onto her mug more tightly the longer the doctor spoke. Apparently, Elsa had been in surgery for almost seven hours – Anna hadn’t even realised a single hour had passed. Elsa’s worst injury was a result of her hitting the tree line; she had smashed into it with such force, that she had shattered her tibia, fibula and ankle to the point that they were all but dust held together with torn muscle and shredded tendons. A large portion of Elsa’s time in the OR had been devoted to trying to reconstruct the limb. The surgeons had done what they can, but given the sheer number and complexity of the fractures, combined with the tissue damage, they seemed to be counting the days before it was considered a lost cause.

Had she not been wearing her helmet - mandatory for competition but discarded by many of Elsa’s peers when off-piste - she most likely would have been killed instantly. Instead, she had suffered a traumatic brain injury, and was in a coma. It was something of a miracle that she’d not suffered a spinal injury, something the doctor contributed to the way Elsa had hit the tree almost side on, if her broken arm and bruised ribs were anything to go by.

"I know it doesn’t sound like it, but given her prior levels of physical fitness, she’s actually in a better position than others might be in her condition. The fact that the accident took place on snow actually helped as well. It kept her blood pressure low and aided in the reduction of swelling to her brain."

Anna opened her mouth as if to speak, but nothing came of it. Kristoff stepped in, “What… what will her recovery be like?”

"Well… a coma can last a day, a week, or even months. Until the sedation wears off and we can properly test her responses, I wouldn’t like to guess as to when she might wake up. We’ll make daily assessments starting tomorrow.”

"I… I want…" Anna swallowed hard, trying to listen her throat, dry from misuse, too drained to show any emotion on her face. "I wanna see her."

"Your sister’s in recovery at the moment. We’ll be moving her to ICU within the next hour or so. Why do you and Kristoff go and get yourselves something to eat, some clean clothes, then you can sit with Elsa. How does that sound?" She directed her question to Kristoff, and he nodded.

"That sounds like a good idea, right, Anna? We can get a sandwich or something, change out of these wet things and then you won’t soak your sister’s bed, hey?" He forced a smile, trying to inject a tiny bit of cheer into the conversation. He was rewarded with a tiny nod after a few seconds. He mouthed his thanks to the doctor, who then told him where he could find food and clothes as they didn’t have any with them, before leaving the pair alone again.

* * *

An hour later, Kristoff had managed to convince an uncharacteristically quiet Anna to eat a sandwich and drink some hot chocolate, and had arranged for Elsa’s team mates to drop off some clothes at the hospital. Fed, changed and completely exhausted, they were led through the ICU by a nurse. Kristoff took Anna by the hand, leading her past the multiple bays, some with curtains pulled back, their patients in full view of the ward, before the nurse led them into a side room. He gave Anna’s hand an involuntary squeeze as he crossed the threshold, and then moved further into the room and allowed her to enter.

Elsa looked unbelievably small in the bed, surrounded by monitoring screens and various pieces of equipment. The woman who had been so full of excitement before what should have been a routine run had been replaced with someone who looked as though she had her foot in Death’s door. She was barely visible underneath swathes of bandages, that were concentrated around her right leg and left arm. Kristoff could make out oddly uniform bumps and rises underneath the bandages on her leg, and was eternally grateful that Anna either didn’t notice or chose to ignore it.

He felt Anna’s hand pull out of his, and watched as she moved closer to the side of the bed, slowly and quietly, as if she didn’t want to wake her sister from an nap. Anna gingerly took a hold of her sister’s hand, mindful of the IV line taped to the back and ran a thumb over her knuckles. She reached up to Elsa’s face with her free hand and rested her fingers against her cheek, trying to ignore the tape holding the ventilator tube in place, and another tube going up her nose. Suddenly, Anna dropped her hand and carefully put Elsa’s back down on the bed. She stalked over to the corner of the room, dragged a chair to the side of the bed and sat herself down, taking her sister’s hand again with a look of steely determination. Kristoff looked to the nurse who had led them into the room.

"Uhm… does your visitation policy allow people to stay overnight?"


	3. Day Two

“Good morning, Elsa. Day two.”

Anna had taken to marking the beginning of each day with a kiss to her sister’s forehead, and telling her how many days had passed. The room Elsa was in had a fairly large window, but the view wasn’t brilliant. What Anna could see of the winter sky was grey, snow covered the ledge outside, and the occasional pigeon would land, preen, then fly away again. Even the artificial light within the room didn’t seem to brighten the day any.

The only activity within the room was that of Anna, Kristoff and the medical staff. Anna hadn’t left the room for the past two days, sleeping on a camp bed that Kristoff had been allowed to bring in for her after she’d refused to spend evenings in a hotel. Instead, at the nurses’ insistence, Kristoff would leave in the evening and return in the morning, bringing anything and everything Anna needed. Anna had tried to find out as much information as possible and had spoken with the numerous nurses, doctors and consultants. When she wasn’t speaking with them, she was speaking to Elsa, relaying anecdotes of her coaching sessions at the international gathering.

Both Anna and Kristoff had received various phone calls from concerned friends, and had had to put Elsa’s mobile on silent because of the sheer number of messages she had received on Day One. Her team mates had wanted to visit, but the staff at the Montreal hospital had refused to allow anyone but family onto the ward - Anna had fought tooth and nail to allow Kristoff to stay - so instead they had sent a video message to Anna’s phone.

It was only on Day Four, when Dr. Jacobs, the woman from the waiting room, entered the room and leaned against the bed with an apologetic look towards Anna, that she became more concerned. Elsa had developed an infection the day after her initial operation and it didn’t appear to be getting any better, despite the numerous antibiotics the nurses were filling her system with.

Dr. Jacobs took a deep breath, and began in a quiet voice, “Anna.”

“… this is about her leg isn’t it.”

The brunette nodded. “We’ve tried multiple treatments, but the infection is only getting worse. Elsa’s immune system is suppressed because of the coma, and if we continue pumping her with medication it may only make things worse in the long run. Combined with the risk of heterotopic ossification, and the levels of pain that she might be in for the foreseeable future…”

“What… what do you need to do?”

“I’ve provisionally scheduled Elsa in for another surgery for tomorrow morning,” Dr. Jacobs stood up and gave the younger girl a squeeze on the shoulder. “Have you heard from your parents yet?”

“They’re uhm… they’ve got a flight in a couple of days. I was gonna call them again in a while.”

“When you do, would you be so kind as to have one of the nurses contact me? I’ll need to speak with them.” Anna frowned, and Dr. Jacob elaborated, “I need to get consent for the operation. If they won’t be here for another couple of days, I can get it over the phone and have them sign the paperwork retrospectively. I’ll need to let them know exactly what will be done… of course, you’re more than welcome to be present when I talk with them; that way you’ll understand what’s going to happen, too.”

“Oh… okay… I’ll uhm… I’ll ask someone to call you.”

The doctor nodded and let go of Anna’s shoulder, before heading back out of the room.

* * *

“… Mama?”

_“Hallo, elskling… h_ _vordan går det_ _?”_

“Jeg uhm… jeg er fin. Lytt, uh… Dr. Jacobs må lære seg å snakke med deg. Elsa trenger en annen operasjon, og hun trenger din tillatelse.”

_“Ok, elskling, hold på…”_

_“… hallo, solskinn.”_

“Hei Papa.”

_“Vi er begge lytting, elskling._ _”_

“Ok, hold på.”

Anna put the phone down on the bedside table and put her parents on loudspeaker. After confirming they could still hear her, she gave Dr. Jacobs a small nod and, biting her lip, took Kristoff’s hand and sat quietly whilst the doctor spoke.

“Mr Arendelle, Mrs. Arendelle, my name is Dr. Claudia Jacobs, I’m one of the staff overseeing Elsa’s care in ICU. We spoke briefly a few days ago, when she was first admitted?”

_“Good evening, Doctor. Anna said you needed our permission for something? You didn’t need to ask before…”_

“The operation she had before was a life-saving procedure, therefore we didn’t need consent. Time was of the essence.”

_“Not that we would’ve protested…”_

“No, of course not. However, the operation I need to discuss with you today isn’t life-saving at the moment, but my colleagues and I believe it to be necessary.”

A gruff male voice broke through,  _“What_  is _it?”_  There was a bit of muffled Norwegian as Idunn berated Agdar for his impatience.

_“My apologies, doctor, but…-”_

“Of course, Mrs. Arendelle, my apologies. We’ve been keeping a close eye on Elsa’s leg injury, however she’s developed an infection over the past couple of days that isn’t responding to antibiotics. It was an open fracture, meaning that any number of bacteria may have entered the wound before it was cleaned and stitched. And I have to give your younger daughter credit; it was Anna who noticed that Elsa was developing a fever, even before the monitoring equipment did.”

Kristoff put his arm around Anna and gave her a squeeze, pressing a kiss to her head.

_“And… what does this mean for Elsa?”_

“If the infection continues to spread, it’s likely that her injury will become septic, meaning the infection will spread to her blood stream. Unfortunately, sepsis is more often than not, fatal.”

There was a sharp intake of breath on both sides of the line, Anna retreating further into Kristoff’s embrace, biting her lip, and more quiet muttering over the phone. Agdar’s voice was the next to speak.

_“What are you proposing..?”_

“A BKA. Below-the-knee amputation. It would eliminate the infection, providing it doesn’t spread in the meantime. There are complications, and there would be additional things to consider during her recovery, but the benefits far outweigh the risks.”

Anna let loose a small sob, burying herself completely in Kristoff’s shoulder. He rubbed her back, muttering into her hair. Dr. Jacobs remained silent, as did the pair on the other end of the line. Eventually, Agdar’s voice came through again, quieter than before, and devoid of emotion.

_“What’s the likelihood that sepsis will set in?”_

“I’d estimate that if we don’t act within the next 24 hours, it’s a certainty. And given that broad-spectrum antibiotics aren’t working, treating it will prove exceedingly difficult.”

_“And after it sets in… how long…?”_

“Sepsis is fatal in four out of ten cases. If it develops into septic shock, that figure becomes six in te-”

_“Do it.”_

“I have your consent for the operation?”

_“Yes. If it’ll save our daughter’s life, you do whatever you have to.”_

“The operation will be scheduled for 8 o'clock tomorrow morning. I’ll have someone contact you as soon as she’s moved back to her room. When you arrive, I’ll go through the differences in Elsa’s recovery in more detail. If you have any questions before then, feel free to contact the ICU staff. Until tomorrow, Mr. Arendelle, Mrs. Arendelle.”

_“Thank you, Doctor.”_

Dr. Jacobs gave Anna a small smile, before leaving the room, closing the door gently behind her. Kristoff leaned forward and picked up the phone, holding in between him and Anna.

 _“Anna?”_  Her mother’s voice came over the speaker this time, suddenly sounding stronger than her father’s had. Anna nodded, then remembered that they couldn’t see her, so she made a tiny affirmative noise.

 _“Everything will be alright, sweetheart, okay? Elsa will sail through her operation, she’ll wake up soon enough, and then your father and I will make arrangements for you both to come back home. You have Kristoff with you, and we’ll be there soon.”_  Her mother’s voice didn’t waver at all, and Anna clung onto the older woman’s determination.  _“Until then, you just need to be you. You’ve always been there for each other - this is no different from any other scrape you’ve gotten yourself into.”_

 _“And,”_  Her father’s voice - he had obviously calmed down enough to return, _“Your sister’s stubborn enough not to let something as simple as a bump on the head ruin her day.”_

Anna let out a solitary chuckle. “I guess.”

 _“And we’re so_  proud  _of you. Picking up on a fever before the machines? Saying well done just doesn’t cut it.”_

“Thank you Papa.”

_“We love you, sweetheart.”_

“I love you too.”

They spoke briefly to Kristoff, thanking him for all he’d done so far, before Idunn asked Anna to put the phone where Elsa could hear. Kristoff hooked up a pair of headphones and gently popped the buds in the blonde’s ears. Unable to hear the rest of the conversation, Anna sat back in the chair and watched Elsa’s face for any reaction. A few minutes later, the phone screen showed the call had ended and Kristoff carefully took the headphones away from Elsa and put the phone on the side table. He sat back with Anna, pulling her close to him.

“She’ll be okay, Anna. You’ll see. You’re stubborn as mules, the pair of you. No way she’s giving up without a fight. And neither should you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who would like a translation…
> 
> "… Mama?"
> 
>  
> 
> _"Hello, darling… how are you?”_
> 
>  
> 
> "I uhm… I’m fine. Listen, uh… Dr. Jacobs needs to talk to you. Elsa needs another operation and she needs to ask your permission."
> 
>  
> 
> _"Okay, darling, hold on…"_
> 
>  
> 
> _"… hello, sunshine."_
> 
>  
> 
> "Hi Papa."
> 
>  
> 
> _"We’re both listening, darling.”_
> 
>  
> 
> "Okay, hold on."


	4. Day Nine

It was late afternoon on Day Five, and Idunn was running out of things to do. She’d completed all her work, packed and repacked her’s and her husband’s suitcases, cleaned the house _several_  times - she was sure if she watered the plants any more they’d drown. She was at a complete loss.

Agdar had already tried to get earlier flights, but all the major airlines were fully booked and chartered flights were a no-go until the skies were clearer. Instead he’d been working from home, cooped up in the study, frantically trying to make sure everything was handed over to his subordinates.

Idunn turned over the page of her book, trying to lose herself in the fiction, and failing miserably. She was grateful when the phone rang, and she reached over to the end table to pick up the welcome distraction.

“Hallo?”

_“Mrs. Arendelle, this is Dr. Jacobs.”_

Idunn jumped up from her seat in the living room, throwing her book to the side. “Doctor! Excuse me for one moment, please?”

_“Of course.”  
_

Idunn covered the mouthpiece with her hand, before jogging out of the living room and down the corridor. “Agdar! Agdar, come quickly!” She came to a halt  in front of the study door just as it flung inwards, revealing the exhausted face of her husband, red hair mussed, dark circles under his eyes. She didn’t wait for him to ask what was going on, merely grabbed his hand and pulled him away from his refuge, back into the living room and onto the sofa. She fumbled with the handset, pushing the loudspeaker button.

“Dr. Jacobs? Sorry, I was just fetching my husband.”

_“No problem at all. In fact, I was hoping to speak with both of you - I just wanted to let you know that Elsa’s surgery was successful. She’s in Recovery at the moment.”_

"When you say ‘successful’…” Agdar looked pensive, wondering just how his idea of ‘successful’ differed to that of the doctor’s.

_“The surgeons didn’t have any difficulty undoing the work of the first operation, and the BKA went as planned. The infection was still_ somewhat  _localised, but they’ve removed some extra tissue as a precaution. She’s also still on antibiotics, but I’m optimistic that the risk of infection has plummeted.”_

“Thank you, doctor. That’s wonderful news.” Idunn took Agdar’s hand and gave it a squeeze, 

_“Is there anything you’d like to discuss with me now, or are you happy to have a complete report when you arrive?”_

Whereas Idunn was happy living in the moment, Agdar couldn’t help but think of what was going to happen  _after_  this was all over. Agdar was fiercely proud of his daughter’s sporting accomplishments, and he knew just how much Elsa’s career meant to her. He couldn’t help but wonder just how  _much_ of the metaphorical toolbox had been thrown into the works in the past 24 hours. “Just… just how much was… removed?”

_“Approximately three quarters of her lower leg.”_

Agdar face remained stoic as Idunn squeezed his hand tightly. He hesitated, desperately trying to find a positive to end the conversation on. “But… the infection- that’s gone.”

“Like I said, I’m optimistic.”

_Read, ‘I’m not going to say yes, just in case that comes back to bite me on the ass’._ “Right… thank you doctor. Is… is Anna there?”

“I think her boyfriend- Kristoff? He’s taken her out for the day.”

* * *

Kristoff had indeed removed Anna from the hospital, doing his utmost to try and keep her distracted. They had breakfast in a small café in town, and spent the afternoon with their friends and team mates, who despite everything, remained upbeat and optimistic. Anna seemed more Anna-like after a few hours, sharing in some of the jokes and smiling. Before they parted and went back to their hotel, Anna was dragged unceremoniously into a large grocery shop and forced to choose multiple boxes of chocolate.

“I’m sure the selection at the hospital is abysmal, so you should stock up before you go back.” Anders had recovered from his brief spate of food poisoning, as had the rest of the team, but had been overwhelmed with guilt upon hearing of his team mate’s accident. Anna had tried to convince him it wasn’t his fault, but he was determined to do whatever he could to help out.

_“It’s the least I can do. If I’d gone out instead of her-”_

_“Then you may or may not have been in the same position, who knows. It was an accident. Stuff happens.”_

Anna had given him a hug, and moved swiftly onto another topic of conversation, but that didn’t stop Anders from berating himself.

“If you won’t choose, we’ll choose for you. And you’ll just end up getting one of everything, so…”

“Anna,” Kristoff sidled up to her and stage whispered in her ear, “Make a choice. I can’t carry the entire store’s chocolate selection back to the hospital. I only have two hands.”

Anna gave in to their prodding and chose a few boxes, which was added to by the others, regardless of her half-hearted protestations. After they had given Kristoff all the bags, Anna was enveloped in a giant team bear hug – they even got a passer by to take a team photo with a hastily scrawled “Get well soon!” on a piece of paper, complete with smiley face.

* * *

Later that evening, Anna and Kristoff returned to the hospital, the latter laden down with umpteen boxes of sugary foods, following the redhead into the ICU.

“You know, at this rate, Elsa’s gonna wake up tomorrow and there’ll be no chocolate left. In fact, I think we should stop a porter and see if they can get us one of those wider chai- hey! Five second rule can’t apply in hospitals - that’s a waste.”

“Contrary to popular belief, there are some chocolates I don’t like, and I will happily continue throwing them at you.”

“Maybe that’s for the best. Does the cot have a weight limit?” Kristoff chuckled and ducked the chocolate she’d just picked up.

“Hey, it’s not  _my_  fault I was forced to accept these. Not that I’m complaining…” She poked her tongue out at him, before popping another chocolate in her mouth.

They made their way through the maze of beds and curtains, passing the nurses’ station and giving Thomas a small wave. Anna frowned as Thomas held up a finger, before scooting around the desk and coming to a stop in front of them. “I was wondering when you two might get back… got enough chocolate?”

“Possibly. Depends on what news you’re about to give me.” She watched as his face morphed into the tight-lipped smile she’d seen all too often over the past few days. “… Thomas?”

“Don’t worry, everything’s alright. Elsa’s surgery went really well.” Anna shut her eyes and let out the breath she didn’t realise she’d been holding. Behind her, Kristoff did the same, giving her an affectionate nudge with his elbow, unable to do much else.

“But-”

“ _But?_ Nuh uh. No buts.” She moved past Thomas, making a beeline for Elsa’s room. She walked in, opening her mouth to say hello, but her breath in turned into a gasp, and she dropped the box of chocolates she had in her hand, scattering them over the floor. She raised her hands to cover her mouth, tears springing to her eyes. She heard the door open again, and there was a clatter of boxes before she felt Kristoff’s arms wrap around her. 

"Anna… honey, it’s okay, it’s okay-”

“No, it’s not okay! How is  _this_  okay!” She forced herself from his embrace, moving over to the end of the bed, looking down at what was left of Elsa’s right leg, wrapped in layer upon layer of bandages. She couldn’t just pass it off as an extended nap anymore. Her sister was  _hurt_. “This- this isn’t right! She’s supposed to be running about in that-” She flung a hand towards the window, framing the winter wonderland outside, “Not- not- … not lying here… with… oh god, Kristoff…”

The reality of the past week finally hit her like a ton of bricks. Once more, she found herself in Kristoff’s arms, and on wobbly legs made her way to the cot, her upset manifesting in floods of tears. Thomas crouched down in front of Anna, whom Kristoff had pulled into his lap.

“Anna… Anna, listen. It’s a lot to get your head around, but the surgery has already helped Elsa a lot.” He waited for a moment, continuing when he saw he had the young girl’s attention, “The infection is all but gone. The antibiotics we’re giving her now are working like a charm, and we’re satisfied that the risk of pneumonia has decreased. And now her body’s not trying to fight off an infection, she can concentrate on waking up. We’re already working on decreasing her dependence on the ventilator,  _and_  we’ve already seen signs of improvement since the sedation wore off.”

Anna sniffed, and roughly rubbed her face with her sleeve. “You… you have?”

“Mhmm hmm. I swear she scowled when I took her headphones out earlier on.” Thomas grinned when Anna’s face lit up.

“Were there any eyebrows involved?” Kristoff demonstrated, and Thomas replied with a chuckle and a no. “Aah, she can’t have been that mad, then.” He grinned and bounced his knee a little, making Anna chuckle.

“Before you turn in for the night, I want to show you a few tests that you can perform in the morning. It seems a little harsh, but the best indicator at this stage is Elsa’s response to pain. Like so.” He quickly took Kristoff’s hand, and gave his fingernail a hard squeeze, making the blonde wince and hiss. Thomas let go.

_“Heeey.”_

“Sorry, I didn’t think it would be fair to subject Anna to much more today. But you see? Even something that small and harmless provokes a response. The difference is, you can react to allieviate pain; at the moment, your sister doesn’t. I’ll leave you with a little chart, you can mark off her reactions during the day. The more appropriate her reaction, the better. Sound good?”

Anna nodded, happy to have been given some way to assist the nurses. She’d tried to help as best she could, but most of it was too technical or she simply wasn’t allowed. But this. This she could do.

* * *

On Day Six, she began  _Operation Irritate Elsa_ , in lieu of a better title. It took a couple of tries, but she finally coaxed out of the Elsa the same scowl Thomas had described, and laughed at the barely noticeable eyebrow twitch. On Day Seven, Anna had managed to work out the timing of her tests to coincide with Elsa’s doses of meds, trying to get a result not dulled by morphine. On Day Eight, she had almost fallen off her chair when her test had caused Elsa’s eyes to briefly flutter open, unfocused and bleary, but Anna had definitely seen blue.

By Day Nine, Anna’s optimistic attitude had returned, her outlook improving alongside Elsa’s. She had rung her parents that morning, and left a ridiculously high pitched voicemail about Elsa’s disgruntled and audible – though incomprehensible – reaction to  _Operation Irritate Elsa_  that morning. Finally breaking out the chocolates in celebration, she had hugged Kristoff until he was blue in the face, and then proceeded to hug anyone who entered the room, including most of the nurses and Dr. Jacobs.

She was about to leap up and hug the next nurse who entered, but stopped dead in her tracks when Dr. Jacobs entered, followed by two police officers, hats in hand.

“Miss Arendelle?”

Kristoff stood and walked over to Anna, putting a hand on the small of her back and standing at her side, looking the two officers over.

“… one of them, yes. I didn’t think the police were involved in Elsa’s accident.”

“We’re not, miss. We’re here on another matter.”

Dr. Jacobs spoke next, and the tone of her voice stripped Anna of all her previous optimism, “Anna… it might be best if you took a seat.”

“What’s… what’s going on?”

“Miss…” The second officer spoke softly, and she walked past her colleague and stood closer to Anna, but stayed out her personal space – and Kristoff’s reach. “Miss Arendelle. We have some bad news. A short while ago, we were contacted by an official from Montréal-Trudeau International Airport, after they had investigated the non-arrival of a chartered flight from Norway.”

For the second time is as many weeks, Anna felt the Earth start to crumble apart around her. She barely registered the feel of Kristoff’s arm moving round to encompass her waist or saw Dr. Jacobs dart over to the other side of the room and the sound of chair legs scraping across the floor. She tried desperately to focus on the woman in front of her, and the complete lack of emotion in her voice terrified Kristoff, “What happened to the plane?”

“… I’m sorry, but their investigations discovered that plane was caught in a freak snow storm over the Atlantic. Neither the pilot, nor your parents survived.”

She barely heard Kristoff call her name before everything fell silent.

* * *

The room was dark when Anna opened her eyes. She was lying down, on what felt like her cot bed. Sure enough, when her eyes adjusted to the low light levels, she saw the hospital bed in the middle of the room, but she was too low to see the person on it. She saw light peering in through the gap under the door, flickering as people walked by. She looked around once more. Kristoff wasn’t there. Dr. Jacobs wasn’t there. The police officer wasn’t there.  
 _The police officers._

Anna sat bolt upright in the bed… or at least she would’ve done had something not been draped over her side. Kristoff  _was_  there, lying behind her, one arm as her pillow, the other holding her up against him. He started awake at the sudden movement, pulling her closer. A few mumbled words later, he realised what had woken him.

“Hey… how are you feeling?”

“… I don’t know.” She attempted to sit up again, and Kristoff rose with her, arranging himself so she was sat in between his legs, his back up against the wall, her back against his chest.

“… it was real wasn’t it. They… the cops… they were here?”

“They were.”

“And… and what they said… I… I didn’t dream it?”

“… I’m sorry, Anna. It wasn’t a dream.”

She stared blankly ahead, before her gaze was caught by the repeating peaks and troughs of her sister’s heartbeat on the monitor.

_The only family I have left._

She didn’t look away from the monitor for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~SORRY.~~ Not sorry.
> 
> Okay, so. A few bits of jargon here, so’s I can explain some of the things I have used in writing this:
> 
> Two commonly used scales in recording a coma patient’s response levels are the Glasgow Coma Scale, and the Rancho Los Amigos Scale. The GCS is an objective way to record a patient’s response to pain, even whilst unconscious (and provides the basis for Operation Irritate Elsa). The RLAS does this as well, but also goes further and provides an assessment tool for use during recovery. I didn’t really start using the RLAS until about… Chapter 7?, but then I started over-analysing everything and decided that sticking to it religiously wasn’t a good idea and besides, everyone’s recovery is different. 
> 
> I’ve also drawn upon my own experiences in the short time I’ve been working at St. Thomas’ Hospital, during which I’ve been to ICUs and A&E departments and I’ve seen the ridiculous range of equipment they hook patients up to, and my own morbid curiosity had taken me to the deepest recesses of Wikipedia and YouTube and I’ve read up about them all and watched various procedures and I love medical stuff oh my goodness.


	5. Awake

“Elsa! Elsa, it’s okay! It’s there to help!” 

Anna jerked awake at Kristoff’s raised voice coming from the middle of the room, combined with piercing alarms and some rather unhappy groaning. She rubbed her eyes and looked up to see her boyfriend forcibly holding her sister to the bed. 

“Woah, Kristoff, what the hell?!” She fell out of bed, almost falling into the hospital bed before disentangling herself from her bed sheet. She slammed the call button, not noticing it had already been pushed, before looking back at Kristoff, trying to work out how best she could help whilst still half asleep. Thomas and another nurse appeared within a few seconds, just as Kristoff began explaining. 

“She was trying to pull out the ventilator tube, then when I tried to stop her she started trying to fight me off!” He had a hold of her left shoulder and her right arm, trying to stop her from injuring herself or any one else within range. Anna took her right hand and held it tightly, before reaching up to her forehead and brushing back the bangs which had fallen over her now open and terrified eyes. 

“Elsa! Elsa, listen, you’re okay, you’re  _safe_. The nurses will help you but you need to  _calm down_. Okay?  _Please_ , Elsa, just… calm down. I’m here.” She stroked her cheek with her thumb and for the first time in over two weeks, made  _actual_  eye contact with the panicking blonde. Instantly, Elsa seemed to still, long enough for the nurses to reattach her IV line and give her a mild sedative. Once Kristoff felt her relax, he stepped away and moved to stand with Anna, letting the nurses go about removing the cause of Elsa’s distress, Anna holding her hand all the while. 

There was a hiss of air, followed by a splutter and a sudden, deep intake of breath, Elsa’s hand squeezing Anna’s for a brief moment before it relaxed. Anna watched Thomas hang the endotracheal tube on the side of the ventilator and flip a switch, before it shut down with a quiet hiss. Refusing to dwell on what that sound had meant in her recent spate of bad dreams, she watched as the nurses continued their work, still stroking the back of her sister’s hand. 

“She got me with a left hook… came outta nowhere… that cast is  _damn_  hard.” Anna looked up at the muttering Kristoff and turned his head to the left, catching sight of the red mark that had begun to blossom on his cheekbone.

She chuckled, “Barely conscious, and she can still you a shiner. I’ll take that as a good sign.”

* * *

Both Kristoff and Anna became quite adept at dodging flying fists over the course of the following day. On several occasions, Elsa woke up in a blind panic, adrenaline pumping and desperate to escape the unfamiliar surroundings. 

Kristoff had point blank refused to leave for his hotel after Anna received word of her parents’ deaths, and after ordering Anna to bed early on Day Eleven, he had taken his seat in the chair by the bed, humming quietly to himself at the music on his tablet. He almost dropped the device as Elsa jerked awake with a yelp, before clumsily pushing herself to the head of the bed as if she were trying to escape something. “Woah! Elsa, calm down, you’re safe..!” He carefully made his way over, holding his hands out in front of him. She caught sight of his hand in her peripheral vision and flinched, whimpering. 

"Woah, it’s only me… it’s Kristoff-" 

Elsa whipped her head around to look at him, a tiny sliver of blue barely visible around her dilated pupils, breathing hard and fast. She moaned slightly, and it sounded suspiciously to Kristoff like an attempt of his name. 

"That’s right… it’s me, Kristoff." He heard padded footsteps close in behind him, and watched Elsa’s eyes dart slightly to his left. Elsa barely managed the first letter of her sister’s name, but it was enough. 

"Hey you," Anna slowly moved past Kristoff, slowly putting a hand to Elsa’s cheek, terrified eyes boring into Anna’s tired ones, "it’s alright, you’re okay… you’re in the hospital, remember? You were snowboarding and you hit your head." Anna continued with her short recap of recent events, as she had done every time she sat with her sister. As she spoke, Kristoff watched as the adrenaline drained away, and by the time Anna had finished her tale, speaking calmly and quietly, Elsa had slumped back against the pillows, heavy eyelids sliding shut. 

Anna yawned, rubbing her eyes. Kristoff pulled her down to sit in her lap, stroking her hair when she dropped her head to his chest. “Well done, sleepyhead.” 

"Mhmm." 

"At least she didn’t try and punch either of us this time." 

"…mhmm." 

"… Anna. … Anna?" Kristoff smiled, carrying her back to the cot and letting her sleep in his lap.

* * *

Now Kristoff was at the hospital more often, he became more involved in Elsa’s care and started helping Anna out with various things, such as helping her get Elsa moving, and he started taking an active role in her physio, happy to put his own sporting background to good use. When Elsa had been unconscious, the physiotherapist had done everything himself, but as she started to wake up, he had recommended Anna and Kristoff help out, as he could only turn up at appointed times, and if they could perform simple exercises when Elsa was awake, so much the better… most of the time. 

During one of their “family physio” sessions, Kristoff had been performing some minor stretching exercises when Elsa had caught sight of the bandaged stump that was her right leg. She had been inconsolable, trying to clamber out of bed again, as if she could get away from what she’d seen. Anna had had to fetch the nurses to sedate her, and once she had awoken from her drug-induced sleep, Elsa seemed to be completely unaware of the incident. Anna was determined to make sure her sister wouldn’t make the same discovery again, not until the maelstrom of emotion Elsa seemed to be stuck in had calmed, and Anna thought she could cope. 

Despite the incident, Kristoff would not be put off - not to mention Elsa was _nowhere_ near as comfortable around the physio as she was around her friend - and as he conducted the sessions, he told Elsa a few stories of his own childhood, having already gone through their shared experiences whilst she was asleep. He even sang, quietly, and only when he was definitely, positively, _absolutely_  sure that Anna was asleep. 

 _“Don’t you dare tell her, I’ll never hear the end of it.” Kristoff blushed slightly, slightly embarrassed at his performance. She stayed quiet, but tilted her head slightly, a ghost of a smile on her lips. Kristoff grinned and gave her a little wink,_   _“Thanks. Knew I could count on you.”_

In between the family physio sessions, Anna would sit with her. Elsa would remain silent, but her eyes would immediately snap to Anna’s when she came into view. Elsa’s focus would wander every so often, but it didn’t take much for Anna to bring it back to her. She would start with a brief recap on where they were and why they were there, but didn’t linger on the topic. Instead, the younger girl would continue drawing from her list of funny coaching stories or events from their childhood, describing every little detail until Elsa fell asleep again. Every time she woke, it was for a little longer than before, and Anna’s stories would become more and more animated as her enthusiasm grew. 

On the evening of Day Twelve, Kristoff was sprawled out face down on the cot and Anna was reading with her feet up on the bed. She glanced up when she heard a grumble and saw that Elsa was awake and… frowning at something.

“Elsa? What’s wrong?” She paused, part of her hoping that Elsa would answer her question in her usual elegant and sassy manner, but she didn’t. So Anna continued, pausing after every question, “Are you in pain? … do you want the nurse? … are you co-” Anna stopped, watching as Elsa swiped at her face with her hand, with increasing frustration. The blonde wrinkled her nose slightly. And again. And  _again._

Anna took a wild guess and gave the tip of Elsa’s nose a gentle scratch with her nail. She grinned like an idiot, biting down on her hand to stop herself from laughing and waking up Kristoff, when Elsa’s frustrated look melted away, and she fell asleep again with a quirky satisfied smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Days Ten to Twelve. Bit of a filler episode, I know, and I’m not sorry, but I had to put that last bit in somehow; it’s been stuck in my head from the start. :B
> 
> Some applicable points from The Ranchos Los Amigos scale:
> 
> Level IV (Confused/Agitated: Maximal Assistance)  
> \- Purposeful attempts to remove restraints or tubes or crawl out of bed  
> \- May exhibit aggressive or flight behavior  
> \- Alert and in heightened state of activity
> 
> Level V (Confused, Inappropriate Non-Agitated: Maximal Assistance)  
> \- Unable to learn new information  
> \- Alert, not agitated but may wander randomly or with a vague intention of going home.  
> \- Frequent brief periods, non-purposeful sustained attention
> 
> I may have also used _Superficial awareness of his/her condition_ from Level VII, but PFFT.


	6. Communication

"Hey you."

Elsa’s unfocused eyes searched the room for a moment, unsure of where the sound had come from. A slight squeeze of her hand made her turn turn her head, her gaze finally coming to rest on her sister. Elsa’s fingers twitched in Anna’s palm, and the younger girl smiled. 

"You’re in hospital, in ICU. You hit your head snowboarding, remember? Don’t worry if you don’t. I can fill in all the gaps later. Dr. Jacobs says you’re doing really well; you might see her… later…" Anna trailed off when she saw the anxious look on Elsa’s face hadn’t changed. Though no longer quite as panicked as before - for which Kristoff and his sore cheekbone were  _eternally_ grateful - Elsa would still wake up unsure of where she was and what was going on. Anna’s quick catch up would give her something to focus on, to calm her nerves - whether or not she remembered it was anyone’s guess. 

But it wasn’t working this time. Elsa was clearly upset about something, but Anna couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it might be. 

"Elsa? Elsa, what’s wrong?" She gave the blonde’s hand a little shake, "Can I help?" She watched carefully as Elsa’s blue eyes started wandering the room again, but more purposefully this time, as if she were looking for something. Anna followed her gaze, racking her brains to work out what she was looking for. "You want Kristoff? He’ll be back later-" Anna frowned when Elsa shut her eyes, shaking her head slightly before wincing at the movement. "Woah, okay, no Kristoff. You want a nurse? Some more meds?" 

Elsa shook her head again despite the pain, and Anna could see her tears forming, her frustration mounting. “Oh God, Elsa, I’m sorry… uh… wait, let me go and get some help, okay? I’ll be back, I promise.” She gave Elsa a kiss on the forehead and darted out of the room, almost running in to the nurses station. “Is the speech therapist around?” 

Thomas looked up from a set of notes in front of him, “She’s in with a patient at the moment. Why?” 

"Because Elsa’s awake and she wants  _something_  and I can’t… I can’t work out what.” She fought against her own tears - they were sisters dammit, she should be able to read get older sibling like a  _book_. 

"Okay, give me a minute and I’ll see if I can get a comms board from her." 

Anna looked at him rather blankly, but thanked him all the same. Whatever it was, he must’ve thought it would help, so that was a plus, right? She jogged back to Elsa’s room, and sat back down, somewhat surprised that Elsa was still awake. Whatever she wanted, she was fighting hard to get it. 

It wasn’t long before the comms board was brought in, but not by Thomas. Anna had seen the woman around before, but hadn’t spoken with her. 

"Hey! I’m Rapunzel. I’ve been told you wanted one of these?" She held up a blue board covered with symbols, the alphabet, and a list of various things. Anna leapt off the chair and pulled the young woman into a hug. 

"That’s perfect! Thank you! Elsa, look!" She took the proffered board over to the side of the bed, crouching down by her sister’s head, brushing her fallen bangs out of the way so she could see. "Look, there’s even an Angry option. Just don’t use it too much in reference to me, hey?" 

Rapunzel chucked slightly and stood next to Anna, leaning against the bed. “Elsa, can you nod and shake your head? Nod if you can, tap the bed if you can’t.” 

Elsa nodded, then winced again. She automatically started to shake her head but that just it worse, so she stopped completely, with a tiny whimper. Anna gently pushed her bangs away again. “Tap for no, silly.” 

It was more of a thump than a tap, but Anna was ecstatic. Elsa had understood _and followed_  a command. 

Rapunzel wandered to the head of the bed, hitting the call button, before perching on the edge of the bedside table. “Okay. So now, tap once for yes, twice for no.” 

_… thump._

"Okay. First off, let me introduce myself. I’m Rapunzel and I’m an Occupational Therapist. I’m here for your physical, psychological and social wellbeing." 

"Wait, so… can we come to you instead of the creepy looking physio?" 

Rapunzel laughed, “Ooh, you have Olivier… I’m afraid not, but if you want I can see if any of the other physios can take over. Flynn’s a nice guy. Thinks he’s a bit of a ladies man, but I’m sure you can handle him.” 

Anna smirked, wondering how Kristoff might react. It took a couple of seconds for her to realise Rapunzel had started talking again. 

"When you have to, you can use the board to communicate some of the basics. On this side there’s ‘I am’, ‘I want’, ‘I want to see’, and right at the bottom here you’ve got who, what, when etc. On the other side," Rapunzel waited until Anna had flipped the board over, "you’ve got ways to indicate pain, where it is, a 1-10 scale, what sort of pain, and then these are some questions and requests. Ah, and speaking of…” Rapunzel walked over to the nurse who had entered, talking in hushed voices to sort out some more painkillers.

As she did so, Anna read through the list, hoping that the ‘leave me alone’ symbol wouldn’t be used too often. “Okay, shall we try? Els’, do you want me to read stuff out and you tell me where to stop?” 

There was a moment’s silence, and Anna was about to check that Elsa had understood before there was a quiet tap, a dejected look on the girl’s face. Anna didn’t dwell, instead starting with the pain side. She had to double check Elsa’s response, and Elsa even went so far as to clumsily point it out herself, her finger landing heavily on the lower right leg of the diagram. 

"There?" Anna looked up at Rapunzel, who was wearing a curious look. She lowered her voice, "I didn’t think…" … s _he knows?_

It was the brunette who spoke next. “Elsa, do you remember your accident?” 

Silence. 

_Thump, thump._

"Do you know you had surgery?" 

A tear rolled from the corner of Elsa’s eye into the pillow.  _Thump._

Anna’s face fell.  _Oh, Elsa…_

Rapunzel’s voice softened further than Anna thought possible, “Do you know what happened to your leg?” 

There was no thump, only a strangled sob and more tears as Elsa shrank, curling up as best she could. Anna pushed herself from her crouched position, leaning over and hugging Elsa, muttering repeated apologies. Rapunzel rested a hand on Anna’s back after a minute or so, trying to get her attention again. She spoke quietly, calmly, and Anna wondered briefly if Elsa got the same soothing feeling when she did the same for her. 

"Anna? Has anyone spoken with either of you about the consequences of the operation? What her recovery will be like?" 

The redhead shook her head slightly - Dr. Jacobs had planned to discuss it with Anna and her parents at the same time, but had become too embroiled with the committee looking after the pair that she simply hadn’t had the time and there had been far too much going on for Anna to press her for information. 

"If you want, we can talk later. Have a think of any questions you might have, any Elsa has, and I can try and help you out. I’ll get you some literature to read in the meantime." 

Anna blinked, and nodded her head against Elsa’s shoulder. Rapunzel rubbed her back with a smile, and then took up the crouching position Anna had been in previously, trying to get Elsa’s attention again, distracting her from the nurse and her needle in the background. The blonde’s sobs had quietened, the effort of staying awake for so long clearly evident on her face. 

"Elsa, feeling pain in your residual limb is perfectly normal, there’s no need to worry, alright?" 

…  _thump_. 

The brunette grinned, patting Elsa’s cast-free hand lightly. “Sleep tight.” She looked up towards Anna, who was still using Elsa’s shoulder as a pillow, “And you. Get some sleep, write down some questions later on, and then I’ll set up a time to come back tomorrow.” 

Anna nodded, smiling slightly. She stood up, rubbing her upper arm nervously. “Okay… but… wait, just… one question?” 

"Mhmm?" 

"… Elsa feeling pain is  _normal?_  There’s… there’s no limb to feel pain  _in,_  I don’t…” 

"It’s called phantom limb pain. I can’t explain how it happens… no one can, really. But a lot of amputees can still feel a limb when it’s gone. Some people have reported that they can still move it about, or that it feels like it’s stuck in an awkward position. Standard painkillers will help at the moment, if the pain continues there are other things that can be prescribed. But that’s a talk for later. I’ll let you know when I set up another appointment, alright?" 

Anna nodded, looking down at Elsa, rubbing the back of her hand. She nodded absentmindedly, bid farewell to Rapunzel, and sat back in the chair when she’d left.

* * *

"Hey Fiesty Pants. Mission success!" Kristoff held up the bag of toffee, dropping his rucksack in the corner. He walked over to Anna, dropping the toffee bag in her lap and planting a kiss on her head. "Whatcha got there?" 

"Some light reading." She held up the pile of pamphlets before dropping them back to her lap. "… Elsa spoke with me earlier. Sort of. The nurses have this board with a whole bunch of things that Elsa can point to, ask things, tell us how she’s feeling." 

"That’s great!" Kristoff grinned, pulling her into a hug, squeezing tight. 

"Kristoff," A pause. "… did you tell her about her leg?" 

"Wh-" He looked down at her, pulling back from the hug. Her tone was terse, but not quite accusatory. More… anxious. "No, hun, of course not. You said you wanted to discuss it when  _you_  thought she could cope, and that’s what we we’re going to do.” In truth, Kristoff had disagreed slightly with Anna’s decision to withhold the truth from Elsa. Anna was reluctant to tell her, so much so that she risked Elsa finding out herself before they’d broached the topic. Kristoff had suggested that they tell her sooner rather than later so she would get used to it, but had respected Anna’s decision. 

"… you were right." 

"What?" 

"Elsa knows. She knows about her leg. She knows she had surgery. I don’t know how she found out." 

"Oh…" Kristoff didn’t exactly feel victorious, and crouched down by Anna. "How much does she know?" 

"I… I’m not sure. Rapunzel’s questions only got us so far before she got too upset-" 

"Who’s Rapunzel?" 

"Occupational Therapist. She’s nice. She was the one who explained this," Anna rapped her fingers on the board. "Said she’d be back tomorrow to answer any questions we might have. You, me or Elsa. Oh, and she said she might be able to arrange a different physio." 

"To replace Muscles McCreepy-Face? Elsa will be happy." Anna suppressed a smirk at the fact that  _Kristoff_  might be the one with the problem now. 

” _Very._ " Anna put the board on the side of Elsa’s bed, taking Kristoff’s and pulling him to sit on the cot. She leaned against his chest and shut her eyes when Kristoff wrapped her arms around her. "Makes me wonder though…" 

"What?" 

"What else she knows about what’s going on. When the nurses said she might hear us talking I thought it was a bit ridiculous, but… now I’m not so sure." 

"Well… no doubt we’ll find out soon enough. And for that, you need toffee." 

"Not gonna argue with that logic."

* * *

"… are… are you sure?" 

_Thump._

"A phone call? To… to who?" 

"… mm…" Elsa squeezed her eyes shut, trying to force the word out. There was another  _thump_  as she hit the bed in frustration. 

"Woah, hey, it’s okay, just take it easy," Anna said, taking Elsa’s hand and stopping her from punching the bed again, rubbing a thumb over her knuckles. "Deep breath in… and out… in… that’s it…" When Elsa’s face had changed from complete and utter frustration to mild irritation, Anna gave her hand a squeeze. "Do you want me to get the board?" She looked over at Kristoff, opening her mouth to ask him to go to the nurses, when she heard Elsa’s quiet response. 

"… mm… ma." 

Kristoff sat up slightly on the cot, slowly putting his pad to the side. Anna turned back to her sister with wide eyes, her voice unbelievably small. “… what?” 

Anna’s teeth clamped down on her bottom lip, her chest tightening as she watched the enormous amount of effort it took for Elsa just to utter a single syllable. 

"… ma." 

"I… E-Elsa, they…" 

Anna felt a hand gently come to rest on her shoulder, as Kristoff came to stand behind her, speaking softly, “Elsa, it’s… it’s the middle of the night in Norway… let’s give it a few hours, okay?” 

Anna watched Elsa’s face to try and gauge her understanding, but she couldn’t figure out her sister’s expression. Elsa wasn’t looking at either of them, her gaze wandering over the bed, brows knitted together in a frown. 

Anna reached out to take her hand again, and both she and Elsa jumped slightly at rapping knuckled on the door. Kristoff cleared his throat and looked at Anna for confirmation, before calling out a “Come in” to the visitor. The door swung open, revealing a slim, black haired man in a polo shirt and sweatpants. 

"Hi there." Flynn leant against the door jamb, a cheesy grin on his face, arms crossed in front of him. He tossed his head, flicking his hair out of his face. "I’m Flynn. Punzie told you I was coming, right?" 

Kristoff looked down at Anna with a raised eyebrow, before looking back towards the physio, puffing his chest out slightly. Anna bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from laughing, both at Flynn’s ridiculous behaviour, and Kristoff’s sudden alpha male attitude. She looked towards Elsa, who had look up from the bed and was watching Flynn with a slightly bemused expression. 

_Crisis averted… for now._  “If you mean Rapunzel… yes, she did. Hi. I’m Anna. This is Elsa and-“ 

"I’m Kristoff. Anna’s boyfriend." 

Flynn’s face flickered slightly, and Anna found it harder still not to laugh. “Well, it’s good to meet you all. And we’re going to be seeing a lot more of each other - I’m replacing Olivier.” 

Elsa squeaked slightly, a small grin appearing on her face, and Anna finally couldn’t hold back her laughter. Kristoff let out a small chuckle, but Anna felt the hand on her shoulder tense ever so slightly. 

Flynn grinned, finally coming into the room completely, closing the door behind him, “Well, if that’s not a warm welcome, I don’t know what is.” He leaned against the end of the bed, clapping his hands together. “So! Time to talk physio. Have any of you got any questions for me?” 

They covered Elsa’s question first, which was simply, “When can I get up?”. Flynn explained how he was going to go about his sessions, carrying on from where Olivier had started - he complimented Kristoff on his participation, which made Kristoff even more suspicious of the man - and that in the end, it was up to Elsa how quickly she was up and out of bed. 

"I’ll get a trapeze set up - it’ll hang above your bed, then you can use that to sit yourself up. And I mean sit  _yourself_  up. Eventually I’ll ban these two from helping you and then you’ll have no choice.” He smirked at Elsa’s scowl, “You’ll hate me at first, but then you’ll love me. Everyone loves me.” 

"No Flynn, everyone  _tolerates_  you.” Rapunzel’s toothy grin appeared from around the door, and she waved. “May I come in?” After a collective agreement, Rapunzel’s body followed her head in, and she sidled up to stand beside Flynn. “He’s behaving, I hope?” 

"Of course I’m behaving. What reasons do you have to doubt me? … actually, don’t answer that." 

"Probably for the best." Rapunzel smirked, patting him on the shoulder slightly, "Anyway, I just came to see how everyone was. Elsa? Did they sort out your pain meds?" 

There was a quiet, solitary  _thump_  on the bed, followed by a small yawn as Elsa forced herself to stay awake. 

Rapunzel grinned, “That’s great. I think the doctor’s going to prescribe something a little more specific to your leg pain, start taking you off the stronger stuff.” 

Elsa smiled sleepily, and it only took a few seconds of comforting arm rubbing from Anna before she allowed her eyes to close. Anna grabbed the opportunity by the horns, ignoring Rapunzel’s enquiry as to how she was, “Elsa wants to speak to mama and papa.” 

The young therapist liked at Anna with a slightly pained expression - she had read Elsa’s medical records, and having seen the letters from the ethics committee, she had spoken with Dr. Jacobs. Rapunzel had been horrified to discover that on top of everything, they had lost their parents as a result of them attempting to visit, but until now hadn’t considered that perhaps only  _one_ sister knew. “You’re not sure whether she knows what happened to them.” 

Anna shook her head. She’d had plenty of time to think about it - if someone told Elsa about having surgery, maybe they’d told her about her parents. If Elsa had merely seen her leg and drawn the correct conclusion, then she might not know, and the  _how the_   _hell do I tell her?_

"Anna… we can’t be sure she knows unless someone tells her. If you don’t feel you can, I can get someone else t-" 

"Get some  _random_  person to tell her, “Oh by the way, while you were out like a light, your mother and father died in a plane crash in the middle of nowhere.”? Yeah, because that will go down  _really_   _well_ _!”_

Kristoff crouched down in front of her, taking her hands, ceasing their wild motioning. Her eyes were shining, her brow furrowed, her cheeks reddening. “Anna-“ 

_”_ _No one else has the_   _right_  to tell her! Not you, not some damn counsellor or some faceless committee who don’t know what we’re going through!” 

” _Anna_ , calm down-“ 

She narrowed her eyes at Kristoff, “ _Calm down_ _?_  Don’t you tell me t-“ 

There was a flurry of motion as Rapunzel and Flynn both dove towards the bed, and as Anna looked over Kristoff’s shoulder she saw a messy blonde braid fly over the side, followed by an bandaged arm, fingers working clumsily to grab hold of something… or someone. 

Anna leapt up from the chair, almost falling over Kristoff in her effort to get over to the bed, and took Elsa’s hand. The younger girl’s face fell when she realised that maybe Elsa wasn’t  _quite_  as asleep as she’d thought.

"Elsa… Elsa, I’m so sorry…"

"… ma..?" Anna bit her lip hard as she watched Elsa attempt a ‘p’, almost drawing blood. Her previously eloquent sister, far better at English than she, not to mention the slew of other languages they’d both encountered during their careers, was unable to complete the  _damn alphabet_.

"Elsa… they… there was a crash and… th- they…" Anna clutched onto Elsa’s hand, tears falling freely, her shoulders shaking. Kristoff pulled the chair right up to the edge of the bed, pulling Anna into his lap, resting her head on his chest. He carefully took their joined hands in his, speaking softly.

"Adgar and Idunn were on their way here… there was a freak storm over the Atlantic and they crashed. Search crews went out, but… the seas were so rough… they couldn’t find anything. Or… or anyone."

Kristoff knew the  _exact_  moment the news hit home. Over the hitched sobs of his girlfriend, he heard Elsa inhale sharply, shakily, before she fell deathly silent. Her eyes widened, her gaze so intense he had to look away. His gaze dropped to Anna as she pushed off his chest, her sobs reduced to sniffles. She shuffled closer to her sister, perched on the edge of Kristoff’s lap, and the pair came together in a hug so quickly he didn’t know who moved first.

Elsa finally let go of the breath she’d been holding, and her quiet sobs were quickly joined by Anna’s. Kristoff didn’t know what to do - this wasn’t his moment, but he couldn’t go anywhere. Not with Anna where she was. He glanced up - Rapunzel and Flynn had already left, but a comms board had been left at the end of the bed. The door was closed. It was an unbelievably intimate family moment and he couldn’t help but feel like an intruder.

He sat quietly, looking out the window, absently watching a pigeon on the ledge. He wanted to help them, to comfort the two sisters, but he didn’t know how. Sure, he had lost both his parents as well, but he had been so young he only had vague memories of them, like a shaky video recording with no sound. He had probably known his girlfriend’s parents better than he had his own. Their loss had been hard, but his pain was nothing compared to that of Anna and Elsa.

He was dragged from his reverie when the former very nearly slid off his lap. Kristoff caught her, holding her up by the waist, before gently standing up with her and lifting her up to sit on the bed, all before she had let go of her sister. Elsa wasn’t letting go, clinging on even more now Anna was right beside her, and Anna merely scooted a bit further up the bed and pulled Elsa closer.

Kristoff glanced over his shoulder briefly as he made his way to the door. They had barely moved when he returned half an hour later, both girls fast asleep in a tangled mess of arms, hair and cables. Kristoff smiled sadly and sank down onto the cot, drifting off into a restless sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Ranchos Los Amigos Scale:**   
>  _Level VI (Confused, Appropriate: Moderate Assistance)_
>
>> \- Vague recognition of some staff  
> \- Verbal expressions are appropriate in highly familiar and structured situations  
> \- Consistently follows simple directions  
> \- Inconsistently oriented to person, time and place
> 
> _Level VII (Automatic, Appropriate: Minimal Assistance for Daily Living Skills)_
>
>> \- Superficial awareness of his/her condition but unaware of specific impairments and disabilities and the limits they place on his/her ability to safely, accurately and completely carry out his/her household, community, work and leisure ADLs (Activities of Daily Living)  
> \- Demonstrates carry over of new learning
> 
> Also, the communication board referenced is found here -  
> 31.media.tumblr(dot)com/37672db15210343f97cfb08eb17443cb/tumblr_inline_nlmvsuBqme1rn7op0.gif / 41.media.tumblr(dot)com/c8502b1d7220e3db1b29e0d411117aad/tumblr_inline_nlmvt6G4rl1rn7op0_500.jpg 


	7. Nightmares

_Christ, it’s dark. What time is it? … 3:42am. Well… could be wor- wait, what?_

_Crap._

_Anna._

_Anna, wake up._

_Anna, it’s just a bad dream, come on._

_Kristoff, where the hell are you?_

Anna _… dammit, Elsa, she’s not a bloody mind reader._  Say  _something._

_…_

Fine.  _Plan B. Noise. Uhm… not sure Thomas would appreciate me knocking the equipment over. What else, what el- that’ll do._

 _Stupid cup, why are you so far away… okay, uh… pull yourself over. Grab the side rail and… no, hand,_  grab  _the rail, don’t just hit it- would that be enough noise? … probably not. And_  ow _. Smarts a lot more without the bandage on._

_Right, so… if pulling won’t work… pushing. Shove yourself over._

_… Oh my god, Elsa,_  worms  _do this with more grace._

 _Ah ha! You are mine, cup. Aaaand_.  _.. meet the floor! Oh… well, then second time luck-_

_Crap, that was a lot louder than I was going for. Well, that was the idea, I guess. Let’s hope it worked, there’s nothing else around…_

_Yes! Anna! Anna?_  “A’ah?”  _… almost got the n’s._

"Elsa?"

_…oh sweetheart, you look exhausted._

"Woah, hey. Is everything alright? Do you need something?"

 _Me? Nuh uh. Nope._  You  _need to take care of yourself, not me… oh hey, I can shake my head without it pounding so much now._

"You don’t? Then… why did you- me? What about me?"

 _Now, useless hand. Point at the door. … oh, for fu-_  thank  _you._

"… you… you want me to go?"

_Oh god._

_No, no, no, not like tha- well done, you idiot, you’ve upset her. Grab. Hand. Grab her hand._  Grab it!

"… you… don’t want me to go? Elsa, I… I’m confused."

_Sorry._

_Where the hell is that damn board? Okay… you’re going to_  have  _to say it, otherwise she’ll just get more confused. Come on, she works with children, I’m sure she can translate your gibberish. Take, care, of, yourself. Four words. Take. Take._  Take. “Ake…”  _Okay, care. Care…_

"… ‘are… y’… se’f."

_That’s it, Anna. Work it out. I can see those cogs turning up there, a smart cookie like you should be able t-_

"Take care of myself?"

_YES. Okay, Elsa, you’re on a roll._

"D… ‘ay… off."

"Day off… you want me to take a day off? From you?"

 _Elsa, why are_  you  _getting teary. It’s not exactly Shakespeare._

"But-"

"S’ard… mm… me."

_If you’d done this in Norwegian, you’d wouldn’t have managed anything but her name._

"Hard? Elsa, I wanna help you-"

"Are…. lot."

"Then why…"

_Why the hell can’t I put this into one syllable words?_

"S’day… sev’teen."

"Right, it’s day seventeen."

"Bin… w’me… all time."

"I… I have. But-"

“‘ay nine…  _here_.”

"Day nine- you… did you  _hear_  that? The… the police officer?”

 _I heard you crying yourself to sleep. And I wasn’t there for you. Wasn’t- goddamn it, Elsa,_  stop. crying.

"Y’stayed…  _here. W’ me_. Y’ need s’port… fr’m ‘stoff… Kai… Ger’a… I… I _can’t… ‘elp you._  ‘ake care…  _you.”_

"No. No, no, no. No, Elsa, I… when I… when the officer said mama and papa were d-… gone… I was terrified. That you might not get better, or… or that you might get worse. And then… then you punched Kristoff and I knew that I wasn’t going to be alone."

_… you have no idea how much I’ve missed that smile._

“Not that I  _condone_ you punching him, but he didn’t even realise until afterwards, and I’m sure you didn’t realise either because you had other things to think about, and anyway, he’s a big guy, I’m sure he can ta-”

“Ah’na!”

_… never change._

“Sorry. But… but I… I can’t leave you. Not right now. I’m… I’m scared that if I go, something might happen to you and… I’d be all alone.”

 _Hand. Do the thing. … oh jesus, not_  that…  _that’s it. And grip… oh come on, you_  punched  _someone and now you can’t even do this one thi- good._

“Ah’na… m’ not… goin’ an’where. B’sides…”  _Not with…_  that _, anyway. I’m not exactly going to get very far._

“Hey, I don’t know… you could choose to take on all the nurses, steal a wheelchair and coast to freedom. Grind down the bannister for show. You could’ve been planning it for ages - Kristoff was just a test of stren- Hey, how come  _I’m_  worthy of your first post-coma eyebro- don’t poke your tongue out at me, y’stinker!”

“Me? Stin’er?”

“Are you saying I- … oh my god. Okay, uhm… I’ll compromise. I  _will_  take care of myself. In the form of a shower and slightly more hospital food, slightly less chocolate. And  _you_  will get well enough so we can escape together.”

“Wheel’n off ‘nto… s’nset?”

“With Kristoff pushing us, of course.”

“‘kay…. he c’n sing… getaway musi’…”

"… wait, what?"

“… ‘na?”

“Mhmm?”

“… a- I lo… ‘ve…”

 _Nuh uh. Nope. Elsa, you_ will  _spit this out, or I_ swear  _to whatever deity decided to keep you alive, there will be no more pain meds for yo-_

“I know. And I love you too so very much.”


	8. Feel, Don't Conceal

"Nope."

"Please?"

“Nuh uh.”

” _Please?”_

"Nooope."

"Anna…"

"If you want chocolate, you’ll have to come and  _get_ it.”

Elsa scowled at her sister, who was sat on a chair at the foot of the bed, slowly making her way through a chocolate selection box. Strictly speaking, Elsa didn’t _need_  to eat, thanks to her NG tube, but hardly a morsel of food had passed her lips in three weeks and she  _missed_  it. Anna wasn’t helping either. Especially not now she was deliberating waving the chocolates in front of her older sister to try and force her to move.

After their first midnight conversation, Anna had heeded Elsa’s request, and had started eating less convenience food and sleeping regular hours. Kristoff would make sure she had a proper breakfast at the very least, taking her to a small café outside the hospital, which gave Anna the opportunity to pick up various snacks on the way back, many of which she would sneak into the ward to share with Elsa in exchange for different physical activities. Today, Elsa had to scoot the short distance to the end of the bed.

She glanced upwards at the small metal trapeze that hung above the bed. For reasons that Elsa couldn’t fathom, she hated it with a passion. She had grumbled at it one afternoon, thinking that Kristoff - the only other person in the room at the time - wouldn’t hear, but he had looked over at her sympathetically and offered a possible explanation.

_"Maybe it’s because you’re having to rely on it. You put up with Anna’s help because she’s your sister, I’m a friend, and you feel like you owe something to the nurses. You can’t hurt the feelings of a piece of metal." Elsa stared at him, until he looked up from what he was reading and met her gaze. "What?"_

_"You’ve b’n spendin’ waaay too much time w’ Rapunz’l."_

Kristoff had merely grinned and gone back to his book. It had been the most plausible explanation though, she thought; Elsa had woken up one day to find herself crippled, unlikely to ever be able to continue where she’d left off, and the stupid metal trapeze just dangled there, mocking her.

Unfortunately for Elsa, her sister was an optimist. An optimist holding a piece of chocolate covered Turkish Delight.

"Oh, El-saaa…"

Elsa grumbled, part English, part Norwegian, whatever she could manage. Anna smirked, waiting for her sister’s taste buds to get the better of her.

It didn’t take long. Using a combination of the trapeze and the side rails on the bed, Elsa slowly hauled herself to sit on the end of the bed, legs- well, leg and a bit dangling over the edge.

Anna grinned at her sister and passed her the small prize. Ever so carefully, Elsa shifted the tissue into her palm and delicately shoved the small piece of chocolate into her mouth. It was at that point that Thomas entered the room, and gave the redhead an unimpressed look.

” _What?_  There’s got to be an incentive, right?”

Thomas shook his head, and couldn’t help but chuckle at her innocent look. “How long have you been doing this?”

"A day… or two… maybe three."

"Any advance on three?"

"… four?"

Thomas hummed, and looked towards Elsa, who was slowly chewing on her piece of chocolate. It tasted even more incredible after three weeks of nothing, and Elsa didn’t want the sensation to end. “Any problems swallowing your sister’s contraband?” Elsa shook her head, her cheek puffed out like a hamster’s. “Prove it.” Elsa complied, forcing her dead weight of a tongue into action. Thomas looked thoughtful.

"… what?"

"… I’ll speak to Dr. Jacobs, see if we can’t remove your NG tube."

Elsa closed her eyes briefly.  _"Thank you."_

Thomas chuckled, checked what he needed to check and then left again. Anna grinned and patted Elsa on the knee. “Hey hey! Another win for team Arendelle!”

There was a creak as Kristoff leaned back in his chair, tilting it back onto its rear legs and putting his feet up on the bed, smirking. “Some of the hospital food actually looks sort of edible, too.”

"Don’t care if s’ _mush_. I just wanna eat.” Elsa shuffled back up the bed, leaning heavily against the pillows with a groan.

Anna frowned, sitting up on the end of the bed. “You okay?”

"My arm hurts, m’ leg hurts, and  _no,_ " she said, as Anna opened her mouth to interject, "I don’t wan’ any more morphine, it makes my head hurt. An’ makes me sound ev’n  _more_  drunk than I already do.”

Anna closed her mouth with a small “Oh.” before she sat back on her chair, busying herself with putting the chocolate box away.

Elsa watched her for a moment, before her gaze dropped to the bed. “… sorry, Anna.” She caught a glimpse of Anna’s small smile, but didn’t feel particularly worthy of it.

"Hey, I’ve got an idea." Kristoff’s feet dropped from the bed, and he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. "We should ask if we could go outside."

"Outside?"

"Yeah… I mean, even if they can’t let us  _outside_  outside, perhaps we could at least get out of this room for a bit. Sound like a plan?”

"Sure."

"Elsa?" Kristoff only just saw the blonde’s nod. Tilting the chair forward again, he pushed himself up to his feet, slapping his hands on the arms. "Right then. C’mon, Feisty Pants. I think you’ll do a better job convincing the nurses than me." He walked out the room with Anna, but walked past the nurses’ station and out into the main entrance corridor.

"Anna… are you okay?"

"Yes- no… I don’t know." Anna huffed, walking up the corridor a fraction before turning around on her heel, letting out an exasperated noise. "It’s all just so… _frustrating!_ " Kristoff steered her into an empty relatives’ room, before her pacing began in earnest.

"I can’t do anything to help! There’s nothing I can do, and if there _was_ something, she probably wouldn’t  _let me!_  She’s too damn stubborn to accept help-“

"Anna. Remind me. What were the possible side effects of her bump on the head? The list Dr. Jacobs told us."

"You  _know_  this.”

"Remind me. Please."

Anna sighed heavily, “Emotional instability, depression, anxiety, irritability, anger…”

"Depression, irritability… Anna, she can’t help how she’s feeling."

Anna fell onto one of the sofas, running her hands through her hair. “I know, I know.”

"And," Kristoff crouched down in front of her, rescuing her braids from her twitchy fingers and stroking the back of her hands, "neither can you."

Anna stared down at her lap, and Kristoff, not letting go of her hands, tilted her head up by the chin to look at him. “You’ve spent almost three weeks in a  _horrible_  environment, dealing with a whole heap of shit, and you’ve done it all with a smile on your face. You’ve worked alongside the nurses so often, I reckon any day now they’re gonna give you a set of scrubs and put you to work.

"But you need to realise you’re not alone in this; there are loads of people around to help. Dr. Jacobs, Thomas, the other nurses, Rapunzal, Flynn… heck, at a pinch, you can even ask  _me_  to do stuff. Otherwise you’ll just burn yourself out and then Elsa will hit me upside the head again. And now she doesn’t have bandages for padding. In fact, her left arm’s been reinforced with metal plates and that  _scares_ me. Things could get ugly.  _I_   _could get uglier_.” He gave Anna a melodramatic look of horror, which became a warm smile when she chuckled lightly. He lifted a hand to her cheek, rubbing away a renegade tear with his thumb.

"You’ve been through a lot, sweetheart. And not just what’s happened to your sister… it’s been over a week, and you’ve barely said a word about your parents." The only time they’d been mentioned was when Elsa had been told, and it was Kristoff who had done the talking - Anna hadn’t actually said the words yet.

"… I try not to think about it. If I don’t think about it, it’s almost as if they’re just stuck at the airport or something. They’re on their way, but… just delayed."

Kristoff remained silent, stroking Anna’s cheek as her gaze dropped back to her lap, a single tear dropping onto their joined hands, her voice quiet and stuffy. “I… I know they’re not coming… I just… I wish they were here. They’d know what to do. They’d- they’d be here and… everything would b- be okay.”

The last syllable came out as a choked sob, and Anna’s grip tightened on Kristoff’s hand. He knelt up, before pulling her towards him in a hug, cradling her head as the weeks of negative emotion Anna had refused to act on hit her like a ton of bricks. She felt sad, she felt lonely, but more than anything, she felt anger - at whatever it was that had caused Elsa to crash; at her sister for taking the place of her team mate in a sport that wasn’t her own; at whatever idiot had been the cause of the food poisoning at the event; at the storm that had torn her family apart. Her parents should have been there by now.  _They_ should be the ones talking with doctors and nurses, learning difficult medical terms and fiddly procedures, not her. Instead, there had been a faceless committee in charge, until Elsa had been deemed cognisant enough to make her own decisions. Even then, there were still tons of almost-strangers who were dictating their lives for them. And as much as she appreciated what they were doing, as much as she’d grown to  _like_  some of them…

Anna wanted her mama and papa.

Kristoff stayed quiet, just rubbing Anna’s back gently as she released all the pent up tears and anguish. After several minutes, Anna’s sobs turned to quiet hiccoughs, and she moved back, wiping her eyes on her sleeve, before she caught a glimpse of the mess on Kristoff’s shoulder, “Oh god… I’m sorry-“

"Hey, don’t worry about it. Nothing that won’t come out in the wash." He shrugged, grabbing a box of tissues from a nearby shelf and passing them to Anna, watching as she tried to dry up the wet patch on his shoulder with them. "Maybe I can borrow a scrub top. What do you think - pink or blue?"

Anna laughed quietly, before wiping her eyes dry, “Blue.”

"Y’think so? I thought pink might bring out the colour of my eyes."

"No, just the colour of your cheeks when I take a photo for posterity."

"Fine," Kristoff sighed dramatically, rolling his eyes. He took a tissue himself and dabbed away a couple of tears that Anna had missed. "Feel any better?"

"… a little."

"Good." He leaned up and gave her a gentle kiss, before resting his forehead against hers. "Jeg elsker deg, Anna."

"Jeg elsker deg også, Kristoff."

"Promise not to bottle anything up anymore?"

Anna nodded. She’d never been very good at hiding her emotions, a trait she shared- had shared with her father, as much as he had tried to reign them in on occasions. Her mother and sister had always been the quiet, demure ones - unless they were  _really_  excited about something. God forbid they’d be that excited about the same thing  _at the same time_. It was quite the sight to behold.

Kristoff smiled, then tapped Anna gently on the nose. “Thank you. Now… I believe we have an escape to plan. Do you want to come with me to speak with the nurses?”

"… no, it’s okay. I’m sure you can handle them."

"Oh, I dunno… that older nurse with the hip- Deirdre. She scares me."

Anna snorted, hitting him on the arm, “Get your butt out there, reindeer man!”

_"She said she wouldn’t tell anyone about that!"_

Anna laughed, leaving him to drop his head to the seat of the chair she’d vacated and heading back to Elsa’s room. Cracking the door open, she checked to make sure there were no nurses inside, before she closed the door behind her and walked over to the bed. Elsa peered towards the door, and sat up so quickly Anna thought she’d get whiplash.

"Anna! Wha’s wrong? Are you okay?"

"I’m fine… well… no, I’m not, but I will be." Anna sat on the side of the bed and took Elsa’s hand. "I’m just… I’m a lot of things. Annoyed. Angry. Frustrated… sad. But I’m happy too. Not too long ago I was scared that I’d be all alone, just… Anna in her own little family of one.” She chuckled nervously, letting her hands drop after a brief wave in the air, before beginning to play with her fingernails. “But… but you’re getting better, and I know you’re frustrated too because you want to be outside doing all the stuff you were doing before but instead you’re just stuck in here with me and Kristoff-"

"M’not  _stuck_  here with you, I…” Elsa pursed her lips, brow furrowed in concentration as she thought how best to explain. “I don’t r’member a lot of stuff from when I was asleep… but… most of the stuff I do r’member- is you. Telling stories about things we did as kids or… stuff the kids in your classes say and- did you read ingredients t’ me?”

Anna laughed, “Yeah, I uh… I had this amazing story to tell you, but I totally forgot it. I was so set on this one story I couldn’t think of anything else to say, so I read the backs of sweet packets to you for like, an hour.”

Elsa grinned, “Well… I r’member that pretty well, but… the thing I remember most was… on Day Nine, you were mumbling in your sleep. Calling out for mama an’ papa… you were so upset, and I couldn’t  _do_  anything. I was trying, but-… I dunno how t’ explain it. I… I can’t even remember what mama and papa said to me, but I remember that.”

"They… they spoke to you on Day Four. You could hear stuff that early on?"

"I could hear stuff, but it was all… blurry. Hazy. Nothing made sense; it may as well have been in Jap’nese, but… I heard their voices. It was soothing, like… like my brain was being hugged… wha’at?"

Anna chuckled slightly at Elsa’s analogy, “You had headphones in. We wanted to make sure you heard what they had to say, if you could hear anything at _all_ but… well.” Her smile faltered as she felt a small pang of guilt that she heard her parents’ last words to her, but Elsa hadn’t. Anna’s inability to conceal her emotions was once again confirmed when her sister forced her to look up at her.

"Hey, s’not your fault. And besides, I may not have heard words, but… I got the message." Elsa forced a smile, blinking back tears.

"Don’t you start crying, you’ll set me off again…"

"Sor-" The rest of Elsa’s apology was muffled by Anna’s shoulder. Kristoff came back into the room to find both girls clinging onto each other for dear life, and waited patiently by the door, shooing off any nurse who came by in search of the sounds of distress.

After they had calmed, he walked to the bed, pulling them both into a gentle bear hug. He pulled back, ignoring the apologies to his shirt, before stepping aside to reveal…

"A wheelchair!" Anna leapt off the bed, still holding Elsa’s hand. "They said we can go?"

"They said we could go, yes.  _But,_ " he hastened to add, just as Anna started bouncing on the spot, "We can’t leave this floor, so the view from the lift lobby is the best we’ll get. And for no more than half an hour."

Elsa smiled, her hand jiggling about as Anna did a small happy dance. “Sounds  _wonderful._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nasogastric Inbutation is a medical process involving the insertion of a plastic tube (nasogastric tube or NG tube) through the nose, past the throat, and down into the stomach. Nasogastric tubes are often used in the intensive care unit (ICU) to provide nutrition to critically ill patients while their medical conditions are addressed. There is moderate evidence for use of feeding tubes in the ICU, especially if requiring mechanical ventilation for more than three days.
> 
> Emotional symptoms that can follow TBI include emotional instability, depression, anxiety, hypomania, mania, apathy, irritability, and anger.
> 
> Everyone’s favourite Ranchos Los Amigos Scale:
> 
> **Level VIII (Purposeful, Appropriate: Stand-By Assistance):**
> 
> \- Consistently oriented to person, place and time  
> \- Overestimates or underestimates abilities  
> \- Depressed  
> \- Irritable  
> \- Low frustration tolerance/easily angered
> 
> **Level IX (Purposeful, Appropriate: Stand-By Assistance on Request):**
> 
> \- Aware of and acknowledges impairments and disabilities when they interfere with task completion and takes appropriate corrective action but requires stand-by assist to anticipate a problem before it occurs and take action to avoid it


	9. Pizza & Planes

Kristoff had chosen to omit one rather crucial detail: Dr. Jacobs had decided Elsa – with Anna by her side and therapists in tow – was well enough to be moved from the ICU to a different ward. It also meant that people other than Kristoff were allowed in, and after a couple of days the nurses allowed the first of her team mates to visit, many of whom had flat out refused to leave the country to return home. Each group brought with them increasing amounts of chocolate and pizza, much to the nurses’ chagrin, as they then had to work out who in Elsa’s thankfully sparsely populated bay was allowed to have pizza – the team were determined to share it out amongst the few patients with whom she was staying.

“Look, look! I told you!” Mikkel, who was sat precariously on the edge of his team mate’s chair, nudged Kirsten in the shoulder, his hand and pizza slice pointing in Elsa’s direction.

“What?” Elsa frowned, dropping her hand back to her lap with a thud, the small slice of pizza falling from her still somewhat uncooperative fingers on to her makeshift cardboard plate.

“Grin again.”

“… huh?”

“You can’t just ask someone to grin, Mikkel,” said Anna, who was sat on Elsa’s right in the bed. Kristoff was perched on the end, having given up his chair for Kirsten.

“But… I need Elsa to grin and then you can see what I’m talking about..!”

The sisters looked at each other in confusion, then back at Mikkel. The sad pout on his face made Anna snort, which in turn gave Mikkel the result he was after.

“See! Look! It’s different!”

“Oh my god,” Kirsten slapped him on the arm, “You’re so tactless, you know that?”

“What’re you guys on ‘bout?” Elsa looked between them, wearing a rather bemused look, and grinning slightly, just proving Mikkel’s point.

“When you grin, it’s lopsided. It wasn’t before. … it’s rather adorable, actually. To people who don’t know how scary you can be.”

“Seriously, Mikkel?”

“What?” Talking with his mouth full, a piece of pizza flew from his mouth and landed on Kirsten’s lap. She punched him in the thigh.

“No, no… he’s right.” Kristoff turned slightly to face Elsa and left the two to bicker, “I meant about the lopsidedness. I haven’t noticed that before… might have affected the potency of the eyebrow thing, though.”

“Oh…” Elsa frowned and fell silent, thinking. Kirsten whispered angrily at Mikkel for his comment, but stopped when Elsa asked, “Anything else?”

“Well… your appetite certainly hasn’t changed much. I swear you’ve eaten a whole pizza yourself. Not that I can blame you. The hospital food smells a bit…” Mikkel turned his nose up.

“Hey, I’ve not had pizza in forever. And the whole… food tube thing’s not what it’s cracked up t’be.” Elsa finally got around to eating her little sliver of pizza, once again savouring the taste before she swallowed and then grinned. Lopsided.

Mikkel and Kirsten were later replaced by two different team mates, the visiting hours stopping anyone else from visiting. The next day, two more arrived, followed by her coach in the afternoon. That had been a pizza free, rather more subdued conversation.

“So… we looked through the footage that Kristoff took-”

“You taped it?” Anna glared at her boyfriend, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I forgot! I was only taping it because Elsa wanted to analyse her run and then… other stuff happened.”

Henning leaned forward in his chair again, starting off louder than before in order to draw the attention back to him, “We looked through the footage… and it looks like something had gone wrong with your board, Elsa. But… we only have the footage to go by, and it’s not exactly professional quality.”

Elsa hadn’t been able to remember anything of the crash, or anything that had happened earlier that day. In fact, she had a clearer picture in her head of Anna’s activities that morning, due to her constant storytelling. Try as she might, Elsa simply could not recount her actions for the entire 24-hour period.

“We looked the board over, but… it was pretty badly damaged. It’s difficult to tell what was already broken, and what happened in the crash – I’m going to send it back to Norway to have our mechanics check it over.”

“You don’t think… you don’t think someone did this to Elsa deliberately… do you?” Anna clutched tightly to her sister’s hand, horrified at the thought that someone might have sabotaged Elsa’s board and risked her life, for some unknown reason. Elsa remained silent.

“I doubt it. As… unsportsmanlike as some of the other competitors that were present can be, I can’t imagine any of them doing this deliberately. Hopefully our mechanics will be able to figure out what happened, but I’m afraid we can’t rule anything out yet.”

Before Elsa had chance to dwell on the possible cause of her accident, Henning grinned and clapped his hands on his knees. “But! Enough of that. I have much, much better news. Though from what I hear, your other patients won’t be too happy about the loss of their source of pizza….”

Anna immediately perked up, looking between Elsa and Kristoff. The former spoke first, “What… what news?”

“Well, I’ve been in contact with… it would be easier to tell who I’ve not spoken to, but between the team, your sponsors, this hospital, Mork Rehabiliteringssenter and your family friends, we’ve managed to arrange for you to go home. Well. Norway, at least.”

Elsa’s voice was shaky and quiet, almost as if repeating his words too loudly might alert some higher power and deny her the chance. “I can go home?” Henning nodded, and it was all it took to make Elsa burst into tears.

“Woah, hey… I hope those are happy tears.” His voice was soft, but laced with humour. When Elsa nodded from within her sister’s crushing hug, he grinned. “Well, that’s good. I know Canada’s nice, but you can’t get good lutefisk here for squat.”

Anna’s smile was short lived, and she looked at Henning, “Just… how are you planning to get Elsa back home?”

“Ah, yes… well… the quickest and safest option… is by air.” He raised his hands in front of him when Anna glared at him, “To go by sea would take far too long, and then there’s the additional road travel… Anna, it’s too much. I know why this bothers you. But it’s the only way.”

Anna continued to glare at him, whilst mulling over what he had said. In the end, she had to admit he was right. A flight would take eight, maybe nine hours. A boat trip could take the better part of twenty-four , and the subsequent journey by road, even if they were in an ambulance, could tack on another one or two, depending on where the hospital was. Elsa’s daily sessions with a physio in her bed were enough to completely exhaust her – Anna couldn’t possibly expect her to manage over a day’s hard travel. Nor was she sure she could manage it without hugging the railing for the entire trip, either.

In the end though, she decided it wasn’t her decision to make.

“Elsa? … Elsa, what do you want to do?”

There was a sniff and a choked sob, before the blonde mumbled her answer. “I wanna go home.”

Anna rested her chin lightly on Elsa’s head, rubbing her back, before looking back at Henning. “… alright. What’s the itinerary?” 


	10. Day Thirty-One

“Day 31, Anna.”

“Day 31. … I can’t believe we’ve been here a month.”

“Me neither. … did you manage to say g'bye to all the nurses?”

“I did. I even saw Dr. Jacobs. She’s sorry she can’t come up and see you, but she did sign this…” Anna handed her a large greetings card, the envelope left open. As Elsa extracted the card, a huge cartoon teddy bear was revealed, with “Good luck!” written in silver above it. Elsa opened it up, and her jaw dropped at the number of messages that she had managed to get from the nurses in the ICU. She recognised a few of the names, but there had clearly been far more people involved in her care than she had been aware of. The messages were not only to Elsa but to Anna as well, most of them praising her seemingly bottomless optimism. A lot of the messages also expressed condolences for the loss of their parents, and both Nurse Thomas and Dr. Jacob’s messages brought tears to Elsa’s eyes.

“Those guys were amazing… I asked Kristoff to pick up some wine and chocolates for them. It’s nowhere near what they deserve, but.” Anna smiled.

“I owe them my life…” Elsa closed the card and let it fall to her lap, letting her gaze stray to the end of the bed. Anna gently took the card from her and put it back in its envelope, before taking her hand.

“And now it’s time to show appreciation for that, by getting the hell outta Dodge. I think that’s how the saying goes.” Anna waited for Elsa’s nod and smile, before moving back to let Kristoff help her from the bed and into the wheelchair. He did so carefully, Elsa’s right arm over his left shoulder, waiting until she got her balance on the floor before lowering her down to the chair. As he let her arm drop and started to straighten up, he felt Elsa’s hand grip hold of his forearm and looked down with concern.

“What… not comfy? I can get a cushion or so-”

“Thank you.” She pulled his arm towards her and as soon as he was close enough, she pulled him into a hug. “For everything.”

Kristoff hugged back after a second or two, smiling. “Hey, don’t mention it. You two are family. Not like, blood related family, though, that would make me dating Anna a bit weird…” Elsa chuckled at Anna’s quiet “Ew.” behind her, and let Kristoff stand up.

“Well then, my ladies. Shall we vacate this popsicle stand, ‘eh?”

“If  _only_  to stop you two from sounding any more Canadian.”

* * *

The journey back to Norway was uneventful, but the fact that it was almost entirely by plane, a mere three weeks after her parents had been killed in an aircraft the same size as the one in which they had flown, had meant Anna was on edge constantly.  She was unable to just pass it off as one of the many normal, run of the mill flights she’d been on over the years, the variances in the procedures aboard the adapted aircraft meant that there was no familiar routine to cling to. Instead of a cabin crew, there were two doctors, one of whom had been forced to give Elsa a light sedative before they’d even reached the gate - she had spotted the small plane from the departure lounge, grabbed hold of the wheels of her chair with surprising strength and refused to let Kristoff move her any closer to the door. In doing so, Anna had been robbed of the one person who would truly understand why she too was so worked up. She’d considered asking the doctors to give  _her_ the same treatment, but didn’t want Kristoff to sit in silence for 8 hours.

The only saving grace on the flight was once again, Elsa’s ability to cheer her sister up without even trying. Or realising.

Midway through the flight, when she had woken up despite the medication, Elsa had started giggling uncontrollably for no apparent reason. When she tried to explain  _why_  to Anna, she had started laughing even harder and it was impossible to tell what had been so funny. Anna had simply watched her sister with a grin on her face, and eventually started laughing herself, which only served to increase Elsa’s giggles. Kristoff had merely sat through the whole thing smirking at the two, and the doctors – who had clearly seen this reaction before – just left them to it. The cabin quietened after about ten minutes, when Elsa finally fell asleep again, and Anna went back to her previous position, leaning against Kristoff’s chest, chuckling softly.

_“… what was all that about?”_

_“I… I have no idea. But it was hilarious.”_

Elsa, much to Anna’s disappointment, had no recollection of the incident when they landed, but when they disembarked from the aircraft and were greeted by the chilly Norwegian air and the sun, low in the sky even in mid afternoon, the plane journey was the last thing on their minds.

The shrill sound of a woman’s voice brought the three out of their reverie, and they looked over to see Gerda and Kai, friends of the Arendelle family for decades, stood behind a safety barrier and waving. Gerda eventually threw caution to the wind and ran past the barrier and reached them just as feet and wheels hit the tarmac.

“My sweet darling girls, you’re home!” She launched herself at them, pulling Anna into a crushing hug, and then turning to Elsa and cupping her face in her hands, and mumbling rushed praise and thanks to the sky before leaning down and almost lifting Elsa from her seat.

“Gerda, put the poor girl down, she still needs to breathe.” Kai shook her head when Gerda didn’t let up, and went to Anna, “Anna, my girl. Welcome home.” He pulled her into a hug, and gave Kristoff a hand shake behind her back. They stayed like that for a minute or so, before he pulled back took her shoulder in his hands, “How are you? Was the flight okay? I’m sorry, but it was the only way we could get you back-”

“Kai, it’s okay. Really. Thank you.” Anna smiled warmly at him. “It’s good to be home.”

“We have a vehicle waiting at the main entrance. We’ve spoken with the doctors at Mork, and they’ve agreed to let you spend the weekend with us before you go to the hospital on Monday. Lord knows you deserve a comfy bed for an few ni-”

“ _Yes_.”

Kristoff chuckled and rubbed her shoulder. “And just think, you said that cot was ‘kinda comfy’ a month ago.”

Kai managed to extract Elsa from Gerda’s clutches and gave the still slightly groggy girl a hug of his own before following one of the runway staff to the main airport building.

Not one of the trio was prepared for the sight that greeted them in the arrivals lounge.

Lining the barrier that that marked the border between international and Norwegian soil, was a sea of red atop a kaleidoscope of blue, red and white. Almost 50 of the trios’ peers had shown up. Those at the front were dangling various signs over the barrier; the first was a sign that read, “velkommen hjem”; next, a snowboard that had been painted to show Elsa’s name amidst the rest of the design; last but not least, there another sign to show, “, Anna og Kristoff!”. A cheer went up when Kai and Gerda walked through the door, Kai pointing a thumb over his shoulder and grinning.

Anna gasped and clapped her hands to her mouth. Kristoff, who was pushing Elsa through the doors came to a slow stop and stared. Elsa stared too, her jaw dropping, before leaning over the arm of her wheelchair in a vain attempt to hide her growing embarrassment at such a show, which quickly became an attempt to hold back tears. It didn’t work.

Kristoff was about to continue pushing the chair round to the front, but the athletes started hurdling over the barrier, ignoring the protests of a lone security guard nearby. They enveloped the three in hugs, still cheering and expressing their joy upon the safe return of their team mates. It was a good ten minutes before everyone had fervently hugged both sisters, Kristoff getting a few hugs of his own and many a slap on the back, before they  _finally_  heeded the requests of the security and took their celebrations outside. In addition to the team, there were a few officials present, some PR representatives from Elsa’s sponsors and some press, who had taken most of their photos during the initial dog pile at the door. There had also been several wellwishers amongst the general public at the airport, but with the expert evasion skills of the ice hockey players amongst the group, Elsa, Anna and Kristoff were quickly steered to a nearby coach.

Anna turned to Kai, “I thought you said you had a  _car_  ready?”

“I think you’ll find I said  _vehicle_. I didn’t specify it’s size.” Kai smirked and got on the coach after Gerda. Anna looked up the stairs… then down at Elsa. Elsa looked did the same.

“Uhm…”

Suddenly, one of the snowboarders crouched down in front of her, his back to her.

“Anders… you don’t have-

“Hop on, missy.” He grinned over his shoulder at her, waving her forward. With a bit of forceful encouragement from Anna, she leaned forward and put her arms around Ander’s neck, before being hoisted up into a piggyback, Anders taking extra care when looping his arm around her right thigh, then wandered up the stairs into the coach. The rest of the team cheered at the sight, and laughed when Anna arrived in much the same fashion, on Kristoff’s back.

* * *

The coach had made it’s way from the airport to Kai and Gerda’s small home, and years of cramped hotel stays served them well as they all made themselves at home in various rooms, breaking out cider, beer - a small selection of which was non-alcoholic so Elsa and the youngest athletes could join in - and ordering enough pizza that it took two men and a small car to deliver it.

Before they tucked into the pizza, they held a minute’s silence for the sister’s lost parents, which touched them to the point they were both in tears before the minute was up. The rest of the evening was a celebration.

“The way the news had reported it, we honestly thought for a while that you’d… y'know.” Benjamin was sat on the floor, as were most of the younger athletes, Elsa and Anna centre-stage on the sofa. Kristoff was flitting about, making sure Kai and Gerda’s house wasn’t turned into a dump, not that the athletes would have allowed it.

“Then they said that you were just in a coma, and we were 'Woo! Coma!’ and then it was like… 'Crap, a coma’s still… pretty damn serious’… but we knew you’d be  _fine_ , because… we knew. And… yeah.”

Elsa smiled, “Thank you Ben. I think.” The boy grinned.

The next question came from Ellen, who was sat next to Ben, “So what happens now? Are you  _out_  out of hospital, or…?”

“Uhm… I’m going to… Mork Rehabiliteringssenter…” Elsa looked to her sister for confirmation, and received a nod, “…on Monday. I guess that’s when I find out what’s next.”

“Until then… let’s not think about hospitals, shall we?” Anna gave them a slightly pleading look, “Let’s just enjoy the fact that we’re back in Norway, and _also_  try and forget that I can no longer buy maple toffee.”

“Oh my god.” Kristoff lowered his beer from his mouth, staring into space, “Not the toffee- hey! I’m being serious, that stuff was incredible.” He frowned slightly at Anna, rubbing his throbbing upper arm with his free hand.

The get together lasted until late afternoon, when Elsa dozed off against Anna’s shoulder and Gerda start ushering everyone out of the house to allow the three to get some sleep. Jet lagged, physically tired and emotional exhausted, the trio were moved to the guest room, Elsa on one bed, Anna and Kristoff on the other. Anna fell asleep the second her head hit the pillow.

It was the best night’s sleep any of them had had in months. 


	11. Kirkegård

It had taken some convincing, but by mid-afternoon the next day, the trio had finally relented to Gerda’s pleas that they didn’t have to do anything, and they were rather enjoying the lazy day. They spent it in the living room, all bundled up on the sofa, watching rubbish television and taking turns napping. Apart from the occasional bathroom break or expedition to the fridge, they had no reason to move.

On Sunday, Kai and Gerda had a reason.

“Come on. We’re going out.” Gerda gently roused Anna from her slumber, smiling warmly.

“W… what?” Anna said, stretching, bleary eyed. “It’s… it’s like… midnight…”

“Actually, it’s 9am. But I can imagine all that nothing yesterday wore you out.” The older woman grinned, “Come on. Up y'get.”

When Gerda left the room, Anna hauled herself out of bed, waking Kristoff in the process and Elsa shortly afterwards. They slowly got themselves ready, wrapping up warm, as Kai had told them to. The couple were being far too cryptic for Anna’s liking, and when she had had enough of trying to work it out in the car, she blurted out, “Where are we going?”

“You mean, where are we now.” Kai pointed out the windscreen, and Anna could clearly see some large wrought iron gates at the end of the driveway they had pulled into, and a sign just before the gates that read, “Kirkegård”.

Anna fell back against the seat with a quiet “Oh.”, as Kai drove slowly through the gates and into the gravel car park.

It was a short walk, but the snowy terrain had meant that Elsa had had to accept another piggyback ride from Kristoff. The small group was completely silent for the duration, until Gerda led them carefully off the beaten track and to a secluded area near a tree.

A small sob had escaped Anna’s lips when they reached their destination, and Elsa had buried her face in Kristoff’s shoulder. There was a single headstone, sticking two feet out of the snow like a small grey glacier. The flat front was inscribed with  _‘Agðar & Iðunn Arendelle, tragisk mistet på sjøen’_, and the date of their death, finished off with a small crocus at the bottom.

Torn between attending the funeral and leaving her barely lucid sister behind, Anna had spent the evening of Day 11 on one end of a video call, watching the funeral on a laptop the nurses had provided, listening to the service through tinny speakers. Kristoff had done what he could, which amounted to little more than holding Anna and muting their end of the call while she cried her heart out against his chest. Anna had been even more upset when she remembered that Elsa had been denied even that small goodbye.

But there in the courtyard, seeing actual tangible evidence that her parents were no longer with them was enough to send Anna to her knees. Gerda made a move towards her, but Kai held her back. Kristoff gently stepped towards the sobbing girl, lowering Elsa down to the ground, who immediately grabbed hold of her younger sister and held her close. The two sat in the snow, alone in their embrace for what seemed like an age, until Gerda couldn’t take it any longer and knelt down next to them, pulling them both close to her, rocking them like she had when they were small children, woken up by a thunderstorm.

The two men stood by, heads bowed. Gerda lifted up her head and gave a small nod to Kai, who opened a dark green bag he had carried through the cemetery, pulling out a bunch of flowers. He crouched next to the three huddled on the ground and held them out in the girls’ direction, speaking in a low voice.

“Here. These are the same flowers that your parents chose for their wedding.“

Elsa bit hard down on her lip and looked at the small but elegant purple bouquet, not trusting herself to speak. Gerda gave them a squeeze before rubbing their backs and gently moving them back up to sitting. “Why don’t you both go and lay them, hmm?”

Anna hiccoughed and looked to Elsa. The older girl held out a shaky hand and took the flowers from Kai, who then helped them to their feet. Slowly, one step at a time, the pair made the final couple of metres distance to the headstone, the older couple and Kristoff staying a respectful distance behind. The sisters sank back down on the ground, and Elsa held the bouquet out for Anna to take hold. Their hands next to each other on the narrow, neatly wrapped stems, they both laid the flowers to rest against the headstone.

“Adjø, mama, papa… vi elsker deg.” 


	12. Mork

Monday morning, Gerda was up bright and early, and had Smørbrød ready and waiting by the time the trio had dragged themselves to the breakfast table. Twice, Kai had to gently nudge Elsa and Anna awake, for whom the previous day had been physically and emotionally draining.

“There’ll be plenty of time for that in the car. And yes, Anna, it’s a car again, not a coach.” Kai smiled, waving away her new favourite question and taking a bite of his sandwich before Anna had even closed her mouth. “It’ll take a few hours to drive there, so eat up, we need to get going soon.”

Gerda packed them lunches and made sure they’d eaten so much they could barely move, before piling them into Kai’s car. “Let me know how it goes, alright?” She gave them all one last hug, having to go to every single door for each one, before waving them off. Anna fell asleep quickly, her forehead leaning against the cold window. Kristoff spoke quietly with Kai, catching up what had happened over the past month, sports and the like. Elsa tried to sleep, but found herself staring out the window, determined to take in as much greenery as she could before she had to stare at four white walls again.

After just under four hours, they pulled into the car park at Mork Rehabiliteringssenter, a large grey building seemingly in the middle of nowhere. As they drove up the incline to the car park, they caught sight of the nearby fjord and the large expanse of mountains surrounding it. It was almost like seeing their home town, without the buildings. Anna woke up as soon as the car engine cut out, “Are we there yet?”

“We’re here.” Kai got out but was beaten to the boot of the car by Kristoff, who pulled out Elsa’s wheelchair and helped her out of the car. Anna stretched once she’d stepped out and looked around, “Woah… this is beautiful. Elsa, if I ever complain about seeing too many trees, you can hit me. After all that concrete in Canada, it’s nice to get back to nature.”

The group presented themselves at the reception desk and sat quietly in the waiting room. Kai used the opportunity to stretch his legs and wandered the small hall, reading some of the testimonials on the walls from previous patients.

After about five minutes, they heard their name called, by a man with a mop of prematurely grey hair, hands dug deep into the pockets of his sweatpants, smiling broadly. He walked over and shook hands with them all and then spoke to Elsa, “Hi. I’m Sven Nielsen, I’m one of the physiotherapists here at Mork. I’m going to be conducting a few tests, a short physical exam, and then I’ll answer any questions you might have afterwards. Sounds good?” Elsa nodded. “Awesome. Do you have any burning questions before we start? Any of you?”

Anna’s hand shot up in the air, “Can I come too? … please?” Anna sheepishly looked down at her sister.

“Sure, if Elsa’s alright with that.” The blonde nodded quickly, and Sven grinned, “Alright, then. Right this way please. Gentlemen, there’s a small canteen at the end of the corridor, bathrooms too. Make yourselves at home.” Sven held a hold out to direct the girls down the corridor, towards an empty examination room. He offered Anna a seat, and then took his own next to a small computer table, tapping on the keyboard to bring some information up, before turning to face them.

“Okay! So. We’ve received all your medical files from Montreal, and I have to say, reading them gave me goosebumps.” He gave the screen a rather troubled look, before turning back to them. “I’m in awe that you’re here so soon after your accident. You’re either very determined or very stubborn, and those two traits can be very useful to me.”

“And if she’s both?” Anna gave Elsa a small smirk, and received a tongue poked out at her in return.

Sven chuckled, “It certainly helps. There are other things that can help the process along, such as the support of your friends and family. And there’s clearly no shortage of sisterly love here.” He smirked, as Elsa raised an eyebrow in Anna’s direction, and Anna’s grin suddenly became the picture of innocence. Sven cleared his throat to catch their attention again.

“Okay. So I’ve received the official report from Montreal, but they’re always very technical and impersonal. So before we do anything, I’d like to get a summary of your physio from you. What you felt worked, what didn’t work, what you hated, anything you wished you’d done, anything you’d like to work on. I’m not just talking about your leg, because I figure walking is fairly high up on your list of desires, right?” Elsa nodded sharply. “Right. I’m talking about _everything_. From… moving yourself to the edge of your bed to writing your name. Anything and everything.” He leaned back in his chair, popped the button on his pen and waited patiently whilst Elsa thought about what he’d asked. She was quiet for some time, until Anna made some small suggestions and it snowballed from there. After half an hour or so, Elsa’s top five included of walking, holding a pen firmly enough to write in the first place, and breaking off a piece of chocolate from a bar. “The important things,” according to Elsa. Sven had already listed “taking care of myself” as a basic necessity.

The next hour was full of pained faces from Elsa and variations of “He shouldn’t be able to bend you that way,” from a morbidly interested Anna, as Sven tested every muscle, joint, tendon and ligament in Elsa’s body, building a picture of her current physical health. Both Elsa and Anna helped him distinguish between childhood, sporting and more recent injuries, resulting in a page covered in scribbles. He then got them to wait in the canteen with Kristoff and Kai, whilst he discussed a treatment plan with a doctor.

“How’d it go?” Kristoff dragged a seat away from the table and put down their packed lunches in front of them.

“People shouldn’t be able to flex that much. I swear he almost turned you inside out at some point.”

“That’s… a bit of an exaggeration, but it was quite… bendy.”

Kai choked on his coffee,  _“Bendy?”_. Elsa merely shrugged, chewing on a bite of apple.

“So what now? Are you done?”

“Nope.“ Anna sat down with a thud, pulled some food towards her, "He’s talking with a doctor, and then we go back in and he’ll tell us what he wants to do.”

“You can come in as well, if you want. He said I’d need a rather… involved support network, so…”

“If you want us in there, Elsa, we’ll be there.” Kai patted her hand and she nodded, before digging into the veritable feast laid out before her.

About twenty minutes later, they had gathered up all their bits and pieces, Kristoff slinging it all back in the carrier bag, before following Sven to a completely different room, a cosier room with more chairs in it than the sterile examination room, clearly designed for conversations with a larger audience.

“Okay. As I said, I’ve been speaking with a couple of our doctors, and we’ve come up with a plan of action. Unfortunately, the fact that you weren’t an active participant for much of your previous physio means that we’re sort of starting from scratch. But, that does mean that I know you’re going to start with good foundations. That make sense?” He saw Elsa’s dejected nod and Anna’s hand move to hold Elsa’s, and paused slightly before continuing.

“It’s been almost a month since your amputation, which means your leg’s still got some ways to go in healing. If all goes smoothly, in about six weeks we can see about getting you fitted for a prosthesis, which means we’ve got six weeks to get you up out of that chair and comfortable on crutches.”

“Six weeks? That sounds like  _forever_ …” Anna’s looked to her sister, who was still quietly absorbing Sven’s prognosis.

“I know it sounds like a long time, but there’s a lot more to it than just picking up some crutches and timing your footsteps. And it’ll fly by, you’ll see. We’ll have to work on your upper body strength. Now, I figured you’d seen a gym before, considering your sporting career- Hey, you may smile at that, but I know several people who don’t know one end of a dumbbell from the other.”

Anna frowned, before she leaned over to whisper in Kristoff’s ear, “But… they look the same…”

“I think that’s the point, Anna.”

_“… oh.”_

Sven continued, “First couple of weeks, I want to work solely on your flexibility and core strength. That’ll give you balance. We can work on your upper body strength  _and_ using crutches at the same time, then that should give you a couple of weeks to get used to using them before we look at prosthetics. How does that sound?”

“… sensible.”

“Now… I like my patients to get stuck into stuff. If you live and breathe something for a while, it starts to become second nature. Which is why - and don’t hate me for saying this - I’d like you to be an inpatient.”

Elsa groaned and rubbed her face with her hands. It seemed her short lived freedom from hospitals was coming to an abrupt end, and she wondered if she should just drown herself in a tin of white paint and antiseptic and save them the bed space. Beside her, Anna was arguing on her sister’s behalf.

“We’ve spent more than enough time in hospital and now that we’re finally back home, you want to coop us up in on again?”

Sven didn’t miss the use of the pronoun “us”, and held his hands up, “Anna, Elsa, hear me out. It took you… what, four hours to get here? So that’s an eight hour round trip, the better part of a  _day_. To couple that with several hours of relatively intense exercise would only tire you both out, physically and mentally, and it would hamper Elsa’s recovery. What I’m suggesting is that you both stay here during the week, Monday to Friday, then you spend the weekend at home, with a couple exercises to do on your own time. Many of the other patients here do the same.”

“That… okay, that actually sounds rather sensible… Elsa?”

Elsa looked at Anna, then her gaze wandered a little before settling on Kai. She couldn’t expect the poor man to spend his entire week chauffeuring her around. If she was an inpatient, he and Gerda would be able to go on with their week as normal… well. Almost as normal. Next, she looked at Kristoff, and then looked between him and Anna. “Would… would Kristoff be able to stay?”

“I’m afraid we can only cater for one additional adult per patient. Anna or Kristoff can be here, but only one at a time.”

“I’m sure Kristoff can manage without me for a few days a week. I can certainly manage without him.”

“Hey..!”

“I’m just teasing.” Anna grinned innocently. “Seriously though, I’m staying.”

“… you sure you want to be cooped up here with just me for company five days a week?” Elsa turned to look at her sister and watched her eyebrow shoot up.

“You sure you wanna ask such a dumb question?”

_“Anna-”_

“Yes,  _Elsa_. I want to stay.”

Elsa looked directly at her sister, checking for any signs that her words merely sprang from a sense of obligation, but found nothing. With a small sigh, she turned back to Sven and nodded. “Inpatient it is.”

“Alright. As you obviously weren’t expecting to stay, I doubt you have anything with you, so we’ll start next Monday. Until then, I’ll just show you a few exercises I’d like you to start doing.”

He talked Elsa through a couple of exercises that she could do pretty much anywhere, making sure she fully understood it before asking Elsa to fill in a few forms with the receptionist at the front desk, and using the opportunity to speak to the others while she was out of earshot.

“Listen. The next few months are going to be hard, and I mean, really hard. Some days she’ll make brilliant progress, other days she’ll stagnate. It happens to everyone. Everyone’s reactions are different too. Some people just get on with it and don’t pay attention to how well they’re doing, they’re just focused on getting to their goals. Others will feel immense pride at hitting a certain milestone and then berate themselves at the tiniest set back. I have a feeling Elsa may fall into the latter category..?” He looked between the three of them for confirmation.

“She can be pretty hard on herself sometimes. I mean, when she was competing, it seemed to sorta… drive her to do better next time. But now…” Kristoff trailed off, unsure how to continue.

“She doesn’t have an outlet,” suggested Sven.

“Right. She uhm… she spends quite a bit of time in her own head as well. She’s a lot quieter than she used to be.” Kristoff felt Anna’s astonished gaze burning into the side of his head, and turned to look at her, “What?”

“You… I… I didn’t notice any of that.” Anna shifted uncomfortably, looking down at the floor.

“Hey, none of that. You’ve had a lot going on. It’s my job to pick up on the the little things. You’ve got all the big stuff.” Kristoff smiled and pulled her closer with one arm, kissing her atop her head.

“Anna… we recommend that all our patients speak to a counsellor, and I’m going to strongly advise Elsa to do the same.” He lowered his voice slightly, tilting his head to the side. “The service is open to family members too. Totally confidential, just… someone to unload on, without worrying about burdening the patient they’re here with.”

“I’ll… I’ll bear that in mind.”

He reached over a small table in the corner and picked up a thick brown envelope. “These are some bits and pieces in here that I’d like you to read before you come back on Monday. There’s a brochure, and a slew of other things, including diagrams of the exercises I showed Elsa. If you have any questions ring the number on the covering letter. Alright?” He held the envelope out to Anna, who held onto it like a lifeline.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. See you on Monday.” He shook their hands and led them back to the waiting area, where Elsa was signing her last form. They said their goodbyes to Sven, handing in Elsa’s paperwork, before piling back into Kai’s car and driving back home.

* * *

The trip home was a quiet one, and Anna wasted no time in opening up the envelope and perusing its contents. She tried to involve Elsa, but when she realised the older girl was just feigning interest, she decided to go through it with her later, on a comfy sofa, with some chocolate to hand. They had the rest of the week to go through it anyway.

Gerda appeared at the front door, having heard the rumble of car tyres on the driveway and ushered them all in to get warm, before starting on dinner. Whilst it was cooking, she joined the group in the living room, and sat next to Kai, who had started looking through the envelope himself. “What’s all this?”

“The physio at Mork gave it to us. This brochure’s very detailed, very thorough. Much like he was.” Kai looked over the rim of his reading glasses, looking rather impressed.

“And how did everything go with him?.” Gerda turned her attention to Elsa and Anna, who were sipping hot chocolate. Anna gave her sister a nudge.

“Oh, it… it went fine, I guess. He was very thorough.” She buried her nose back into the large mug, sipping slowly.

Anna looked at Gerda’s curious face and decided to expand a little, “The medical exam took forever. But he has a treatment plan all worked out, he even listed like, week-by-week goals in there.” She pointed at the paper fanned out on the coffee table. “They all seem really achievable, too. Right, Elsa?” She gave her sister another nudge and got a non-committal nod in response.

Kai took his glasses off and looked over at them. “We’re going to have to buy you any of the things on this list you don’t already have. Though I imagine you’re both up to your necks in tracksuits, so I don’t think you’ll need any more of them. We’ll just need to pick them up.”

The suggestion that they would need to return to their own home made both Anna and Elsa look up from their mugs with slightly worried faces. With all that had been going on in recent weeks, they hadn’t really given any thought to their creature comforts, waiting for them back in their bedrooms. Nor had they thought about the fact that they would be returning to an empty house, with no one to greet them.

The older couple seemed to pick up on the hesitance, and Gerda spoke first, “Why don’t… Kai and I pick up your things? You can write a list of anything you’d like us to get for you.”

“And if they list half their bedrooms, just let me know and I’ll come and help. Girls and packing, you know how it-” Kristoff’s last word was muffled as Anna’s cushion flew across the room and hit him in the face. Gerda merely chuckled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Many_ a Google search was conducted trying to find the most appropriate medical facilities to set the story in, and it gets _hella_ difficult when you have to work with broken translations from Norwegian. :P Suffice to say, Mork Rehabiliteringssenter is a real facility.
> 
> As an additional note, there may be a slight delay in posting the next few chapters - I have a few things to iron out first.


	13. Souvenir Side Effects

Monday came around quickly. After three trips to the Arendelle family home, Kai, Gerda and Kristoff had managed to pick up the list of things the sisters had given them. Elsa’s list was far shorter than her sister’s and Gerda had taken it upon herself to pick up some extra home comforts on top of the basics she had asked for, so as to give her enough things to leave at their house and the rehabilitation centre. Anna’s list had had to be trimmed down, and Kristoff had returned twice more to pick up a few odds and ends that she practically begged him to get.

Kristoff had also suggested that if they were going to be spending a week in yet another hospital, they have some fun before they got there. Borrowing Kai’s car, he had driven them into town. Their first stop, causing Anna to squeal in delight and Elsa to grin, had been an ice cream parlour.

“Marie!” Anna had almost run into the door in her excitement, and barely remembered to hold the door open for Elsa and Kristoff before she ran up to the counter. The owner of the parlour, a middle aged woman with her grey hair wrapped up in a bun and dressed clothes so bright they were almost luminescent, turned at the familiar outburst.

“Anna! How are you!” She immediately dropped the ice cream scoops in her hands, walked around to the front of the counter and pulled her into a bear hug. “My goodness, I heard about your parents, I am so sorry, Anna. How are you holding up? Where’s your sister?”

“Hi, Marie.” Elsa gave her a little wave as the woman turned in the direction of the voice, biting her lip self-consciously when Marie let out a gasp and clasped her hands over her mouth.

“Elsa, my goodness… what… what happened?”

“I uhm… I had an accident. Snowboarding.”

The next few minutes were a blur, a combination of sympathy for the loss of their parents, shock at Elsa’s injury, repeated requests to see if there was anything should could do to help, and mumbled cursing at, “The dangers young people put themselves in nowadays, it’s ridiculous..!”, which culminated in the three sat at a table with humongous portions of their favourite ice cream in front of them, and soda to wash it down with.

“… well, that happened.” Kristoff was sat bolt upright in his chair, a spoon in one hand, his drink in the other, having been placed there by Marie. He looked at Elsa, sat at the end of the table, who was in much the same position. Anna had already begun shovelling ice cream into her mouth, and it was only when she let out a cry of “Aah! Brain freeze!” that the two shook themselves out of their stunned state and started eating.

“If it’s alright with you two… I think it might be an idea to limit your regular haunts to one a day.” Elsa shut her eyes briefly, her reaction screaming relief at Kristoff’s suggestion. Figuring he’d done right, he continued, “I’m sorry. I didn’t think about what people would do when they saw… what happened, y'know.”

Anna swallowed her mouth full of ice cream and clenched her jaw momentarily against the freezing cold, “God, I didn’t think of it either… Elsa, I’m-”

“It’s okay, really… it was bound to happen.” Elsa smiled wanly and put her ice cream laden spoon in her mouth, letting the mint chocolate dessert melt on her tongue before swallowing.

They sat in companionable silence for a while, every so often a friend or acquaintance might enter the shop, or pass by and see them inside, wandering in and welcoming them back home, plying them with sympathy and regret before leaving them alone again. Even people they didn’t personally know, but had obviously known their parents would come over and do the same. Both Anna and Elsa were willing to leave their ice creams unfinished to leave, and Kristoff was more than happy to oblige.

“That… was weird.” Kristoff turned the key in the ignition and pulled away, looking at the pair in the rear view mirror.

“Weird? That was creepy. I didn’t even know half of those old guys that came up. Did you?” Anna looked towards her sister.

Elsa shrugged slightly, “One or two of them, from… years ago. But not many. It’s amazing how many people start crawling out of the woodwork at a time like this.”

“… I sort of wish they wouldn’t.” Anna fell quiet, and Elsa reached over and took her hand, giving it a squeeze.

* * *

“Call if you need anything, alright?” Anna and Elsa were wishing Gerda, Kai and Kristoff goodbye as they stood in front of the entrance to Mork. The older woman pulled them both into a hug and squeezed tightly. “Call if you don’t need anything. Call any time.”

“Gerda… Gerda!” Elsa smiled at she pulled back. “We’ll see you on Friday.” Kai gave them both a hug as well, and after hugging Kristoff, Elsa took herself inside so he could say goodbye to Anna.

“Don’t have too much fun without me, you hear?” Kristoff held her hands, resting his forehead against hers. “And I expect numerous selfies and out of focus pictures of animals whilst you’re here.”

“With pleasure.” Anna grinned, wrapping her arms around his waist, pulling herself closer and kissing him. “And I expect a least a text in return.”

“With pleasure.” Kristoff kissed her again, lifting her slightly into the air and chuckling as she squeaked. “Take care. I’ll see you Saturday.” He took her hands again, slowly moving backwards. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Kristoff and Anna’s hands finally fell apart, and he paused for a moment, before turning to walk back to the car where Kai and Gerda were waiting. He’d been by her side constantly for almost two months, and to be spending time away from her, even if only for a few days – felt like the hardest thing in the world.

In the lobby, just as the car pulled off, Anna felt a vibration in her pocket. Pulling out her phone, she opened the message she had just received.

_Missing you already._

“Aww… you big softie.” She chuckled, sending him a quick promise that she would call him later, before jogging over to catch up with Elsa, who had just been greeted by Sven.

“Heey, Anna. How are you?”

“Good! Ready to get going.”

Sven chuckled, “Awesome. Then let me show you where you can leave all your stuff and we’ll get started, shall we?”

* * *

The first day was gruelling. Sven hadn’t been exaggerating when he said he liked to get ‘stuck in’, and by late afternoon Elsa was totally drained. Anna wasn’t faring any better, as she had committed herself to putting herself through everything her sister was being made to do, and two months of sitting in chairs hadn’t helped her fitness levels any.

“I never want to do exercise again. Core strengthening? More like core torture.”

“You don’t have to do  _any_ , Anna. … fine.” Anna swapped her deadpan 'Don’t try and talk me out of this’ look for a smile.

“It’s no wonder Sven looks like something from a modelling magazine. Maybe I should get Kristoff to start doing a few more boards or whatever they were called.” Elsa raised an eyebrow, but just shook her head at Anna’s dreamy look, tucking into her lunch.

“I reserve the right to tease you for crushing on my physio.”

“Nuh uh. Too hairy.“ Elsa choked slightly on her drink, "He’s more of a reindeer man than Kristoff. And did you see the beanie in the corner of the room? Antlers.” Anna passed another napkin over to her sister to mop up the soda she’d spluttered onto the table. “Anyway, how much longer is Sven going to torture us for?”

Elsa held up two fingers, causing Anna to groan. “But,” Elsa started, trying to contain her giggles, coughing up the soda that has gone down the wrong way, “I th- thought about maybe goin’- going outside for a bit.”

Elsa found herself talking to the top of Anna’s head, the younger girl resting her forehead on the table, holding a cold bottle of soda to her neck, her red braids and bangs spread over the table like a fiery octopus. The sight made Elsa giggle harder. “Fine. I’ll sit in your lap and you can wheel us there. I don’t think I can take much more.”

When she found herself dozing off, Anna sat back in her chair again, blowing renegade bangs from her eyes. “I think I saw some trails leading off into the forest, perhaps we can go for a walk? If you’re up to it, I mean. And if my legs haven’t fallen off by the end of today. Ooh, I should call Kristoff as well… I suppose I can do that when we get back, I mean at least we don’t have to worry about timezones anymore, and he won’t eat dinner until… late…” Anna trailed off when she realised Elsa hadn’t cut off her rambling, and was instead staring blankly down at the table. Anna raised an eyebrow, “Hey, going out was your suggestion, I’m just trying to make it a bit more scenic.”

Anna’s look morphed into one of concern when Elsa didn’t respond. She leaned forwards on the table and waved a hand in Elsa’s face. “Elsa? … Elsa, this isn’t funny.  _Elsa._ ” She stood up from her chair and rushed around the table, crouching beside Elsa, shaking her arm gently. “Elsa, c’mon, snap out of it.  _Elsa!_ ”

Anna breathed a sigh of relief when, after a few moments, Elsa blinked. “Sounds like a goo- Anna?” Elsa jumped when she felt a gentle pat on her arm, and snapped round to look at her sister. “… how did you get there?”

“You… Elsa, you stopped talking. You stopped everything. For like, five minutes. You don’t remember?”

“Nnoo… No, you were talking about going outside, and then you started talking about Kristoff and… then you were there.”

Anna narrowed her eyes at Elsa, trying to ascertain whether or not she was telling the truth. Quickly, she stood up and pulled Elsa’s chair from the table. “C’mon, we’re going to see Sven.”

“Anna, I’m  _fine_.”

“And  _I_  want a second opinion.”

* * *

“I believe you had a seizure.”

Elsa’s eyes snapped up from the multi-coloured bow tie that had kept her distracted whilst the doctor made his notes, and she stared at him from across the desk. “… wait, what?”

Anna looked equally as confused. “But… I thought that came with like… twitchiness and spasms and stuff.”

The doctor leaned back in his chair with a creak, his elbows on the armrests, his fingers templed just below his chin. “Some do. There are several types of seizure. The one everyone immediately thinks about is a tonic-clonic seizure. That presents with arching of the back, limb shaking and so on. No, from what your sister has described, I believe you had an absence seizure. It’s more common in children and teenagers, but I wouldn’t be surprised if your head injury precipitated this.” He paused for a moment, allowing the sisters to digest what he had said, before pushing himself in his chair across the room to a small machine. “I’d like to perform an EEG. If it is an absence seizure, there’s a fairly simple way to provoke one.”

“How?” Elsa cocked her head at him, curiosity winning over worry.

The doctor indicated for Elsa to sit with him, and as he started fiddling with the various wires, he casually explained, “I’ll need you to hyperventilate.”

“Woah!” Anna sat bolt upright in her chair, “Hyperventilate? But that’s dangerous, right?”  _At least Kristoff is always telling me not to…_

“In an uncontrolled environment, it can be. Here, Elsa will be fine.” He stood up from his chair and walked around to stand behind Elsa, “You’ll have to wear this.”

The quiet in the room was broken when Anna laughed at the cap on Elsa’s head. “Oh wow, Elsa.”

“It looks ridiculous, doesn’t it.”

“Oh I don’t know, I’m sure wire hair is in fashion somewhere.” She continued to grin as the doctor performed a short series of calibration tests, before getting down to the actual exam.

“Okay, Elsa, I need you to take deep breaths, and blow hard enough to make this handkerchief move.” The doctor held up a brightly coloured cloth several inches from her face, and Elsa bit down on her lip to hide how utterly ridiculous this was. Anna was not so restrained, doubled over in her chair, silently giggling.

Elsa followed the doctor’s instructions, trying not to laugh at Anna’s antics in the background. Anna stopped laughing the instant she noticed Elsa’s face slacken, her eyes rolling slightly before she stared blankly as if in a trance. Anna got up from her chair and walked over, her voice shaky, “Els’? … Elsa?” She crouched down in front of her sister, taking her hands.

“Anna, is this what happened earlier?”

“Yeah… is… is she okay? I mean… is this hurting her or- or messing with her head? Can I do something?”

The doctor conducted a few tests, most concerning of which was checking Elsa was still breathing. “Talk to her. It may help her regain consciousness a little faster.”

His attention was drawn back to the EEG machine, and Anna shuffled as close as she could without sitting in Elsa’s lap, lowering her voice, talking solely to her sister. She couldn’t help but bite her lip at the feeling of deja vu. “Elsa? Elsa… you’re gonna be okay. Just… you can’t do this too often, I don’t have Kristoff to talk to all the time now.” Anna chuckled nervously, giving Elsa’s hand a squeeze. “C’mon… c’mon Els’, snap out of it… please…”

It felt like hours passed to Anna - in reality it was mere seconds - before Elsa suddenly blinked, and started breathing deeply again as if nothing had happened. Anna jumped, just about staying upright, “Woah, Elsa! Elsa, it’s okay, you can stop!”

“Huh?”

“You… you can stop, you did the thing, it’s oka- Elsa?” Anna gave her silent sister’s arm a shake, as if she could stop the seizure from taking hold. She looked up at the doctor, her face pleading for his help. Anna had to call his name before he tore his eyes from the EEG machine again.

“Oh, don’t worry. Hyperventilation does tend to bring on more than just the one seizure. The readings I’m seeing are fairly typical of an absence seizure. We can look into different types of medication over the next few weeks and see which works best.”

“What?”

Elsa’s confused voice made Anna swing her head so quickly her braids hit her in the face.  “Hey, you! You… you had another one.”

“I… I did?”

“You don’t remember?”

Elsa shook her head, “I don’t remember anything. You told me I could stop, and then you were talking about meds.” She looked to the doctor with a mix of curiosity and concern. “How… how long was I out?”

“About 35 seconds.”

“Felt like longer…” Anna muttered under her breath, and Elsa squeezed her shoulder gently.

The doctor started helping Elsa take the cap off, “The readings are definitely indicative of absence seizures, but we’ll need to take some more long term readings. Once we work out the frequency and duration of your seizures, and any additional information, then we can discuss medication.”

“So they’re treatable?” Elsa rubbed Anna’s arm, hoping her sister’s natural optimism might latch on to the possibility.

“It depends on a number of things. Normally, once someone’s been seizure free for two years, we would consider weaning them off their medication, but it varies from person to person.”

Anna stared in disbelief - her sister having yet something else to worry about was bad enough.  _First we live day by day in the hospital, to week by week in rehab, and now to think about the years ahead?_  She looked up at Elsa, who was conversing with the doctor about potential triggers to be aware of, things to avoid until it was under control.  _How the hell is she so calm about this?_

“I’ll make a note in your file, Elsa, make sure your physiotherapist is aware. I’ll have a nurse come and see you this evening, so we can set up an overnight EEG monitor.” He ripped off the printout from the EEG machine and walked back over to his table, the sisters trailing behind. “So, do either of you have any questions?”

Both girls opened their mouths to ask a litany of questions, but neither could voice any of them. Elsa was the first to recover, simply saying that they write down any questions they had and would ask at a later time. The doctor agreed, said his goodbyes, and after a blur of motion, Anna found herself outside in the corridor again, stood behind Elsa.

“You know… I think you’re taking this better than I am.”

“Well, you know me. If I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it completely. Why have a head injury without souvenir side effects?” Elsa turned to look up at Anna with a semi-humorous smile, before reaching behind her and patting Anna on the hand. “C'mon, we’ve both got lunches to finish.”

* * *

Despite everything, on Friday afternoon Elsa made good on her offer of playing taxi. And regretted it fairly soon after.

“Oh my  _god_ , Anna.” Elsa groaned dramatically for the umpteenth time on their trip along the scenic trail, both girls looking to wind down ready for the weekend. Anna had stayed true to her word and sat in Elsa’s lap while she pushed them along, and after a week of gym work - even if it was still relatively light - Elsa was feeling the burn.

 _“What?”_  Anna turned to face her, swinging her leg over the arm of the chair, temporarily preventing Elsa from pushing them in a straight line. She swung back around. “I’m not that heavy.”

“Methinks you’ve been sneaking chocolate bars under Sven’s nose.”

“Hey, I’m not the one on a diet. Just because you have to eat carrots and icky green veggies doesn’t mean  _I_  have to be subject to all that healthy stuff.”

“And here I thought you were with me for the long haul.” Elsa grunted slightly, starting to strain under the effort of pushing them along.

Anna swung round again, clasping her hands in front of her chest, turquoise puppy dog eyes gleaming in Elsa’s direction. “I’m sorry, big sister. But you’re going where I can’t follow.”

“Yeah, up a hill.  _Get off_ , Anna.” She smirked, pushing a squealing Anna off her lap and catching the wheels before she rode backwards down the hill. Anna got up and gave Elsa a firm punch to the arm. “Ow! Hey, no fair.”

“Perfectly fair.” Anna stuck her tongue out at her sister, before moving around the back and pushing them up the slight incline. “… carrots might be healthy, but you gotta stop eating so man- heey!” Anna chuckled, batting away Elsa’s hand before it could hit her arm.

“C’mon, faste- not that fast!”

Anna raced up the path, whooping as she reached the top. Breathless, she flopped down on the bench that awaited them, laughing in between gulps of air. “Okay… okay, so… not… quite as… fit as I… thought… I was.” She turned so she was lying on her back on the wooden bench, her breaths calming as she looked upwards at the sky. “Oh wow…”

Elsa shuffled from her chair to the bench, following Anna’s gaze upwards, catching sight of the moon, the low winter sun casting it in an amber hue. Her gaze fell, and the mountains looked as though they were being licked with fire, as the snowy peaks caught and refracted the warm colours of the sunset. The patchy carpet of dark green deciduous trees stretched across the acres below them, the road leading to Mork snaking through the forest, following the curvature of the hills.

“I missed this.” Anna pushed herself up to seating, her breathing calm once more. “Freezing my butt off in the snow, looking at more snow, hoping that it doesn’t snow-” Elsa chuckled at her ramblings, brushing off some of the white powder that Anna’s enthusiastic hand gestures had flicked over her. She grabbed a handful of snow herself and threw it back at her. “Oh my god, you _stinker!_ ” The pair dissolved into giggles, flinging snow at each other, Anna using her sister’s chair as a shield. Both the seat and Anna were covered in snow by the time they’d realised how dark the sky had become, and it was Anna’s small squeal of delight that put an end to their battle. “Elsa, look! The lights!”

Elsa looked up, and she barely had time to frown at the clear, midnight blue sky before she got a face full of snow. “… you are the worst.”

“Guilty as charged.” Anna grinned, wiping the snow off the seat. “C’mon, let’s get back inside. Can’t have you having a cold over the weekend, Gerda would never forgive me.”

Elsa shuffled off the bench and back into the chair, patting her lap. Anna gave her a peculiar look. “What?”

“Hop on.”

“But-”

Elsa’s smile turned into a mischievous grin, before she span herself around to face the hill they had ascended. “What goes up must come down.”

Anna sat herself down again, her knuckles turning slightly white under her grip, “Elsa… are you sure this is a good ide- _aaaah!_ ”


	14. Off The Beaten Track

“Hey.” Kristoff flumped down on the sofa beside Elsa, his hair disheveled, his eyes bleary from sleep. There were no lights on in the room, just a small stream pouring in through slightly parted curtains. “You know you’re supposed to be in bed at this time of the nigh- morning, right?”

Kai and Gerda’s home was fairly small, but open, and during her first week at Mork, the trio had gone to great pains to ensure there were paths throughout the ground floor so Elsa could get herself around. Early on Sunday morning, Elsa had almost succeeded in making her way to the kitchen and living room without waking the house up. Almost. Kristoff had risen when he hadn’t heard Elsa return to bed in their shared spare room, and had found her curled up on the sofa, a small, seemingly untouched glass of water on the table in front of her. Kristoff barely saw her small shrug in response.

“How’re you feeling?”

“… lousy.”

“You spoke to the doc, right? What did he say about the side effects?”

Elsa pushed herself up on the sofa with a quiet groan, “He said nausea was fairly common and any of the meds he could give me would be the same. But it should get better eventually.”

“Well, that’s not so bad. Kinda like with your other meds, right? Only took a few weeks before you were feeling better.”

“I guess.” Elsa rested her head back against the sofa cushions, staring up at the ceiling. “I had hoped I wouldn’t have to feel like throwing up all the time again.”

“Are they working?”

“You tell me. I can’t tell, remember?”

“Well, you always get this bored, glazed over look whenever I talk, so-” Kristoff chuckled when Elsa started protesting, “Okay, okay, stop hitting me with the cushion, you’ll wake up the rest of the house…!”

Elsa hit him one last time for good measure, before putting the cushion back in its position, happy to sit in companionable silence for a while, neither Elsa nor Kristoff desperate to fill the silence. After a few minutes however, the elephant in the room became too big to ignore.

“So… have you told Kai and Gerda about your seizures yet?”

“I don’t know if I can. I don’t want them to worry even more.” She dropped her head with a sigh, playing with the waist tie on her pyjama pants. “It’s nothing anyway. So I space out sometimes. It’s no big deal.”

“The way I see it, if people knew, you could use it as an excuse to zone out during boring conversations. But you know we won’t tell them until you want us to. Anna will have no problems covering for you in the talking department, I’m sure.” Kristoff grinned when Elsa chuckled lightly, happy to take that as a sign that she was feeling better. “I’ll grab you some biscuits and leave you be, alright?”

“Thanks.”

Kristoff pushed himself, stretching slightly, before padding over to the kitchen in bare feet, taking out a pack of plain biscuits and leaving them on the coffee table for Elsa to nibble on. He wished her goodnight, then made his way back to bed, unsurprised to find that Anna hadn’t woken up at all.

* * *

As had become routine, the sisters made their way to the gym at Mork on Monday afternoon, ready to begin another week of torturous exercise. This time however, rather than waiting for them inside, Sven was stood outside the gym, leaning against the wall. He gave them a grin as they came closer, and Anna and Elsa shared a curious frown.

“Hey girls. Good weekend?”

Anna narrowed her eyes at him slightly - she knew that look. It was the look of someone trying to hide something big. “Yeess,” she drawled, coming to a stop just in front of him, resting on the chair’s handles. She caught Elsa’s slightly turn of her head, as if side-eyeing him might help her figure out what was going on. “How was yours…?”

“Mine? Oh, pretty good. Bit of a lazy one this time round; I figure I’m going to need all my energy this week.”

“Is that so…?” Anna was leaning forward so much that she almost threw Elsa into a wheelie. The feeling of her head butting her in the chest made her stand upright again. “And why is that?”

Sven nodded his head to the gym door, indicating they should follow him. “C’mon. I have something to show you.” As he opened the door for them, Elsa glanced up at Anna, who shrugged. The blonde’s curiosity got the better of her, and she moved off, leaving Anna to follow in her wake.

Sven lead them past the main exercise area, heading towards a corner of the gym devoid of any gym equipment, just a bench and several cupboards lining the walls. The sisters came to a stop at the edge of the area, their confusion growing steadily. Elsa looked at the area that up until now, they’d been too busy to notice, and read some of the signs on the cupboard doors. The corner of her mouth quirked upwards, her small smile becoming a beaming grin when Sven opened one of the cupboard doors.

“Crutches!”

“I figure you’ve been tearing around this place in that chair for long enough. Clearly I’ve not given you enough work to keep you occupied.” Sven smirked, pulling a couple of the crutches from the cupboards, leaning them against the bench. He patted the wooden seat, and Elsa all but flung herself from the chair, Anna only just managing to fling her sister’s arm over her shoulder before she fell flat on the floor.

Sven spent a short while sorting out the right crutches for Elsa, before adjusting them and having her test them out. It wasn’t long before Elsa did fall flat on the floor. Thankfully, the area was slightly padded, but that didn’t stop Anna from wincing. She moved towards her sister to help her up, but Elsa held a hand out. “No, it’s okay! I got it. I… uhm… hmm.” Elsa frowned, trying to work a way out of her predicament. After a few moments, she cast a glance at Sven. He simply smirked, folding his arms over his chest.

“Don’t look at me. You got yourself in this mess, you can get yourself out.”

Elsa huffed, before pursing her lips, her brow furrowing. Anna opened her mouth to suggest something, but snapped it shut at Sven’s quiet, “Ah ah!”. A few more moments passed, as Anna watched the cogs whirring in her sister’s mind, before she saw the telltale signs of a lightbulb moment. Her sister’s deep frown changed to something akin to childlike wonder in an instant, a small grin growing, before she bit her lip in concentration and set to work hauling herself up, using the grips on the crutches for leverage. Elsa got to her feet with a triumphant grin, before Anna ran the short distance between them and enveloped her in a crushing hug, their grins turning to squeals as her momentum sent them both crashing back to the floor. Anna hurriedly pushed herself back up, and was about to make sure Elsa wasn’t hurt when she heard giggling. She looked down to see her sister red-faced, the euphoria of her afternoon’s achievement clearly evident.

“Sorry, Els’.”

“You… you are the worst!” Elsa’s giggles slowly calmed, and she lay on the matting trying to calm her breathing. Anna sat back on her haunches, waiting patiently with an apologetic look on her face, but grinning all the same. She took Elsa’s extended hand and helped her up, Sven passing her the crutches that had flown from reach.

“See? This is why I needed a lazy weekend.” He smirked at the pair, who merely looked at him innocently. He rolled his eyes, chuckling. “C’mon. Let’s get to work.”

* * *

“Anna, wait up!” Elsa was moving as fast as she could behind the redhead, who was almost running along the previously inaccessible path. Anna had been desperate to explore beyond the smooth trails that Elsa’s chair had limited her to, but despite Elsa’s encouragement had refused to simply wander off without her sister. One week of practice under her belt and Elsa had told Anna to pick a direction.

Elsa had assured Anna that she could make the journey - the forest wasn’t that thick after all, the snow had stopped falling, and she agreed to call upon Anna if she needed help. Besides, after three weeks of seeing the same scenery, as beautiful as it was, Elsa was going stir crazy. In Canada, it had been different; she had been confined, either physically unable to go anywhere or simply not allowed. At Mork, it was expected that patients went out and about. Just… maybe not this far off the beaten track.

“Sven’s going to kill us if he finds out…” Elsa mumbled, yanking her crutch from in between some tree roots, before looking up to see which direction Anna had ran off in. She was nowhere to be seen. Frowning, Elsa continued ahead, calling her name and receiving no response. She stopped, listening out for any sounds that might elude to her sister’s whereabouts. “Anna? … Anna, I’m not playing hide and seek, c’mon.” Turning carefully on the spot, she looked behind her, losing her bearings as a consequence.

Elsa swore sharply, before starting to call Anna’s name again. She fell silent when she heard a pained noise in response.

_Anna._

Quickly - or as quickly as she could manage without toppling - Elsa followed the noise and barely stopped herself from sliding on a patch of snow and tumbling down the same small hill Anna had. “Anna! Anna, are you okay?”

“So here’s a thing; snow’s quite slippery.”

_“Anna-”_

“Yeah… no. I think I twisted my an- ow! Yeah… yeah, it’s twisted.”

“Hold on! I’ll… uhm… damn.” She looked around, unsure of what she could do. She couldn’t make her way down the hill without being hurt herself, nor could she remember the way back to the centre to fetch someone. She felt helpless.

“Elsa… Elsa!” Anna lobbed a small pebble at her sister, dragging her from her brooding. “Elsa, throw me a cr-  _‘sa_. Elsa, come on, come back to me, I need your help here.”

Elsa blinked, looking down at her sister, before lowering herself onto the snow, carefully dropping the crutch down the few metres to Anna. She watched as Anna hauled herself in much the same way she had done in the gym earlier than afternoon, before gingerly making her way up the hill, clambering up the side of the hill and sitting next to Elsa. “I wonder if I can borrow a couple of these from the gym… Elsa? Elsa, are you okay?”

Elsa’s eyes snapped to her sister, before she quickly adopted a neutral expression. It didn’t fool Anna for a second, but she had no chance to call her on it. “I’m fine. C’mon, we need to get you back to the centre. No doubt they can help you out.”

Elsa pushed herself to standing, before awkwardly helping Anna up. Equipped with the directional sense of a homing pigeon, Anna lead them out of the quickly darkening forest, and on the path back to Mork.

* * *

_“You_  what?! _”_

Anna had to hold the phone a short distance from her ear at Kristoff’s exclamation. She carefully returned it to her ear, her voice innocent, “It’s just a sprain.”

She could almost hear the facepalm through the phone line.  _“It’s a wonder you’re still in one piece, I swear…”_

“We were just having fun-”

_“You could have seriously hurt yourself. You could’ve broken your leg-”_

She let out a short bark of laughter. “Oh, don’t overreact, Kristoff-”

_“Or what if Elsa had had a seizure or something and hurt herself? Then you’d_ both  _of been screwed.”_

“She’s been on her meds for like, a week now. And she said she was okay-”

_“Of course she said she was okay. ‘I’m fine’ is her catchphrase.”_

“I know… I-” There was a short pause, as Anna ran out of ways to defend her position. She slumped against the head of her bed; Elsa was in the bathroom, the running water providing a cover for Anna and Kristoff’s conversation. “I guess I was hoping it was true this time. She’s been so much happier this week.” Anna shifted slightly in the bed, moving the ice pack one of the nurses had provided Elsa.  “You should’ve seen when she got given crutches; I’ve not seen her that happy in months…”

There was a pregnant pause, before Kristoff filled the silence. _“Anna?”_

Anna sighed heavily, her tiredness increasing her exasperation. “I don’t know… she definitely seemed happy earlier today, but… when we were walking back from the forest, she seemed… scared? I don’t know. And then she kinda shut down.“

There was a short period of science as Kristoff contemplated Anna’s remark,  _“Hmm… she still speaks to a therapist, right?”_

“Yeah, and he’s not said anything, but it’s all confidential, so… anyway, maybe it was just the shock of it all.”

_“Maybe. You’ve still got Friday to go. A day of torture with Sven might do her good.”_

Anna groaned, “Oh boy, he’s going to kill me when he finds out what happened…”

_“I might turn up a day early to help him out.”_


	15. Happy Birthday, Elsa

Anna hit the button on her phone to silence her alarm, before peering into the darkness and over to the other side of the room.  _She’s still asleep. Thank goodness._  Anna moved as stealthily as she could, convinced that all her and poise was saved throughout the year for this sole occasion - Elsa’s birthday.

Quietly, she got ready and crept outside, heading towards the kitchen. As per usual, Gerda & Kai were already awake and getting ready for the day. Gerda pulled her head from the fridge and visibly started when she turned and saw the newest visitor to the kitchen.

“Anna!” She put the butter on the counter top and walked over, putting a hand to the redhead’s forehead, “What are you doing up? Is everything alright?”

Anna chuckled and removed her hand from her face, giving it a quick squeeze. “Yes Gerda, I’m fine. Don’t worry, it’s not the end of the world, I just wanted to get up early today.”

“I think you’re more excited about your sister’s birthday than she is.” Kai smirked, lowering his morning paper and laying it down on the table. “I trust you’ve managed not to wake her up? Somehow?” He gave her a playful grin, and Anna nodded proudly.

“She was awake at like, 2am or something. Right now, I don’t think she’d wake up if a bomb went off in there.” Anna slowly moved around to the area in which Gerda was preparing frokost, and picked up a few slices of bread. “I figured I could help with breakfast? If you don’t mind having me in your kitchen of course…” She grinned innocently at Gerda, who shook her head. 

“Of course not, dear. Are you going to eat now or later?” Anna hummed slightly before deciding on the latter, but set about making some tea to offset the early rise. Without getting underfoot, Anna helped the older woman make frokost, and insisted on making multekrem, one of Elsa’s favourites.

A couple of hours later, Anna’s restlessness got the better of her, and she crept back in the spare bedroom and over to Elsa’s bed. She tapped her sister lightly on the shoulder, whispering quietly, “Elsa. Elsa. Wake up.”

Unsurprisingly, her quiet voice did nothing to rouse the sleeping blonde. Anna felt slightly guilty for attempting to wake her up from such a deep sleep, but the smells from the kitchen convinced her she was doing the right thing.

Anna gave Elsa’s shoulder a shake, her voice slightly louder this time, “Wake up, wake up, wake up!”

Elsa grumbled in her sleep, trying to swat away the annoyance. A little more shaking, and her eyes fluttered open briefly.

“Happy birthday.”

Elsa sighed slightly, closing her eyes once more and burrowing into the blankets, her voice muffled, “To you…”

“No, silly. It’s your birthday!” Anna chuckled, lifting up the cover and revealing her sister’s face. Elsa was on the brink of falling asleep again, and Anna decided enough was enough.  _She can nap later._

“C’mon, birthday girl. Up, up, up!” Anna tugged the cover down to Elsa’s waist, taking her hands and pulling her up to seated. Elsa finally opened her eyes, yawning widely before looking at her sister with bleary eyes. After a few moments, and a lazy rub of her eyes, Elsa finally woke up fully.

“Anna?”

“Happy birthday, Elsa.” Anna smiled warmly, patiently waiting for her to look at the clock by the bed, her confused face morphing into one of shock.

“Oh wow… I totally forgot.”

“Well, we didn’t.” Anna jumped off Elsa’s bed, almost falling to the floor. She flumped onto her stomach, dangling over the edge of her own bed and tugging something out from underneath it. The morning’s grace and poise forgotten, Anna fell onto Elsa’s bed once more with a small box, wrapped in blue paper, a white ribbon and bow for decoration. “I got you something.”

“Anna-”

“Nuh uh. No, ‘you didn’t have to’s or anything like that.” Anna thrust the present into Elsa’s hands, making sure she had a good hold before letting go. She watched as Elsa tugged the ribbon undone, and began ripping open the paper.

“I know you’ve been having trouble getting to sleep, so… I thought this might help.” Anna took the ribbon and paper shreds away, tossing them to the side as Elsa carefully extracted the present from its container - a small music box.

“I think I got the tune right; I don’t remember it as well as you probably do. But I figured it it’s wrong, it can fixed. It’s only a flimsy bit of metal, right?” She took a breath, catching herself mid-ramble, as Elsa was too busy admiring the detailing of the hand carved wood. Each side had a different design based on the four seasons, intricately carved crocuses a common theme throughout all four scenes. There was a hint of Anna every so often, including a small misshapen snowman on one side. 

Slowly, almost unwillingly, Elsa lifted the lid of the box, and the melody began to play - a tune that their mother had sung to lull her young daughters to sleep. After only a few notes, tears sprang to Elsa’s eyes, and she gently closed the lid again.

Anna watched and waited as Elsa sat in silence, thumbing the clasp of the box lid. She couldn’t make out Elsa’s first response, and the blonde quickly realised it had been far too quiet. She lifted her head, and Anna saw a tear succumb to gravity and roll down her face. Elsa had a small, sad smile on her face, quickly mirrored on Anna’s.

“Thank you, Anna. It’s… it’s perfect.”

“You’re welcome. I hope it helps.” Anna gently set the music box on the side table, moving the clock so the box was centre stage. She then shuffled slightly, pulling Elsa into a hug. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

They were still for a minute or so; Anna gave her sister one last squeeze before pulling back. “Now come on. There’s plenty of breakfast in the kitchen, including multekrem. You need any help getting sorted out, or…?” She trailed off, and Elsa shook her head in response. “Alright. Just yell if you need a hand, okay?” She waited for her nod, before slipping off the bed and heading back into the kitchen, leaving Elsa to get ready for the day.

* * *

Half an hour or so after being awoken, Elsa emerged from the bedroom showered and dressed, not a hair out of place, looking like she was planning on strolling down to the shops. Her body language was another story; she moved slowly to the breakfast table, focussing on her path across the floor, before sitting across from Kai. Before he’d even managed to lower his paper, Gerda had walked from her spot in the kitchen and hugged Elsa from behind.

“Happy birthday, dear,” said Gerda, squeezing her arms tightly around Elsa’s shoulder. Just before Elsa thought she might pass out from the lack of air, Gerda straightened up slightly, resting her hands on Elsa’s shoulders, looking down at her. “There’s plenty of food to go around, best eat up before Kristoff gets here and eats us out of house and home.” The older woman patted Elsa’s shoulders, before busying herself in the kitchen once more.

Kai folded his paper, placing it gently on the table. “Happy birthday, Elsa.”

She looked up from the steadily growing number of foodstuffs on the table, smiling slightly at Kai. “Thanks,” Her gaze drifted from him, back towards the food, her left hand wandering slightly, reaching to fiddle with her crutches propped up against the table. She felt Kai’s gaze burning into her forehead, and she dared to look up at him again.

“Everything alright? You don’t seem very… well, excited. It is your birthday after all.”

“No, no, I’m… I’m fine.” She pulled her hands back into her lap, forcing a smile she hoped would look more sincere, “I’m just tired, that’s all. Sorry.”

“No, sweetheart, don’t apologise,” Gerda put yet another plate on the table, rubbing the blonde on the back, “You’ve had a long few weeks. But just think - now you don’t have to worry about having a timetable to stick to!”

The biggest birthday present she had been gifted thus far was from Sven - in view of her steady progress and the looming holiday period, he had discharged Elsa from the rehab centre on the eve of her birthday, with a list of daily exercises and the promise of calls to check on her progress.

Anna had been ecstatic at the prospect of leaving the hospital environment behind, and had Sven in a bear hug in seconds. Elsa had initially been exceedingly grateful, but lying in her own bed during the early hours of Friday morning, she had begun to worry if being at home would be a good thing or a bad thing, how much of an inconvenience she might be to Kai & Gerda, even Kristoff.

_At least Anna can spend time with him now we’re home. I’ll just have to stay out of Kai and Gerda’s way._

_Speaking of…_

“Where’s Anna?”

“Oh, she’s probably on the doorstep.” Gerda chuckled, shaking her head. “She can be such a silly button sometimes.”

Kai simply rolled his eyes, finishing his cup of coffee with a quiet smack of his lips. “If a twisted ankle can’t keep her from running around the house, I don’t think the prospect of hypothermia will put her off waiting for Kristoff in the snow.”

Elsa chuckled around a spoon of multekrem, imagining Anna bouncing around on the doorstep, bundled up in her green jacket, hat and scarf, ready to run down the street at the first sight of Kristoff. After a few minutes, Gerda had had enough, directing Kai to drag her in kicking and screaming if need be.

Thankfully, it wasn’t necessary, as the door opened and revealed Anna wearing Kristoff’s hat atop her own, her cheeks and nose red, and her grin enormous. “Look who’s here!”

“Hey everyone,” Kristoff waved at the trio, steering Anna into the house, dragging his huge rucksack behind him. He ruffled the snow from his hair before entering the house proper, carefully arranging his belongings on a mat by the door, the snow slowly melting and dripping onto the floor. “Sorry for the mess-”

“Oh, don’t be silly Kristoff, in you come. Have you had breakfast yet- lunch, rather?” He shook his head, divesting himself of his winter jacket, revealing a rather cosy looking red hooded jumper, emblazoned with a small Norwegian flag and "SØK OG REDNING” written underneath in bold white lettering, as well as across his broad shoulders, more white detailing trailing down his arms. He dropped his boots beside his bag, to avoid traipsing snow throughout the house, and took a seat next to Elsa. Not before giving her a hug though.

“Happy birthday, Snow Queen.” He ruffled her hair slightly, despite her attempts to swat him away. “How’re you?”

“Fine,” Elsa grumbled, smoothing her hair back into place. She couldn’t stay angry with Kristoff for long, swatting at him once more to try and wipe the boyish grin off his face. It didn’t work.

“What? Was just a question.” His smirk faltered slightly when her own smile faded. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, I’m just tired. That’s all.” He was silent for a moment, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Honestly.”

He leaned back in the chair, still scrutinising her answer, but dropping the subject in favour of a sandwich, giving her a small nod. Anna sat down in Kristoff’s lap, bringing the conversation to a definite end. “So when are you heading into work?”

“In a few hours or so. First weekend shift.” He clapped his hands, rubbing them briskly.

“Nervous?”

“Nah, excited. I think I’m past the “prank the new guy” stage. Should be fun.” Kristoff grinned, the enthusiasm evident on his face. “I’ll take a few photos. Weather should be pretty good too! Not that I’ll be able to play about, but.” He rubbed Anna’s back gently, chuckling lightly. “You girls got any plans?”

He looked between Anna and Elsa, who had turned to look at each other with blank faces. Elsa shrugged, her gaze dropping from her sister’s. Anna sat in silence for a few more moments, before she broke the silence, “Well, we normally go out for dinner on our birthdays. Maybe we could go out later? Take Kai and Gerda along with us-”

“To take care of the bill?” Kai’s eyes appeared from over the seemingly endless morning paper, a knowing smirk crinkling the corners of his eyes. Kristoff jumped; he hadn’t even realised he was there.

“And to enjoy yourselves, of course…” Anna’s cheeks reddened slightly, feeling like a small child caught her hand in the cookie jar, as she twisted the end of her ponytail around her fingers. “You will come right? We could go to… uhm… that burger place! We went there a couple years ago, remember?” Anna nudged Elsa slightly in the arm, but caught the slightly nervous look in her eyes. “Or… or… uhm… there’s that fancy Italian place- no, wait. I broke a vase last time we went there.”

Kristoff scoffed, his eyebrow climbing, “You broke a vase?”

“Shush, you,” Anna poked him hard in the chest, ignoring his grunt of discomfort, “Well, do you have any ideas?”

“I’m not eating out-”

“You might still have an idea!” Anna continued bickering with Kristoff, ideas bouncing back and forth between the pair, the restaurants becoming more and more extravagant as their conversation - particularly Anna’s half of it - grew louder and more animated.

Kai finally dropped the paper to the table with a thud. “Seeing as we’re going to be the ones paying for this,” he began, waving a hand between himself and Gerda, “and considering the fact that it’s not your birthday for another few months,” he turned to the blonde at the other end of the table, who had almost faded completely into the background, “Elsa? Where would you like to go?”

Elsa’s head snapped up, continuing to wring her hands under the table. “I… I don’t mind.”

“You must have some preference…” Gerda leaned on the back of the chair as Kai leaned forward in his own. Anna turned on Kristoff’s lap, both of them waiting for her sister’s answer.

“Not really… no.” She heard a small but exasperated sigh from Kai, and quickly cast a glance over the four of them. “I… burgers are fine.”

Gerda tilted her head slightly, “Are you sure?” Barely a beat after Elsa’s nod, Kai dropped his hands to the table, pushing his chair back.

“Burgers it is. Decide between yourselves when you want to go.” He smiled briefly, before putting his paper in the recycling and walking from the room. Gerda rubbed Elsa’s shoulder slightly, before putting a plate in front of Kristoff so he could fetch himself some breakfast. Anna slipped off his lap, and sat on the table next to Elsa.

“So… maybe if we get there for about 4pm? I know it’s early, but we’ll miss the dinner rush.” Anna waited for Elsa’s small nod and smiled, “Gives you time to have another nap if you want to. Oh, and did you do your exercises yet? You know Sven will never forgive me if you don’t.”

Elsa let out a small chuckle, looking down at her fingers intertwined in her lap, “I know… I’ll go do them now. Go spend time with Kristoff before he goes to work.”

Anna didn’t need much convincing, hopping off the table and heading towards the blonde man in the kitchen. She did a double take, wandering back to check her sister’s response - Elsa had already left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay with this one; this chapter fought me tooth and nail. I have the outline for the next chapter, so hopefully it shall'nt be as long next time! :3


	16. Normality; Rare.

Kai drove slowly through the city streets, trying to find a parking space. Gerda scoured the opposite side of the road, her excited gasps normally trailing off into, “No, wait… just a small car.”

Anna’s stomach grumbled once more, followed closely by an even louder groan, “Can we just park in a side street? There were loads of spaces back there!” She swung her hand to the rear window, almost clobbering her sister in the process.

“I’m looking for a space nearer the restaurant so Els-  _we_ don’t have to walk as far.” Kai’s eyes flicked upwards to look at Anna in the rear view mirror, before the car jerked again at another exclamation from Gerda.

“Kai,” Elsa began, raising her voice over Anna’s grumbles, “It’s not that far. I’m sure we can manage.” She smiled at him, catching his eyes in the mirror briefly, before she heard his sigh. He began worming his way through the streets, parking up in a few inches of snow, before the engine fell silent. One by one, they emerged from the warm and  _oh so cosy_  environment of the car into the freezing cold street.

Even though they were in the heart of the town centre, tall buildings lining the streets and blocking any view of the mountains that lay but a few miles away, the winter weather still made its presence felt. A cold wind zipped down the main road, carrying with it a light dusting of snow that melted as soon as it hit the salted tarmac, the flakes catching the multitude of colours from the annual Christmas displays and decorations . Lacking the cleaning technology of the larger cities, or the heated streets of the biggest, people walked slowly along the pavement, steering well clear of the street furniture littering their path. Cars lined the main road, differing thicknesses of snow resting atop each one, the occasional clean patch where someone had gathered ammo for an impromptu snowball fight.

Elsa swung her legs around to get out of the car, pushing herself up from the seat before steadying herself on the car door. Just as she had settled on her crutches, Anna appeared alongside her, tugging her royal blue beanie down further over her ears. She lowered her voice conspiratorially, a warm smile on her face, “Gerda would never forgive you if you caught a cold right before Christmas. You wouldn’t be able to taste her  _amazing_ gravy.”

The blonde chuckled, rearranging her coat slightly, shrugging her heavy parka back into place, before moving aside so Anna could close the car door. Carefully, the group their way to the restaurant, heads buried so deeply in collars and scarves in an attempt to contain the warmth from the car that conversation was impossible. As they entered the restaurant, the heat hit them like a brick wall. Slinking in between tables, they took their seats, quickly divesting themselves of their padded jackets, hat and scarves. All of them let out varying sighs of relief, Anna’s being the most dramatic before she stopped mid-complaint and watched one of the servers carrying some food over to another table.

“That. Looks.  _Amazing._ ” Anna swallowed, eyes wide as she caught sight of another plate, “Oh my- Elsa. Elsa,  _look_.” The eager redhead nudged her sister, who raised her head from its resting place against the booth wall and followed her gaze. “I want that. No, wait. I want  _that_. …or maybe that. Ooh, how about-”

“How about we look at the menu instead of staring at people while they eat, huh?” Elsa smirked slightly, pushing one of the slim booklets in between them. Anna grabbed the booklet hungrily, scanning the pages for something to satisfy her ever growing appetite, before putting it back to on the table between them so Elsa could choose too. Kai and Gerda did the same, before calling someone over to take their order.

As they slowly settled in to their seats, there was a hint of awkwardness lingering in the air, followed by silent sighs of relief from Elsa and Kai, as Gerda enquired as to how Kristoff was enjoying his job. True to form, Anna grabbed the topic by the horns, happily relaying how her boyfriend was doing in his new, off-season job.

At the end of every competition season, Kristoff would swap his job as team technician for whatever else took his fancy, from babysitting, to shop work. For the second year in a row, he had managed to get work with a search and rescue team, working along the more advanced public slopes. After years of training runs with the Norwegian team, and fun runs with Elsa and Anna, his knowledge of the terrain and the risks were second-to-none, and he was a valuable addition to the team - and the job was a valuable addition to his bank account.

Anna would hang on his every word when he came back from his shifts, listening to his brave tales of mini-avalanches and herding small children back to their parents. Using salt and pepper shakers, napkins and some crayons acquired from a bemused waiter, the tabletop became a story book, as Anna relayed those stories to them almost word for word, action for action.

Thankfully, Kai and Gerda hadn’t heard the stories before, and were distracted enough that they didn’t notice Elsa’s occasional inattentiveness. Anna would snake one hand under the table, giving her older sister’s hand a squeeze when each seizure came to an end, whilst the other became even more animated, almost knocking over several condiments in the process.

Only the smell of curly fries was enough to put an end to Anna’s ramblings, her attention immediately drawn to the huge burger on the plate put in front of her. Kai looked at his serving with a raised eyebrow, “If I’d known, I wouldn’t have eaten all week…”

“Certainly seems as though the American theme runs through more than just the décor…” Gerda gave the older man a slightly concerned look before gently placing her napkin in her lap. Looking up towards the two girls, Anna had already stuff a handful of fries in her mouth, and Elsa was wrinkling her nose up at her sister’s choice.

“Blue cheese. In a burger.”

“Fho?” The redhead slowly pulled out the oversized cocktail stick that was holding the contents in place, before flattening the burger with her hand. She finally swallowed her fries when Elsa’s look didn’t change. “You don’t know what you’re missing. Seriously.”

“An upset stomach?”

Anna harrumphed, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. Turning to her sister, she took a huge bite from her burger, blue cheese and all, before happily sighing through her nose. Elsa merely stuck out her tongue, before piercing one of Anna’s curly fries on her fork and eating it with a smirk.

“Now girls, behave,” Kai chuckled, looking between the grown women in front of him acting like a couple of five year olds. “Or no dessert.” Both Elsa and Anna immediately turned back to their own plates, valiantly working their way through their meals.

The conversation quietened momentarily, as the group dug in. Anna couldn’t stay quiet for long however, and continued her previous story. The paper table cloth was slowly becoming a mess of lines, arrows, hastily scrawled mountain tops and stick men. In order to identify him, Kristoff’s stick man would always have a cartoon face to match the tone.

“And then he had to make a snow anchor- and I’m sure he’s lying about what a snow anchor is, I mean to be able to keep yourself in place over a cliff using only snow? Snow’s not  _that_ sturdy, I mean, half the time it’s barely not-fluffy enough to make snowballs! … though I suppose it does tend to harden after a little while… or at least it settles properly and become dense, I guess… where was I going with this?”

“Kristoff made a snow anchor,” Gerda provided helpfully, dabbing at upturned lips with her napkin. She glanced over at Elsa, who would have normally piped up with a detailed explanation about the formation of snow and why a snow anchor probably was  _actually_ a thing, but instead she was studying Anna’s drawings rather intently. She was about to comment when she saw Kai shifting in her peripheral vision. “Everything alright?”

Kai got up, brushing himself off and putting his napkin on the table, “Fine, fine. I’m just… going to the uhm…  _bathroom_.” If there was anything odd about the way that Kai had spoken, Gerda said nothing, merely nodded and asked Anna to continue with her story.

A few minutes later, Kai returned to his seat, giving Gerda a nod. This time, Anna caught on. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, dear.”

“Then why are you both acting weird?” Anna gave her sister a nudge, and Elsa looked up sharply from the table. “Aren’t they acting weird? They’re up to something, I know it.”

Elsa shrugged with a slight shake of her head, “I didn’t notice anything.” Anna grumbled a little at her sister’s inattention, and began reeling off an explanation as to what Elsa hadn’t noticed.

What Elsa  _did_ notice however, was the trio of waiters and waitresses coming their way, wearing party hats and carrying a rather large cupcake with a candle stuck in the top. She shook Anna to silence, and barely heard her exclamation of “I knew you were up to something!” as the trio reached the edge of the table. Kai and Gerda merely grinned at her.

There was a short blast from a party horn before the singing began. With every enthusiastic - and thankfully tuneful - note, Elsa turned a deeper shade of red, shrinking slightly into the chair. Anna, Gerda and Kai had joined in by the second “Happy Birthday to you!”, and Elsa just wanted to slide underneath the table and crawl away. By the end of the third line, Elsa’s embarrassment evaporated, replaced with a far more unpleasant feeling.

Anna’s voice had also become conspicuously absent, as she became uncharacteristically silent. She watched as the cupcake was placed in front of Elsa during the final line of the song, and was unable to bring herself to join in with the applause from not only the trio of waiters, but also from surrounding tables as well. Slowly the noise died down, customers went back to their own meals, the trio went back to their regular routine. Still, Elsa hadn’t moved. “Elsa,” she said quietly, so as not to startle her, “Elsa. That candle won’t blow itself out, y’know.”

Carefully, Anna took Elsa’s hand under the table, and gave it a small squeeze. Elsa reacted instantly, the tension in her body finally making itself apparent. She blinked, and some of the tears that had welled up made their escape. Biting down hard on her bottom lip, Elsa sat up slightly, readying herself to blow out the dwindling flame on the candle, but as she pursed her lips to exhale, all she managed was one shuddering breath, barely enough to make the candle flicker. She inhaled deeply again, but rather than make another attempt, she held it in, suddenly pushing herself back from the table and grabbing her crutches before they slid to the floor.

Kai frowned, looking to Gerda, as Elsa got up. Gerda’s look was purely one of concern, “Elsa? Elsa, sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just… I…” The sentence was left unfinished as Elsa made her way to the bathroom at the back of the restaurant. Immediately, Anna made moves to follow.

“Guys, I’m… I’m sorry, I’ll go get her back.”

“Did we do something-”

“We were just trying-”

“No! No, this dinner’s been great. The cake was great, it’s all been wonderful, she just… let me go talk to her. You’ve not done anything wrong, I promise.” Anna smiled sincerely, but sadly, before weaving her way through the tables after Elsa. Gerda watched after her, before turning back to Kai.

Kai merely sighed, leaned back in his chair and watched as the small stub of a candle extinguished itself.

* * *

“Elsa? Elsa, let me in please?”

Smiling awkwardly at customers walking by, Anna stood outside the disabled bathroom, leaning against the doorframe, waiting for the red indicator to turn green. Inside, she could hear Elsa’s quiet sniffling, her hiccoughs and shaking breathing.

Anna looked down at the handle, and at the lock itself. She could let herself in. She could grab a knife from an unattended table and open the lock herself.  _No. She has to_ want  _me in there._  “Elsa, please. … I know it was wrong. Everything about it was wrong. Not that they weren’t good singers, but… it wasn’t how _they_ used to sing it. Not to mention the cake wasn’t a chocolate cake, I mean, who has plain sponge cake for their birthday, that’s just-”

Anna stopped her rambling immediately when she heard the  _click!_  of the lock being turned. After a moment, she pushed on the handle and slowly opened the door. “Els’?”

As her head rounded the door, she saw her sister against one wall of the thankfully large room, hugging her leg, her face red from crying, her eyes glassy and unfocused. Anna slipped in and locked the door behind her, before walking over and sitting next to Elsa.

It was several moments before Elsa spoke, her voice sounding congested and nasal. “It’s not their fault… I- I didn’t mean to leave like that, I just- I n- needed to get away.”

“Kai and Gerda won’t mind. They’re just concerned, that’s all.”

“It- it was all wrong. Th-they should be here. They should be here singing that with you, n- not… not…” Elsa trailed off again, burying her face in her arms, the sobbing beginning again in earnest. Anna’s eyes began to burn as her own tears threatened to surface, but she screwed them up and forced it back. Instead she scooted closer, wrapping her arms around Elsa, pulling her in close.

“ _Maybe_ … maybe we can teach Kai and Gerda how to do the proper harmonies, huh? And to say ‘snowflake’ for you, and ‘button’ for me. Although can you imagine the look on Kai’s face? Saying button? He’d be so confused.” As her sister’s sobs began to quieten once more, Anna decided she was on the right track. She deepened her voice in a very loose imitation of their male guardian and continued, “‘Button? Why are you a button? You don’t look like a button.’ He’d be so confused. And! And, ‘You can’t be a button! Buttons don’t talk as much as you!’” Anna chuckled, glad that Elsa’s quiet sniffles were also slowing. “At least as a nickname, your’s makes sense. Mine sounds like Mama was obsessed with sewing or something.”

As Elsa began to relax slightly in her arms, Anna gave her a squeeze. “Why don’t we head home and you can beat me making puzzles with some hot chocolate, huh? That always cheers you up, you massively competitive person, y- don’t shake your head, you know I’m right. You’re even worse nowadays, with no one else to take it out on apart from me or Kristoff.” Elsa shook ever so slightly with a chuckle, and Anna considered her task complete. Carefully, the pair got up from the floor, made themselves presentable once more and heading back to the table. Apologies were made, excuses were given, and shortly after, the group headed back home, cupcake in hand.

* * *

One by one, the group trudged back into the house, trailing snow into the small hallway. Anna hung her jacket up rather haphazardly, paying more attention to her nightly phone call with Kristoff than where the peg was. When Kai had helped Gerda from her coat, she bent down to pick Anna’s off, brushing snow from the shoulders. She looked over to Elsa, who was leaning against the wall. “Need a hand, dear?”

Elsa shook her head, belatedly tagging on a “Thank you,” before making her way through the hallway and towards her room. The door was closed behind her before Gerda could catch up, and Kai walked up behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Leave her be for a bit. She’ll cheer up.”

So as not to disturb Anna on the couch, Gerda led Kai to the kitchen, putting the kettle on, and lowering her voice, “Are you sure? She’s been like this since she got back home. She seems happy one minute, then in tears the next.”

“We knew today was going to be difficult for both of them. Christmas will be even worse. Just… give them their space, be there for them if they need it.”

“I don’t know… I don’t like them trying to handle this on their own. Neither of them has spoken to us about Idunn or Agdar.” Gerda looked towards the corridor leading to the downstairs bedroom, before flicking off the kettle and taking a defiant breath in. “I’m going to go and talk to her. She can’t hide in there forever.”

“Gerda, don’t go making things worse-” Kai sighed when she simply ignored him, walking right up to the bedroom door as if she were going to take on the world. By the time she’d reached the door however, her air of defiance had dissipated somewhat, and her fist hovered above the door for a few moments before she actually knocked.

“Elsa? Elsa, my dear, may I come in?” Rather than wait for a response, she opened the door and popped her head in. She saw Elsa sat on her bed, reading by the light of her table lamp. She looked up from the book and gave Gerda a flicker of a smile, before looking back down at the page.

The older woman walked in, leaving the door ajar, and wandered over to sit on the edge of Elsa’s bed. She tilted her head slightly, to try and read the title of the book, “Ah,  _The Ice Palace._  It’s been a long time since I last read that. How far along are you?”

Elsa sighed, dog-earing the page and causing Gerda to cringe ever so slightly. “I’ve read the first line about twenty times. I… I can’t concentrate on it.” She put the book on the bedside table, and took to staring into her lap instead.

“Well, you can’t just sleep your birthday evening away. Is there anything you’d like to do? Watch a film, perhaps?”

“Anna and I were going to play some games. I thought I’d wait here until she was off the phone.” Elsa clasped her hands together in her lap, refusing to look up. Gerda watched her for a moment; the girl who used to be able to surpass her younger sister’s enthusiasm and energy had been replaced by a girl who only did things because she was expected to, not because she enjoyed it. She sounded as though she was waiting to play games with Anna because it was what was done, otherwise Gerda was sure she would’ve gone to bed and stayed there until her sister dragged her up the following morning.

Gerda was dragged from her observations by Elsa’s quiet voice, “I’m sorry about earlier.”

“Sorry? Whatever for?”

“Dinner. You arranged it and I ruined it.”

“Ruined-” Gerda sighed, reaching for one of Elsa’s hands, but settled for putting a hand on her leg when Elsa wrapped her arms around her waist instead. “My dear, you didn’t ruin anything. If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me and Kai. You looked to be enjoying yourself, we thought the cake would be a nice way to round off the evening.” She shifted further up the bed, and used a gentle finger under the chin to tilt Elsa’s head up. Her blue eyes were shimmering in the low light, and Gerda sighed quietly at the now all too familiar sight. “Sweetheart, you didn’t ruin dinner. Don’t blame yourself.”

“… but it’s my fault.”

“Elsa-”

Elsa’s eyes immediately flicked to Gerda, the intensity in her eyes never before seen by the older woman. “Not just dinner,” she spat. “Everything.”

As Gerda’s hand dropped slightly, and a confused frown began to grow, Elsa elaborated, “It’s all my fault. All of it. If I hadn’t been so obsessed about a sport I didn’t represent, then they’d still be here. Mama and Papa wouldn’t be lost at sea somewhere because I wasn’t able to do something simple!” As Elsa’s explanation became more emotionally charged, tears began falling down her face, and her throat began to tighten, making talking and simply  _breathing_ a thousand times harder.

With every request made for Elsa to calm down, Gerda watched the younger girl get more and more frustrated, shoving herself up the bed to try and isolate herself as best she could. The tears were flowing in earnest now, and Gerda could only make out a few things amidst her sobs. She not only blamed herself for her parents’ deaths, but for everything that had come after: the upheaval of Anna and Kristoff’s lives as they had sat with her in hospital; the amount of doctors’, physios’ and nurses’ time she had ‘wasted’; the burden she had placed on Kai and Gerda with her living with them… eventually her list trailed into nothing, as her sobs grew so hard it looked to physically hurt.

Gerda opened her mouth to try and console her, but knew that nothing she said would matter right now, if Elsa heard it at all. Instead, she pulled Elsa away from her position curled up at the top of the bed, and into her arms, rocking her slightly and stroking her hair, as she had done during thunderstorms or after a nightmare when the girls were much, much younger. With every harsh cry of “It’s all my fault,” from Elsa, Gerda would simply reply with a soothing contradiction, determined to break the mantra she had created for herself.

Suddenly, Elsa fell completely silent, her ragged breathing evening out almost instantly. Hopeful that her reassurances had finally gotten through, Gerda released Elsa from her grasp, turning her head to face her. “Believe me, Elsa. Everythi- … Elsa?”

The older woman’s eyes widened, becoming more fearful as she tapped a slackened Elsa on the cheek and got no response. Just as she turned her head to yell for Kai, Anna came to her side. “Gerda! It’s okay… She’ll be okay in a minute.”

“Anna, get Kai, we need to get her to a hosp-”

“Gerda!” Anna sat with her on the bed, smiling slightly, her voice taking on the same reassuring tone Gerda had used before. “Trust me. She’ll be okay in a minute.”

“How do you know that?”

“This… “ Anna took a deep breath in, looking apologetically at her sister, “This has happened before. It’s a result of her accident. They’re called absence seizures - it’s sorta like she’s on pause. I’ve noticed it tends to happen when she’s out of breath, or… upset, or anxious… which to be honest, is her all the time right now,  _but_ ,” Anna rested her head on Gerda’s other shoulder, watching her sister’s face for any signs she was coming around, “She’ll be okay.”

“Why didn’t you  _tell_ us? We’re here to help you.” Try as she might, Gerda couldn’t bring herself to sound angry, merely exasperated. “You’re both as bad as each other, and worse than your parents. Too independent for their own good sometimes. Especially your father.”

“Mama’s not- … she wasn’t that bad though, right?”

“No. But she supported your father in everything he did. And if that meant dealing with things himself, then so be it. I remember many an argument between your father and Kai about it.”

“Arguments?” Anna’s head shot up, her brow in a deep frown, “Nooo. Not between those two.”

Gerda chuckled, “Oh yes. Two bulls in a china shop sometimes. But they enjoyed it. Arguing, that is. Afterwards, they’d be laughing and joking, drinking, no matter who won. If ei-” Gerda stopped short when Elsa came round, still shaky and upset, but quieter than before. She continued stroking her hair, choosing not to discuss the situation until later on. “If either of them did.”

Anna nodded slightly, giving Elsa’s hand a squeeze while she got her bearings. Upon realising what had happened, Elsa scrunched her eyes up tight and groaned quietly, causing Gerda to pull them both in closer.

“Your father and Kai were both rather brash when they got together. Even when you were little, Anna, you seemed to feed off that and turn your own volume up a notch or two.” She gave Anna a slight squeeze, kissing her atop her head. “Your sister on the other hand would stay at the sidelines and watch with your mother. It used to make me laugh every time their eye rolls coincided.”

“Do you miss them?”

Gerda wasn’t sure which of the sisters had posed the question, so made sure that both would hear the answer, “I do miss them. But they’re not gone, really. I see them both in each of you. In how you act, how you talk, how you  _sound_ … and wherever they are now, I know they’d both be proud of each of you and how far you’ve come. You’ve been through so much and you’re still both smiling. But Kai and I are here for you, should you need us.” She felt Kai’s hand upon her back, a silent show of support as she cradled the two girls as if they were her own.

“We love you both, and your parents loved you more than anything in the world. Remember that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any critique would be fantastic, as I uploaded immediately after writing it, before I overthought it and started tearing it apart. Normally I would say I’ll try to get the next chapter up soon, but as you may have noticed, that tends not to make much of a difference. All I can say is thank you for waiting, and I hope you enjoy.


	17. Christmas

To someone unaccustomed to a Norwegian winter, it looked more like two in the morning than two in the afternoon. The sun was brushing the horizon, the atmosphere glowing several shades of amber and rose, the freshly fallen snow a glistening white, with the slightest hint of blue, untouched by traffic, animals, and all but one pedestrian.

Wrapped in a deep purple padded jacket, matching trousers, thick lined boots, and topped off with a matching wooly hat and scarf gifted to her by her younger sister that very morning, Elsa was slowly - but not very surely - making her way down the street, walking along the road that had been cleared and gritted the night before. Still, there were patches of black ice, small hills of snow lining the edge of the road, and it would have been tricky to make the journey on two feet, let alone one. With only her crutches to steady her, Elsa kept on, her mind blinkered to all but her destination.

Home.

The street looked nothing like it had when she’d last made this journey, cycling the last mile back of her training regime for the day, trying to outrun one of their neighbour’s huskies and losing by the skin of her teeth.

Or before that, when Anna had forced Kristoff to give her a piggyback ride down the street and he had carried them  _both_ at least a hundred feet before Elsa ordered him to put her down. He hadn’t.

Or  _long_ before they’d met Kristoff, when Anna barely came up to her mother’s waist and Elsa wasn’t much taller. Nevertheless, older sister had carried a sobbing little sister after she had tripped up and chipped a tooth on the curb.

Instead, the street looked cold, empty and  _far_ too long.

Still nowhere near the halfway mark, Elsa didn’t so much as glance back at whence she came. She knew looking back might lead to turning back, and she could not allow herself to partake in Jul celebrations when there was absolutely nothing to celebrate.

And if that meant she lost a bit more of herself to the cold, so be it.

Step by step, hop by hop, she made her way past houses filled with families spending their morning together. Occasionally she heard excited chatter through an open kitchen window, or coming from a back garden, as mothers, fathers and children played with new toys, or with the snow, making snowmen, having snowball fights.

It was a pastime neither she nor her sister had ever been told to outgrow. Agdar and Elsa both let their competitive streak run riot, Anna and Idunn helping where they could to make the tallest snowman in return for extra helpings of krumkake. Whether parents or children won, Agdar would always give his share to Idunn and Anna would always get a bit of Elsa’s.

_“Only a bit, Anna!” Elsa’s twelve year old eyes watched with slight horror as Anna’s fork crept further and further up the dessert, ready to delve in and separate her part from Elsa’s._

_“This is only a bit!” Anna grinned even more, looking over at her older sister with large blue-green eyes, freckles dotting her nose and tiny red braids swishing about, making her look even cuter than Elsa was sure was allowed. There had to be a rule against it._

_“Now, you two, don’t fight,” Idunn looked over, dabbing at the side of her mouth with a napkin, “Anna you haven’t even finished your own piece yet.”_

_“I’ll save you some, Anna,” Elsa said, slowly pulling her plate back towards herself and away from Anna’s fork._

_“You promise?”_

_“I promise.” Elsa watched as Anna sat back down on her chair, happily munching her way through her own piece of krumkake. She loved Gerda’s krumkake. But she didn’t want to upset her sister either, and now she had made a promise to share. She ate slowly, savouring the flavour, but that meant by the time her sister had finished, there was a lot more left over. A lot more for Anna to eye up._

_Elsa felt Anna’s eyes boring into her and looked over. Taking one last big bite of the coveted dessert, she pushed the plate across the table towards her sister, who squealed with glee before stuffing her face again, spluttering a “fank ‘ou, Elwsa!” with her mouth full._

_She watched as crumb by crumb, Anna hoovered up what was left of the dessert, as if someone were going to take it away any moment. A small nudge of her arm made her look over and up at her mother, who was holding a fork out for her. A loaded fork._

_“I think I need some help finishing mine off, and Anna’s a little… busy.” She winked at Elsa, warm blue eyes looking down at excited ones, crinkling in the corners at the size of the young girl’s grin. “Here you go, snowflake.”_

_Snowflake…_  the word sounded foreign in her own mind. It sounded… wrong, somehow. As if she wasn’t remembering it correctly. Elsa ground to a halt, terrified that she could be forgetting her mother’s voice already. The more she tried to remember, the more distorted it became, the more distant…

Soon her mother’s voice was replaced with the sound of her heart pounding in her ears, her breathing becoming faster and more shallow. She clamped her eyes shut, trying desperately to focus on something else and found the tingling sensation in her hands, the slow numbing of her fingers. She focused on her left index finger, picturing it in her mind’s eye as the fingertip stopped tingling and became completely numb, the sensation slowly working its way up towards her second knuckle. She imagined that her finger was fading away along with the sensation, her hand disappearing into nothingness as it was swallowed by the cold.

A shudder brought her around and she squinted at the brightness of her surroundings, everything looking slightly bluer than before. She looked along the road, in the direction she had been travelling, and caught sight of her destination. Flexing her fingers slightly, she tried to tighten her grip on her crutches as best she could, before continuing down the road, hop by hop, step by step.

* * *

The journey lasted several more minutes - or was it hours? The houses were naught but a blur, until habit finally brought Elsa to a standstill, her cold hand shaking as she raised the key towards the lock. She closed her eyes briefly at the sound of the squeak as the tumblers aligned; her father still hadn’t gotten around to it.

She pushed the door open, coughing slightly at the dust that was kicked up by the gust of cold air nipping at Elsa’s heels. In one swift movement, she threw her keys to the small table by the coat rack, pulled her hat off and pushed the door closed, before making her way to the bottom step of the stairs, making sure not to leave the matted area in the hallway. Her mother would kill her if she trod snow through the house.

Boot off, coat off, scarf off, she made her way to the living room, rustling a few errant snowflakes from her braid. Glancing around, it was obvious no one was home - the TV was off, there were no sounds coming from the study above. The only signs of life were the empty coffee mugs left on the coffee table, and a paper opened to the puzzle section, a half filled crossword visible. She glanced at the handwriting - her mother’s. She only resorted to crosswords when she had truly run out of things to do.

Elsa grabbed the mugs and took them to the kitchen, which - unsurprisingly - was spotless. A quick stop off at the fridge for no reason in particular, she made her way back down the corridor and to the stairs, passing the small cupboard underneath, wide open and rifled through.

As her head came level with the floor above, Elsa peered through the balustrades along the hallway. The study door was closed, as per usual. Anna’s door was ajar; the younger girl never had the door closed.

Climbing the remaining steps, the first door Elsa came to was her own, normally closed in a vain attempt to keep Anna’s antics at bay - she was sure her younger sister never learned what doors were  _actually_ for. Pushing the door open, she watched as particles of dust danced around the room, visible in the last remnants of daylight streaming through the gap in the curtains. She gave the room a cursory glance around, and noticed that a few items were missing; a book or two here, an item of clothing there, her hairbrush; all things that had found their way to Kai and Gerda’s house. The rest of the room was near enough as she had left it; her laptop was closed, her wall calendar was still showing October. Had it really been that long since she’d been in this room, in this house?

She made her way over to the desk, running a hand over the lid of the laptop to brush away some of the dust, watching as it simply settled elsewhere on the table. Carefully shifting her weight, she reached behind the table and grabbed the calendar from the noticeboard, flipping its pages to reveal December’s cartoon scene: several cartoon animals having a snowball fight.

She hung the calendar once more and glanced to her right. She was greeted by the shelves her father had put up solely to showcase her achievements, something she had initially protested out of pure embarrassment. Littering the shelves were certificates, medals and trophies accumulated over almost a lifetime of winter sports, everything from Olympic golds to ‘1st place - Under 5s’. Leaning a crutch up against the wall, she carefully picked one of the trophies up from the shelf, commemorating her first ever national competition win, and the race that had kick started her career.

She remembered just how proud her parents had been after another coach had approached them, congratulating Elsa before clamping his hands around her father’s and seemingly refusing to let go. The coach had swung round from her parents to an eight year old Elsa, almost sending Agdar toppling over, before toning down the wild gesticulation and excited speech and eagerly explaining just why she should consider international competition and just how cool it would be and could she just direct that massive grin to her parents to show them how much she liked the idea?

Anna had grown just as excited as Elsa as the coach had begun talking, bouncing around slightly as she held her mother’s hand, stage whispering to Elsa to say yes to ‘Mr. Bald Coach Man’. How could she not, after her sister was so sure she could do it? She’d torn her eyes from Anna, looked back at the-

… ceiling?

Elsa blinked, taking a few seconds to figure out what had happened. The throbbing pain in the back of her head gave her a fair idea, and she pushed herself to seated with a groan, shuffling to lean against the nearby bed. Grateful that she’d not fallen  _into_ the bed, and taking a moment to curse at her seemingly useless medication, she across the floor and saw the trophy she had held moments ago, in pieces on the floor.

Her shoulders sank as she looked at the brittle metal figure on the floor, separated from its base. She should’ve left it on the shelf. Looking around the room for purchase, she decided to leave everything alone. She’d only break things.

Twisting herself around and pulling herself up onto the end of her bed, she caught sight of something resting against the pillow; something she had treasured for years - a handmade doll of her younger sister. Elsa never took her travelling, lest she lose her. Besides, she had the real thing. Instead, little Anna would sit upon the pillow, ready to welcome big Elsa back.

Elsa scooted up the bed, and carefully brushing away one of the braids, looking into the turquoise button eyes, she briefly wondered if little Elsa was in Anna’s room; she certainly hadn’t seen it at Kai and Gerda’s. Without thought, she took hold of the doll by the arm and pulled her into her lap, before stopping herself short. She immediately put little Anna back against the pillow, noticing how faded the colours of the materials were, how frayed the braids had become, how dull the buttons had become….

Elsa scrambled to the end of the bed and to the floor as quickly as she could, grabbing her crutches and running from the room. She leaned against the nearest wall and slid to the floor, staring blankly at the opposite wall, sick to her stomach. She had done to little Anna what she had done to the real one - drained the life and exuberance from her, dulling the brightness of her eyes.

Forcing herself to ignore the feelings of nausea, she pushed herself up from the floor and made her way to Anna’s room, making her way inside. Carefully stepping aside the ‘organised chaos’, Elsa made her way towards Anna’s desk, piled high with books, papers and the occasional chocolate box. Perched on top of a pile of papers and what looked like brochures was little Elsa, long braid drooping onto the table.

Elsa picked up her likeness, doing her best not to disturb Anna’s paperwork, but her gaze was caught by the header image on what looked to be a letter, the logo at the top that of Oslo University.

She frowned, turning the paper slightly and looking more closely at the contents, only to realise that the letter was a letter detailing Anna’s acceptance onto a teaching course that was due to start in January. The orientation was barely two weeks away. Why hadn’t Anna said anything?

Glancing to the top of the letter, Elsa found her answer. Anna had received the letter just prior to their trip to Canada in October and, being the selfless one, wouldn’t have mentioned it to Elsa until they were home, or at the very least, until the sporting element of their trip was over, so as not to distract Elsa from doing her job.

Elsa’s jaw clenched, her fingers tightening around the crutches and doll in her hands. Anna should be preparing for one of the biggest adventures of her life. A teacher. Anna was going to be a  _teacher_. Elsa wasn’t at all surprised. Her younger sister was fantastic around children, no matter their age. If Anna wasn’t with Kristoff, she was with the kids in their street, teaching the younger ones how to ski as soon as the snow was thick enough, powering her way through the streets with two or three of them stood on the back of her skis.

In her element.  _Happy._

Elsa moved the letter back into place, but jostled another slip of paper in the process, loosening it from the wadge of papers and letting it drop to the desk. She picked it up, intending to put it back where it belonged but she stopped dead upon reading the first line.

~~_call Oslo uni - transfer to september course?_ ~~

Frowning deeply, Elsa sat down heavily on Anna’s chair, taking the letter in both hands. Why would she put off her dream job? Her heart sank and her chest tightened as realisation kicked in, the next few scribbled lines confirming Elsa’s suspicions.

_more balance exercises to help Elsa before prosthetic appt._ ~~late dec?~~  Jan. 10th!!  
 ~~kristoff working next weekend - date night?~~  Elsa having nightmares - move to daytime  
reply to OU re: september application w/ “proof of hardship”??  
 ~~get punzie’s new number~~  
no exercise over xmas!!! (work it off afterwards with els)  
therapy changed to thursdays @3pm after xmas  
 ~~reschedule pharmacy time~~  OK to pick up meds after 3pm Thursdays

Elsa dropped her hands to her lap, staring down at the floor. Anna had rearranged everything, her entire  _life_ for her. She was rearranging her University course because of her. Anna was rearranging her dates with Kristoff because her older sister couldn’t manage a good night’s sleep. Anna was running around dealing with loose ends because Elsa  _couldn’t_.

Unsure of how much time had passed, the sound of a door opening downstairs dragged Elsa from her brooding. A concerned voice travelled up the stairs - that of her younger sister calling her name. Carefully, she folded the paper in her hand and pocketed it, before gathering her crutches and the reason she entered her sister’s room in the first place.

She pushed herself from the chair, making her way out to the hallway just as her sister rounded the corner. The corridor was dark - what little light had been available when Elsa had shown up had long since moved on. She flinched as the bright ceiling lamp came to life, followed by the thundering footsteps of boots on the stairs.

“Elsa! Elsa, are you he- Elsa!” Anna’s face was flushed, her hat askew on her head, her braids looking even more wild than usual. She let out a sigh of relief before covering the distance between them, the carpet darkening in her wake as melted snow dripped from her jacket. “Elsa, we’ve been worried sick! What the hell did you think you-… Elsa?”

Anna’s look of anger with a hint of disappointment melted away, leaving only concern at the fact Elsa hadn’t said a word - or moved for that matter. “Elsa? Are you okay?” Receiving nothing more than a miniscule nod, Anna pressed on, “Why are you here?”

She rested a hand on Elsa’s arm, making the older girl shift away slightly, before holding up the small doll for Anna to take. Elsa’s likeness - or rather, what Elsa used to look like. Happy, bright eyed.  _Whole_.

“Here,” Elsa let go of the doll as soon as Anna had a hold, avoiding her gaze, “I uhm… I thought you might want this. Not entirely accurate now…”

Elsa’s voice trailed off, watching as Anna ran her fingers over the material of the small doll, as if she hadn’t seen it in years.  _Or at least months._

Anna’s fingers hovered over the doll’s right leg, hesitant. Rather than touch it, she looked at Elsa, who was staring at the floor. “Els’, c’mon, let’s… Kai’s outside in the car, we can get home, get warm, have some cocoa, okay?” She put her hand carefully on Elsa’s back and rubbed in soothing circles, trying to get some heat back into her. “I’ll go and let Kai know you’re here. Can’t have him sitting in the snow worrying, can we?” She smiled, patting Elsa’s back gently before jogging down the stairs, the rustling of her jacket and trousers quietening as she made her way outside. Elsa looked back towards the floor, before straightening herself up, and taking a deep breath in… and out.

_Two weeks._


	18. Three's A Crowd

“Kristoff, d’you want a drink or something?” Anna watched the chocolate in the pan begin to melt slowly, the gloriously thick brown substance slowly spreading across the base.

“I dunno, will there be any chocolate left by the time you fill your own mug?” He smirked, wandering over and wrapping his arms around Anna’s waist, resting his chin on her shoulder to observe whatever she found so fascinating.

“Yeah, of course!” A pause. “Maybe. Maybe not if Elsa wants one too.”

Kristoff chuckled, planting a kiss on her temple before heading to the cupboard to fetch a mug, “I would never come between her and her cocoa. You, perhaps. But she’d eyebrow me to death.” He placed the relatively tiny mug next to Anna and Elsa’s favourite bucket sized ones, glancing to the spare room. “Want me to go see if she wants any? She went to have a nap, no sense wasting your precious chocolate if she’s asleep.”

He got nothing more than an “Mhmm hmm,” in response, not that he expected much more at that moment. Anna considered making hot cocoa an art form, and her attention was glued to the stove. He made his way over to the door, gently knocking before opening it as quietly as possible, peering in through the crack towards Elsa’s bed. Elsa’s  _unoccupied_ bed.

Kristoff cocked his head slightly, pushing the door open fully, and glancing around the room. Looking back over his shoulder towards the bathroom, he saw the door was ajar, the light off. Regardless, he knocked gently, before poking his head in, calling Elsa’s name. When there was no reply, he called her sister’s. “Anna? Did you hear Elsa go out?” He walked back to the bedroom, noting that Elsa’s crutches were gone, from the edge of the bed, but her phone was still on the dresser.

Anna turned her head slightly from the stove, “Huh?”

“Elsa’s not here.”

The statement grabbed Anna’s attention fully, and she swiveled around to face him. “What?”

“She’s not-”

“I  _heard_ you, Kristoff.” Anna scowled slightly, turning the knob on the stove, before heading over to the spare room to double check, checking the bathroom on the way. “Where did she go?”

“She didn’t say anything to you?”

Anna shook her head, pursing her lips and propping her hands on her hips. Kristoff shrugged slightly, waving a hand towards the dresser, “Well, she left her phone here, maybe she’s just getting some air?”

Spinning on her heel, Anna disappeared into Kai and Gerda’s room at the back of the house, the occupants having left to spend the afternoon with their long-standing neighbours. Walking through the spotless room and to the window, she pushed the slats of the blinds apart and looked out to the back garden. “She’s not there, Kristoff. What about the front? … Kristoff?”

Kristoff closed the front door behind him, brushing off the flakes of snow that he had tracked back into the house. He met Anna halfway, ruffling his hair to shake out the remaining dust, “She’s not out the front.” He glanced at the coat rack, noting the same thing as Anna. “Well, her coat’s gone, so… if she  _has_ gone out, at least she’s wrapped up.”

“But she wouldn’t hasn’t got her phone! What if she gets stuck somewhere? How’s she gonna get back?” Anna’s voice rose in both volume and pitch, her worry suddenly beginning to grow - her sister was alone, uncontactable, during one of the quietest weeks of the year, in the middle of winter.  _Again_.

“Anna,” Kristoff took her by the upper arms, giving them a lil’ rub, trying to give her a reassuring look, “She’s a big girl, I’m sure she’s okay. Let’s go check to see if she left a note or anything - maybe she’s gone to your house again?”

“Kristoff, she  _promised_ she wouldn’t go back on her own, it’s too far- actually, she said she wouldn’t go back at  _all_ , but.” Anna started back to the spare room, wandering to her own messy bedside table, checking for any message Elsa might have left. Kristoff made his way over to Elsa’s table, reaching down for her phone to see if there were any notifications or alarms on the screen.

“You never know, maybe she’s-”

“… she’s what? Kristoff?” Anna shoved her drawer shut with her knee, looking over to him. Kristoff had crouched down by the side of the bed, and appeared to be turning something over in his hands. As she rounded the end of the bed, she caught sight of two orange pill bottles in his hands, their caps and contents missing. “Kristoff…”

Kristoff shot to his feet, the momentum almost toppling him over, before he moved to the dresser, rummaging through the contents. He began cursing under his breath after a few moments, his searching becoming slightly frantic. Anna edged over, taking hold of the bottles, rolling them over in her fingers. “Kristoff… I only picked up her new prescription a few days ago.”

“I know, I know…” He leaned heavily against the dresser, closing his eyes briefly. “I can’t find the other bottle. The uh… dammit, what  _are_ the other ones?”

Anna’s response was drawn out as she deciphered the name of the drug on the bottle. “These are her… painkillers, and… her seizure meds. So… where are her anti-depre-” The colour drained from her face instantly, as the stuff of nightmares worked its way into the forefront of her mind. “Kristoff…”

He took the bottles from her before she was able to finish her train of thought, unwilling to assume the worst. He pulled the blinds open, glancing out into the front garden, before turning back to Anna. “I’m going to go and find her. The front gate’s still piled high with snow, she can’t have gone too far out the back way.”

He left the room, heading for the front door and shoving his feet into his thick fur lined boots, fighting to pull his jacket from the coat rack. Anna wasn’t far behind, reaching for her boots, before Kristoff took her hands. “No.”

“Wait,  _what?_ ” She glared at him, standing up to her full height, whilst Kristoff was still hunched over putting her boots back. “You can’t expect me to stay here while my sister’s God knows where-”

“ _Anna_.” Kristoff stood up once more, but rather than draw himself up to his far more impressive height, he simply took her by the arms once more, “Anna, if she comes back, someone needs to be here. I won’t be gone long. I’ll text you as soon as I find her.”

Kristoff’s soothing voice worked like a charm, and Anna’s short lived anger turned to annoyance, and then to concern. “You promise?”

“ _I promise_.” He pulled her close, kissing her on the forehead. “Why don’t you finish making that cocoa, huh? Elsa can  _definitely_ forfeit some now, as payment for all her little escapades.” He smiled in response to her dull nod, before grabbing his beanie from the peg and leaving the house, immediately searching the perimeter for Elsa’s unique set of footprints.

Anna watched as he wandered slowly past the window, his beanie already coated in a thin dusting of snow. She followed Kristoff’s progress through any windows she could, before she saw him quicken his pace and walk in the direction of the trees at the back of the house - the same densely forested area that backed onto their own home, and that she and her sister had spent hours in as children.

She looked after Kristoff until he became completely hidden by the snowfall and tree line, before her gaze dropped from the window to the kitchen counter. Glancing to the side, she placed her phone beside the stove, turning the dial once more and watching the cooled chocolate begin to melt again. Kristoff would be back with Elsa soon.

_…right?_

* * *

Kristoff trudged through the snow, his boots sinking into the white powder almost up to his ankles. Wrapped around one hand was a deep blue scarf, presented to Elsa only a few days prior. He had found the Christmas present from Anna resting on top of the snow, a few feet from the tree line behind the house.

He had wandered up the hill in the not-so-distant past with Anna, and a few times with Elsa in tow. There were several spots that he and Anna would… _picnic_ in, but whenever Elsa had ventured into the small forest, she would always visit the same spot, and that thought gave him chills. Or was it the snow that had just fallen down his back? He pulled his jacket more tightly around him, zipping it up until his face was barely visible between collar and beanie. He shoved his hands back into his pockets, and the feeling of the small bottles inside spurred him once more. Quickening his pace as best he could, he looked towards his destination, and hopefully, Elsa.

* * *

Anna hissed, pulling her hand from the pan.  _Stupid piece of… aargh!_  She stomped over to the sink, slamming the tap open and putting her hand underneath, the stinging on her palm soon dulling to an ache as the freezing cold water ran over the burn.

Sighing heavily at her own stupidity, she looked out towards the back garden and in the direction Kristoff had been headed before she had lost sight of him behind snow laden trees. This wasn’t how either of them had planned to spend their day. They should all be curled up on the sofa, watching long forgotten movies from the ‘90s, sipping cocoa and laughing at Kristoff’s horrendous impressions.  _But no, Elsa has to go and play hide-and-seek again-_  “Dammit!”

The smell of burning chocolate pulled Anna from her thoughts, and she took the few steps back to the stove, before pulling the pan off the heat - this time, with a cloth to protect her sore and soaking hand. Turning off the stove, she looked inside the pan at what should have been glorious melted chocolate.

“Only  _I_  could screw up making hot chocolate- Oh, and look. We’ve only got the powdered stuff left.” She grabbed the tub of cocoa powder from the cupboard, closing the door with a heavy hand. She looked towards the clock - she would have to make these closer to the time for them to be any good. And just where was Kristoff?

“Elsa can’t have gone that far. There’s nothing  _up_ there,” Anna sat back down on the sofa, throwing her arms up in the air in frustration. “Nothing. …except her spot. But that’s not that far away. … okay, it’s a bit far. And she’s on crutch- she’s on crutches, what the hell is she thinking!”

She let out another noise of frustration, dropping her head back to rest against the sofa.  _Come on Kristoff. The sooner you bring her back, the sooner I can have a go at her._

* * *

Kristoff had no idea how much time had passed since he left the house; the sun was still ridiculously low in the sky, the shadows cast by the trees didn’t seem to have moved at all,  _all the trees look the same… I should’ve brought Anna-_ “Don’t be stupid, Kristoff. You don’t need anyone panicking right now.”

But at least he would’ve been sure he was going in the right direction. He’d seen a few natural landmarks that had seemed familiar, and once or twice he had seen what looked like a single footstep with two crutch prints either side. He  _had_ to be close by now- _ah ha!_

With a hop, he pushed himself to move faster - he could see a tree line up ahead. It was only a short one, surrounding a small clearing -  _finally!_

Slowing down to catch his breath, he took a few steps out from the tree line, before coming to a stop. Dangerously close to the cliff edge, legs dangling, was Elsa, sat in several inches of snow, staring out over the landscape. Unwilling to startle her, Kristoff cleared his throat quietly, before opening his mouth to call out to her.

“Hi Kristoff.”

The voice was quiet, monotone, but was carried easily over the small clearing by the same slightly breeze that was blowing snow into Kristoff’s face, now he had lost the protection of the trees. Elsa hadn’t moved an inch, was facing directly away from him… “… but… I didn’t say anything.”

She let out a small huff, “You’re not quite as stealthy as you might think.” The humour- the typical Elsa sass was there, but it seemed so empty and hollow Kristoff thought she might as well have been reading the telephone directory.

“Well,” he took a few steps more towards her, pulling the scarf from his hand and it back into his pockets, “compared to your sister, I’m a ninja.” He fell silent for a moment, waiting for a response. He didn’t get one. “Elsa… what are you doing out here?”

“… seemed as good a place as any.”

“For… what?” Kristoff waited another few minutes, before he took another step closer, cringing at how heavy his feet sounded, how  _loud_ the snow was as it crunched under his thick fur lined boots. He was only ten foot from Elsa, but he felt like he was miles away. He wanted to run over and pull her from the edge, but had no idea how she might react. One small shuffle forward and-

“I’m not going to jump.”

He could almost hear her raised eyebrow. “… what? I didn’t say-”

“You were mumbling. Anna’s rubbed off on you.”

His shoulders drooped, a mixture of embarrassment and relief washing over him. “I should keep an eye on that.” He paused momentarily, casting his gaze along the edge of the cliff, assessing the danger. He could only wonder if Elsa had done the same when choosing her perch, but such were the differences he had seen in her recently that he honestly couldn’t say whether or not he still knew the woman sat in front of him.

_Elsa’s in there. Somewhere. Come_ on _, Kristoff. You’ve done the search, now the rescue._

“Elsa? … do you mind if I sit with you?” He took her small shrug as her response, and slowly made his way over, sitting a couple of feet away from her. Close, but not too close. Sitting crossed legged at the cliff edge, he leaned back on his hands, the chill of the snow penetrating his gloves despite their heavy construction. He couldn’t help but take a moment to appreciate the landscape before him, the sweeping mountains and the ragged green carpet that covered them demanding his attention, even if only for a moment. He made the mistake of casting his gaze downwards and caught sight of scattered rocks and trees at least one hundred feet below them. He briefly wondered how the hell Elsa had made her way so far up the hill, on her own, on crutches. _Stubborn as a mule just doesn’t cut it._

“So… I found something. In your room. I uh… was hoping you might be able to explain it.” Slowly, he reached into his pocket, pulling the orange drug pots out and placing them onto the snow in between them. “They were empty… do you know where the stuff went? The meds?”

Kristoff glanced over at her after several seconds of silence, and clenched his jaw when he saw Elsa staring off into space, but unlike before. Kristoff pushed himself up onto his knees, ready to take advantage of her seizure and drag Elsa from the edge, but he stopped short. He was still making assumptions - to take advantage would be to abuse whatever small amount of trust Elsa had placed in him by allowing him to sit with her, and he couldn’t lose that. Not now.

He returned to his previous position, rubbing his hands together briefly before setting them back in the snow. There was a slight hitch in Elsa’s breathing as she came round, and Kristoff softened his voice as best he could, picking the pots up and replacing them onto the snow, “Elsa. I found these in your room. They were empty… do you know where the meds are?”

He looked up from the bottles and up at Elsa. All the snark she had displayed only a few minutes ago had evaporated, leaving behind someone who looked utterly exhausted and defeated. “… I just wanted it to stop hurting.”

“What hurts?”

“Everything hurts. … hurt.”

“It doesn’t hurt now?”

Elsa made a motion somewhere between a head shake and a shrug. “I dunno.”

Kristoff resisted the urge to rub his face in frustration, and settled for shoving his hands back into his pockets, trying to warm them back up again. “Okay, what’s… ‘everything’? Your leg?”

Elsa nodded, causing Kristoff to frown slightly. Since being in Montreal, Elsa had been given drugs to quieten whatever errant signals her nerves were apparently still firing, despite there being nothing to receive, and when they hadn’t been enough, she’d been given painkillers. As far as everyone was concerned, Elsa was pain free.  _Nope, just too_ goddamn  _stubborn to ask for help._

“What else?”

“… I hurt them.” Elsa’s voice was so quiet, Kristoff had to strain to hear her, running her words over in his head. It was a good few seconds before he registered what she had said.

“Who?” He could see the cogs turning, and gave her a quiet, “Elsa? Who did you hurt?” when she didn’t respond.

“Mama and Papa. Anna. You. Kai, Gerda… It’s all my fault.”

Kristoff had called Anna the evening of their birthday dinner, and had groaned inwardly as Anna had described how it had ended. Just as he had begun thinking how they would manage their first Christmas without their parents, Kristoff had heard a raised voice in the background, apparently Elsa’s. Anna had abruptly ended the conversation and called him back a few hours later, congested and drained, and in no mood to talk. A simple good night was all that was exchanged before they had both gone to bed.

The next day however, when Kristoff had visited to make sure everything was alright, the mood had shifted completely; Kai and Gerda were pottering around as per usual, but seemed both on edge and relaxed simultaneously. Anna was literally beaming, and Elsa was… well, Elsa was sitting opposite her, playing some sort of card game with what appeared to be a smile on her face. A small one, but Anna’s cheerful demeanour had convinced Kristoff that things were a lot better than the previous evening, and he decided not to pry. He had however been told that Gerda had seen one of Elsa’s seizures, which explained why whenever there was a moment of quiet, she would look over to the sisters as if checking to make sure they were still okay.

It had been endearing at first, but after a while even he was getting irritated by Gerda’s constant buzzing around. Anna seemed to be ignoring it, but Elsa… he couldn’t read her reaction at all. She wasn’t overly or unappreciative of Gerda’s concern, she showed no irritation at the endless repetition of, “everything alright?”; she merely continued to play games with Anna, watch TV with her, drink cocoa with her - do whatever Anna wanted to do.

_In fact, the only time she was smiling was when Anna was… even then it seemed sad. No, not sad… longing, maybe?_  “Elsa…  _what’s_ your fault?”

“… I killed them.”

Kristoff stared at her, mouth open as if to say something, but… what did you say to that? “Wait, what?” _Well done, bonehead, that’s totally what you should say(!)_

“I killed them… Mama and Papa… they’d still be here if it wasn’t for me…”

“Elsa, wait-”

“No!” Elsa tensed up instantly, folding in on herself slightly as she wrapped her arms more tightly around her waist, her face turned from Kristoff ever so slightly. “They came to see me, because I was careless enough to get myself hurt! If it weren’t for me, they would never have caught that plane.” There was a pause, and Kristoff watched as Elsa’s look of distress turned into one of discomfort, her jaw clenching briefly before she forced herself to continue, “They’re dead because of me. I’ve screwed up Anna’s plans for the future, I’ve ruined  _yours_ and Anna’s plans, I’ve screwed up Kai and Gerda’s lives… this is the only good thing I’ve d- done…”

There was a quiet groan before Elsa fell silent again, staring off into nothingness, with nothing more than a few small shudders. Kristoff frowned hard, pulling out Elsa’s scarf and wrapping it carefully around her neck, tucking it into her jacket as best he could, hoping it would help somewhat in keeping her shivers at bay until she next woke up.

* * *

Anna was sunken into the sofa cushions, watching Kai’s cherished wall clock on the wall, her eyes following the swinging motion of the pendulum. In the silence of the empty house, the quiet tick, tock of the clock was like someone pounding a drum. She watched as the second hand passed by the bottom of the clock face… and again…  _and again…_

“They  _must_ be on their way back by now.” Anna slapped the sofa, pushing herself up from her position wedged in between the rather large number of small cushions lining the back of the sofa, kicking her legs up to gain momentum to stand. Reaching the small island that separated the kitchen from the living room, she leaned over, feet wagging in mid air, and grabbed her phone from the counter.

She leaned back heavily against the counter, the air escaping from her lungs in a huff at the force. With a few quick swipes, she had unlocked her phone, and checked the notifications.  _Okay… no calls. Maybe Kristoff hasn’t found her yet…?_

“No,” Anna locked the phone again, and shoved it into her pocket, “No, he’s found her. He’s just forgotten to call. He’s too busy telling her off to call. Right.” She wandered around the counter, coming to a stop in front of the fridge, pulling it open to grab some milk to heat up, “Time to make hot chocolate.”

Anna busied herself with the preparation, quickly disposing of her earlier failed attempt before needlessly re-arranging the three mugs on the counter as the milk began to heat in the pan. As she kept an eye on the heat, all she could hear was the sound of the clock, regardless of how much noise she made to cover it up. Her hand kept wandering to her pocket, constantly checking that she wasn’t mistaking a slight vibration for something innocuous.

By the time the milk was hot enough, the _tick, tock_  of the clock was unbearable, but since she was a little girl, she’d never been allowed to touch Kai’s clocks. That hadn’t stopped her and Elsa from changing the time slightly on weekends so they could stay up later when they were much,  _much_ younger, Anna’s tiny foot in Elsa’s cupped hands as she carefully lifted her sister up so she could hold onto the fireplace and push the hour hand  _“to the left- no, the other left!”._

Elsa would always manage to save them from Kai’s wrath with some big, blue, puppy dog eyes - Anna could manage cute, but Elsa’s eyes had always been her greatest weapon, no matter to whom she was speaking, or what they had done. There had always been a cheeky little twinkle in her eyes afterwards, but by then it was far too late to be mad at her.

_Come to think of it… I’ve not seen that twinkle in a while._  Anna frowned, as she thumbed the handle of the spoon she was using to dump mountains of chocolate powder into the mugs. Nowadays, Elsa’s eyes seemed so…  _lifeless? That sounds so extreme… sad doesn’t cover it though. There’s just… nothing there._

She thought back to the time she’d spent with Elsa over Jul - at least, after Christmas Day. Sure, she’d spent time with her, they’d talked, played silly games, eaten tons of rubbish food- actually, Anna had eaten most of the rubbish food. And done most of the talking.  _Have I spent all this time making up for Elsa’s silence? … was I just happy that she wasn’t cooped up in her room that I didn’t notice that… she actually_ wasn’t  _enjoying herself?_

Anna was unceremoniously hauled from her thoughts by the searing pain of hot milk falling dripping from the counter onto her bare foot, having overflowed from the mug she had habitually begun pouring the liquid into. With a small yelp, she took a step back from the counter, catching the mug with the pan. She watched in horror as the mug fell from the counter, as if in slow motion, before it hit the ground and shattered, shards of blue and white ceramic flying across the floor.

* * *

Kristoff had resorted to sitting on his hands. It was all he could to not haul Elsa from the ledge and drag her back to the house kicking and screaming. _Not that she would. She’d probably offer to pull me as payba-_  “Elsa?”

For what seemed like the hundredth time, he saw the slight change in Elsa’s expression as she came round, although she seemed slightly less alert each time. Kristoff had put it down to the cold; sitting in the snow in what appeared to be jeans was clearly doing nothing to keep Elsa warm, despite the hat that had now joined the coat and scarf. He wasn’t even sure she’d noticed it’s appearance on her head. It certainly wasn’t helping keep her ever increasing shivering at bay.

She still hadn’t answered his question.

“Elsa.” Her eyes flicked towards him, but didn’t meet his own. “Elsa, I need to know what happened to the meds from these bottles. What have you done?”

“Kristoff, you… you should go.”

“Elsa,” He sighed heavily, turning to face her slightly, as Elsa tightened her grip on her waist, closing her eyes, “You know I can’t-”

“Enough,” Elsa blurted, taking a shaky breath in, “go back to Anna. What’s done is done.”

“What?” Kristoff extended a hand towards her, moving to rest it on her back. Time to get back home. “Elsa, what have you-”

_“I said enough!”_

Kristoff pulled his hand back at Elsa’s outburst, his eyes widening. She had _never_ raised her voice at him. Elsa didn’t shout, not even to be heard, and now he was torn. Did he continue to try and convince her to come home, or did he sling her over his shoulder and take her back?

Unfortunately, the decision was made for him, and he watched in horror as Elsa fell onto her back, hitting the snow with a thump, her entire body tensing, her back arching, her face contorting into an expression of pain.

Immediately, Kristoff clambered over to Elsa’s head, pulling her as far away from the ledge and up onto his knees, trying to keep her up off the snow as best he could. His heart was pounding in his ears, his chest tightening as he struggled to keep his frantic breathing in check. His mind was blank. Elsa was having a full blown seizure in his lap and  _his mind was blank_.

_Dammit, Kristoff, you’ve been trained for this! Think! …okay, breathe. Deep breath. Think._

Kristoff let his eyes slip shut, taking a deep breath in, letting the bitingly cold air fill his chest and calm his racing heart. As he opened his eyes once more, it was as if someone had written instructions over everything, as all his training fell into place. He quickly pulled his sleeve up, noting down the time, before pulling his phone from his pocket and degloving to punch in the three digit number.

“… ambulance, please.”

* * *

Anna was pacing the living room, getting more and more agitated the longer she waited for a call from Kristoff. The hot chocolate had long since gone cold, and she only could clean up the mug smash in the kitchen for so long before she wore a hole in the floor.

Turning back to walk towards the front of the living room once more, she caught sight of her coat hung up on the wall. With a yell of frustration, she picked up a cushion from the sofa and smacked it against the back of the sofa, before throwing it against the armchair. “That’s  _it!_  This is ridiculous, he  _must_ have found her by now!” She stomped over to the kitchen counter and reached for her phone, jumping slightly as it rang, before pulling it to her ear. She briefly pulled it away to answer the call, hitting the button twice before it registered, “Kristoff! Kristoff, where the hell ar-”

_“Anna. I’ve found her. There-”_

“Where are you! Are you coming back now? Is she okay? Are-”

_“Anna! Listen to me!”_ Kristoff’s next words were slow and deliberate, and Anna’s eyes grew wider with each one.  _“There is an ambulance arriving. I need you to bring them to us when they get to the house.”_

“An… an ambulance? Kristoff-” Her plea for an explanation was cut short as Kristoff cursed down the phone, followed shortly by a strangled cry of pain from her sister. “Elsa!” Clamping a hand over her mouth in horror, all she could hear was Kristoff’s voice and occasional curse word. “Kr- Kristoff?”

_“She collapsed. She- she took them. The meds. Now she’s having seizures, and I can’t do anything until the ambulance crew gets here.”_

“She took them.” She took them. She knew this would happen. She’s trying to-

Anna couldn’t complete the thought, didn’t want to complete it. No, Kristoff was blowing it all out of proportion. He had to be. Elsa wouldn’t do that to herself.

_“Anna!”_

She focused once more on Kristoff’s voice, ignoring the voice in her head. ”I’m here, Kristoff.”

_“We’re in the clearing behind the house. Up the hill. Elsa’s spot, you know the place, right?”_

She knew the place. They’d visited it hundreds of times over the past decade and a bit. “How long until the ambulance gets here?”

_“They said five minutes, but with the weather-”_  Kristoff cut himself off with an expletive, before rushing to end the call,  _“Just be ready to go.”_

Anna pulled the phone away from her ear, and took a moment to look at the screen, catching her reflection in the glass as the screen faded to black. The sense of déjà vu was overwhelming and all consuming. It dawned on Anna that Elsa’s pictures might be the only things that she would be left with if the things Kristoff said rang any truth in them.

She was losing another family member.

And she felt nothing.

* * *

“Shit, shit, shit, shit…”

Throwing the phone to the ground, Kristoff grabbed Elsa by the shoulders and threw her onto her side, forced to look away as she lost what little she had eaten that morning. He busied himself with rubbing Elsa’s back, checking his watch,  _anything_ he could to keep his own lunch.

As Elsa quietened, Kristoff dared to look, and had his fears finally confirmed - a few tablets littered the flattened snow next to them, only just recognisable as those he had seen Anna collect from the pharmacy every other week. … _that’s not two week’s worth. It can’t be._

Kristoff looked to Elsa, carefully turning her onto her back once more, tugging her further up his lap, oddly grateful his lower legs had finally gone numb. “Elsa?” He gently brushed her hair out of her face, using her scarf to dab the side of her mouth, “Elsa. Elsa, come on, look at me.” He waved, clicked and wiggled his fingers in front of her face to get her attention to no avail, and she’d barely caught her breath before another seizure began. Kristoff looked down in horror as blood started to trickle from Elsa’s nose down to Kristoff’s sleeve, prompting him to draw her closer to him, resting her head in the crook of his arm, whilst trying to make sure the blood dripped to the floor.

He watched as the small rivulets of blood fell, the crimson even darker in the low light, snaking through the snow like tendrils. He watched as the puddle grew, and with every drop he heard, the more helpless he felt. The more he felt as though he’d failed in his duty to support the two sisters through the past few harrowing months. How had he been so blind to Elsa’s suffering? They were so alike sometimes it was scary. He should have seen the signs. He shouldn’t have been so quiet around her, should have encouraged her to talk, been a neutral for her to speak to. But he hadn’t.

_And now look what’s happened._

Elsa was barely responding to anything now, her seizures were almost constant, and Kristoff had no idea how long she could cope with that much physical exertion before it got much, much worse.

“Come on, Elsa… stay with me… please?“ He whispered into her ear, his voice shaky and wavering, the chill carried on the wind increasing with every passing moment. "Hey, we’ll get through this okay? Anna’s home. She made you hot cocoa. With real chocolate. That’s your favourite, right?”

He tried again when she didn’t respond, finding it hard to push down the urgency and panic drowning him. He felt something wet and hot trailing down his cheeks–tears that he didn’t know he was holding back. Briskly wiping them away with his free arm, Kristoff wiped Elsa’s bloodied nose with his glove, craning her head towards him. “Elsa, please wake up. Anna needs you. We need you.”

He watched as Elsa relaxed, becoming limp in his arms once more. Her breathing was far too fast and far too shallow, and even holding her so close, he had to strain to hear it. He continued murmuring into her ear, pleading with her to hold on for just a few more minutes. “Just a little more, Elsa.” His voice cracked as she tensed up once more, the stream of blood from her nose continuing to flow. He reached up carefully, wiping it away with his glove. “…just a little more.”

He heard a crack in the distance, but ignored it, not tearing his eyes from Elsa, terrified that if he looked away, even for an instant, Elsa might be gone when he looked back. He kept his eyes fixed on her, but noticed the cracking noise becoming louder, getting nearer.

“Just through here!”

_Anna._  She was close. Which meant the medics were too. “You hear that, Els’? Help’s here. You’re going to be okay, just… just hang on.”

“Kristoff,” He felt a hand on his shoulder, felt a strong squeeze. And that certainly wasn’t Anna’s voice, “We’re here to help.”

He tightened his grip on Elsa, not willing to place her life in someone else’s hands… but he had no choice. There was nothing he could do. He’d missed his chance. He shifted Elsa’s limp body carefully, before the paramedic stopped him, “We’re going to work around you for now. You’re doing a great job, we’ll let you know if we need to move her.” The paramedic moved to join his team mate in front of them, who had already started pulling things from one of the bags they had brought up the hill.

The younger man picked up the pill bottles that had been discarded on the floor, “This is what she’s taken?” Kristoff’s eyes flicked up for a split second, before he nodded.

“There was almost two weeks worth in there. She… she threw some up, but… “ His voice trailed off as the paramedics began talking between themselves, medical terminology flying over his head at a hundred words a minute. He glanced up briefly to find Anna, and saw her standing a few metres away, acting as if she were merely an unrelated bystander.

Stood by the tree line, Anna looked on as the paramedics pulled out various machines, connecting monitors to leads to skin, injecting who-knows-what into her sister, as she lay in Kristoff’s arms, looking like she was dead already. Anna caught her boyfriend’s terrified gaze, saw the fear in his eyes, the streaks of stale tears marking his reddened cheeks, but simply couldn’t bring herself to feel the same way.

She watched as the motions of the paramedics suddenly became more urgent, as they dragged Elsa from Kristoff’s lap and onto the thick lined stretcher they had brought with them, as one of them unzipped her coat and cut open the top underneath, whilst the other grabbed a set of paddles from nearby. She watched as for the second time in a handful of months, complete strangers worked to try and save her sister’s life.

And she felt  _nothing._


	19. Ripple Effect

It was as if someone had hit the rewind button on her life. Which was good, because that whole life flashing before your eyes thing? She’d managed to miss that, somewhere in between the splitting headache, the burning of muscles she didn’t even know existed and the thundering  crescendo of her heart in her ears.

She felt whole. Warm. Complete. She’d done what she’d set out to do. She’d done something  _right_ for once.

… so now what?

Elsa had been brought up in a low-level religious community, had attended church as a child with Kai & Gerda, but had never put much stock in it. According to Gerda, she’d once slipped from her seat, sidled up to the priest, tugged on his trouser leg and asked him why Mr. God would keep killing her school friend’s pet hamsters even though she was a  _really_ nice boy.

They didn’t take her to church after that.

As she’d gotten older, she still didn’t believe that there was a singular being dictating what happened, but was still curious as to whether there was some sort of higher power or force affecting everything. Some things in science were still inexplicable, even after more recent advancements in technology. Maybe there  _was_ something out there. Maybe it  _was_ God.

There had to be  _something_ after death, otherwise it was all just seemed so… pointless. What was the point of living if there was nothing to look forward to at the end? Well, if Heaven and Hell did exist, she certainly wasn’t going to the former after killing her parents. And wasn’t suicide a sin, too? Besides, there were no pearly gates anywhere nearby. In fact, there wasn’t much of anything around.

_Oh well… at least no one has to worry about me anymore. Anna can get on with her life, Kai & Gerda can get back to theirs… I can’t hurt anyone now._

She sighed. At least she thought she sighed. She didn’t seem to be in control of her body. Maybe she didn’t have one? Perhaps she was just floating in the ether. But she felt whole. Two legs, and everything-

_… what was that?_

She could hear something. Floating, earless, soul cloud or not, she could hear something. And it was oddly familiar. Faint, fairly regular, not overly intrusive… but it brought about a sinking feeling.

_… no._

Elsa knew that sound and what it signified. The soft  _beep_ that matched the rushing in her ears. The  _beep_ that began to increase in pace and intensity, as she slowly became aware of more terrifyingly familiar sounds around her. The louder  _whoosh_ and click that accompanied the  _beep_ , when she fought to take a shaky breath in, the sterile smell of disinfectant burning her lungs with more ferocity than the winter air of the hilltop.

Hoping beyond all hope that this was nothing but the trip down memory lane she thought she had managed to avoid, she tried once more to gain control of whatever vessel in which she was contained, and felt nothing but heaviness. And  _soreness_. She felt an ache unlike  _anything_ she had felt before, as if she had been forced to swim the length of the Earth and back.

Far too quickly, a bright light filled Elsa’s consciousness, as she heard distant voices join the computerised cacophony assaulting her ears. The light suddenly brightened and it was if she’d been kicked off the cloud she’d been floating on and had hit the ground head first. Her head was pounding, every fiber of her being was on fire, and with every forced breath she  _heard_ a creaking within her chest.

A noise escaped her, she wasn’t sure what, but the bright light disappeared, leaving its mark on everything she tried to focus on. Elsa forced her other eye open, slowly regaining control of her body muscle by muscle, and she tried to blink away the burn, watching as the colour slowly equalised and everything came into focus.

_… no._

“Elsa? Can you hear me?”

_… no, no, no._

“You’re in hospital. You’re going to be alright.”

Elsa’s response was nothing more than a whimper. She’d failed. Again. She should have just chucked herself from the hilltop. She could’ve kept walking all the way up the mountain until she died from the cold. But she didn’t. And because of that, she was still a burden. Even more so now.

“Elsa?” A different voice this time. More familiar. “Elsa… Elsa, sweetheart…” _Gerda_. Gerda was there. Which meant Kai would be. Two of the people she had hoped to release from their obligation to her. Two people she’d failed.

She felt a hand upon her arm and pulled away from the touch. She had to get away. She had to finish what she’d started. Hospitals were like mazes. There would be somewhere she could hide until they gave up. The owner of the first voice, a nurse, came into view behind Gerda, telling her to calm down, that she would be okay. She tried to tell him that she wouldn’t, tried to explain why she had to leave, but all she managed was a strangled “no” before her throat tightened, making it even harder to breathe.

_A tube._

Heart racing, adrenaline pumping, she managed to pull her arm away, only to feel the tug of wires in the back of her hand.  _They_ had to come out. She didn’t need whatever it was they were pumping her full of. She deserved to feel every ounce of pain for her failure. She needed it to focus.

To the protestations of the others in the room, she managed to pull the wires from her hand, before forcing herself to her side, trying to push herself up onto her elbow. She could see the door. It wasn’t far. If she could just-

_Anna_.

The door had swung open to allow another nurse to enter, and revealing Anna stood outside the door, looking more exhausted than Elsa had ever seen her. Her eyes were sunken, completely devoid of life, and there were dark bags under them, in stark contrast to her far too pale skin. Anna refused to allow her gaze to meet her sister’s, and Elsa was sure the disappointment would have broken her if she had. The disappointment  _she_ had put there. The hurt and the pain and the anger  _she_ had caused.

_Anna, I’m so sorry…_  Elsa watched as Anna’s gaze dropped to the floor, just as the door closed behind the nurse. As the door opened once more, Anna was nowhere to be seen.

“Anna…” Elsa’s voice was but a hoarse whisper, and she ignored the screaming pain of her muscles as she wrestled her arm free, grasping hold of the tube interfering with her panicked breathing. It was only a few seconds before determined nurses had her pinned down onto the bed, trying to hold her still for long enough to sedate her. She felt what seemed like hundreds of hands keeping her in place, stopping her from freeing herself - stopping her from getting to her sister. She tried desperately to fight them off, but the pain was just too much, the exhaustion hitting her hard, and that horrible detached feeling coming back. It felt like being back on the hilltop with Kristoff, nothing more than a marionette whilst some masochistic toddler played on her strings. She couldn’t get a word out, her chest felt so tight. The rhythmic beeping from the machines had become blurred, forming one single note that hung in the air. The voices that had been trying to soothe her beforehand had become distorted, inharmonious, and made her headache increase tenfold.

Slowly, everything quietened, as if she were being dragged away from the noise and back to the quiet place she’d woken up from. The sense that she was floating above it all came back to her, the pain began to fade, the thunderous noise became more and more distant…

_Anna_.


	20. Calm Before The Storm

Kristoff found Anna sitting on a bench outside the hospital, cradling a take away cup of hot chocolate and staring out towards a small park. She’d barely said anything to anyone the entire time they’d been at the hospital, and they were all becoming concerned, Kristoff especially.

The last time they’d been in this situation, Anna had been a beacon of hope, remaining upbeat and enthusiastic despite everything that had been thrown at them; now she was the opposite. She was silent, withdrawn, cold… everything they had come to expect from Elsa recently. Not Anna.

Slowly, Kristoff sat at the other end of the bench from her, leaning back, hands clasped together in his lap. He followed her gaze out to the park, casting his gaze over the snow covered scene, the small frozen pond, the barren trees. It looked cold and empty.

So did Anna.

“Anna-”

“I’m not going in there.”

Kristoff sighed heavily, rubbing the back of his neck. “Anna, she needs you.”

“No, she doesn’t. She doesn’t need  _me_ , she doesn’t need  _any_ of us.” There was no anger in her voice, no disappointment, nothing. She was merely stating a fact. “If she wanted us around, she wouldn’t have done what she did.”

Anna removed the lid from her cup and deliberately poured the contents onto the ground beside the chair, watching as the tepid liquid melted through the snow into the grass underneath. She stood up, tugging her jacket into place and looked towards Kristoff, but didn’t meet his eyes. She looked for a moment as if she were going to say something, but instead she turned away from him, walking in the direction of the hospital entrance, and the waiting room she’d been spending her time in, rather than in her sister’s hospital room.

“They reckon she’ll wake up soon,” he called after her. He couldn’t stand to see her like this, to see the once seemingly invincible sisterly relationship in tatters. When she stopped a few feet away, he pressed on, “The new meds they’ve got her on seem to be working, y’know, with her seizures and stuff… the doctor said the ones she was on before, they weren’t good together… they could have interacted with each other badly. Maybe… maybe that’s why this all happened?”

He was grasping at straws and he knew it. But if there was anything,  _anything_ to explain why Elsa had decided what she’d tried to do was a good idea, he wasn’t going to dismiss it. He couldn’t. But as he watched Anna halfheartedly drop her cup into the trash can, before slowly making her way back inside, he wondered whether or not Anna had it in her to discover the truth. Elsa’s attempt to end her life may not have come to fruition physically, but mentally?

He didn’t know if either sister would survive.

* * *

_You know she’s not coming back._

Elsa wasn’t sure if she was awake, asleep or somewhere in between. All felt the same,the edges of the three stages of consciousness blurring and leaking into one another. All she knew is that the nagging voice she’d hoped to escape - that of self loathing and doubt, the one she had managed to silence when she had a fully realised plan in place - was back with a vengeance.

_You knew this would happen. You wanted this to happen. Otherwise they’d be scraping you off the bottom of the cliff._

It had a good point-  _she_ had a good point.  _You’re listening to a voice inside your own head, Elsa. There’s no one here but you._

And she  _had_ been cowardly, really. There was always a chance she would have been found before the drugs had had their chance to work. After her little stroll to the old Arendelle house the previous fortnight, Elsa couldn’t get up to go to the bathroom without someone asking where she was going. It was only because Kai & Gerda had gone next door for the afternoon that she’d finally had her opportunity.

_You took advantage of their trust in you. Of Anna’s trust in you. You lied._

She’d lied to her sister. Betrayed her trust. Hadn’t even said goodbye.

_No wonder she hates you._

She’d told herself that she was doing it this way so it was easier for everyone. There would be something to bury. Unlike with her parents. There would finally be some closure to the nightmarish story they’d been a part of. It would take an hour at most. No one would see it happen…

_But Kristoff did, didn’t he? Held you in his arms while you threw up and bled in his arms. A fine way to thank him for all his support over the past few months. All that wasted time and effort he put in._

And he wasn’t the only one. All the physios, therapists, nurses had saved her in Canada only for her to try and top herself when she got home.

_You didn’t deserve their help then, and you certainly don’t deserve it now. They’re obligated to help you. Same as Kristoff, same as Kai & Gerda. Same as Anna._

But that had been the point of all of this, right? To free them from their obligations? To allow them to get on with their lives?

_And now you’ve trapped them in a hospital again. Obliged to sit with you until you can leave. And then what? You’ll do it all again? If Anna hates you now, the others must loathe you. They’d probably_ help _._

How ironic.

What  _did_ she do now? Did she try again? Why bother. She’d only fail, trap the others in an endless cycle. To not retry would to prevent the others from moving on.

_It doesn’t matter what you do. You had two weeks. Two weeks before Anna’s course was due to begin._

Elsa could feel the heaviness overtake her again, smothering her like a thick fog.

_Two weeks to remove yourself from that list. To make sure she had nothing but her own future in mind._

No… no there was still time… she could  _fix_ this.

_Time’s up._

* * *

Kristoff looked up as Kai walked into the room, morning paper in one hand, flask of coffee in the other. Kristoff had assured them that he would be alright on his own for a while, that Kai could take the girls home for a few hours of sleep. Gerda argued her case, refusing to move until Kai pointed out that if she slept in the chair, she’d need her own painkiller cocktail the next morning.

Reluctantly, she had agreed, but not until she had the word of several nurses that if  _anything_ changed, they would be made aware. Anna simply followed them out of the room, and that  _alone_ worried him more than anything she had said on the bench.

“Here,” Kai handed Kristoff the flask of warm coffee, waving away his offer of the seat. “Not been able to sit still at all, never mind sleep.” He dropped his paper on the table, turning towards the sleeping figure in the bed. “How is she?”

“Barely slept. She’d wake up, panic, fight some nurses, have a seizure, fall asleep. She got rid of her breathing tube too.” Kristoff chuckled wryly. “And to think we used to worry when spaced out for a couple minutes. Rather  _that_ than…”

Kristoff trailed off into silence. Like Kai, he hadn’t been able to sleep, despite how drained he felt. Every twitch, every slight movement in her sleep made Kristoff jump, as if Elsa were still in his arms, seconds from death. He had watched as the paramedics on the hilltop had dragged a deathly still and silent Elsa from his lap, heard the stomach churning sound of effective chest compressions as they pumped what little blood she must’ve had in her system around-

“Kristoff.” He felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder, dragging him from the replay in his head.

“I’m, uh…” He swallowed hard, clearing his throat, “I’m fine, Kai, I just… it’s been a long night.” Realising just how strong the death grip was on the flask, he let go, flexing his fingers. “Maybe… I should go get something a little less… caffeine filled.”

“Go. I’ll stay here with her. Gerda and Anna are getting an update from the nurses outside, I think.”

“Anna came back?”

“Mhmm,” Kai hummed, slowly sinking into the newly vacated chair, “Still not said a word. Maybe you can get something out of her.”

“Maybe.” Kristoff ran a hand through his hair, heading out towards the door.

“And Kristoff?” The younger man turned back to face him, hand still caught in his disheveled hair, “Go grab a shower, something to eat. Get some sleep if you can. And… we’re here if you need to talk to us.” Kristoff could see the idea was a last minute suggestion to the older man - Kai was someone of very few words. But the offer was sincere. Kai was the closest to a father figure for him nowadays, whether he truly aware of that or not.

“Thanks.” He gave Kai an appreciative smile, letting his hand drop to his side. Casting one last look to the bed, he left the room, in search of Anna and Gerda.

* * *

“No!” Gerda looked at the doctor, horrified. Anna was sat on a chair against the wall of the family room, watching the exchange between her caretaker and the young doctor who was doing his best to calm the situation.

“Please, Mrs-”

“No! I won’t allow it!” The look of horror turned to anger, as she crossed her arms in front of her, trying to keep them from waving around madly.

“Gerda?” Kristoff carefully stepped inside the room, frowning at the noise, “What’s going on?”

“They want to  _restrain her_.”

“Restrain? Wh-  _Elsa_?” Kristoff stormed over, uncaring when his shin hit the low coffee table in the middle of the room.

To his credit, the young man barely flinched when Kristoff came to stand next to Gerda, looming over the pair, “It’s merely a  _suggestion_ at this stage. But if the situation doesn’t improve, Elsa may need to be restrained for her own safety and wellbeing.”

“ _What?_  Why?”

“Miss Arendelle has refused to eat on three occasions and has shown a tendency to remove her IV line. It was noted by emergency room staff that she persistently attempted to remove her oxygen mask whenever she was conscious, and given her behaviour last night-” He held up a hand momentarily to cut off Kristoff’s interjection, “ _And_ given that further sedation isn’t an option given the damage she’s already caused to herself-“

"She’s just  _scared_ , dammit!”

“Kristoff, you can’t let them do this to her…” Gerda’s voice was pleading, as she turned to Kristoff and placed a hand on his arm.

“I’m afraid Mr. Bjorgman has no say in the matter.”

“ _Excuse me?_ ”

“I mean no disrespect, sir, but you are not related to Miss. Arendelle. In fact, the only person related to her is her sister, and as she is only 16, she’s also unable to make the decision-”

“But Gerda and Kai are their guardians!”

“Elsa’s current medical records don’t list them as guardians, merely that her parents are deceased, and until we receive confirmation-”

“Just do it.”

All eyes turned to the monotone voice emanating from the chair beside them, and watched as Anna stood up, not looking or talking to anyone in particular. “She clearly still doesn’t want to be here. If everyone’s determined for her to stick around, you may as well strap her down.”

“Anna!” Gerda called after the retreating girl, but it was no use. She looked to Kristoff, unsure of what to do, but he just looked as puzzled as she.

The doctor took the opportunity to continue, “As I said, it’s a suggestion. Elsa needs to calm down enough that we can safely administer medication, without the risk that she’ll simply remove her line. And if she hasn’t eaten anything by the end of the day, we’ll  _have_ to insert a feeding tube.” He checked his watch, before shoving his hands back into his pockets, taking a few steps in the direction of the door, “I would advise you pass this information onto Miss Arendelle before the committee make its decision.” With that, the doctor simply left the room, leaving Gerda clinging to Kristoff’s arm, tears threatening to fall.

“Comm- committee? Kristoff, what’s he talking about?”

“Some group of people who don’t know or care about Elsa decide what’s best for her just by looking at some paper.” He kicked the coffee table aside, dropping into the chair. “And if that arrogant bas-  _idiot’s_ anything to go by, I don’t think they’ll be as helpful as the Canadian one.”

Gerda rubbed her arms, busying herself with straightening the table. “Well, we can’t let them treat her like she’s… like she’s dangerous. She’s not. She wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

“Maybe not. But they have a point. She has hurt  _herself_.” Kristoff rubbed his face with his hands, before dropping his head back against the wall. He watched Gerda rearrange the magazines on the table… several times. “Gerda? Are you okay?”

“I… I just…” She brushed non-existent crumbs from her blouse, before a last tweak of one of the magazines. “This is so unfair. They’ve been through far too much in so few months. First the accident in Canada, their parents, and now this… and what on Earth was Elsa thinking? What possible good would this do? And what is  _Anna_ thinking? She’s been silent almost an entire day and then she agrees that her sister should be  _strapped to a bed?_ ”

Kristoff thought about stopping her rant, but agreed with Gerda wholeheartedly. Elsa had been so sure of herself on the mountaintop, convinced that her death was a good thing, and he couldn’t fathom why. And Anna? He had no idea what was going on there. Of course she’d be upset. Angry, maybe. But malicious?

“I… I should go and talk to her. Try and talk sense into her-”

“No.” Kristoff stood up with a sigh. With Anna so unpredictable, he couldn’t let Gerda go to her. “No, I’ll go. Why don’t you go and sit with Kai and Elsa. Explain what the doctor said to him. Before that nursing assistant drives him insa-… you know what I mean.”

Anna had wandered outside, and was sitting on a bench she seemed to have claimed as her own by virtue of the enormous storm cloud hanging over her. She sat motionless, once more staring out to the park.

Kristoff had had enough.

In a handful of strides, Kristoff had crossed the distance between the hospital entrance and the bench, coming to a stop directly in front of his girlfriend. “Anna.”

No response.

_“Anna.”_

_“What.”_

“What’s wrong?” He hoped the vague, open ended question might bring about one of her trademark rambles, but he received a muffled “nothing,” instead.

"Then… why are you acting like this?”

“Like what.”

“Like… like this!” he exclaimed, a hand waved in her direction. “Like some sullen teenager!”

“In case you’d forgotten, Kristoff, I  _am_ a teenager. And so are  _you_.”

Choosing to ignore the hint of an eye roll in her voice, and deciding mentioning how close he was to  _not_  being a teenager wouldn’t be the best idea, he continued, “You’ve not said anything for almost two days, apart to condemn your sister to being treated like some mental case!”

“Who’s to say she’s not? She tried to kill- no, she  _did_ kill herself. She’s only here because some strangers managed to bring her back. To somewhere she _clearly_ doesn’t want to be.”

“You don’t know that.”

“You were  _there_.”

“Yeah! I was! I was holding her  _while she died_. And I  _still_ don’t know why she did it. But I’m not sitting out here moping, I’m trying to find out what’s wrong so I can help.”

“She doesn’t  _want_ help, Kristoff.” She uncrossed her legs, pushing herself up from the bench, and turning to face him. “We’ve been trying to  _help_ her for months now, and what does she do? Throw it in our faces.”

“That’s not true, she was getting better-”

Anna snorted derisively, “If you say so.”

“And one of the main things that helped last time was you being around. Go and see-”

“I’m  _not_ going.”

“Anna-” Kristoff turned with her as she simply walked past him, headed elsewhere. “Anna, wait!  _Anna!_ ”

* * *

Despite Gerda’s pleas, Elsa wasn’t doing herself any favours. Having dissolved into tears when she overheard the word “restraints”, the doctors had been forced to sedate her enough for Gerda and Kai to calm her to sleep. Barely half an hour later, she’d awoken in a panic, struggling against anything and everything, including staff and once again, losing her IV.

Kristoff had entered mid struggle and immediately left again, frantically searching for Anna. Thankfully, her aimless wandering had taken on a small routine, and with additional help from the staff he tracked her down to waiting room on the ward. Unceremoniously, Kristoff took Anna by the hand and began pulling her along behind him, valiantly ignoring the fists to his back.

“Kristoff, let  _go of me!_ ” She began to protest in earnest as soon as she realised the direction in which they were headed, and both Kristoff and the surrounding nursing staff were grateful when he finally made it to the side room with her. “Kristoff, I’m not goi-”

“Yes, you are!” With one final tug, Kristoff pulled Anna forward enough that he could take her by the upper arms and force her to enter, holding her in place. Directly in front of them was Elsa, Gerda all but cradling her and trying not to add to the girl’s sobs, as one nurse held her arm in place while another reinserted the IV line. “Anna, you can  _stop_ this. Just  _talk_ to her!”

Anna stopped struggling against Kristoff’s grip and came to a dead stop, watching the scene before her. Watching as a nurse injected her sister with something to calm her down, she took advantage of the movement around the bed to pull free of Kristoff’s grip, exiting the room without a word. Kristoff called after her, but she didn’t so much as look back at them, headed straight to the ward’s exit.

With a heavy sigh, running his hand through his hair, he turned back into the room, watching as Elsa slowly began to calm, her body wracking sobs becoming shaky sniffles. Her death grip on Gerda was gone, her hands carelessly dropped into her lap, as if she’d been switched off. Kristoff strained to hear her quiet mumble, as did Gerda, who shifted Elsa in her arms to sit her up more upright, “What was that, sweetie?”

“She hates me.”

“Woah, no,” Kristoff strode over to the edge of the bed in an instant, shaking his head, “She doesn’t hate you-”

“Yes, she does, Kristoff. It’s okay, really.” Elsa looked up at him with an emotionless half-smile, which slowly faded as her gaze dropped back to the bed. “… I hate me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It will get better. I promise. But… but _realism_. And _ANGST_. But mainly realism. I actually found a report comparing the use of restraints and sedation in the US and Norway - Norwegian hospitals tend to favour sedation over restraints, unlike the US which - according to my sauces - strap people down left, right and centre.
> 
> Sedation after an overdose won’t help any. Hence the suggestion of straps.


	21. Realisation

Elsa turned over yet again onto her other side. Her muscles were still sore and wouldn’t let her find a comfortable position in which to fall asleep. Whenever she gave up and decided to try and sleep through it, she’d close her eyes and see Anna stood in the doorway, her own eyes filled with anger, hate, contempt… **  
**

_What you deserve._

Elsa gave up, falling to her back and simply stared at the ceiling, counting the tiles for what seemed like the hundredth time. No doubt there would be a hundred more - the faceless committee, having not yet received evidence of Gerda and Kai’s guardianship, unlikely as it was to make a difference anyway, had decided to extend Elsa’s stay by another five days, and she had barely nodded her head as the young doctor had informed her of the decision. It had felt like she was being locked up. She couldn’t go anywhere. She had no crutches, there was no chair in sight - ninety nine percent of the time there was someone else in the room, she wouldn’t have made it off the bed without someone questioning her.

Couldn’t they _see_? She was better off dead. What sort of a life could she lead- could _any_ of them lead, with her in tow?

But at the same time, she felt better. Physically, anyway. A little woozy, perhaps. The constant pain in her right leg was nothing more than an irritation thanks to whatever drugs they had her on now, and that could be calmed with some extra pain relief. She was no longer having full blown seizures - for which she was _eternally_ grateful - and her absence seizures seemed to be somewhat under control. A technician of something or other had briefly explained that the medications she had been taking before might have been interacting with each other, reducing the effects of some, increasing the effects of the others.

Mentally, she was a mess and she knew it. She had gone from feeling absolutely nothing to feeling _everything_ and she didn’t know what was supposed to go with what. Her leg was gone. Her parents were gone. Her sister was- was _as good as_ gone. She didn’t know if she was happy about that or not.

No. If Anna was happy, then she was happy.

_Sure about that?_

Elsa didn’t have time to dwell; just as she reached ceiling tile sixty-four, she heard the door opening slowly, as if someone were trying to avoid waking her.

“Too late,” she said, casting a wan smile to the mop of blonde hair peeking through the doorway.

“Can’t sleep?” Kristoff entered the room fully, closing the door behind him. He dragged the chair from the corner of the room and sat beside the bed, as Elsa pushed herself up to seated with a small shake of her head. “Any reason?”

“No… yes… I don’t know.” Elsa pulled her knee to her chest, resting her chin on top.

“Want to talk about it? If you’re not done talking about your feelings and your childhood and… whatever else it is shrinks make you talk about.” He chuckled, stretching his legs out in front of him. “How’d that go anyway? I… you didn’t look like you wanted to talk much when he left.”

“I…” Elsa plucked at the cover slightly, trying to put the wholly unnerving experience that was talking with a 70-something balding psychiatrist with something of Freud about him, into slightly… kinder terms. She couldn’t. Sighing, she dropped the bedsheet, but didn’t raise her eyes to meet Kristoff’s. “Could’ve gone better, I guess.”

“Kai said something about his opinion making up the committee’s mind… do you know what he meant by that?”

There was at least a minute of silence, as Kristoff watched Elsa staring at the bed. He had asked Kai the same question earlier that afternoon, but the psychiatrist had been tight lipped, merely stating there were still concerns regarding Elsa’s safety. _Gotta find out how he’s doing with that guardianship stuff._

Another minute passed, and Kristoff opened his mouth to speak, his voice low, unable to tell from where he was seating if she was merely choosing to remain quiet. “Elsa?” A blink. “Elsa… what did you tell him?”

“I… he… “ She took in a slight breath, as if she were steeling herself. “He asked me if I’d do it again. Given the chance.”

“… would you?”

“Yes.”

Elsa’s answer was almost instantaneous, with no trace of doubt, and laced with a determination that terrified Kristoff. Just as he felt the colour draining from his face, he heard Elsa’s faint voice continue.

“… I think.”

* * *

“Gerda?” Kai walked through the halls of their home, relying on his memory - and Gerda’s cleanliness - to guide him through the darkened corridors safely, quietly calling out to her.

He walked down the stairs, avoiding the creaky floorboard that had scuppered many of Elsa and Anna’s plans for midnight snowball fights when they were children. Over the years they - or rather Elsa - had learned to rein in their excitement so they wouldn’t forget about the step. Over the years, it had become habit for them to avoid it completely, something that still amused Kai. Well… would amuse him, if the current situation weren’t so dire.

He rounded the end of the staircase, looking to the kitchen for any sign of Gerda, before peering over the back of the sofa. No sign. With a quiet harrumph, Kai turned and sat on the back of the chair, and noticed the guest room door was open. Frowning, concerned that Anna may have also wandered off, he pushed himself up and wandered to the door, sighing quiet at the sight of Gerda sat on Elsa’s bed, watching the younger girl sleeping fitfully.

Gerda’s head shot up to look towards the door as it opened, calming when she saw Kai coming towards her, taking his hand as he sat beside her. “Oh Kai… what do we do?”

He kept his voice low and quiet to match hers, hoping to keep Anna from waking, “I… don’t know.”

“We shouldn’t have left them. We shouldn’t have gone to see the neighbours, we should’ve just stayed _here_ , with _them_ -”

“Gerda. We’ve been through this. This is clearly something that’s been brewing for a while. We weren’t to kn-”

“We should have _seen it_. For goodness sakes, Kai, we’re their guardians!” She held her breath momentarily as Anna made a soft groaning noise, before turning her back to them and settling once more. Lowering her voice, Gerda continued, “Why didn’t we see how badly Elsa was coping?”

“Elsa’s always hidden her feelings well, just like Adgar.” He watched the sleeping girl for a moment, before adding, “Anna’s never been quite so capable.”

“I’d never thought I’d see them like this. Kai, when Anna told the doctors to restrain Elsa, I- I just…” She trailed off, holding tightly onto Kai’s hand as he squeezed hers. “I want to believe they’ll come back from this, but I just… don’t know.”

“Maybe… maybe these talks with the psychiatrist will help. If we find out why Elsa tried to… you know… then maybe we can help some more. A bit more…” He rubbed Gerda’s knee, patting gently as he got up with a muttered, “just help _at all_.” Offering his hand to Gerda, he smiled slightly, “Come on. You won’t be able to help if you fall asleep on your feet tomorrow.”

Gerda took his hand gratefully, pulling herself from the bed and moving towards the door. When Kai failed to follow, she frowned, watching him as he tilted his head and slowly got to his knees by the side of Elsa’s bed. “Kai. _Kai_. What are you doing?” She huffed slightly at Kai’s dismissive wave, as he reached down underneath the bed and picked something up from the floor. “What’s that?”

Kai shrugged, walking towards the door as he unfolded the crumpled piece of paper. Gerda followed him out of the room after checking Anna was still asleep, quietly closing the door behind her. “Kai?” She kept her voice low, ushering Kai away from the door and towards the light streaming from the window. “What is it?”

“It’s a list,” he said, holding it at arm’s length to try and bring it into focus without his reading glasses, “Is that Elsa’s handwriting?”

Gerda dug around in her robe for her glasses, taking the note from him and peering down her nose at it, “No, that’s Anna- wait, it’s both. I think this is Anna’s, Elsa’s made notes.” She wandered to the armchair, causing Kai to wince slightly as she switched the lamp on beside her. “Call Oslo… uni? Transfer to September course… Anna was going to university?” She frowned, looking up at Kai, who merely shrugged.

“Never said a word.”

Gerda looked back to the paper, continuing to read in silence. “It… it looks as though this is a to-do list for Anna… who’s ‘Punzie’?”

Kai didn’t bother to respond, wandering over to sit on the arm of the chair. “You said Elsa made notes?”

“It looks as though she was re-writing the list. Look, ‘Deadline - January 7th’.” She suddenly reached out to Kai, her eyes widening, “Kai, that was the day after she-”

“I know, I know… what else does it say?”

“It looks like she’s crossed out all the appointments - maybe she cancelled them?” Dropping the note into her lap, she turned to face Kai, “Do you think Anna knows about this?”

“Surely she would have confronted her about it before all of this happened. Maybe Kristoff knows?”

“Possibly.” Gerda folded the note carefully in half, then half again, taking her glasses off and putting them both in a small case, “We’ll show him first thing tomorrow.”

* * *

Kristoff was sat in one of the chairs outside Elsa’s room, twiddling his thumbs, nodding to the occasional passing nurse. The young doctor - that seemed to be the only _damn_ doctor on the ward - had visited the room with the psychiatrist, both of whom had immediately made Elsa clam up completely and had treated Kristoff like a small child. Unable to punch either of them in the face without being removed from the hospital permanently, he remained until one of the nurses with whom they had begun to build a rapport had arrived, and begged her to remain in the room. Until they were done, he was left outside, his hearing finely attuned to what was going on inside, his knee bouncing so much it was visible in the water in a nearby cooler.

He heard the sound of approaching footsteps, but only looked up when he saw two pairs of feet stood in front of him. “Mo-” Kristoff cleared his throat, forcing his knee to stop bouncing, “Morning.”

“Good morning, dear.” Gerda sat beside him, resting a hand on his. “How are you?”

“M’fine.” They all watched as his knee started bouncing again, and Gerda squeezed his hand.

“Are you sure?”

“Those… that little upstart doctor’s in there. And the shrink. They turfed me out.” His fist clenched under Gerda’s hand, his jaw becoming tense, “I just wanna… stupid lil’-”

“Kristoff?” Kai cleared his throat, hoping to distract the younger man from his anger, “We need to ask you something.”

“We found this in the girls’ room,” Gerda released his hand, reaching into her bag and pulling out her glasses case, passing him the to-do list. “Do you know anything about it?”

Kristoff took the folded piece of paper from her, unfolding it carefully and glancing over it. His knee stopped bouncing instantly and he tugged the list closer to him. “… I thought I’d lost this.” He felt the stares boring into him, and with a quick look between them, he clarified, “Anna asked me to get some information from her room a lil’ while back, about c- wait. You guys have read this, I’m guessing?”

They both nodded. Kristoff winced, “Ah. She uh… she was hoping to keep the uni thing a secret until it was all confirmed. They’d sent a letter while we were all in Canada, she was going to announce it when we got back. Even Elsa didn’t know.

“Anyway, Anna gave me this list and asked me to get some information. I wrote it down on another sheet of paper - I thought I’d lost this one on the way back. Elsa must have picked it up when she was there at Christmas.” He rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed at his slip up. Reading the note in more detail, he frowned, “This… this isn’t Anna’s handwriting.”

“No, that’s Elsa’s.” Kai sat down next to Gerda, leaning forward on his knees, “We found it underneath her bed.”

Kristoff swallowed, remembering what else he had found under there. _Were the two connected? And what’s this deadline all about? What did Elsa have to d- shit._ “January 7th… the university was giving Anna until the 7th to attend, or she’d have to wait another year.” He looked towards Gerda and Kai, getting nothing but blank stares. “I… maybe Els-”

His head snapped around when the door beside them opened, and he shot up from his chair at the sight of the doctor and the psychiatrist. The former nodded to a nearby nurse, who quickly entered the room, and through the open door, Kristoff heard the sound of quiet sobbing. Instantly, he balled his fists, shoving his way past some other staff and heading after the pair, but not before Kai managed to grab his arm, “Kristoff! Kristoff, leave them alone, we can deal with them later.”

He glared after them, turning back to Kai only when the pair had entered a room and were out of sight. He forced the snarl from his face before entering the room, in which Gerda was already holding Elsa close, almost having climbed onto the bed with her. The other two nurses were drawing up an injection, presumably a sedative. Kristoff rounded the bed to speak with them, but was waved away, albeit with an apologetic look as they worked. He stood with Kai at the edge of the room, watching the scene, his jaw tensing, his fists clenched. “What the hell do those two think they’re doing. It’s certainly not _helping_.”

“I don’t know. This committee, can we talk to them? Get them to change the doctor?”

Kristoff sighed heavily, shaking his head, “I don’t know, maybe. But they’re still not willing to see you two as her guardians, they’ll probably just ignore us.” He ran his hands through his hair, tugging in frustration, before throwing his hands back down to his sides. “I’ll… I’ll be back later.”

Kai nodded, watching after him as he left the room, hoping he wouldn’t injure anyone in the process.

_Well… maybe just two people._

* * *

Anna had walked as far as the edge of the car park, before sitting down on her bench and ignoring her guardians’ requests for her to see her sister. It had been at least an hour since then, or at least it felt that way.

_… all this time alone is actually pretty boring._

But it was either that, or stay with Gerda, Kai or Kristoff and consequently, Elsa. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d gone this long without seeing her - even when they’d been separated by miles of land or ocean, they’d had a voice or video call or two every day. More, if Anna had had a bad day. She’d lost track of the number of times she’d woken Elsa up during the night to talk to her about something, and had never been dismissed.

So why hadn’t Elsa done the same? She could’ve said something. But no. Gotta keep everything to herself. _Stupid, stubborn…_ idiot _._

She shifted her foot back to kick a piece of ice across the grass, but heard the noise before she had even lined up the shot. She looked up, only to see Kristoff taking out his frustration on a pile of snow.

_… that’s new._

She watched for a while, finding his own thumping of the landscape as therapeutic as doing it herself. It was when he accidentally kicked a snow covered brick that he shouted in frustration, causing several passers by to look warily at him. He glanced around, catching Anna’s gaze and ducking his head with embarrassment, before he sat down in the snow. Anna could see how heavily he was breathing from her spot on the bench. Fairly quickly her curiosity won out, and she wandered over to stand behind him. “I wouldn’t do that too often, security might kick you out.”

“Yeah, well… if I get my hands on that doctor I’ll insert my foot so far up his ass that I’ll have to take him with me.”

“What doctor?”

“You know, the one you gave the reins to. Who wants to have your sister strapped to a bed and pumped full of as many meds as that _damn_ shrink wants.” He kicked the partly visible brick with the sole of his boot, sending it only a couple of feet away, before loosely hugging his legs again. “I don’t know what their problem is, but if they keep this up, she’ll probably be sent off to some psych ward.”

“Oh.”

Kristoff craned his neck around to look at her, frowning. “‘Oh’? That’s all you have to say?” He pushed himself up to standing, cutting her off as she opened her mouth to retort. “Els- your _sister_ still thinks killing herself is the best option and all you have to say is _‘Oh’_?”

Anna’s eyebrow shot up, her arms folded across her chest. “Don’t get angry at me-”

“I’ve tried not being angry. I’ve done calm and assertive, I’ve done understanding, I’ve tried everything short of strapping you to the bed, but nothing seems to get through to you. Your… your blasé attitude isn’t helping anyone, not Elsa, not _you_. All it’s doing is ensuring Elsa doesn’t get a doctor who actually gives a shit, and if she’s not got her head even _remotely_ straight in the next few days, who knows what they’ll do. You might be separated permanently!”

“Maybe that’s a good thing! She doesn’t want me around-”

“She thinks you hate her.” The pair were within inches of each other, neither of them willing to back down. “Do you?”

“I- I…”

“Right now she has _nothing_ going for her. Nothing except _you_. And until you go and see her, it’ll stay that way. _Don’t_ throw away what you have left.” He turned on his heel, stomping across the snow back to the entrance. Anna was having none of it, just about managing to keep up.

“Don’t you put this on me! This is _not_ my fault!”

“No, it’s not!” He stopped dead, turning around and almost elbowing Anna in the process. “But it’s not hers either! I get why you’re pissed at her, but you’ve not even bothered to find out why she did this!”

“Have _you?_ ”

“I… I tried. She wouldn’t tell me. All she told me is… is she’d try again if she had the chance.” He glared at the snow, stuffing his hands into his pockets, his numb fingers only just registering the sensation of paper against them.

“And how do you expect me to get through to her after _that?_ ” Anna waited with pursed lips and narrowed eyes as Kristoff pulled the paper from his pocket, drumming her fingers on her arm. “Well?”

He ignored her question, moving to her side and holding the paper in front of them, “She found this. Your list. I think this might be what set it all off.”

“… you said you _lost_ this.”

“I thought I had. Elsa must’ve found it in your room when she ended up at your house.”

“And how do you think _this_ made her want to kill herself.”

“This deadline-” Kristoff swallowed hard at the subtext of the word, but forced it from his mind, “It’s the last day you were allowed to start at the university.”

“And? So?”

“So… I’m wondering if maybe… maybe Elsa might’ve been trying to make sure you would go.”

Anna stared at him, “A simple, ‘Go to uni, Anna’ would have sufficed-”

“Would it?” Kristoff dropped the note, turning to face her, “Think about it. All this time, your focus has been on Els’. Other stuff on this list, it’s all about her. The date we were gonna have, you cancelled because Elsa was having a bad day.”

“Yeah, and look what good all  _that_ did-”

Kristoff shook his head. “No, no, you’re missing the point. You’re always doing stuff to help her, never yourself. You’ve cancelled tons of stuff because you want to help Elsa. You’re not getting on with your life, because you’re trying to helping her with _hers_.”

“Kristoff, what are you-”

“She tried to get rid of the one thing stopping you from moving on and doing what you want to do, like go to university: herself.”

* * *

Most people who knew Anna might say that she was impatient. Those who knew her well knew she was just so full of energy and excitement that it would occasionally spill over the sides. Few people knew however, that Anna could wait for _eternity_ if she so desired.

Today, she was waiting for Elsa to wake up.

It’s not like she hadn’t been in this _exact_ situation before. Her sister, out cold thanks to a needle happy nursing staff and Anna, sat beside the bed watching for signs of consciousness. Except this time, she wasn’t looking forward to this at _all_. She was going to give her sister a piece of her mind.

_Whenever she decides to wake. up._

Anna huffed, shaking some life back into her crossed arms before recrossing them, trying to flex the pins and needles from her fingers. She looked around the room, catching sight of the wall clock, before diverting her gaze up to the ceiling. She stared at it, noticing how a few of the tiles were slightly different shades of boring, plain, hospital-grade white, and wondering why no one thought to jazz it up a bit for people in the beds. Maybe stick a TV up there.

Her gaze dropped to the clock again. A few minutes had passed.

 _… okay, so maybe I am a_ little _impatient._

* * *

Kristoff’s knee was bouncing again - annoyingly, _just_ out of time to the ringing of the video phone of the small café he was sat in. He became slightly mesmerized the small telephone icon bounce around in the middle of the screen, jumping slightly when the face of a cheerful, short haired brunette appeared on the screen. _“Kristoff!”_

“Huh? Oh! Yeah, sorry, hi, uh… hi, Rapunzel.” He rubbed the back of his neck, forcing a polite smile to his face.

 _“I’ve not spoken to you in a while, how’s things?”_ Rapunzel grinned, leaning back in what looked like an office chair. Kristoff surmised she was at work, given the number of files surrounding her and the blandness of the wall behind.

“Uhm… well… not- not great.”

Immediately, Rapunzel’s grin fell, being replaced by a frown of concern. She leaned forward, the camera refocusing, and Kristoff sat back a little in the chair. _“What’s wrong? Is everything okay with you and Anna?”_

“Oh, no, we’re- we’re fine… I think. Uhm, no actually it’s…” Kristoff sighed heavily, looking down at his lap momentarily.

_“… Kristoff?”_

“It’s… it’s Elsa.” With a deep breath, he raised his head, hoping the words would fall out of his mouth in the right order, “She tried to commit suicide.” Rapunzel gasped, her hand shooting to her mouth, her eyes widening. Over the past few months, she had become friends with Anna, who had happily discussed her sister’s progress and - he was sure - acquired a few tips here and there as to what to do next. “We’re still at the hospital; they’re… they’re holding Elsa here for a few more days. They’re still worried for her safety.”

_“Kristoff… I’m so- how are you doing?”_

It wasn’t what she said - he had heard “How are you?” plenty of times over the past few days from Kai and Gerda. It was _how_ she said it that made him start to ramble. He spoke about how sure he was that everything was going alright, how much he missed Anna but understood why she needed to be with Elsa. How terrified he was when he had found the pill bottles under the bed, and even more so when Elsa had fallen back against the snow, miles from _proper_ help.

_“Kristoff, you did brilliantly. Not many people would have been do what you did on that hilltop.”_

“I- I panicked, I… I should’ve done more, I-”

 _“_ Kristoff _. Is Elsa alive?”_ He swallowed hard, nodding. _“Then you did_ brilliantly _.”_

Her words calmed him somewhat, and he blinked away the burning in his eyes. He nodded, both to confirm he had heard, but also to reassure himself. Rapunzel gave him a moment before continuing, _“How’s Anna?”_

Oh boy. “She… she’s not herself. She’s not gone to see Elsa the entire time we’ve been here. It’s as if she doesn’t care at all.” He described Anna’s behaviour, explained what had happened when _that damn doctor_ had discussed restraints, and he couldn’t believe he was talking about Anna. “We had an argument this morning, I… I don’t know where she is now.”

Rapunzel leaned back in her chair once more, resting her hands in her lap. She looked thoughtful, but also worried. “Rapunzel?”

 _“Sorry, I… Kristoff, I’m no therapist. Not the kind any of you_ need _anyway. But from what I know of them, if they don’t talk soon…”_

“It won’t end well.”

* * *

Elsa’s head felt heavy, as if it were made of black hole material, but it was nothing compared to the heaviness she’d felt before the nurses had intervened. Weren’t health professionals supposed to make you feel better, not as if you wanted to fall into a hole and never be found again? Well, at least if they were with her, they weren’t inflicting themselves on any other patients.

Slowly, she turned onto her back, letting her arm hit the bed heavily and wincing slightly at the tug of tape on her skin. Opening her eyes, she looked up at the ceiling, but saw something unusual at the very bottom of her vision. She directed her gaze downward, her eyes widening momentarily.

_Anna._

For a moment or two, there were no words, just two estranged pairs of eyes looking into each other. It was Anna who broke the silence, and the dark tone underlying her words was something Elsa had _never_ heard before.

“How could you.”

Despite all the earlier fidgeting and clock watching, Anna’s mind had never been so focussed. Until that very moment, she had had no idea what she might say to her sister. _You’ve got to work it out,_ she had thought. No sense stammering her way through this. Turns out, she needn’t have worried.

“After _all_ we’ve done to try and help you. Staying by your side in Canada, herself you to appointments and sitting in the corners of doctor’s offices whilst you _lie_ about how you’re feeling. All the adjustments we’ve made to accommodate you, in our lives, our home. All the worrying. All the… the trying to get you to open up and having to just put up with it when you said you were fine. After all that… all that we’ve gone through these past few months, and you decide to be the cherry on the cake. To-… to add your death to those we’re already having to muddle through.

“What, did… did you think it would help? Did you think it would make everything better to- to add to the suffering we’re already going through? Did you think Gerda and Kai would appreciate the gesture, give them one less mouth to feed, or that Kristoff might appreciate not having to drive you places, or that I-” Anna hesitated, but refused to let her fear get the better of her. “Or that I would be happy losing all I have left of my family?”

She had stood up from her seat, pacing slightly, but slowly, her tirade coalescing as a winding path across the floor. She came to a grinding halt, turning to face Elsa with an unreadable look upon her face. “Why did you do it?”

It took Elsa a second to realise the silence was Anna allowing her to respond, but nothing she could think of seemed right. Nothing she had reasoned earlier seemed good enough. “I was- am a burden. I wanted you to move on, to… to forget me, get on with your life. I didn’t want you to-… to have to look after me anymore.”

“You… wanted me to get on with my life.” Anna repeated her answer under her breath once more, chuckling once as if it were the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard. Elsa watched as Anna began to tense, her shoulders rising, her hands coming to a stop in front of her chest, her reddening face scrunched up in confusion.

Anna’s dark voice turned to enraged in an instant, and Elsa visibly shrank against the pillow, “Who gave you the _right_ to make that decision? Because it wasn’t me, it wasn’t mama or papa, no, _you_ took it upon yourself to decide what might be best for me. You do _not_ get to make that choice, _I alone_ , make that choice.” Anna felt like she was on fire, the heat in her veins fuelling her anger to a degree she had never felt before. She was no child. She may not have thrown into this eighth circle of Hell of her own free will, but she refused to have any more people dictate how she would conduct herself.

“I _chose_ to stick it out with you. I chose to sit with you every day when you were in Canada, I chose to stay with you when you went to rehab, I choose to go out and do things to try and help you out, I choose to go to physio with you- I choose to look after you. You’re my sister. _My only living relative!_ ” The once metered pacing had become frenzied, as days, weeks, months of anger and frustration spilled from the young woman, her hands gesticulating wildly, her cheeks almost as red as her hair.

“I missed-” She stopped herself, squeezing her eyes tight, clenching her jaw, barely catching the rest of the sentence before it was set free, never to be retracted. She had missed her parent’s funeral to sit with Elsa. Anna had been given the opportunity to return, the assurance that nothing would take place until she was present, but she had turned it down, making do with a video call.

And in that moment, Anna hated Elsa for that. The first compromise in a long list of compromises that had seemingly meant nothing.

Anna finally stopped herself from doing another loop of the area at the end of the bed, walking towards and grabbing hold of the plastic tail of the bed for want of something to do with her hands. The strain of holding back one sentence caused the next to explode from her.

“How could you do this to me! After all we’ve been through! How could you possibly think that losing you would help? You’re all I have left!” Her voice was becoming hoarse, a burning sensation in her eyes becoming more prevalent. She blinked rapidly to try and clear it. She would _not_ appear weak now. She _could_ not. “You have _no right_ to take that from me! You have no right to put us through this! You- yo-” She stammered, her tirade grinding to a halt, her momentum waning now her pacing had ceased. She knew she had to keep going - to stop now would leave the elephant sat squarely in the centre of the room. She tensed, her hands clutching the bed, her ears rushing, and lungs screaming and her heart pounding, ready to explode from her chest.

_“I watched you die!”_

There was a moment of complete silence as Anna caught her breath, her chest heaving with emotion. She tore her eyes from Elsa’s, looking down at the bed, unable to keep a lone tear from hitting the covers with a quiet  _thump_. When she spoke again, her voice was quiet, and the sadness in it made Elsa’s heart seize up to a degree she hadn’t thought possible. “I watched the paramedics almost give up on you before you took a breath in. There was blood all over the snow, all over Kristoff… I’ve never seen him look so scared, Elsa. Never. And… and I wasn’t. I was nothing, I-” Another tear fell to join the first; Anna couldn’t help it. She didn’t have the strength anymore. “I felt empty. You were dead in the snow and I felt so…  _empty._

“Every day you were getting better, getting stronger, I thought, ‘we’re going to pull through, we’re going to make it,’ and then-”

Her voice took on its more recent emptiness, as if Anna, with no qualms, had suddenly accepted what had happened. “Then this.”

She let go of the bed, turning to grab her jacket from the chair she had vacated. “Sometimes I wonder if mama and papa are up there somewhere, and I hope someday I’ll- I’ll see them again,” She turned back towards Elsa, her gaze towards the floor. “And if you want to go be with them, to… to leave me and go to them, then… I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to change that. Just-”

A deep breath in. Another. Anna took a deep breath, straightening her back and raising her head as though a rag doll being hauled upright. She looked at her sister, her voice steady, and sounding far stronger than she felt. “Just know that I’m sorry I failed you. And if you truly want to leave then- I… well, you’ve already shown none of us can stop you.”

Anna walked to the door, absent tears, absent anger.  _Just a little more._

“Goodbye, Elsa.”

Elsa didn’t see her leave so much as hear her, the click! of the door latch bringing an end to their conversation. The room was like a vacuum, deathly silent and devoid of life.

Anna truly  _was_ gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited throughout, mainly at the end. Sorry I've not updated in a while - I've been too busy to get into a writing mood for a long while. ^^;


	22. Bonds

Anna walked through countless corridors, paying no attention to her route and holding no final destination in her mind. She just needed to walk away. She ended up in a stairwell after a while, grateful for the peace and quiet the concrete walls afforded her. She gave a small smile and apology whilst passing a woman on her phone, another to a young boy further up who was putting out what looked like a cigarette, before scurrying past her, IV bag slung over his shoulder, clutching together the edges of his hospital gown. **  
**

She reached the top of the stairwell without incident, pushing open the door to a bitingly cold gust of wind that blew her braids around her head violently. She exited onto the roof, using her entire weight to push the door open despite the resistance of the snow behind it, before bundling herself up in her coat and making her way to the roof edge, prevented from straying too near by a guard rail. She cast a glance downwards, watching the people in the distance simply getting on with their lives, each with their own story. Sometimes she wished she could be a fly on the wall, flitting around, watching how other people lived their lives. What were those couple talking about? Had that doctor been involved in a life or death surgery before strolling outside? Was that nurse having an affair with a consultant, with both of them stealing drugs to go on wild highs before spending thousands of kroner on alcohol and the consequent clean up, paying off the receptionist who knew everything, and who had threatened to tell the consultant’s wife, who had a gambling problem and-

Okay, some of her stories could be a _little_ wild, but it was nice to think about other people’s lives for once, not the train wreck that was currently her own. She’d lost her parents, almost lost her sister, and most likely lost a placement at a university she’d been trying to get into for months with only Kristoff’s knowledge. Why she hadn’t told anyone else, she could no longer fathom. Something about not being as ditzy as everyone thought she was. Clumsy, maybe. But she’d been considering the change of career for some time. Elsa was the sporty one. Okay, and the brainy one, but that was beside the point. Anna loved teaching, but there was so little opportunity for it when she was on show herself. This way, she could get the qualifications, and with her experience, maybe teach on weekends for a club. She could even have her own club eventually.

Not to mention she wanted to be with Kristoff more than once in a blue moon. As much as she loved the travelling and all the excitement - not to mention her own occasional podium spot - she spent more time with Kristoff as a teammate than as his girlfriend. She had to do something else with her life, and right now-

_Right now, you’re spending all your time at home watching Elsa. There’s no chance of… shit._

Anna sank to the ground, her legs dangling over the edge, her arms resting over the lower beam of the railing. _She wanted me to get on with my life. She-_

She growled, smacking the cold metal railing with her palms, grabbing hold of the steel. She shook the bar out of frustration, ignoring the burn of the freezing cold metal on her skin, but it barely moved. _“She didn’t have to_ do _this!”_

The bar was suddenly ripped from her grasp as she felt burly arms wrap under hers, dragging her away from the edge. The backs of her knees smacked into the concrete, and she winced as the same happened to her heels, unprotected by her sneakers. “Get off!”

“Anna, stop this! _Anna!_ ” Kristoff pulled her far from the edge and pulled her to standing, refusing to let go until she stopped fighting. “What are you _thinking?!_ ”

Shoving his arms upwards, Anna slipped down and out of his grasp, turning on her heel. “What the _hell_ are you doing!”

“What are _you_ doing? Sitting so close to the edge-”

“What the hell- did you think I would _jump_ or something? I’m not _stupid_ -”

“Elsa said the same thing.”

Anna threw her hands to her head with a shrill cry of frustration, turning from Kristoff and stomping across to the door. The blonde rushed to place himself in front of it, crossing his arms over his inflated chest, staring the redhead down. He barely moved when Anna attempted to push him out the way, his footing secure even amidst the compacted snow.

“Kristoff, let me go!”

“No.” A slight grunt escaped him when Anna smacked him in the chest with her fist, followed by several more as the punches continued, but he refused to move from his spot in front of the door. He watched her, his jaw tightened against his girlfriend’s onslaught, but his gaze softening as each hit lessened in intensity, each shout becoming more and more muffled as tears began to take hold.

Anna’s punches slowed, her hands reaching out to grab hold of Kristoff’s jacket as the effort of holding herself becoming too much for her tired body. She came up empty, numb fingers unable to grasp onto the smooth waterproof coating of his thick jacket. Thankfully for her knees, Kristoff managed to slip his arms under hers, slowing her descent to the ground. He muttered soothing words as her sobs grew, even though he wasn’t sure she could hear him.

Kristoff’s heart wrenched at the sight; Anna was crying so hard, she was gasping for breath, so tense she couldn’t sit upright. It felt like an eternity - if the pins and needles in his legs were anything to go by - and he felt himself relax slightly when Anna’s sobs calmed enough that he wasn’t afraid she would pass out. “Anna,” he began, as the inevitable hiccuping began to kick in, “Anna, come on… talk to me?”

“This- this-” Anna’s voice hitched, as her lungs struggled to take in adequate oxygen. “This… this is _bullshit!_ ”

She spat the expletive to the ground, the top of her head pressed against Kristoff’s chest. With it came more sobs, but with each sodden word, Kristoff could hear Anna - _his Anna_ \- re-emerging.

“It… it… it _hurts_ \- what the fuck was… was she _thinking_? I… mama and papa… now _her_? I’m her _sister_ , why did… why isn’t… why can’t I…” Slowly, Anna run out momentum.

She didn’t the energy - or the will - to continue fighting her sister.

During their lives, Anna was always the one to run off on a whim, and Elsa was always the one to make sure she didn’t hurt herself on the way. Anna planned minutes ahead, Elsa planned in days. Whilst competing, she’d analyze as many of the other skaters’ techniques as she could; it was only when Elsa was snowboarding that she was looking to have fun _ever so slightly_ more than she looking to win. Maybe because she didn’t have to worry about who was next to her. Anna preferred skiing alone, otherwise she was always worrying what the other person was up to. Away from sport, Elsa would be the one with the backup plan when Anna inevitably screwed up, who would have plasters in her back pocket from six years old in case Anna needed patching up.

Elsa planned _everything_. She never did anything without a reason, even if Anna never fully understood them. She certainly didn’t understand her reasons this time. _But… it still makes sense… or does it?_

She let out a heavy sigh, “I don’t know.”

“Don’t know what?” Anna had almost forgotten Kristoff was with her, absorbed as she was in her own thoughts. She lifted her head up slightly, choosing to focus her gaze on a snowflake on his shoulder.

“I… I can understand why she did what she did, but… I _don’t_ understand at the same time.” Anna’s eyes flicked to meet Kristoff’s, her brow furrowed, “Does that make sense?”

Kristoff’s response was… _mixed_. “I… ah… I uh… may- maybe… no.”

Anna chuckled wryly, focusing back on the snowflake that was almost melted into his jacket, “She… she said she thought she was a burden. She…” Anna sighed. “She knows me too well.”

Kristoff started to maneuver them into a more comfortable sitting position, his back against the door to the roof, Anna with her back to him, wrapped in a loose hug. “She knew I wouldn’t leave her, that I’d stick around through all of it, I’d move college and stuff and-”

She dropped her gesticulating hands heavily into her lap, “And she doesn’t know me at _all_. I _want_ to stay with her. I came so close to… to losing my entire family in the space of a week. Uni be damned, I can do that any time. Just… why can’t she see that?”

Kristoff waited a few beats before responding, in case the question was rhetorical, “You’re both really stubborn. Once either of you get something in your heads then the blinkers go on and that’s that.“

Anna turned to look over her shoulder at him, taking the opportunity to move closer for extra warmth, “I’m not _that_ bad-”

“Remember the time you tried memorising directions to our hotel, and it took an hour before you let us convince you you’d memorised directions to a different one?”

“An easy mistake to make.”

Kristoff smirked, pulling his hat on and placing it on her head before pulling her in closer, “And when we finally got to the hotel, you steered us to the wrong room, and some half naked guy pulled the door open with you almost hanging off of it?”

“All the doors looked the same!”

“And then you almost fell into his-”

“ _Okay!_ Okay. I get it. I’m stubborn.”

“As a mule.“

There was a moment before Anna’s quiet voice reached Kristoff’s ears, “This wasn’t mixing up directions though.”

“I know-”

“This was her _life_. _My_ life.”

“… I know.”

“… I don’t know if I can forgive her.” Anna shivered slightly, and Kristoff quickly doffed his coat, wrapping it around her.

“Well… you’ve always been a person of action. Show her what she would’ve missed if she’d done what she set out to do.”

“I don’t know how,” she mumbled, dipping her head. “Can’t you see? I’ve already done _so_ much to try and fix things and _nothing’s_ worked.”

Kristoff gently rested his chin on her shoulder, unsure of how to respond. Everyone was trying to help fix things… maybe they didn’t need _fixing_. “I remember seeing something about how in Japan they use liquid gold to piece a broken vase back together, and then the damage forms part of its history. Something beautiful, not something to hide.”

“Kristoff…”

“You’ve both suffered immense loss. I understand it’s hard to work through it, but you’ll both come out stronger on the other side. It’ll be a part of your history. Not something to ignore, but something to learn from.” He trailed off, and silence was deafening. “I probably should’ve stopped at the vase bit-”

“No, no… I like it. It’s… it’s just screwed up. It’s all screwed up.” Anna sighed heavily, pushing herself up to her feet, shrugging off Kristoff’s jacket. She looked out once more to the scene below her, the ambulances at the entrance, patients being helped into cars by relatives, parents being reunited with their children.

Anna let out a laugh, hugging her waist loosely. “Am I living in a really horrible TV show or something? I’m sure that’s the only way something this screwed up could possibly be real.”

Kristoff pushed himself up, making his way over to her and wrapping her back up in his coat, “If we are, then I demand to be played by a really good looking actor. Maybe with more toned abs…” He looked down at himself, patting his stomach, causing Anna to chuckle.

“Whatever, Kristoff, you’ve got awesome abs.”

“You sure? I dunno, I’ve not been giving many piggybacks late-” He laughed when Anna immediately jumped up onto him, hanging off his neck. He wrapped an arm around her to better support her weight, the other arm following shortly after to pull her into a hug. “How are you?”

Her voice was slightly muffled as she buried her face into Kristoff’s broad chest, listening to his heartbeat. “… I dunno. Less confused and more confused at the same time. But better, I think.”

“Wanna come back inside and get some hot chocolate or something?” Kristoff knew at some point he’d have to get Anna into Elsa’s room, but he didn’t want to make it his decision. It had to be hers if it was going to help either of them.

He felt a nod under his chin, and let go of Anna ask she moved to grab his coat from the floor. He smiled warmly at her as she pulled it on properly, burying herself in the high collar, but the smile faded as the door refused to open. “Uh… Anna? _Little_ problem…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay in posting this chapter, but the subject matter became all too real at the beginning of February.
> 
> This is dedicated to Ann Asturias. I miss you.


	23. New Beginnings

Gerda’s hand hovered above the door handle, as she turned back to Elsa. “Are you _sure_ you don’t need any help?” She pulled her hand from the handle, bringing it to join the other in front of her chest. “I can just sit here until you’re done-”

“I’m fine, Gerda. Honestly.”

“And you’ll use the cord if you need help?”

“ _Ye_ -” Elsa paused for a moment, biting the inside of her cheek in order to keep her upset to herself, “I’ll use the cord if I need help.”

Having received the same answer four times in a row, Gerda finally relented, giving Elsa a small nod, before opening the bathroom door. She couldn’t help but look back just as she stepped through, and despite her unwillingness to leave Elsa on her own, she fixed her gaze onto Kai, and closed the door behind her. She made her way to sit next to him, watching as Elsa’s bedclothes were changed by one of the nursing staff.

“Nothing’s going to happen, love,” Kai’s voice was low and reassuring, his hand moving to take hers from its vice grip on the arm of the chair. “That whatchu-call-it… the little bracelet thing. It’ll let the nurses know if anything happens.” The ‘little bracelet thing’ was the only reason Elsa was allowed to be alone. Kristoff’s call to Rapunzel had set a few things in motion. The psychiatrist seemingly hell bent on sending Elsa to the psychiatric ward had been removed from her care team, replaced by a middle aged, no-nonsense woman, who was rather more focused on getting Elsa out of hospital as soon as possible. There was no more sedation, only something to help Elsa sleep on her terms, and the woman had finally coaxed an honest pain assessment from her patient, resulting in a complete overhaul of her medication.

Elsa’s constant watch had been replaced with a monitoring bracelet, in order to encourage independence, something Elsa had actually been _outwardly_ grateful for. Her vital signs were being sent to the nurses’ station, to allow them to intervene if they thought something was wrong. However with the nurses no longer a constant presence, Gerda no longer felt reassured that Elsa wasn’t able to do something when either herself or Kai weren’t present, and with neither Kristoff or Anna anywhere to be found, the older woman found herself jumping at every tiny noise that came from the bathroom.

“ _Gerda_. Relax.”

“I can’t relax, Kai. The last time we thought we could relax, leave the girls on their own, one-” She stopped herself as her voice begin to rise, lowering it to a harsh, pained whisper, “one of them ended up in hospital.”

Kai remained silent, holding onto her hand and mindlessly watching the nursing assistant tucking the corners of the bedsheets into place. He had no response, certainly nothing that seemed appropriate. He had a few choice words to Agdar for catching a plane in such horrendous weather, for not holding on for just one or two days more in order to catch a commercial flight, and subsequently orphaning the two girls whom Kai would always consider his own daughters. Other than that, he had no idea what to think. He’d learnt the ways of the strong, silent type from his father, and his father before him. He was grateful Kristoff seemed to be more open, because he certainly couldn’t comfort either of the girls the same way he was able to.

No, all he could do right now was to be Gerda’s cooling valve. She could get very..  passionate at times, especially where the Arendelle girls were involved. Maybe later, he’d feel more useful. Maybe.

_There she goes again._ “Gerda. Come and sit back down.” Kai patted the seat she had leapt up from when she heard a clunk in the bathroom. “She’s fine “

“Didn’t you hear-”

“Yes, I did. Have you seen the size of that bathroom? There’s barely enough room to swing a cat.”

“But-”

Kai merely raised an eyebrow, before patting the chair once more. He watched Gerda hesitate, could see the cogs turning as she decided whether or not to break the bathroom door down or return to her seat. After she heard the running of water, she calmed slightly, and returning to a smirking Kai. “What?”

“You.”

“What about me?”

“You would’ve great with kids of your own, y’know.” He patted her hand once more, looking at the pristine bed and the ever decreasing levels of equipment that surrounded it. “Even though you’d have driven them mad with your overprotectiveness.”

“Hush, you,” she scolded, lightly tapping his arm. “Besides, it was never meant to be. And these two were- _are_ a handful as it is. I wouldn’t have managed with more of them underfoot.”

Kai chuckled, giving her hand a squeeze before allowing her to resume her vigil. She was straining to make out even the slightest hint of trouble, but when another ten minutes passed without any panicked nurses running in, she began to relax. Kai felt the tension leaving her hand and arm, and out of the corner of his eye saw her slowly sinking into the chair.

_That’s better, love._

* * *

“Y’sure you don’t need any help?”

Kristoff leaned heavily against the steering wheel of the car, looking past Anna at the fascia of the Arendelle house. After a slightly embarrassing visit by hospital security to free them from the roof, Anna had forgone returning to her sister in order to first return home - though the word had lost some of its meaning over recent months.

“No, it’s fine. I won’t be long, I just want to grab a few things,” Anna leaned over the centre console to give him a quick kiss, before unbuckling herself and stepping out into the cold. She shuddered, closing the door quickly behind her to keep the heat in for Kristoff, shoving her hands deep into his jacket pockets before heading up the footpath.

The footsteps she had left behind on her previous visit had vanished, buried under freshly fallen snow.  Only animal footprints remained, with deep but tiny impressions leaving trails all over the small front garden. Anna forced the gate open with some difficulty, using her entire body weight to shove the solid wooden fence open, compacting the snow behind it. She trudged up the footpath, the snow up to her ankles, and made her way into the house. It felt even colder inside than it did outside, but Anna wasn’t sure whether that was due to temperature, or just how dank and dark it was inside once the door was closed behind her.

“Mama would go nuts if she saw the house like this,” Anna muttered to herself, her voice echoing off the walls. She’d never heard the house so silent. Mama would be listening to music, or humming to her own tune, Papa would be talking to a businessman - or five - or watching a movie with Mama. She couldn’t even hear the fridge running. The house was… well, _dead_.

She clapped her hands together, forcing herself to refocus. She had a job to do. “Come on, Anna. Grab what you came here for and let’s _go_.” She ran up the stairs two at a time, using the newel post at the top of the staircase to swing herself around to face the front of the house, her momentum carrying her down the corridor, coming to a stop in front of Elsa’s door. Automatically she raised a hand to knock, before opening her fist to push the door open fully. The room was pretty much as she expected, bar what appeared to be… a broken trophy on the floor?

Anna frowned, looking up at the shelving lining the wall at the end of the bed. None of the shelves were broken, and surely the trophy hadn’t _walked_ off the shelf, so… how’d it get there? She wandered over, picking up the pieces from the otherwise immaculately clean carpet, placing them carefully back in their place on the shelf. _Maybe Kristoff can help me fix it later. It’s not going anywhere._ She waggled a warning finger at it for good measure, then turned her back to the wall, scanning the room for her goal. She smiled when she saw her likeness propped up against the pillow, stubby arms and leg sticking out, bright orange hair disheveled to match its counterpart.

“ _There_ you are.” Anna wandered around the bed, picking up the doll and smoothing out the small green dress adorning it. It was still in pretty condition given how old it was, but did she really expect anything less? Elsa _was_ a bit of a neat freak. Mind you, even Little Elsa was in fairly good nick-

_Come on, Anna, Kristoff’s waiting!_

Big Anna held on tightly to Little Anna as she strode out of the room and back into the corridor, heading towards her own room. She stopped halfway, snapping her fingers before turning on her heel and heading back downstairs. As she came down the stairs she saw the second part of her goal, leaning against the boots on the shoe rack at the bottom of the stairs, not noticeable by anyone coming into the house.

Sitting on the penultimate step, she reached out and picked up Little Elsa, running a hand over the short braid, before tapping on the stubby right leg. Big Elsa had said the doll wasn’t accurate anymore. Big Anna was going to change that.

* * *

Kristoff had dutifully transported Anna between her house and her guardians’, then back to the hospital. Leaving Anna to her own devices, Kristoff returned to Gerda and Kai, who were both eager to find out where they’d been.

“All the nurses could tell me was that she’d kicked a trashcan halfway across the ward, then wouldn’t stop apologising the entire time she was picking up the contents.”

Kristoff had barked a laugh at Kai’s recollection - it was so utterly ridiculous. So utterly _Anna_. “She’s alright- well… she’s _better_. She’s doing something at the moment, but made me promise not to say anything.” Gerda looked at him warily, and he grinned in reply, “Don’t worry, it’s nothing nefarious or anything. Hopefully it’ll help. Anyway,” he sat on the end of the bed, his long legs dangling, “what are you two doing in here on your own?”

“A few things appear to have changed since you were last here. We’re thinking your German therapist friend had something to do with it.”

“Rapunzel?” Kristoff couldn’t say he was expecting anything tangible to come from their brief discussion a few days ago, but he wasn’t going to complain. “Like what?”

“Well, for one, that horrible psychiatrist has been replaced.”

_Definitely_ wasn’t going to complain. “About fuc- I mean… _finally._ ” He tore his gaze from Gerda’s, not looking for a lecture. Just as she opened his mouth to scald him for his language, the bathroom door opened, and a sodden haired Elsa poked her head out. The older woman immediately stood up to assist if need be, and Kai ushered Kristoff from the room, following closely behind with a throwaway comment about getting a coffee.

Gerda gave them a quick wave,  as she reached to hold open the door for Elsa, even though there was no sign of it closing on its own, “Was everything alright? I heard a bang, you didn’t hurt yourself did you?”

“No. No there’s a uh… a handle on the wall. I couldn’t work out how to pull it down for a second.” Elsa looked sheepishly at the older woman, continuing to make her way from the bathroom towards the bed slowly and slightly unsteadily, Gerda following only a few inches behind. It was the first time the older woman had realised just how much weight and muscle tone Elsa had lost. She was completely swamped in the thick sweatpants and hoodie she was wearing; the sleeves had been pushed up by the cuffs on the crutches, giving Gerda a painfully clear view of her far too slim arms, the evidence of previous surgery to mend broken bones marring her pale skin, the medical bracelet and hospital ID hanging loosely from her wrist.

She threw caution to the wind after a few more ginger steps, putting an arm around Elsa and helping her back up onto the bed. The young woman made a move to shrug off her guardian’s help, but gave up rather quickly, looking utterly defeated. As she settled on the edge of the bed, she placed the crutches aside, pulling her sleeves back down, tugging one ashamedly over the monitoring bracelet.

“Elsa?” Gerda took her hand, preventing her lithe fingers from fiddling with her sleeve any longer. “Feeling any better?”

Elsa hesitated, before shrugging ever so slightly, “I guess.” She’d always preferred showers. Short and efficient. But they were out of the question now. Instead she’d sat in the bath, looking at her stump and contemplating just sinking under the water and not emerging. But all she could hear was Anna’s voice in her head, her look of disappointment and complete exhaustion, and didn’t dare subject Anna to any more suffering than she already had. She didn’t deserve it. She didn’t deserve any of this.

Gerda was talking to her again. _Pay attention, you idiot._ “Sorr-” Elsa took a moment to clear her throat, using it as an excuse to remove her hand from Gerda’s, “Sorry, what?”

“I was just wondering if you wanted something to eat? I could go and get some chocolate or something for you?” Elsa shook her head, mumbling a negative. Gerda sighed quietly, unsure of what to do next. She stood quietly, holding her hands in front of her, watching as Elsa began fiddling again. It didn’t take long until Gerda forcibly took her hands again “Elsa, _stop._ ”

Gerda winced when Elsa flinched slightly at her stern tone, but didn’t let go of her hands. “I’m sorry, darling. I just… Are you sure don’t want something? You need to eat.”

Elsa merely withdrew her hands once more, and moved to lie back against the pillow, uncaring that her hair would eventually soak the pillow through. She turned slightly away from Gerda, curling up into a loose ball, “M’not hungry.”

Desperately wishing she could just grab her by the shoulders to make sense, Gerda watched as the blonde simply stared at the door, as if she were longing for it to open. _Or perhaps…_ “You’re sister’s around, you know,” Gerda said softly, looking for any indication that Elsa might be listening. She saw none, but continued regardless, “She came back here with Kristoff a short while ago. He says she’s doing something. Didn’t say what, though.”

_That_ peaked her interest, and Gerda saw Elsa shift ever so slightly to look towards her. She leapt on the opportunity, “Any ideas?” Her optimism was short lived, as Elsa shook her head and turned away once more. Gerda sighed. Moments like this made her feel old and useless, as she stood at the end of the bed wringing her hands. She was desperate to do something, _anything_ to help, to try and make her charge feel better.

Slowly, she moved to stand in Elsa’s line of sight, leaning down slightly to be on the same level as her, “Would you like me to help you dry your hair?” The younger girl didn’t make eye contact, her gaze falling to the floor as she shrugged slightly. Gerda held out a hand to her, the other hand on her knee as she leaned down, feeling her back beginning to complain. “Come on, sweetheart, I’ll dry your hair for you. Don’t want to catch cold, right?”

Gerda carefully straightened up as Elsa pushed herself to sitting, the defeat and detachment clearly shown in her body language. The older woman reached the help her off the bed, but was waved off with a quiet reassurance, as Elsa grabbed crutches and slipped off the side of the bed, slowly making her way to one of the chairs. Gerda grabbed the hospital property hair dryer from the bedside cabinet, gently drying off Elsa’s thick hair, just as she had when she was younger. Sadly, unlike the young girl whose hair was just as thick back then as it was in that moment, Elsa barely moved, her hands buried in her lap, her gaze fixed to the floor. Gerda hoped the sound of the dryer had masked her deep, despairing sigh.

* * *

Elsa hadn’t been able to think about anything other than Anna’s pained words. She had failed her. Failed to protect her little sister from harm.

Kai had entered some time after Gerda had finished braiding her dried hair, taking her away to get some lunch. After who knows how long sat in the hard chair, her body began to protest, but she stayed put a while longer. Only when her back finally began to make its complaints well and truly known did she move back to the bed, finding a relatively comfortable position in which she could wait it out. Giving her plenty of time to think about how badly she had performed in her role as big sister for her little sister.

A few minutes later and the door clicked, and Elsa watched as it opened, revealing said little sister. She looked younger, lighter on her feet somehow as she entered the room without making eye contact with Elsa. She walked to the bedside table, and Elsa watched as she brought her hands out from behind her back and pulled out their childhood dolls. Anna sat the miniature version of herself up against the lamp, before sitting on the edge of the bed with Little Elsa in her lap, tucked away in her arms. Little Anna started to fall to one side, but Big Anna caught the doll before it toppled to its side. “ _There_ we go.”

She needed to say something. Elsa needed to say _something_ , but she didn’t know what. Maybe the right words would just fall from her mouth. For once. “… Anna, I-”

“Now, Little Elsa. Lil’ Anna here thinks you’re a bit of a stinker, but she loves you anyway.” Elsa was sure she had spoken loudly enough for her sister to hear and fell silent, allowing Anna to continue uninterrupted. “She’s always loved you. And she always will, despite what you might think. Or what you think you might look like.” She shifted slightly, leaning forward to place Little Elsa beside Little Anna. The lifesize Elsa’s eyes widened as she noticed a change in her childhood doll - Anna had shortened the right leg, delicately stitching a new seam into place.

“She knows you’re not feeling great about what’s happened to you. But you see, you still look beautiful. Little Anna knows that. _I_ know that. And even if you and a certain other stupid person think otherwise…” Anna’s eyes shifted to look at her sister, a slight smirk on her face, “We’ll be around to make sure you don’t forget it.” Anna rearranged the doll’s tiny nubby hands, resting Little Anna’s atop Little Elsa’s. Her voice quietened slightly, her head dropping as she continued.

“She knows that you’re just doing your best to protect Little Anna and that you’d give anything and everything for her, and she loves you for it, she really does. But you gotta remember that Lil’ Anna won’t ma-” Her voice hitched slightly, but she pressed on. “… she won’t make it without you. If she ever lost you…” She turned slowly to face her sister, eyes brimming with tears and unable to keep up the façade, “If… I ever lost you, I-”

As teal eyes met sapphire, the tears began to fall. Anna’s shoulders heaved as she began to sob, hands desperately clinging to the bedsheet like a young child might a security blanket. Elsa watched as her sister crumbled before her eyes and something stirred within her that was all too familiar, and that had been absent for far too long.

Instinctively, Elsa moved to pull her in close, wrapping her arms around her and refusing to let go. Anna’s hands exchanged covers for fleece, fistfuls of Elsa’s hoodie in her hands. Neither sister would be able to recall how many times they had apologised, or responded with an immediate “I love you,”, a whispered “I need you,” or a pained “don’t leave me,”.

They’d been inseparable for years, younger sister following older sister without question. The stubborn, feisty redhead had had nothing but love and admiration for her since before she could say “Elw-sa!”, and now she felt so _stupid_ it was unreal. Anna was still a kid, her baby sister in need of her protection and support, and single-handedly she had almost succeeded in ripping away the last shreds of her family. They only had each other now. And Elsa finally realised what it was she had to do.

She had to live. If not for herself, then for _Anna_.


	24. Where Were We?

“Punzie!” Anna smiled warmly at the sight of the woman who was slowly but surely becoming one of her closest friends. She felt slightly guilty for not having spoken to her in so long, worried that Rapunzel might’ve taken offence to the distance, but simultaneously knowing that she would understand.

 _“Hey Anna!”_ Rapunzel’s voice rose from the small speakers of the tablet Anna was using, the brunette’s beaming grin causing a wave of relief to wash over her. _“Long time, no speakie- how are you? Everything okay?”_

Anna could hear the note of concern in her voice, and decided to immediately address the elephant in the room. “I’m alright. Everything’s… well, it’s getting better.”

 _“Kristoff told me what happened, been keeping me updated. If there’s_ anything _I can do to help-”_

“Nuh uh,” Anna shook her head vigorously, causing her image to shake slightly on Rapunzel’s end, “You’ve done more than enough already. Kristoff says thank you, by the way. He was close to throttling that guy.”

Rapunzel chuckled, sinking a little lower into the well worn sofa of her small home, a hand briefly coming into view as she adjusted the angle of her camera, _“Yes, well. I don’t think I’ve even seen him angry, but I get the feeling he could probably snap someone like a twig if he had to. Unlike Eugene.”_

“Eugene’d just try and charm his way out,” Anna pouted her lips, fluttering her eyelids innocently, “Just give in to the smoulder.”

The speakers peaked, briefly distorting Rapunzel’s laughter at the poor impression of her boyfriend. Anna grinned, shifting slightly to sit crossed legged on the bed. Just as she opened her mouth to continue mocking Flynn - now Eugene thanks to a slip of Rapunzel’s tongue - a noise from the corner of the room caught her attention, and after a few moments she shuffled around on the bed again to accommodate her subject change. “If he’s looking to kill a man with a look, I think he needs to take lessons from this one.” Anna smirked, jerking her head to someone off camera, before turning the tablet slightly to bring Elsa into frame.

 _“Ah yes,”_ Rapunzel calmed, as she pushed herself up to sit properly once more. Anna could see her demeanour shift from one of humour to concern, but in the way that a friend might be concerned, rather than a doctor or nurse. The corner of her lip twitched into a smirk, _“Little Miss Death by Raised Eyebrow.”_

Anna chuckled, looking towards Elsa, whose small smile reached the corners of her eyes for the briefest of moments before she ducked her head to look at the covers of the bed once more. Anna reached out and took her sister’s hand, pulling it onto her lap and rescuing the bedsheets from nervous fingers. Anna tugged on her hand gently when Rapunzel began again, _“How are you, Elsa?”_

Elsa looked from the sheets to the tablet, tucking her free hand beneath her thigh. Her initial answer was a mere shrug, before she hunched up ever so slightly, her voice quiet, “Okay, I… I guess.”

Rapunzel remained silent, and despite only seeing them through a camera, saw the exact moment that Elsa began to frantically work out what it was she wanted to hear. Rather than continue to watch the cogs freewheeling in her head, Rapunzel gave a gentle prompt, _“How are you getting on with the new doctors?”_. Once again, Elsa’s default response was a small shrug, but Anna tugged her hand briefly, as if she were trying to pull the answer from her.

Elsa’s gaze dropped to the bed, but she complied with her sister’s silent request to continue, “Alright, I guess. The uhm… the new therapist reminds me of my history teacher at school, but… yeah. She’s okay.”

Anna happily filled in a moment of silence for her, impressed that Rapunzel got so much out of her sister in such a small space of time. “She’s a bit stern, kind of like… a strict headmistress.” Anna saw Elsa’s nod in the corner of her eye, “She’s a lil’ gooey inside I think, not all… grrr. But she’s certainly more… I dunno, I mean, she knows her stuff, but so did the other guy, he was just so…” Anna’s entire face was crumpled into a scowl as she tried to think of the right word, or at least one that _wasn’t_ an expletive.

“Judgemental.”

Elsa’s voice was quiet, but not so quiet that Rapunzel couldn’t hear her. Kristoff had used the same word to describe the previous doctors, and she’d immediately done what she could to ensure the pair of sisters didn’t go through any more trauma than they already had. _“I’ve heard about several people in those sorts of jobs who have_ zero _people skills. I’m just sorry you had to deal with one.”_

Anna gave her a half-hearted smile, “It’s not your fault. Just our luck, I suppose.” She gave Elsa’s hand a squeeze, glancing over and sighing when she realised Elsa wasn’t with them. Anna turned back to the tablet, with a small shrug of her own, “I just hope this losing streak comes to it’s end some time soon. I just… I want everything to be back to normal. Or like… whatever normal is nowadays for us. I don’t want _this_ -” she briefly let go of Elsa’s hand to gesture around the room, “to be normal.”

Rapunzel gave her a sympathetic smile, _“I know. It’ll be hard sometimes, trying to figure out what your new “normal” is,”_ she said, making quotation marks with her fingers, _“but you’ll get there. Besides, from the looks of things, you two are on the mend…?”_ It was more of a question than a statement, and Rapunzel watched as Anna glanced back over at Elsa to check on her.

“I think so… I dunno. I was so… I was just so _pissed off_ with her. But we talked a little bit and I think I _sorta_ know what’s going on in that head of hers.” Anna ran her thumb over the back of Elsa’s hand, wondering if she stared hard enough at her head she just somehow read her mind. Her sister had always been a fairly open book to Anna before. A neatly stacked bundle of papers that Anna could flick through, with only a few pages stuck together, whereas Anna’s mind was akin to a scrapbook, thoughts hastily scrawled down whenever she came up with a wild idea or scheme. Over the past few months, the scrapbook was still pretty scrappy, but the subject matter had changed. No more wild ideas, but to do lists, surrounded by plans for the future, and somewhere amidst the jumble, she’d lost the key to Elsa’s head.

She noticed the flutter of Elsa’s eyes as she came around from her seizure, and gave her hand a squeeze, causing Elsa to look up at her. Anna smiled warmly at her sister’s sheepish, rather apologetic look. _No, not lost. Just misplaced._ “I think they’re getting shorter, y’know. Maybe the meds _are_ working.”

“I hope so,” Elsa cleared her throat slightly, tucking a bang behind her ear, “… who knows what you two are plotting when I’m not around.”

Both Anna and Rapunzel immediately started to splutter, trying to reassure her that they weren’t saying anything untoward, and it was only when the corner of Elsa’s mouth began to sneak upwards in a smirk that Anna swatted her on the arm, narrowing her eyes at her older sister. “You are _such_ a _stinker_!”

“Sorry,” Elsa’s subsequent smile lingered for a moment as she tucked the errant bang back behind her ear, “I do wonder sometimes.”

 _“We were just talking about what you two might want to get up to when you’re back home,”_ Rapunzel leaned forward, resting her head on her palm, _“Any ideas?”_

“Well, they’re booking physio and therapy and stuff-” Elsa started. She stopped short as Rapunzel cleared her throat with a smile.

 _“No, I meant_ other _than appointments and therapy sessions. Days out, lunch at the park, that sort of thing.”_ The girls looked at each other as if they’d never left the house in their lives. Rapunzel pulled their attention back, _“You two have been stuck at home or in some sort of hospital for far too long now. You need to have a break. Even if it’s only for a couple of days.”_

Anna looked somewhat longingly out of the window, “It has been a while. And it’s not Christmas anymore, so it won’t be so busy.” Her imagination began to run wild with ideas, her excitement steadily growing,  “There’s always lunch in town. Or dinner. We could have a picni- no, still too cold. Ooh! We could go to the city and do something there? There’s a zoo and a theme park and-”

 _“Anna!”_ came Rapunzel’s raised voice from the speaker, followed by a chuckle, _“leave the theme parks and the zoos for when the snow’s gone. Whenever that is. I have to say, I was_ sooo _glad to come back to a land where the temperature wasn’t minus nine thousand all the time.”_

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration, Rapunzel.” Elsa’s eyebrows furrowed slightly, her lips upturned in a small bemused smile.

_“Nuh uh! So, San Fransokyo has this thing called ‘Spring’, right, and-”_

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Anna butted in, smirking, “you and your big yellow thing in the sk- wait,I thought you were in New York?”

 _“For a bit, yeah. But one of Eugene’s job applications came back just as we started to unbox stuff, and it was too good an opportunity to pass up,”_ Rapunzel grinned, rearranging herself on the sofa, jostling the camera, _“We packed back up and moved a week later. Not even enough time to pop spare bubble wrap.”_

“There’s _always_ time to pop bubble wrap, Punzie. Al-”

Anna and Elsa’s heads both turned like a pair of meerkats, causing Rapunzel to chuckle. She remained quiet as she heard a new voice coming quietly through the speakers, one that she didn’t recognise as Kristoff, Gerda or Kai, both of whom she’d spoken to once or twice before. After a moment of muted conversation, the girls both turned back. Elsa gave Rapunzel a small wave, before shuffling off camera with an uneasy look.

“We uh,” Anna began, a bizarre combination of hope and worry on her face, “They’re gonna talk to us about discharge, so… I’ll speak to you later?”

 _“Sure thing,”_ Rapunzel winked, _“Anytime. Take care!”_

The screen froze for a millisecond before going black, the call at an end. Anna flipped the screen cover back into place, chucking the tablet up to the pillows and scooting off the edge of the bed, taking control of Elsa’s chair from Kai and following both he and the nurse out of the room.

* * *

Elsa, Anna, Gerda and Kai found themselves almost sat on top of each other in a small office just outside the ward, all waiting patiently for the doctor to pull up various pieces of information on the computer. Well. Almost all.

“So will it be long until we can get back to doing physio and stuff?” Anna asked, using the arms on Elsa’s chair as support as she leaned in closer, trying to see what was on the screen. Gerda frowned, unamused, and tugged on the back of her jumper to get her to stand up straight. Kai couldn’t help but chuckle, raising his eyebrow slightly at Anna as Gerda turned back in the chair to face the doctor. The younger sister pouted, a mumbled, “I was just curious,” directed to the back of her sibling’s head.

“Not long at all,” Dr. Ødegård replied, causing Anna to lean back in again. “In fa-act,” the young man drawled, tapping on the screen a few more times before finally turning to face the group, “you should be able to continue pretty much where you left off. I’ll get a fitting booked, your next physio appointment-”

“Excuse me,” Gerda raised a hand ever so slightly from her lap, her eyebrows scrunched together in a frown, “a ‘fitting’? For what?”

“A prosthetic fitting,” he directed his gaze to Elsa, “There’ll be a few, over the course of several months; you were due your first a week or so ago.”

“It’s been six weeks already? My goodness…” Gerda glanced up at Kai, amazed at how quickly time had passed. When Elsa looked up at Anna, she found a similarly pained expression on her younger sister’s face.

_It’s only been six weeks?_

“Hopefully there won’t be much in the way of catching up for you to do, Elsa,” the doctor leaned back in his chair, hands loosely clasped in his lap, “just a short assessment wi-ith… Sven, and he’ll take it from there.”

Elsa nodded, twiddling her thumbs. She felt a slight weight as Anna used the top of her head as a chin rest, leaning down on the handles of the wheelchair. She couldn’t help but smile slightly as Anna’s chin wobbled slightly, burrowing into her hair.

“As for your counselling, Ms. Solberg is… _happy_ with your progress, but-”

“That was one hell of a pause, Doc.” Anna scowled, raising her head from her sister’s. Gerda hissed at her to mind her manners, but the piercing look remained firmly in place.

Dr. Ødegård paused briefly before looking back to Elsa, “Do you mind if I discuss this with everyone here?” She shook her head - whatever he had to discuss was probably best heard by all; they’d only weasel the information out from her later on. The doctor continued, “Ms. Solberg and I have discussed your progress, and… although you _have_ made progress, you’re also not one to let someone know if something goes wrong. Am I right?”

Elsa swallowed slightly, looking sheepishly down into her lap. Dr. Ødegård leaned forward, elbows on knees, “I’ll take that as a yes. Now, you already knew your counselling would continue outside of the hospital, and we have two options for you. You can either attend sessions daily with a therapist local to you, but that might interfere with your physio. _Or_ you can come here once or twice a week, but keep wearing the monitoring bracelet until Ms. Solberg’s happy.” He raised his voice ever so slightly to be heard over Anna’s indignant gasp, “It’s merely a safety precaution. Instead of physically seeing you every day and checking up on you that way, we can be remotely reassured that you’re alright. In the same way that you don’t have a nurse with you all the time now.”

Anna’s gasp turned into a squeak and she stood ramrod straight, “A safety precaution? You’re basically saying you don’t trust her not to hurt- to…” Anna trailed off; she’d already had that discussion once, she didn’t want to have it again.

The doctor continued, “It will also have the added benefit of alerting us to Elsa’s seizures.” He looked from Anna to Elsa, who was still silent. “The medication you’re on appears to be working to improve them, but it’ll take a while longer to figure out your optimal treatment regime.

“You don’t have to give me your decision now. You can discuss it amongst yourselves, and with Ms. Solberg-”

“If I wear it, I’ll only have to be here once a week?”

Dr. Ødegård leaned back in his chair, “You might have to pop in for an extra appointment every so often, but yes.”

“And… will I be able to leave here sooner?”

“Well, once you’ve made your choice, we can finalise your follow up appointments and care plan, so… I can’t see why no-”

“I’ll wear it.” Elsa heard Anna stammer in surprise, and turned in the chair to look up at her, “If it will reassure people I’m not going to do anything stupid, I’ll do it. If it’ll make sure you know I’m safe… I’ll wear it.” She smiled up at her sister, who had finally started to relax, “Besides, if it lets me leave hospital, I’ll wear one on each arm, leg, as earrings-”

Anna swatted at Elsa’s braid, a quirky grin gracing her face, “Fine, fine. I just… it’s like the hospital’s spying on you. Like they don’t believe you.”

“Do _you_ believe me? Completely?”

“I… of course I do,” Anna chuckled once, desperately trying to sound more convincing than she felt. She knew she should believe that Elsa would be safe once they were out of the hospital, that she wouldn’t try something stupid, but a small nagging voice in the back of her mind made her doubt that.

Elsa’s smile saddened slightly, but she understood. “Until you believe me, until… until I regain _your_ trust. I’ll wear it.”

* * *

Elsa squinted at the harsh afternoon sunlight, pausing to pull the zipper of her thick coat up higher. Anna stood alongside her, various pieces of paperwork and medicines in her backpack, as Gerda and Kai brought up the rear. As Elsa rearranged her crutches to continue, there was the toot of a car horn as Kristoff pulled up at the end of the pavement with a wave. Getting out of the driver’s side he walked around to the other side, opening both front and rear doors and bowing down, eliciting a chuckle from Anna, who promptly walked over and smacked him on the arm.

“Is that any way to treat your chauffeur?” He stood up straight once more, bottom lip stuck out in a pout, “I even got it valeted before I got here.”

“So that’s why you’re an hour late, ‘ey Kristoff?” Kai smirked, helping Gerda into the car before getting in himself. Kristoff shrugged sheepishly, an embarrassed flush to his cheeks.

He heard a clunk and turned towards the girls, moving quickly to help Elsa into the front seat. “So. Ready to head home? I was thinking of ordering pizza, far too much chocolate ice cream…” Kristoff said with a grin, “Sounds good?”

“Sounds unhealthy…” came a mumble from the back seat, Gerda’s face equally as unimpressed.

Elsa’s face was quite the opposite, as she buckled up with a grateful smile towards Kristoff, “Sounds perfect.”


	25. Out With The Old, On With The New

“So… where do we start?” **  
**

Anna rolled up her sleeves, hands on hips as she surveyed the living room. Elsa looked around - the dust was even thicker, two empty coffee mugs sat by the sink waiting to be washed, the newspaper on the table faded, thanks to the sunlight peering through the blinds. “I… I don’t know. Why don’t we start on one side and work our way over?”

Anna strolled over to the front windows, taking hold of the pullcord of the blind, “Sounds like a plan- geez!” Pulling up the blinds sent a cloud of dust into the room, causing her to dissolve into a coughing fit. Waving the dust away from her face, she grabbed the key to unlock the window, shoving it open and taking an exaggerated breath. “ _Maybe_ … we should get the vacuum out first.”

Elsa smirked slightly, “Perhaps. I _think_ the power’s still running.” She made her way to the light switch, flicking on the lights in the room, immediately showing up every particle of dust Anna had kicked up, “Oh wow…”

“Okay, I’ll go get the vacuum, you open some more windows.” Anna passed the window key to Elsa as she walked past, jogging up the stairs. Elsa popped the key into her mouth briefly, as she hopped over to the kitchen windows, opening them up, the breeze hitting her immediately. She caught a glimpse of the inside of the coffee mugs; she hadn’t cleaned them up when she’d moved them, and she screwed up her nose at the sight. She turned away as she heard the _thud-thud-thud_ of Anna walking the vacuum down the stairs, and continued her way to the last unopened windows.

It wasn’t long before Anna joined Elsa by the first bookcase, looking over her sister’s shoulder at the multitude of books. “How on Earth did we acquire so many books?”

“Mama liked books just for the sake of having books. Papa wasn’t much better.” Elsa reached up carefully, pulling the first book down from the top shelf, blowing the dust off the top, “Lord of the Rings… well, taste _is_ subjective.”

“Hey, don’t judge a book by its film,” Anna pulled the book from Elsa’s hands, clutching it protectively. “This one, we keep. And if we find Harry Potter, we keep those too. Next?”

After a while the girls had swapped places; Anna was pulling books from the shelves as Elsa sat on a stool beside various boxes, sorting them into ‘Elsa’, ‘Anna’, ‘GK&K’ and ‘out’. After a day sat on the sofa, Kristoff had broached the suggestion that it might be time to sort through their old house, to try and move on and look towards the future.

_“I know it’ll be hard, but we’re here to help.” Kristoff handed them both their mugs of hot chocolate, topped with cream, some vanilla syrup for Elsa, and a hint of cinnamon for Anna, “And you can’t live between two houses forever.”_

_Elsa sighed, looking down at the mug, “I suppose… something has to happen to the house, whether we move back there or … or we sell up.” There was a moment of silence as all three sipped at their drinks, before Elsa continued quietly, “I’m not sure I want to go back there.”_

_“Good.” Anna immediately realised just how horrible that sounded, and started to backtrack, “I-I mean… I’m glad to hear you say that. Not that it would be wrong if you did, I just…”_

_“Anna.”_

_“… I’m glad I’m not the only one.”_

After a few more cups of hot chocolate and along with Gerda and Kai, they decided that regardless of the eventual result, the Arendelle house would benefit from some tidying, and secretly, Gerda and Kai were sure the girls would benefit from some closure.

“And last but not least…” Anna held up a thick tome, the title indecipherable. “… okay, I have no idea.”

“Keep that for Kai. That’s Old Norse, he loves that sort of thing.”

“Old, old, _old_ Norse,” Anna flicked through a few of the pages, grinning slightly at some of the images, “Hey, this has cute little goblin gnome things in it.”

“They’re trolls, Anna.” Elsa smirked, tapping the box for Gerda, Kai and Kristoff. Anna carefully laid the book inside, standing back to look at the empty bookcase.

“Wow… I don’t think I’ve ever seen this bit of the wall. Have you?” Elsa shook her head. They both looked towards the box of books to get rid of and Elsa felt a tinge of sadness at how many there were. Anna wandered over, rearranging the books slightly so she could get the lid on top, “So… what shall we do with these? Do we have a uh… a yard sale or something?”

Elsa looked at the box for a moment, lost in thought. Selling the books, selling parts of the house seemed so… unfeeling, as if there was no sentiment attached to any of it. Then it hit her - her mother would buy most of the books from charity shops, fundraising events; many of them were decades old, well worn and  much loved. “No,” Elsa finally replied, looking up towards Anna, “We should donate them. To a shop, or a library.”

Anna gave a firm nod, grabbing the marker from the table and scribbling ‘DONATE’ on the box. “Alright then. Where to now?”

* * *

Despite their best efforts, it was difficult to maintain their enthusiasm as the shelves began to empty and the walls became bare. Both girls began to realise that piece by piece, they were saying goodbye to their old lives; neither of them were looking forward to the day they started upstairs. As such, there was a shared sense of relief as they were forced to take a day off from their spring clean, to attend Elsa’s first prosthetic fitting.

“Years ago, we’d have you stood in a pot of liquid plaster and watched you squirm. _Nowadays_ , we can scan a residual limb in a few minutes; hopefully you’ll walk out of here on your new leg.” The prosthetist, Kristin, clapped her hands together, pushing herself up from the chair. “Okay Elsa, come and stand here for me.”

With a hand from Anna, Elsa hopped over to a pair of beams, allowing them to support her weight. Kristin set up a small scanning device around her residual limb and set it to work, “Try not to move too much, alright?”

Elsa nodded, her gaze following the woman as she collected a small box from the desk, and brought it back to the sisters. “So, while that’s cooking, let’s discuss a few things. What do you want to be able to do when you’ve got your final prosthetic?” She looked between the pair, and after a few moments of silence, decided to get the ball rolling, “Do you like going for walks, or jogging? Are you sporty, not sporty?”

That got Anna started, “ _Definitely_ the sporty type.”

“Oh?” Kristin looked at Elsa curiously, “Which sports?”

“Uhm… winter sports. Ice skating, that sort of thing.”

Anna faux swatted her on the arm, aware that Elsa wasn’t allowed to move much, “What-ever. _Multi_ -Olympic gold medallist speed-skater here.”

Kristin grinned, clearly impressed, which just made Elsa look down in embarrassment, “Oh _really_? Well, I don’t know if we can get you ready for the next Olympics, but getting back to sports is certainly a goal you can work towards.” She started rummaging through the box she had brought over, pulling out various materials and design specifications. Anna smirked mischievously at Elsa, who simply scowled back.

“So, your first prosthetic is temporary. It’s made of lower quality materials, but it’s still strong enough to get you through your first several months of physiotherapy, and get you used to walking again. You’ll need check ups, so we can make sure it still fits properly over the course of a few months whilst your residual limb matures. Then if all goes well, we’ll sort your definitive prosthesis out, and _that’s_ when we can tailor it to the sorts of activities you want to do. Alright?”

“Several months…?” Elsa sank a little; the past several weeks had passed by so slowly, how long would several _months_ feel like?

“It sounds like a long while, I know. But you need to develop good habits now, so you don’t have problems in the future.” There was a quiet beeping from the scanner, and Kristin freed Elsa from the device, pulling the seat over for her.

“What’s the process like?” Anna stood next to Elsa, leaning against a support pole. “I mean… sure, it might be several months before Elsa’s kicking my ass on the snow again, but how long until we can go for a stroll?”

“That’s up to you two, how much effort you put in.” Kristin tapped a few buttons on a nearby computer screen, hooked up to a 3D printer. Anna caught a glimpse of Elsa’s scan appear on the screen, before a few selection boxes appeared. Kristin turned back to them. “You want to get back onto the ice, right?

Elsa imagined for a moment, that she was back doing what she loved, speeding around a rink at ridiculous speed, skating on the central lake when it froze over in winter… sailing down a mountainside, strapped to a board- _No_.

“No?” Anna’s quiet voice brought her to her senses, and Elsa realised she’d spoken aloud.

“I… I don’t know.” She felt a tightness in her chest at the thought of it - whether “it” meant being back on the ice, or being away from it, she couldn’t tell. At times, she’d be able to visualise herself flying around the rink, taking turns so quickly she was almost lying flat. Other times, she’d look out the window at the fallen snow and break out in a cold sweat, shoulders tense, hands trembling.

Kristin’s voice derailed her train of thought, “That’s alright. You’ve got plenty of time to think this sort of stuff over.” She paused briefly, a quiet, thoughtful “Hmm…” breaking the silence. She flicked through some of the materials in her head, before looking through the options on the screen beside her. “I tell you what. It’ll be a bit heavier, but we’ll go with the stronger material. Then you’ll have a bit of a head start if you do decide that’s what you want to get back to. Sound good?”

Elsa nodded, grateful for the option, but she couldn’t help but feel ashamed in her hesitance to return to her previous passion. Kristin excused herself momentarily, squaring up to the computer and entering additional information, starting up the printer. Anna crouched down beside Elsa, still keeping a grip on the support bar. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Sure?” Anna scooted closer, her voice low, “When you said ‘no’… you don’t want to do any winter sports again?”

“I… I don’t know. I miss it, but… I…” Elsa sighed, “I don’t know.”

Anna held her forearm and gave it a light squeeze, “It’s alright. Let’s… let’s just focus on getting you back on your feet, huh?”

Elsa nodded, giving her sister a wan smile. _“Small steps, Elsa,” Ms. Solberg reminded her, a matronly expression on her face, even after a tearful Elsa had punched a pillow out of frustration, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”_

Her attention was drawn back to Kristin and her printer, as she slowly watched a clear plastic shape appeared, one that looked suspiciously like her stump.

“Now that is cool.” Anna watched as the socket began to take shape. It took only a few minutes before the process was complete, and after a bit of jiggling, Kristin had removed it from the printer. She pushed herself across the room on her swivel chair, collecting various bits and pieces before making her way back to the girls.

“Okay. There’re a few steps to this. I’ll explain it, then talk you through, then you keep doing it until you’re happy. Alright?” When Elsa nodded, her curiosity growing by the second, Kristin handed a leaflet to Anna so she could follow along, before she explained all the various socks, pins and other attachments that she had gathered in her lap. There was certainly a lot to take in, but it didn’t take long before Elsa was fairly confident in what she was doing.

“So… the gel sock goes o- damn, air bubble, hold on… gah, this feels weird. Okay, gel sock on… then this one… and then the socket?”

“Right,” Kristin grinned, holding the clear plastic socket in front of her, “this is just a test, to make sure the shape’s okay. If all goes well, you can go grab a coffee or something while I get the final thing sorted.”

Anna started wriggling in her chair, unable to contain her excitement any longer, “Let’s go, come on! Plug her in!”

“I’m not a robot, Anna.” Elsa smirked, holding onto the seat of the chair as Kristin pushed the socket onto her leg.

“How does it feel?”

“… bizarre. A bit snug, but… sorta comfy too.” Elsa flexed her knee a bit, testing the weight, surprised at how quickly she had gotten used to carrying less weight around.

“All normal, don’t worry,” Kristin took a closer look at the fit, testing various bits, before removing the socket. There was some to-and-fro’ing, as she make slight tweaks here and there, but it wasn’t long before Elsa and Anna were waiting in the café, the latter brimming with excitement.

“Just think - soon you’ll be able to ditch the crutches and do all the stuff you were doing before!” Anna pushed the handle of her coffee mug from side to side, grinning at Elsa with a thin milk moustache. Elsa was somewhat more cautious in her optimism.

“I don’t know about _that_ ,” she replied, passing Anna a napkin. Elsa paused briefly, before her voice took on a hint of optimism, “But… if I could start using just one crutch, that’d be nice.” Anna’s grin grew, upper lip wiped clean. It was obvious to Anna that her sister still had her doubts, still worried about the future, but she’d been _trying_ to remain as upbeat as she could, and that was enough for Anna. Their luck was changing; she could feel it in her bones. Or maybe it was the receding winter cold. Who could say?

The pair sat in comfortable silence, watching the others in the caféteria as time slowly crept by. It was another half an hour before Anna saw Kristin over Elsa’s shoulder.

“Come on you two; moment of truth!”

* * *

“Need a hand?” Kristoff glanced over at Elsa in the passenger seat, as she opened her door.

“No, I’m al-… alright,” She gave him a bemused frown as he quickly rounded the front of the car, hand extended. “I just gotta sort myself out.” Kristoff nodded, lowering his hand but hesitating to leave the door until she was out of the car and steady on her crutches. He continued to the boot, pulling out the small duffel and meeting up with Anna on the other side of the car.

“Got everything from the car? I gotta get to work, so-”

“Go, go!” Anna grinned, chucking her arms around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss, “Call me on _aaaall_ your breaks.”

Kristoff kissed Anna once more, lingering somewhat, before coming up with a goofy look on his face, “I will. Have a good weekend. You too, Long John Silver.” He gave the roof of his car a slap, throwing a cheeky wink at Elsa.

“ _Hey!_ Don’t make me come over there.”

“Sorry Els’, don’t have enough time to wait,” he teased, hopping into the car and starting it up again. He lowered the passenger side window, leaning down to meet Elsa’s narrowed eyes. “You know you love me really.”

“Shut up.”

Kristoff kept eye contact with her, fluttering his eyes until he saw the corner of Elsa’s lip _finally_ give in and rise into a quirky smile. He shouted his farewells from the car window, pulling away from the side of the road and driving to work. Anna looked over at her sister from the side of the street, and couldn’t help but grin at her stood in the road, eyes still narrowed.

 _Two_ feet on the ground.

“You gonna stand there and scowl at him until he gets back, or are you going to come inside?” She shouldered the duffel bag, walking alongside her sister up the path to the house.

The driveway was empty; Gerda and Kai had helped the girls to clear the Arendelle kitchen, and had volunteered to take almost half the living room and kitchen to the local charity shops. Kai had also gone through the study with a trusted work colleague of their father’s, emptying the small room of all but Agdar’s personal possessions and documents relating to the house. Subsequently, the bedrooms were the only rooms left to conquer, but Anna had suggested taking a few days off before hitting all three head on; Elsa had happily agreed.

There was a thud, followed by a flump, as Anna dropped the duffel on the living room floor and fell backwards onto the sofa. She looked at her sister, upside down, feet swinging in time to the clock on the wall, “… so what shall we do?”

“I dunno,” Elsa flopped slightly more gracefully - but not by much - into the armchair, “what d’you wanna do?”

“I dunno, what do you want to do?”

“I du- never mind. Uhm…” Elsa’s eyebrows furrowed as she pondered what they might do with their afternoon. She was tired, but strangely energized, and as quaint and lovely as the house was she’d seen enough of it to last a lifetime. She felt like she should do something, now that she _could_ , but what?

“We could go into town, I guess. There must be something to do there.”

Anna absently nodded, her brow furrowed. Despite her best efforts, she could only think of the things they used to do when they found themselves with a free afternoon. They might go for walks in the hills behind the house - Anna refused to even entertain that idea anymore. Or they’d go to the mountains, wave the logo on their sporting kit and enjoy a free day in the snow. If they were lucky, Mama would be able to join them. If they were _very_ lucky, Papa would too.

Anna was so deep in thought that she had to ask Elsa to repeat her suggestion.

“We could go to the fjord; we can get lunch on the way.” Elsa gave her a small shrug, “Not sure when Kai and Gerda and getting back though, if we’re going to ask them to take us.”

Anna’s furrowed brow slowly smoothed out, the corners of her lips following in a huge, rather mischievous grin, “Oh. We don’t need to wait for them.”

* * *

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.”

Anna let out a disbelieving noise, locking the shed door and wandering back into the house to replace the key, “This is payback! That’s what this is!”

“Payback?” Elsa muttered to herself, casting a wary eye over Anna’s bicycle, the bright, almost luminous green glowing in the snow. She frowned, wondering what on Earth she had done to warrant such payback; Anna happily filled her in as she shoved a helmet into Elsa’s stomach.

“Yes. _Payback._ For you chucking us down a hill in a wheelchair.”

“…oh.”

“Yes, _oh._ C’mon.” Anna smirked, her chin jutted out as she clipped on her own helmet, making her smirk that much more self-satisfied. She picked the bike up and took the lead, walking along the side of the house, “You’ve got your bag?”

Elsa nodded; she and Anna had found an old hiking rucksack with walking pole loops just big enough that they could stash Elsa’s crutches away, leaving her hands free to hold onto either Anna or the bike as they careened along the road. They’d also packed pretty much everything that the physio had given them, as well as snacks in case they ran out of time and needed to bypass lunch to catch sunset at the fjord.

Anna set the bike back down on the ground on the other side of the fence, holding onto the handlebars and grinning at her sister, “On y’hop.”

Elsa frowned before cautiously - albeit rather awkwardly - slingling her right leg over the seat, wincing as her sparkly-new prosthetic kicked the fence. Anna snorted, biting her lip, before adjusting the bike slightly to try and help. Elsa finally got herself seated on the bike, holding onto the fence as Anna stored the crutches. “Right!” Anna grinned, carefully hopping over the bike frame and onto the pedals, “Let’s go!”

Anna pumped her legs hard, steering them onto the road, which was thankfully clear of snow. Elsa squealed, unable to push herself clear of the seat as the bike made its way over the edge of the pavement with a thud. Anna shouted back an apology, but couldn’t help but laugh, the adrenaline suddenly pumping through her veins making her feel giddy with excitement. She cycled hard and fast, her sister’s grip on her waist a distant memory. The bite of the cold air against her face, whistling past her ears… the sense of freedom she had easily overrode the burning in her thighs, already aching from exertion.

It was only when she found herself freewheeling that she remembered that they lived on a hill.

Her grin faltered when she realised Elsa’s previously light grip had become a death grip; her face was no longer peeking over her shoulder, rather buried into the fur lining of Anna’s hood. Gently, Anna worked the back brake to slow them down, carefully navigating the few remaining lumps of snow in the road, timing the descent perfectly so that she came out of the road long after the traffic had passed, before braking to a somewhat graceful stop on the main road.

Unwilling to let go of the handlebars lest the bike topple over and ruin such a perfect landing, Anna leaned back slightly, turning to look over her shoulder, “Elsa? We’re down.” Not feeling any movement behind her, she carefully released on of the bar and reached around to cover one of Elsa’s hands, giving it a squeeze. “Hey, it’s alright, come on,” She felt Elsa’s grip loosening slightly, and Anna managed to extricate her coat from her sister’s hand, replacing it with her own. “You’re safe, don’t worry,” she began softly, “I won’t go so fast again, I promise.”

Anna felt a nod against her back and smiled, taking control of the handlebars again, “It’s pretty flat from here on out. You happy to get going again?” Another nod, although Anna noted the slight hesitation. “Alright. Off we go.”

* * *

After a few miles - at a _far_ more comfortable pace - Anna came to yet another perfect stop outside a small sandwich shop in town, drawn to it by the smell of freshly baked bread. Elsa’s head had popped back up from her hideaway after a couple of minutes on flat terrain, and both she and Anna took a deep breath in as they sat outside.

“Lunch?”

“Lunch.”

Anna grinned, pedalling a few feet more so that they could use a nearby lamppost as a support, Elsa slipping off the back of the bike first, Anna hopping off with a groan and a chuckle, “Ooooh boy… maybe we can get a cab back. My knees are _done._ ” She laughed as Elsa held out a crutch to her, swatting it away, “Thanks, but I’d rather not be responsible for you tripping up over yourself.”

“Why don’t you go in and grab some sandwiches, I’ll stay here with the bike. Besides, I need to stretch out the cramp in my butt.”

“I hold no responsibility for you being unable to sit down for the next week!” Anna grinned sweetly, before heading inside the bakery. The scent of fresh bread exploded out of the bakery door, and Elsa couldn’t help but close her eyes for a moment as she inhaled. She looked through the window; through the glass, Elsa could see Anna practically drooling at the array of meats and fillings in the shop’s display, wildly pointing at the various items to make a sandwich fit for a king. Elsa’s stomach rumbled in response, eliciting a chuckle. Glancing further up the street, she reacquainted herself with the variety of small businesses - cafés, a ridiculous number of fishmongers surrounding a single bait shop, a bookshop, and-

“Oh my.”

Slowly wheeling the bike further down the street, Elsa came to a halt in front of a shop that she was sure used to be a café; her eyes widened as she peered in through the window at the perfectly laid out displays containing their delicacies, inhaling deeply as the door opened to allow a customer leave.

“Mmmmm…. _chocolate._ ”

“Elsa?”

She tore her gaze from the shop front, expecting to see Anna. Instead, she saw nothing but empty street. She heard her name again, and turned around to face the opposite direction, and a face she definitely hadn’t expected to see. “Mikkel?”

“It _is_ you! Holy crap, how are you?” The burly 20-something dropped his backpack and pulled her into a bear hug, almost lifting her off the floor, “Still got your cute little wonky grin?”

Elsa’s raised eyebrow was firmly in place by the time Mikkel put her back down, hands on her upper arms, grinning. She couldn’t keep her serious face for too long, as she answered his question in more than one way, “It’s not _cute._ ”

Mikkel chuckled as the “not cute” grin surfaced, “Uh huh. I told you it might make your eyebrow thing less potent though.” He cast his gaze over Elsa as she rolled her eyes, “How are you? It’s been so long since we saw you… your friend’s house, after you got home, right? That was the last time?”

Elsa gave him a small shrug, “Yeah. I’ve… I’ve not really seen anyone since then.”

“How have you been? What have you been up to?” Elsa swallowed slightly, her gaze dipping towards the ground. Mikkel’s hands fell slightly from her arms, and he tilted his head curiously, “Elsa?”

“I’ve… I’ve been okay, y’know? Just… busy, doing stuff. Hospital appointments, and physio, and… stuff.” She could never tell him- _any_ of them just how close she’d come to never seeing any of them again. She couldn’t burden anyone else with her screw up; she was better now, up and about, and _that’s_ what they needed to see. That’s what they _had_ to see.

Mikkel’s warm smile was tinged with concern, but he didn’t press her further, “Well, I’m really glad to see you out of hospital. And _walking!_ When did this happen?”

“Last week,” came Anna’s voice from behind them, as she slung her free arm around Mikkel’s neck in a semi-hug, holding the sandwiches out of harm’s way.

“Anna!” Mikkel clapped her on the back, grinning widely, “I come to this quaint little place to visit my folks and I run into both of you?”

“That answers my question,” Anna grinned, pulling back from the hug and standing by her sister, “How have you been? How’s everyone been? It’s been ages since we saw you.”

“I’m alright, competitions are slowing down now, just a bit of quiet time before training starts up again. Are you guys coming back? Please say you’ll be coming back.” Mikkel cringed slightly, “I… I know we’ve not kept in touch. And I’m really sorry about that. A few of us, we thought maybe you needed some time, you know, to recover, get yourself sorted out, but… I dunno, how much time is long enough, y’know?”

The girls looked between each other. Neither of them had been any good at looking for support, and both were even worse when it came to _asking_ for it. They couldn’t really blame their teammates for not offering their help at some point, but… the dozens of people who had welcomed them back to Norway had all but disappeared a few days later. Sure, they didn’t all live next door, but there hadn’t been a phone call, a video message…. Anna couldn’t help but feel slightly hurt by that. Elsa merely shrugged, which told Anna all she needed to know about how her older sister felt.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” Elsa’s gaze dipped again, and Anna took her hand as a distraction.

“Listen Mikkel, we uh… we’re heading off to eat lunch, soo…”

“Oh! Of course, I’m sorry, don’t let me hold you up. I tell you what,” he suddenly thrust forward a bag, filled with chocolates from the shop Elsa had been drooling over, “go and enjoy your lunch, I’ll let Henning know to keep you updated with the training schedules and stuff, and you call me if you need anything. My number’s still the same.” He didn’t let the bag drop until Elsa took hold of it, despite her protestations, before pulling them both back into a bear hug again, “It’s _really_ good to see you guys.”

“You too, Mikkel. Thanks for the chocolates.” Elsa smiled as the hug broke up, politely declining Mikkel’s many offers to help them with their bags while they were in town, painfully aware of The Look Mikkel was casting over her and her crutches.

Anna finally managed to send him on his way, before zipping the sandwiches and chocolate into Elsa’s backpack. “If we hurry, we can still catch sunset,” Anna picked up the bike, steering it back onto the road and up against the lamppost, patting the seat, “Still up to it?”

Elsa nodded, putting her crutches away and hopping up onto the seat, “Sure. If you’ve recovered from the first leg of this journey, that is.”

* * *

“Thiff waff a grea’ i’ea.”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, Anna.” She smiled slightly as her younger sister dramatically rolled her eyes, gulping down her bite of sandwich.

“ _I said_ … this was a great idea. Even if it is a bit cold.”

“Well, we can head somewhere else-”

“Yeah, but then we wouldn’t have _this view_.” Anna waved a hand out to the fjord, mouth once again clamped around her sandwich.

The winter chill was definitely a small price to pay for the view laid out before them. The fjord was still mostly frozen over, glistening in the low light and trapping the flotilla of fishing and pleasure boats in the harbour. The water nearest the shoreline was artificially warmed to protect their hulls, leaving a thin layer of steam laying atop the water, yellow-tinted in the glow of the setting sun. A lone plane could be seen flying into the local airport, one of only a few that flew round trips each day. Apart from the noise from the plane’s engines and the occasional crunch of lettuce in Anna’s sandwich, the harbour was fairly quiet.

“Els’?”

“Hmm?”

“… about what happened earlier. On the bike.”

“Don’t worry about it, Anna, honestly,” she brushed off, popping another chocolate into her mouth, “I can’t exactly blame you for speeding-”

“No, I meant… well, okay, I did mean that, but… I didn’t mean to _scare_ you. I didn’t think, I just- … I dunno what I thought. I probably wasn’t thinking.”

“It… I don’t know, it just felt a bit too familiar. I guess I panicked.”

Anna frowned slightly, turning to face her, “I thought you said you couldn’t remember anything that happened? Like, that whole _day_.”

“Well, no, I can’t remember specific things, like I wouldn’t be able to tell you what I had for breakfast that morning, but… it _felt_ familiar. I had this kind of… feeling of dread.”

Anna dropped her sandwich to her lap, swallowing hard, “Oh geez, Els’ I’m sorry-”

“Honestly, Anna,” Elsa smiled at her, “It’s okay. You weren’t to know. I didn’t know. Just… take it a little slower next time, alright?”

Anna reached over, hugging Elsa around the waist, “You got it. I’ve had my payback and _then_ some.” She gave Elsa’s waist a squeeze, before shoving herself back up to sitting, shifting over to chomp her sandwich directly in her sister’s ear.

“Ew, Anna.”

“Whapf?”

“Ew.”

“Whaaaapf- oh loo’!” Anna elbowed Elsa, pointing towards the sun as it began to set in the mouth of the fjord. “If’ph fo- so _awesome_.”

Elsa chuckled, looking back out towards the fjord, nibbling on her own sandwich as the sun dipped below the horizon. It only took a matter of seconds before the temperature plummeted, sending a chill through Anna’s spine, “Okay… not so awesome now.”

“Time to head home?”

“Or at least somewhere _warm_. Coffee?”

“Sounds good.” Elsa wrapped up the remainder of her sandwich, bundling it and the rest of the chocolates into her backpack, before taking Anna’s proffered hands to pull herself up.

“D’you think Kai’ll come pick us up? I didn’t think this whole cycling thing through too well. Maybe we could find one of those old timey bikes, y’know with the two seats? _Way_ more comfortable.”


	26. Recollections

The air was no more than a dull roar as it rushed past her, muffled by the flaps of her beanie and the elastic strap of her goggles. Her vision was clear; the snow wasn’t heavy enough to fall this far down, she’d left it all behind at the starting gate. The small patches of steam around the inside edges of the lenses had dissipated; even after so many years, she was never able to completely calm her breathing before a run. The excitement was always too much.

She could see the first trick coming up. It seemed miles away. In reality, it was only seconds, but in her mind it felt like minutes. She straightened up, putting slightly more weight onto her left leg whilst still maintaining a central position above the board. A fraction of a second later and the weight was transferred to her right leg, the slight bend in her knee acting as a tightly coiled spring as she pushed up, the release of energy sending her up into the air in just the right amount of time to clear the end of the bar. Gravity kicked in, pulling her down onto the bar, and she felt the slight resistance of the beaten metal through the board underneath her feet, the noise of metal against carbon fiber and whatever else was in her board added to the mix.

As the front edge of the board lined up with the end of the ramp in her field of vision, she kicked up again, using the slight height difference of the bar to the snow to give her more momentum, angling the board toward slightly to reduce the friction as she made contact with the snow. She could feel bumps in the snow as if she were barefoot on gravel, rather than wearing heavy boots and thick socks. The slight imperfections stuck out like mountains underneath her board, marking where her competitors hadn’t been quite so clean with their landings.

She could be happy about that later.

Now she had to maintain her focus. Adjusting her course to line up with the first of two jumps, she crouched lower to the board, lowering her centre of gravity and reducing the wind resistance as she sailed over the edge of the snow covered artificial ramp. Taking a mental note of her body position, she relaxed her shoulders, keeping her core tight, as she kicked out her back foot, her front foot following, grabbing the edge of the board and stretching out her right leg even further, her right arm acting as a counterbalance to try and prevent any over rotation which might affect her landing.

She stuck the landing well, although the shock wave that traveled up her legs upon hitting the snow felt different. She couldn’t think why. Sparing a second to look down at the board, she saw nothing that prompted her to stop short, no obvious reason to worry. She decided to play it safe however, using a couple of small turns to reduce her speed; still enough to land a fairly good trick, but just enough to stop her from wiping out if there was dirty snow on the other side of the ramp.

She jumped, she landed. At least she was fairly certain she did. Did she perform a trick in the air? She assumed so, the tone of the announcer’s voice made it sound as though she did. The crowd though, they were… different. There were no cheers. In fact, she couldn’t hear anything.

No, wait. She could hear ringing, ringing in her ears. Loud, like someone had used her head as a mallet for a gong. And was that a thunderclap? There’d been no hint of a lightning storm, but the crack had been so close, she could have been throwing the bolts herself. She couldn’t see a storm- then again, she couldn’t really see _anything_. Just vague suggestions of colour. White, orange, white again, green, _more_ green. Red. Black.

Everything was so disjointed, nothing made sense. The cacophony around her; were there voices in there? She couldn’t make out individual sounds, they were hazy, blended… and then gone, as if she had been sucked into a vacuum. It wasn’t just the sound that had been sucked away; there wasn’t enough air, her chest was screaming as she struggled to take in a lungful of air worthy of the effort she was having to put in. And then came the terrifying feeling of fingers crawling all over her skin, her arms, chest, legs…

Elsa sat up ramrod straight in bed, the sound of her own panicked inhales as loud as the air had been past her ears, every inch of her body aching with remembered pain. Her head was pounding, her arm throbbing, her ribs crying out as her chest expanded far beyond what was comfortable, until she was finally able to breathe out. Palms slick with sweat, she grabbed at the bedcovers, trying to ground herself in the present, not lose herself in the past.

It had either worked a lot better than she’d imagined, or she’d hyperventilated her way into momentary oblivion. The twisting pain in her arm instantly became a dull ache, further relieved by loosening her grip on the duvet. Her breathing was calmer, but her throat was dry and gritty. Elsa swallowed hard to try and encourage some moisture, but with each failed attempt her skull pounded in reprisal.

She put up with it for the moment, closing her eyes and forcing her shoulders to drop from up near her ears. Elsa focused on her breathing, counting the breaths in and out, the gaps in between, calming herself slowly but surely. As her body began to relax, she opened her eyes again, briefly startled by the total darkness. As she waited for her eyes to adjust again she reached over, tapping the clock by the side of the bed. The relatively blinding lights appeared, causing Elsa to wince momentarily before the time became clear. 03:28am.

The time winked out, returning the room to darkness. The small movement had caused Elsa’s previously loose t-shirt to tug on her skin, and she quickly realised the garment was drenched in sweat, which had began - rather unpleasantly - to roll down her chest and back. Night vision somewhat restored, she scooted to the edge of the bed and immediately regretted it. Despite how “snug” and “comfy” it had been initially, Elsa had quickly realised just how immature her stump was, especially when it had swollen to the point she’d almost been unable to remove her prosthetic. She’d learned her lesson. Her knee was sore, her stump was sore, and to top it all off, her butt was sore from that _damn bike_.

She let out a deep sigh, but cut herself off when she realised just how loud she was in the otherwise silent room. Looking over her shoulder, she caught a glimpse of Anna, sprawled out in her, covers almost off the side, hair everywhere, drool glistening in the low light. Satisfied that her younger sister was sound asleep, she began the somewhat undignified process of crawling across the floor to the chest of drawers, and the small stool sat alongside. Or rather, _she_ thought it was undignified. Anna thought it was entirely practical. So did her physiotherapist. And Rapunzel. And… she had to admit - at least only to herself in the dead of night - it _was_ easier than faffing around with crutches for short trips.

Grabbing a clean t-shirt and pyjama shorts, she snuck from the bedroom to the bathroom, closing each door quietly behind her. She used the elongated pull cord to turn on the bathroom light, before pulling herself up to sit on the lid of the toilet, turning on the tap and waiting for the hot water to run through. As she waited, her mind was drawn back to her dream. Nightmare, whatever. It wasn’t the first time she’d had a dream like it, but it was certainly the most vivid she’d had, the most detailed. For weeks, she’d been completely unable to recall anything of that day, relying on testimony of others to try and piece together her accident. Her dreams had been fragmented images, sounds, not much more. But even now she was still missing a vital piece. What had happened after that second jump? Had something gone wrong with the board? Had she made an error on landing?

Coach Henning had sent her an email with the results of the investigation long ago; she’d be grateful he’d had the foresight to send it to Anna as well, her own inbox had pretty much exploded when she’d opened it for the first time in weeks. _Cause: Undetermined_. No one or thing specific to blame. Just… luck of the draw. Karma, perhaps. She’d had it so good for so long, and then…

Elsa sighed, hitting off the tap just as the water began to bubble into the overflow. With practiced skill and a towel underfoot, she doffed her pyjamas and washed away the nightmare, relishing in the feeling of the near scalding water against her skin. Several minutes later and she felt almost human again, tugging on a clean set of pyjamas and hanging the towel over the edge of the bath; she would put it in its _proper_ place at a proper time of morning.

Working her way back through the corridors, her pace slowed by her lack of night vision, she made her way back to bed. She didn’t make it very far under the covers before noticing that it wasn’t only her pyjamas that had been drenched in sweat; the single bed didn’t provide much room to maneuver, and she wasn’t going to change the covers at almost 4am.

Leaning against the side of the bed, she pondered her next move. Her hand brushed against something soft; she reached further up towards the end of the bed and worked out it was her hoody, originally left at the end of the bed for the morning. She tugged it on, shivering slightly against the temporary chill of the material, before it sapped the excess warmth of her wash. As she warmed up she felt her eyelids drooping, but she was in no hurry to get back into her bed. Instead, she grabbed her phone from the side of the bed, slipping it into her pocket and heading back out on hands and knees. She went in the opposite direction this time, carefully scooting along the short corridor towards the living room, being as light as possible on her sore knee as soft-ish carpet turned to solid wooden floor.

Curling up on the sofa, Elsa watched the clock on the wall, as the big hand slowly crept past the hour. The rhythmic sound of the pendulum’s swing gave her something to focus on as she closed her eyes, praying to whoever might listen, for the remainder of the morning to pass by in dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet; I tried to segue into another scene, but it didn't feel right.
> 
> I'd like to take a moment to say a huge thank you to those of you who are reading this; I'm really glad you're still here and enjoying it! <3


	27. Downstairs, Upstairs

“I don’t remember this one,” Anna reached up and carefully removed the small trophy from the shelf, gently blowing the dust from the plaque. “2nd place? Second? Elsa,” she turned on her heel, her expression one of mock horror, “ _Second?_ ”

“I was six,” Elsa stated plainly, eyebrow raised and hand extended. She was sat on the end of her bed, a box by her feet and packing materials by her side, as they started sorting through the top floor of the Arendelle house.

“Still,” Anna took a step closer to pass her the trophy. “ _Second,_ ” she teased, her voice hushed as if uttering a bad word. She grinned at Elsa’s eye roll, before turning back to the wall, running her hand along the edge of the shelf, reading the various plaques, plates and medals. There were others there that weren’t first, but they were few and far between. Elsa had always excelled at pretty much anything she put her mind to, something Anna had always admired about her sister. And _occasionally_ felt jealous about.

Her hand came to rest by the oldest trophy of them all; she picked up one of the pieces that she had rescued from the floor the last time she’d been in her sister’s room, rolling it between her fingers, “You’re not going to keep them boxed up, right?”

“Huh?” Elsa ripped off a piece of tape with her teeth to secure the bubble wrap around the first trophy, looking up at her.

Anna turned around, trying to work out how the few pieces in her hand fit together, “Are you going to leave these all in a box, or are you going to put them on show again?”

“I hadn’t really thought about it,” Anna didn’t believe that for a second, as she watched Elsa taking her time delicately arranging the parcels in the box, “There’s not much point keeping them on show. Besides, there’s not enough room in our room, so.”

Anna narrowed her eyes, staring at the top of Elsa’s head. It was an excuse,  but unfortunately it was a somewhat valid one. Anna hummed in response, “Maybe we can make room?” Elsa gave her a non-committal shrug, holding out her hands for the next trophy. Anna took a step closer, passing the pieces over. “What happened to that one, anyway?”

“Oh, I fe- fell.” Elsa winced the second the word escaped her mouth, not having to look at Anna to know what expression she had on her face.

“You _fell?_ When? Why did you tell me- were you okay? _Are_ you o-”

“I’m _fine_ , Anna,” Elsa held onto Anna’s hands for a brief moment, stopping her tirade, “And I _was_ fine. I didn’t have my crutches to hand, I was holding the trophy, I fell over. I haven’t since.” She watched Anna’s horrified face relax slightly, Anna’s narrowed eyes trying to bore through and into her sister’s head, “I promise.”

“… okay.” Anna relinquished the pieces, watching as Elsa twirled them round in her fingers just as she had. “Kristoff might have something to fix that. Or Kai.”

Elsa shrugged slightly, “Maybe… I’ll ask.” She wrapped the trophy up, placing it into the box, before holding a hand out for the next. It took a while to pack up the contents of the shelves, but hardly any time at all to work through the remainder of her room. Elsa didn’t tend to hold onto things without a reason, and given that she was already fairly well organised meant that transferring things from drawers or wardrobes into boxes was a simple task.

Anna’s room on the other hand…

“I will never understand how you can find anything in here-” Elsa started folding Anna’s bundled clothing as she transferred it into boxes.

“Hey, everything has it’s place,” she said, picking up a pile of clothes from a drawer and dropping them unceremoniously into a box, causing Elsa’s nose to scrunch up, “Just because you don’t know where it is, doesn’t mean I don’t know.” Anna managed to clear out her drawers in a matter of minutes, stopping occasionally to mumble, “So _that’s_ where it went!”.

Elsa left her to it, looking over the room and wondering where on Earth to try and clear next. Her gaze fell upon the desk; the piles of junk on top of it had been shuffled about since she had last been there, but she could still see the headed paper that had spurred her into action not long ago - albeit not the right course of action. “Anna,” she heard the slightly echoed reply, as Anna was rummaging through her small closet, “Why didn’t you say you’d applied to go to university?”

There was a pause, followed by a _fmmp_ as the clothes in Anna’s hands landed in the box by her feet, “I guess… I kinda wanted it to be a surprise? Well, no,” she stepped over the box and back into the room, looking around at the barely organised chaos, “I suppose I wanted to make sure I _had_ got in before I told everyone. Not, ‘Oh hey, I applied!’ and then a month later, ‘Oh hey, I got rejected!’”

She sat down heavily on the bed, continuing to avoid Elsa’s gaze, “Besides, Canada was coming up, I didn’t want to distract you from your training and stuff. It wasn’t until they called me after… when we were in hospital that I actually _remembered_ about the course.”

Anna chuckled despite it all, sheepishly sweeping a braid over her shoulder to fiddle with. Elsa crossed the small space and sat down on the bed facing her, but said nothing. Anna’s gaze flicked up to meet Elsa’s, before she began inspecting the end of her braid again, “They gave me the option of starting in January, and I said yeah, thinking we’d be back home and…”

Anna’s hands dropped from her braid into her lap, “I figured Mama and Papa would be here to help. The uni said I could live at home instead of on-campus, so I’d help afterwards, at weekends… I guess I forgot about it after a while.”

“… could you still go?”

“Nah,” Anna sounded resigned, a tone Elsa had heard too often as of late, “I’d have to reapply for September again, and… I’m not sure if I want to go anymore. Not right now, anyway… maybe some other time. It’s not like it’s going anywhere.” There was that sad chuckle again. Elsa watched as Anna’s shoulders slumped with a heavy sigh.

“I’m sorry. You could be studying right now if I hadn’t…” Elsa trailed off, suddenly acutely aware of the slim bracelet around her wrist, a reminder of all that she had to make up to her sister, “… if I hadn’t been an idiot.”

“Perhaps,” Anna said as she drew herself back once more, finally meeting Elsa’s gaze. Anna hadn’t meant to sound bitter, but Elsa was right. She might very well be studying right now- well, maybe not studying, but at least at university, something she was sure few people would believe she was capable of. But she really _wasn’t_ sure she wanted to go right now, she just couldn’t pinpoint why. “But like I said, it’s not going anywhere. Life’s too short to be cooped up with a bunch of books like a nerd, anyway.” Anna smirked slightly, giving Elsa a poke to go with the verbal dig.

Elsa smiled wanly back, but didn’t want to let her sister off the hook that easily. She had far too much potential to waste it hanging around her, “Just… promise me you’ll think about it? Not right now if you don’t want to, but… closer to September.”

Anna’s smirk morphed into a small smile, and she looked down at the bed again as she nodded. She saw Elsa’s hand come into view and take hers, giving it a small squeeze. Anna squeezed back, her smile slowly growing in sincerity, before she slipped off the bed, letting go of her sister’s hand. “Best keep going… this closet’s not going to empty itself!”

Elsa pushed herself up as well, her voice low, “If only it could, it might do a better job.” Anna threw a bundled pair of socks at her head in reply.

* * *

Elsa’s hand automatically raised in a lightly clenched fist, and she only just caught herself before she knocked on the door to her parents’ room. Instead, she opened her hand and ran her fingers down the smooth wood, before coming to a stop just above the handle. Anna was hovering over her shoulder, the air was thick with tension and Kristoff was already back to collect box number three from Anna’s room.

Taking a deep breath, Elsa took a firm grasp of the handle and made her way inside. The room was as neat and tidy as they’d expected, but when Anna pulled back the thick curtains, the dust in the room became obvious. The small table under the window was coated, the carpet and bed linen looked dull, the full length mirror in the corner had lost its gleam.

They both paused for a moment, coming to stand side by side at the foot of the bed. It wasn’t as if they’d _never_ been in the room before - both of them had had their turn hidden under the covers during a thunderstorm - but there was something different about it this time. There was a hallowed air to the room, and the longer they stood there the more difficult the task ahead of them seemed to become. Elsa was the first to make a move, placing a gentle hand on Anna’s shoulder, “Come on. Let’s get started.”

Anna nodded, tearing her gaze from the bed. She left the room briefly to collect the vacuum cleaner - she had learnt from her mistake in the living room - checking on Kristoff in the meantime. Even after an intense weekend of work, he had volunteered to help remove the boxes they had filled with their belongings, ready to provide moral support if they needed it. Their parents’ room was the last room in the house to be cleared and probably had a fraction of what their own rooms had held, but Kristoff was pretty certain it would take a _lot_ longer to work through.

As Anna began to hoover up the dust, Elsa glanced around the room and tried to formulate a plan. Opening one of the two closets, she was greeted with a wall of her father’s clothes. Running a hand over the mix of fabric, Elsa picked up the occasional trace of her father’s aftershave, a scent she had almost forgotten. Carefully, as if it would fall apart if she moved too quickly, Elsa pulled the cuff of one of his favourite shirts to her face, inhaling the bizarre, yet still soothing scent of mothballs, aftershave and detergent.

The sound of vacuuming came to a sudden stop, and Anna left the small unit in the corner of the room. She made her way over to Elsa just as she lowered the shirt sleeve. “This is going to be _hard,_ ” Elsa said quietly, playing with the fabric in her fingers.

“Yeah,” Anna looked over the tiny portion of the huge task that stood before them, “… but we got this. C’mon, help me get this box down.”

They had already decided that they would donate whatever they decided to get rid of, as they had done with a lot of the other items in the house. Unfortunately, it had been a lot easier in the other rooms.

“Oh wow, I remember this!” Anna laughed as she pulled out a Jul jumper from one of her father’s shelves, laying it out on the bed alongside the rest of the items they had already sorted through. “I never thought someone could look horrified and happy at the same time.” The jumper was a hideous, almost fluorescent red, plastered in poorly knitted Santas, reindeers and trees. Anna had just hit double digits the year that Idunn had presented Agdar with the jumper; they had decided to give each other nothing but home-made gifts that year… and had never attempted it again.

Elsa grinned, flicking one of the bobbles that littered the front of the jumper, “His face was a picture. At least his present to Mama was a little more practical.” She glanced over to the bedside table at the slightly crooked, but still usable jewellery box that he had handcrafted - and almost lost his little finger over.

“I’m not sure we could _pay_ for someone to take this away,” Anna smiled, looking the jumper over, checking for any damage. It was still in fairly good condition, a little worn at the edges, but intact. She couldn’t possibly get rid of it. “Maybe we could stick it on a hot wash, shrink it, and frame it,” she chuckled, “As a reminder to never make anything by hand, ever. It’s _clearly_ not in the genes.”

Elsa smirked, taking the folded relic and placing it in their box of things to keep, which surprisingly, they hadn’t already crammed full. “At the very least, we have to get Kristoff to wear it long enough to take a photo.” Anna laughed at her sister’s mischievous look; she wasn’t going to argue against the idea. _Kristoff might though._

Kristoff became the topic of conversation after a little while longer; Elsa had unearthed a few, well worn, but much loved and well cared for thick jumpers, roughly Kristoff’s size. Anna found him a little while later, arranging the boxes he couldn’t pack into his car neatly in the corridor. She wordlessly held a jumper up against his back, sizing it up.

“Wait, what?”

“Just seeing if this would fit you.” Anna used her fingers on his shoulders to keep him in place, before Kristoff turned around to face her, taking the jumper in his hands.

“Well, there’s a better way to find that out,” He pulled his own jumper over his head, pulling his t-shirt back down over his chest. Gently, he took the jumper from Anna’s hands and pulled it on, tugging the bottom down to straighten it out. He flexed his arms a bit, swinging his arms out in front of him, either side of Anna, testing the shoulder width. After a few moments more, he linked his hands behind her and pulled her into a loose hug, “It’s a good fit. Nice and warm too, would be great for work.”

“There’s a couple more upstairs. Different colours,” she smiled slightly, resting her hands on Kristoff’s chest, fiddling slightly with the base of the zipper.

Kristoff lifted her head gently with a finger under her chin, looking down at her, “You two need any help? Any boxes you need me to shift, bad jokes you need me to crack, or… “ Kristoff smiled at her as she chuckled lightly.

“No, we’re… we’re okay, I think. We’re about halfway done going through Papa’s closet… I never realised he had so many suits.”

“Your dad was a dapper guy,” Kristoff nodded; he’d barely seen the man out of a suit in the entire time he’d known Anna, “I’m sure anyone lucky enough to get their hands on one of those suits will be able to feel the kingliness seeping out of it.”

“Kingliness?” Anna grinned, “Is that even a word?”

“Sure it is! It’s… uh, a king-like aura.”

“Uh huh.”

“Uh _huh_.”

“ _Huh_.”

“Uh _huh!_ ” Kristoff’s voice became high-pitched as he defended his use of his probably not-a-word word, making Anna giggle. Leaning down, he gave her a kiss on her nose, smiling warmly, “Go on, go make sure Elsa doesn’t fill the boxes up too much. Light boxes, please. Light is good.”

“Will do.” Anna leaned up for a proper kiss, her hands sliding around his neck to pull him down to her level, up on tip-toes for extra height, “I’ll come and find you again in a bit.” Her hands dropped from his neck and fell back to rest on his chest, as his hands rested on her hips. Seeing him in her father’s jumper was a bit weird; it looked completely different on Kristoff, rugged, but with that classy air her father had always had around him. _Kingliness… sounds about right._

They parted with a chaste kiss, and as Anna started out of the room, Kristoff looked down at himself,  running his hands down the front of the jumper, tugging it out flat by the hem. After a moment’s hesitation, he returned to his work, not realising Anna had paused on the stairs to watch him briefly, before heading back to Elsa. She found her sister sat on the floor, putting pairs of shoes into one of the charity boxes, wrapped up tightly in one of her father’s scarves. Anna slowly sunk to the floor beside her, not drawing attention to her sister’s tear stained cheeks, instead just picking up a pair of shoes and tying the laces together, passing them to Elsa to box up.

“Oh, the uh… the jumper fits him.” Anna only just about saw Elsa’s nod, her head was buried so deeply into the scarf. She chuckled, suddenly realising something, “So I guess that means the ugly jumper will fit too.”

There was a muffled chuckle from within the scarf, and Anna shuffled closer, resting her head on Elsa’s shoulder as she put the last pair of shoes into the box. After a minute, she frowned, sniffing slightly, and she realised why Elsa was wearing the scarf - it still smelled strongly of Agdar’s cologne. Anna took a deep inhale, before resting her head back down on her sister’s shoulder, “Remember when dad would hug us first thing in the morning and you’d spend like, an _hour_ sneezing because his cologne was so strong?” Elsa’s shoulder shook as she chuckled, nodding in response. Anna smiled, looking over the few bits and pieces left to search through, “If we find it, we should hold onto it. For special occasions.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was actually like, twice as long but I can’t get the second half to work right now. Also I thought it had been a lot longer since I last posted something, but I’ve fixed the formatting now, so I can’t not upload. :P
> 
> Also if anyone has a better chapter title, I'm listening. It's 11:47pm and I'm stumped.


	28. Let's Talk About Feelings.

“And how is your house clearance going?” Ms. Solberg leaned backwards in her chair, tugging her skirt over her crossed knees. She sat opposite Elsa, in a worn, dark brown leather wingback chair that looked like something from an 18th century history book. Carefully, she perched her reading glasses on the arm of the chair, interlocking her fingers and resting her hands in her lap. She looked relaxed, comfortable, as she waited for a response to her question.

Her client was stiff as a board by comparison. Knees tightly together in front of her, the fingers of one hand worrying the other, shoulders hunched up by her ears; Elsa couldn’t hold her therapist’s gaze for more than a couple of seconds before she had to look away. Ms. Solberg was nice enough; professional, understanding, but none of that went any way to helping Elsa feel any more comfortable “opening up”. It had taken almost half a dozen appointments for her to stop hugging her waist.

Elsa licked her lips, pushing an errant bang behind her ear before replying, “Uhm… fine. Anna and I, we… we finished our rooms over the weekend,” She hesitated briefly, not looking forward to what questions might soon be heading her way, “We started on our parents’ room yesterday.”

Ms. Solberg waited for a moment, giving Elsa the time to continue if she wanted to, not immediately pressing her for more information. “You’ve done rather well to get through so much in just over a week.”

“Kristoff’s been really great, transporting things back-… back home. Kai, too. And Gerda- I don’t know how she’s finding space for all the boxes,” she said with a small chuckle. “It’ll probably take another few days to finish off,” Elsa’s smile wavered, “it took a whole day to go through Papa’s closet.”

“Oh?”

“We kept… finding things. Hideous Christmas jumpers,” Elsa couldn’t help but chuckle again; he had feigned disgruntlement, but Kristoff had posed for a picture in The Jumper. Elsa was sure he’d done it just to cheer them both up before taking them back to Kai and Gerda’s, and it had been a gesture she had greatly appreciated, “dozens of antique wristwatches… loads of little things we’d given to him as kids, none of his socks were in pairs-”

“What sorts of things?”

Anna had found a box tucked in the back of the closet, no bigger than a shoebox, but an old belt had been used to strap the box shut, crammed full as it was with bits of paper and little trinkets. “There were letters…” A quick glance up and Elsa saw the therapist’s curious eyebrow - few people put pen to paper nowadays. “We’d send him letters when he was away on business trips. We used to video call him too, but… he liked letters. He said they felt more personal.”

“I can understand that. Having something tangible can evoke feelings in a way that technology can’t.” Ms. Solberg saw Elsa’s slight nod, and a quick glance towards the coat rack, “… is that your father’s scarf?” She’d noticed the unfamiliar garment as soon as Elsa had walked through the door and had been curious about it as soon as she’d realised it wasn’t one of Elsa’s usual colours. She watched as Elsa tensed back up again - not that she’d relaxed much in the first place.

“Yeah… it… I found it in the closet.” she swallowed hard, suddenly wishing she hadn’t taken it off before sitting down, “It smells like him.”

Ms. Solberg swung open the proverbial door, “How did you feel, packing away your father’s things?”

Elsa _hated_ this question. How did she _feel_? If she knew the answer to that question, she wouldn’t be sat in a hideous, leather-lined room discussing the minutia of her unremarkable existence. “I don’t know.”

“Mhmm,” came Ms. Solberg’s usual response; she knew Elsa worked with facts, but it was always worth a try. “And how much did you and Anna decide to give to charity?”

“We filled quite a few boxes; suits, trousers, shoes… We saved some stuff for Kristoff, he’s the same size as Papa. Jumpers mostly, for work. We gave the watches to Kai.” He didn’t have the same passion for wristwatches as his late friend, but certainly had an appreciation for them. It had still taken a while for the girls to convince him to accept the gift - even Gerda had had to give him a bit of a nudge. Eventually, he had accepted on the proviso that he was just looking after _their_ investment.

“And what have you kept?”

“Anna found a bottle of his cologne, we’re going to hang on to it for “special occasions”… not that I’m sure what those will be yet, but-”

“Elsa,” Ms. Solberg interjected, “I meant, what have _you_ kept. Personally.”

Elsa looked momentarily like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar, motionless, her eyes wide. A second later her gaze shot to the ceiling, the floor, the window - anywhere that Ms. Solberg wasn’t. “I… the scarf.” A pause. “… Anna said I should keep the box.”

Ms. Solberg nodded, “Did your father write back to you as a child?” Elsa nodded, still avoiding eye contact. “You still have those letters?” Elsa shrugged slightly, but in truth she knew _exactly_ where they were, even with her room filed away into various boxes.

“When you start unpacking your things again, keep an eye out for them, alright?” With a small, non-committal nod, Elsa kept her gaze glued to the floor, listening to the quiet scratching of Ms. Solberg’s pen at work. There was a slight pause; Elsa looked up and caught the therapist glancing at her watch, and hoped their time was coming to an end.

“Alright, let’s have a look at your safety plan before we finish up.” She pulled a piece of paper out from Elsa’s file, crisp and neat, covered with tidy edits, and the occasional sticky note. Elsa’s copy on the other hand had been folded and unfolded so many times, stuffed after pocket after pocket that even Anna might’ve suggested rewriting it. “So. How are your coping strategies working out?”

* * *

“It was hard, but… I dunno, not as bad as I thought it would be? Which makes me feel a bit guilty. I’m sure I should’ve been a mess.” Anna chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Why?” Rapunzel frowned at her from the other side of the screen. Anna was sat on the floor outside the lobby of the therapist’s office, Elsa’s prescription beside her, her phone in her hands. As per their routine, as soon as Elsa was done, they would go to the nearby café and get cups of ridiculously sweet coffee, but Anna had arrived a little earlier than usual, giving her the time to call her friend-slash-sounding-board.

“We were giving Papa’s stuff away-… I dunno. Elsa took it harder than me, but she was closer to him than I was, I guess.” She thought back to the items they had found, chuckling once. “Turns out he was a lot more sentimental than he ever let on. There were loads of… trinkets and things. Rubbishy drawings I did at school, letters I barely remember writing to him-” She suddenly grinned, thumbs flying across the screen as she sent Rapunzel an image. “ _This_.”

There was a moment of silence, as Rapunzel waited for the file to come through; her laugh told her the moment she’d seen the photo, _“It’s a good job Kristoff likes me, I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate this particular image going viral.”_

Anna grinned. “I’m sure he won’t mind. Just don’t let Eugene see it.”

Rapunzel smirked, giving her a faux salute - she knew how much of a gossip her boyfriend could be. _“How are you guys doing anyway?”_

“We’re good. He’s been so helpful with all of this. I have… _no_ idea how to properly thank him.” Anna smiled sheepishly, a little embarrassed at how helpful Kristoff had been, for seemingly no reward. “He says don’t worry about it, but I can’t _not_ pay him back somehow.”

 _“What about taking him out to a movie or something?”_ Rapunzel didn’t point out that it would be a night off for Anna as much as for Kristoff.

“Maybe… maybe dinner though. He gets fidgety if we go to a movie.”

She’d heard _that_ story before. _“Needs to be doing something, huh?”_

“Definitely. Probably why he’s always helping out, I s’pose.”

 _“You’ll think of something.”_ Rapunzel winked at her, tucking a bang behind her ear. _“And how’s everyone else?”_

Anna sighed. “I found Elsa on the couch again.”

 _“Again?”_ Rapunzel’s expression was nothing but concerned; she knew almost as much about Elsa as she did Anna, thanks to her sister’s updates.

“It’s like, the fourth time in two weeks. And she’s _still_ not said anything about it.” Anna sighed heavily again, more frustrated than anything and looked towards the lobby door. “I’m guessing she’s not talking about it here, either.”

_“Do you want me to talk to her?”_

“I dunno… I don’t want her to feel like everyone’s ganging up on her-”

Rapunzel raised an eyebrow, _“If she’s not sleeping well, something’s wrong and it needs to be sorted out.”_

“Right…” she looked thoughtful, the cogs turning in her head. “She’s opened up to you before I guess…”

Hoping she might be able to do the same again, Rapunzel was already writing in her mental diary, _“What are you guys doing tomorrow?”_

“… we’re going through mom’s stuff. I am _not_ looking forward to it.”

 _“Oh… okay, so not tomorrow. Maybe the day after, I’ll give you a call, you can put Elsa on?”_ Anna nodded, and Rapunzel wandered back to an earlier comment, _“You were closer to your mom than your dad then?”_

“Yeah… if I ever needed anything, she was there. She’d help out when I screwed up, she’d always have the best advice… and if all else failed, her hugs were amazing.” She began to stammer, hurriedly backtracking, “Not that I don’t- didn’t love my dad, he was a wonderful guy, I-”

 _“Anna, it’s okay! I know what you meant,”_ Rapunzel said with a warm smile. _“I love both my parents dearly, but my mom’s better with some things and my dad’s better with others.”_ She watched Anna nodding as she reined her panic back in.

“Yeah… I mean, dad would help me out with stuff too, but… in a different way?” Anna looked thoughtful for a moment, trying to put it into words, “Like, he wouldn’t do stuff for me - well, neither of them would do stuff _for_ me, but he’d like, steer me in the right direction, let me work out stuff for myself from a distance. Mama would walk through stuff with me a lil’ more.” She chuckled lightly, realising just how much Elsa was a combination of the two when she would come to her rescue. She’d give Anna hints, little clues as to how she could get herself out of trouble, but would get stuck in if she had to.

“I guess… actually, they both did the same sorta stuff, just… different. Papa’s hugs were good too… ” She looked at the screen with a sad smile.

_“You miss them.”_

“… yeah.”

_“… it’s okay to miss them, y’know.”_

Anna chuckled roughly, rubbing her eyes and blinking fiercely, “What are you, my therapist?” She avoided looking at the screen for a moment, and subsequently missed Rapunzel’s eye roll.

 _“No, but I am your friend. The fact that I happen to have the word “therapist” in my job title is_ purely _a coincidence. Besides, I’m an occupational therapist. Different thing.”_ Rapunzel glanced to the top corner of the screen when she saw movement of the door to the side of Anna, _“I’m sure someone else you know gives warm hugs… Go on. I’ll catch up with you later.”_ She smiled warmly, giving Anna a small wave.

Anna gave her a half-hearted smile and wave in return, cutting the call just as she saw Elsa’s feet come into view.

“You alright down there?”

Anna looked up, seeing Elsa’s hand outstretched. Picking up her coat and bag from the floor, she accepted Elsa’s hand up, stretching out slightly and… not much else.

“… Anna? You okay?” Elsa frowned, tilting her head to try and catch Anna’s lowered gaze, becoming immediately concerned when she saw a glisten in her eyes. “Anna?”

Anna lifted her head, but suddenly found Elsa’s braid ridiculously fascinating. It was another moment of silence, and one more concerned call from her sister before she found her voice. “C’n I have a hug?”

Anna barely had time to react and suddenly found herself enveloped in her big sister’s arms. She dropped her coat and bag back to the floor, wrapping her arms around Elsa and relaxing into the embrace, burying her face in Elsa’s shoulder. In doing so, she ended up with a face full of scarf and a nose full of her father’s aftershave, making the hug feel like her mum, smell like her dad, and set off the small waterfall of tears that up until that moment she’d manage to hold back.

Elsa was taken aback by Anna’s reaction, but decided now wasn’t the time to ask questions. She simply hugged tighter, rubbing her sister’s back and mumbling soothing words, hoping they might help somehow. Elsa registered movement behind them as the receptionist - who was clearly no stranger to these situations - quietly placed a box of tissues on a nearby decorative ledge before retreating back into the lobby.

Not soon after the tears had begun did they come to an end, and a highly apologetic Anna tried to dry the tear stain in Elsa’s shoulder with the tissues that had magically appeared. “Anna… _Anna_.”

“I know, I’m so-”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“But-”

“It’s my shoulder, it’s there to be cried on.” Elsa smiled, taking a tissue and drying the tears from Anna’s cheeks. “What’s brought all this on?”

“I- I…” Anna took a shuddering breath in, exhaling slowly to try and calm herself down, “I miss them.”

Elsa smiled sadly at her, pulling her back into a hug, “I miss them too.” After another few moments, as Anna’s breathing truly began to even out, Elsa pulled back, tugging the scarf off from around her neck and wrapping it around Anna’s.

“Whff- What are you doing?” Anna stretched her neck to escape from the scarf and be heard clearly, “It’s cold out, you need to-”

“Aah, the cold doesn’t bother me. C’mon,” Elsa said, picking up Anna’s jacket and holding it open for her to put on, “I think it’s time for a hot chocolate. Or two.”

“… or three?” Anna’s puppy dog eyes were automatic, and Elsa chuckled.

“Just so long as you don’t throw up in Kristoff’s car afterwards.”

“Pfft. That would be a waste of good chocolate.”

* * *

Anna yawned, glaring at the clock that told her it was _far_ too early to be up and awake. However, two hot chocolates had turned into three. Then four. Then there had been more hot chocolate at home, but it was _Gerda’s_ hot chocolate and she simply couldn’t turn it down and now she _really_ needed to pee.

Kicking the covers off, she swung her legs out of bed and ran a hand through the bird nest that was her hair. It took another moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, and as they did so she sighed. Elsa wasn’t in bed again.

Anna shuffled off the bed, bare feet padding their way over to and out of the door, heading in the direction of the bathroom. She moved as quietly as she could, trying not to alert anyone to her being awake. Managing to complete her round trip without incident, she initially crept back into the bedroom. Quietly opening the door, she made her way back in, but stopped halfway, scowling at her sister’s still empty bed. Instead of going back to bed, she made her way to the living room.

Creeping in, hissing quietly at the chill of the bare wood floor against her soles, she made her way over to the sofa, peering over the back. Bundled up in a hoodie, curled up into a ball with her foot under a cushion was Elsa, out for the count. Anna watched her for a moment, wondering how on Earth the sofa was more comfortable than her bed, before reaching down and taking Elsa’s braid in her hand… and tickling her ear with the end.

Elsa immediately curled up even tighter, and started batting at her ear when the annoyance didn’t go away. Waking up just before she smacked herself in the face, Elsa looked bleary eyed around the living room, sitting bolt upright when she saw the silhouette of Anna looming over her.

“Woah,” Anna hissed, rounding the sofa and sitting by Elsa’s feet, “s’only me.”

“Anna, what are you doing?” Elsa moved into a more comfortable position, scratching at her ear.

“I was going to ask you the same thing.”

“I _was_ sleeping.”

“On the sofa.”

“… yes, sleeping on the sofa.”

“Why not in bed?”

“… it was uncomfortable.”

“And the sofa is comfier.”

“Right.”

“Don’t talk crap, Els’,” Anna looked at her in exasperation, her tone was equally fed up, “This is the fifth time you’ve slept on the sofa- _that I know of_.” With Elsa being the early bird, she was suddenly curious as to how many times Elsa had been on the sofa, but had been up and about before Anna had realised. “Elsa… what’s going on?”

Elsa opened her mouth to speak, to give an excuse that wouldn’t lead to more questions, but promptly shut it again. What would be the point?

“… I can’t sleep.”

“ _That_ much is obvious.”

“No, I… I keep having nightmares.” She immediately continued before Anna could get a word in, “But they’re not really like nightmares, I… I keep remembering my accident. Or at least parts of it.”

Anna’s scowl deepened into a frown, annoyance giving way to curiosity, “But… you said you couldn’t remember anything.”

“I know. I mean… I still can’t remember what I had for breakfast that morning, but… I can remember the tricks I did, the weather, how the snow felt-”

“Can you remember what went wrong?”

Elsa sighed, “No. No, I… I can remember up until the run up to the final ramp, and then… it’s a massive blur. White noise, a jumble of colours. I remember it _hurt_. And then I wake up in a cold sweat.”

Anna’s mouth formed a perfect ‘o’, “Which is why you sleep out here afterwards.”

“Right. I’d rather sleep in my bed, believe me. It’s just…” She scrunched her nose up in disgust; Anna got the message. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything, I… I didn’t want you to worry. I figured they’d just go away on their own.”

“You gotta stop with the whole, “I don’t want Anna to worry” thing,” Anna raised an eyebrow, “I’ll just find out and worry anyway. Worry _more_ even.”

Elsa looked at her sheepishly, fiddling with the end of her braid. “Sorr-”

A cushion to the chest cut her short. “And stop apologising, dammit,” Anna put the pillow back in its place, “just… don’t do it.”

“You know, you’re far more vulgar this early in the morning.”

“Yeah, because I’m a lot more tired and _irritable_ this early in the morning.” Anna fiddled with the tassel on the corner of the cushion for a moment. “Have you told Ms. Solberg about your bad dreams?”

Elsa looked at Anna’s hand by the cushion, before shaking her head and bracing herself for the incoming blow. Thankfully, Anna didn’t use her weapon again. “No.” There was a moment’s silence, and then Elsa mumbled, “I _hate_ therapy.”

Anna raised an eyebrow, tilting her head at her, “Oh?”

“It just seems so… pointless.”

“But didn’t the doctor at the hospital say-”

“I know. If I don’t do the therapy, then this-” she tapped the monitoring bracelet on her wrist “-is the least of my problems.” Elsa sighed, fiddling with it, “I know _why_ they want me to go, I just… it’s all so stereotypical and awkward. And I can’t see how talking about the past is going to help me in the future.”

Anna could see her point. But she also agreed with the reasons for Elsa having therapy in the first place, and didn’t want the past to repeat itself because mistakes hadn’t been learned from. “Well… you’ve gotta go to therapy. They won’t let you take that off until Ms. Solberg’s happy.” She watched Elsa’s dejected and resigned nod, and felt bad for scolding her. “But.”

“But?”

“Well, they didn’t say you had to have your therapy with _her_. Maybe you could speak to someone else?” Anna thought for a moment, but only one name came to mind. “I… I know she’s not a _therapist_ therapist, but… what about Punzie?”

“Rapunzel?”

“You spoke with her before, back at the hospital. It wasn’t so bad, right?” Elsa looked thoughtful, thinking back to their short, but rather casual conversation. “It would be like… talking to a friend. Except that friend might know people who can get rid of this,” she said, reaching for the bracelet and giving it a tug, pulling it away from prying fingers.

“… do you think they’d allow it?”

“We’ll call the hospital first thing in the morning. Well, I’ll check with Rapunzel first, though I’m certain she’ll say yes, but I should probably ask her to make sure she’s happy to, and _then_ we’ll call the hospital.” Anna waited for Elsa’s nod, then smiled at her, “In the meantime… are you _sure_ you’re comfy out here? I mean, I can shift up-”

“And have you smack me in the face at various points during the night? No, thanks.” Elsa smirked; sure they’d shared a bed as kids, but they were both a lot smaller back then. “I’ll manage out here. Besides, I’ll probably be awake again in a few hours. Unlike you.”

“Because you’re _weird_.” Anna poked her tongue; Elsa responded in kind. “Alright, well… sleep well, I guess. And at the very least I’m getting you some slipper socks.” She pushed herself off the sofa, rearranging the cushions for Elsa. Almost out of the room, she stopped dead, swiveling on the ball of her foot and causing a squeaking noise against the wood floor, “And tomorrow, you need to speak to Rapunzel as well, tell her about your nightmare. You need to talk it through with _someone_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh. I always knew this kind of chapter would be the hardest to write. But this does somewhat mirror my own experience with therapy, in all it’s pointless glory. Why do I feel this way? I don’t know. Leave me alone.
> 
> Also, the “safety plan” is based on a Patient Safety Plan from suicidepreventionlifeline(dot)org. It’s only a month or so since Elsa attempted suicide, so it’s safe to assume she’d have a safety plan in place, especially as she’s out in’t wild.


	29. A Thousand Words

“Well… at least mama’s closet is a bit more organized,” Anna chuckled, pushing the doors open fully, the sunlight hitting the wide array of colours inside and making the dresses shimmer, and look ten times brighter. “But where do we start?”

Elsa sat down on the floor, laying her crutches aside. “Let’s… let’s do the same thing as we did with Papa’s. Start at the top and work our way down.” She took the first box from Anna and peered inside. “Oh wow…”

“What?” Anna looked down at her curiously, before crouching down to peek as well. She laughed when Elsa opened the box to reveal what had been known as her “hockey survival kit”.

Elsa pulled out a slightly tangled bunch of flags and streamers, two of which were attached to a baseball cap. She shook out the decoration, before Anna took it from her and placed it on her head.

“I used to love this cap! It suited dad better though, I think.” Anna grinned, shaking her head and causing the streamers to rustle and kick the light around. “Awesome.”

 _“Dad, come on! It’ll be kick off soon!” Anna tugged on her papa’s arm, but her tiny frame was no match for his. He walked along slow, checking the seat numbers_ yet again.

 _“Sunshine, we need to make sure we sit in the right pla- ah,_ there’s _the stand.” Adgar gave Anna a small tug in the right direction and was quickly fighting against her – but at least they she was tugging him in the right direction this time. “Idunn, darling, it’s this one!”_

_Idunn, cheeks adorned with Norwegian flags to match the one emblazoned on her jersey turned to head in Adgar’s direction. In one hand she carried a bag of programmes and souvenir programmes. In the other was her eldest, with matching face paint and a small flag._

_“Mama, come on!” Elsa was bouncing as they walked, waving her flag at Anna whenever she turned around, getting a shake of her streamer hat in response. Idunn quickly caught up with Agdar, who was wearing naught but a child’s Norway scarf, at Anna’s insistence. If he could spend the entire day in the car, he probably would. But_ someone _had to be the sensible one._

Elsa grinned, pulling out the oversized jersey and shaking it open. Underneath it were a few more flags, a small bag with half empty pots of face paint, and ticket stubs and programmes for all the matches Idunn had been to. “Norway v. Japan, Sweden-“

Anna snorted, “Oh man, _that_ was funny.”

Elsa continued with a grin, “Canada, England, the US…” Dozens of countries were in the pile, not to mention the myriad of local team stubs that were mixed in. Her mama had been an _avid_ supporter and then some.

“Hey look!” Anna pulled down a bag that had been tucked behind the survival kit, “Her ice fishing stuff!”

Idunn had _adored_ ice fishing. At least once a month, she would take the girls up into the mountains to impart her knowledge and her passion. Anna was more interested in watching the fish swimming around under the ice, and would always be the first to throw back anything she managed to catch. Elsa had been interested for a time, but when she was four and Anna was but a baby, she had become so enraptured by a nearby group of ice skaters in training that she hadn’t spoken about anything else for a week. After a short discussion between Idunn and Adgar, they began taking her to a class one day after school. Future ice fishing trips were an opportunity for Elsa to skate on open ice, while Anna, Idunn, and Agdar – when he was finally able to put his work down for the day – enjoyed the act of fishing.

“I think we can safely say we’ll be keeping these two boxes,” Anna said, chuckling as Elsa accidentally stuck her hand in the bait box, recoiling as she touched the last few pieces at the bottom of the tub.

With a slightly disgusted noise, Elsa clipped the lid back on the tub and zipped the bag up. Putting the bag to the side, she looked to Anna, taking the next box from her. After going through a few boxes and finding nothing but shoes – “Oh my god, I _knew_ she didn’t get rid of them.” – they found a _much_ heavier box. Anna dumped it between them on the floor, flipping off the lid.

“Oh wow…” Elsa stared, watching as Anna pulled out album after album, each one crammed full with photographs. She picked one at random, opening the album into her lap. “Look, this was our last holiday to France,” she said with a chuckle, “One of the few holidays we weren’t up to our necks in snow.”

“Good job too – I’d never seen papa so drunk.” Anna smirked at the memory of her father returning from a wine tasting session, slumping into a chair and not getting up for a long while afterwards. She flipped through a few more pages, “Selfie with the Eiffel tower, selfie with the Louvre…”

“Mama did like her selfies.” Elsa smiled warmly at the countless photos of her mother, sometimes pulling a funny face, sometimes just out of shot, sometimes a little out of focus, but _always_ happy.

Anna grabbed another album, flipping through a few pages before her jaw dropped, “Oh wow, is that _dad?_ ” Anna slid the album under Elsa’s nose and pointed at a picture of a much younger looking Idunn – though she’d barely aged as it was – sat on a fence with her arm wrapped around the waist of a rather young, red haired, strapping young man.

Flipping through a few pages, there were several pictures that looked to have been taken on the same day; from the backdrop, it looked as though they’d been up in the mountains, perhaps in the same spot they would later have a small cabin built, miles away from anyone. Some of the images had them on horseback, the familiar mane of a _fjordhest_ just visible at the bottom of the photo. Others were blurred as Idunn had taken the shot whilst at a gallop, others were just them amongst the grass and the flowers, a glorious landscape behind them.

“Dad _loved_ riding,” Anna sighed, thinking back to the times she had ridden behind him as a small girl, and then followed him on her own horse, easily navigating rough mountainside paths, reaching areas to tourist would dare to brave, before galloping home under the midnight sun to her mama and sister, mugs of hot chocolate at the ready. “He hated taking the horses back to Nils more than I did.”

“I wouldn’t have been surprised if they’d moved to the cabin permanently at some point. They would’ve loved it.”

“ _Really_ loved it… look how _young_ they both look…!” Anna couldn’t get over it, flipping through more photos.

“They met really young… it wasn’t like, _arranged_ , but they were introduced to each other at some family gathering as teenagers and then stayed in touch. Like something from one of those fairytales mama used to read us.”

“Like with the princes and princesses who were betrothed to each other before they could _walk_? Pfft,” Anna turned up her nose, having had a few years to think over those stories, “Who would want to marry someone they never met?

Elsa shrugged, flipping back through the album she’d picked up first. After a few more pages, she nudged Anna with her elbow, “Look at little you in your school uniform!”

 _Elsa stood at the end of the path, waiting patiently as Idunn took another photo of Anna, ready for her first day at school. And another._ And another. _“Stay still, sweetie,” Idunn said, chuckling, “I know you’re excited.”_ Understatement of the century, but. _She finally managed to get a sharp picture of the bundle of energy stood on the doorstep, short pigtails rustling with the motion. “Okay,” Idunn began with a clap of her hands, “Let’s go to school!”_

 _Anna cheered on her way to the gate, where she impatiently fidgeted for Elsa to open the gate. But she was opening it_ far _too slowly. “Elsaaa, come on!”_

_The blonde chuckled, before she opened the gate to allow her younger sister to bolt. Elsa looked back up the path, and when she noticed her mother wasn’t right behind Anna, she ran through the gate after her. Anna had walked to school loads of times before, but Elsa didn’t want her to forget how to cross the road properly because she was too excited. “Anna, wait up!”_

_“Come on!” Anna turned around for a split second to call back to her sister before running again. Elsa caught up quickly – Anna’s legs were still shorter than hers. Her mama wasn’t far behind, sometimes breaking into a run when they were too far ahead._

_“Anna, wait!” Elsa sprinted another few feet, grabbing Anna’s hand and pulling her to a stop just before she ran across a road. There were no cars right_ now _, but there_ might _have been. “You have to hold mine or mama’s hand to cross the road, Anna.”_

_Her younger sister’s head dipped slightly, and she mumbled an apology. Elsa smiled back at her, before they went through the drill – looking left, then right, then left again. By the second check, Idunn had caught up again and taken Anna’s other hand, giving Elsa a proud thumbs up. With a final check, they crossed the empty side street, a quiet road that lead to a dead end._

_Idunn kept a hold of Anna’s hand for the rest of the short journey, letting go after they had crossed the last road before the school. Anna didn’t run off as she had expected her to, something Elsa obviously noticed too. “I thought you were excited to go to school?”_

_“I am! But… it’s_ scary _.” The school looked huge; even with one floor it looked like a huge castle on top of a mountain, with loads of bigger kids and adults standing around like an army. Looking more closely, Anna could see much younger kids, including the boy from across the street with the silly cat, and she almost ran over. Almost._

 _She looked back at her mama, who was smiling at her as she kneeled down to be her height, “I know it seems scary, but you’ll be absolutely fine. You’re such a brave girl, and I_ know _you’ll have loads of fun, and make lots of new friends.”_

_“But… what if I don’t like it…?” Anna muttered, her voice very quiet and un-Anna-like._

_“You’ll like it.” Elsa grinned at her, nodding hard, “The teachers are really nice, and the other kids are… almost all nice, but if you meet any mean kids, let me know.” She winked at her younger sister to help her get the message._

_“I’ll see you in school?” Anna seemed to perk up a bit at the sound of having someone there that she knew, because she knew mama couldn’t stay._

_Elsa nodded, “At playtime! If you want I can come and find you at break and lunchtime?” Anna relaxed a bit with this information, her eyes darting back over to the children who would be in her class._

_“Think of it as a new adventure, sunshine.” Idunn gave her a wink, and watched little Anna puff out her chest, standing tall. “Are you ready?”_

_“Born ready!” Anna thrust her fists into the air, looking like she could take on the whole world, before running to her new classmates. After a few steps she stopped, ran back, and into her mother’s arms for a hug. “Bye mama!”_

_“Bye-bye, sunshine,” Idunn chuckled, “I’ll see you later.” As quickly as she’d started the hug, Anna ended it, running off again and immediately introducing herself. Not forgetting the other girl, Idunn pulled Elsa in for a hug too, “I’ll see you later, snowflake. Have a good day, okay?” She noticed that Elsa was keeping an eye on Anna, and gave her a squeeze, “Don’t worry. Anna will have far too much fun, and won’t stop talking about it on the way home. How about on the way, we get chocolate milk?”_

_Elsa nodded against her mother’s chest, happy because mama was happy. With a last kiss to her forehead, Idunn watched Elsa head off too, catching up with the few good friends she had made at school. Idunn remembered how quiet the girl had been on_ her _first day, but it hadn’t taken long for her to relax and open up, first to the teacher, then to a few of her classmates. As she watched her youngest pulling the boy from the across the street into a hug, she chuckled._ Anna’s not going to take _quite_ that long.

“I remember playing the sandbox almost all day,” Anna reminisced, her grin spreading, “I had sand in my clothes for a whole week.”

“And not for the last time,” said Elsa with a smirk; Anna just continued to grin innocently. Rummaging through the two boxes and looking at the other boxes remaining on the shelves, Elsa pondered, “I wonder how many more photos she has hidden away in here.”

“I wonder why she didn’t just store them on a memory stick or something?” Anna could understand having a few photos printed out, but _hundreds_ of them?

“Maybe it’s like papa and his letters. More of an emotional thing.”

“What?”

“Oh, uh… something Ms. Solberg said about how a tangible thing has more emotional resonance.”

Anna smirked. _Not so pointless after all._ “Maybe. Perhaps we should look through the photos later. Otherwise we’ll be here all week.” Elsa hummed in agreement, carefully closing the album and placing it back into the box before Anna swapped it for another. 

* * *

After hours of unboxing, boxing, unfolding, folding, indecision and _more_ indecision, Elsa and Anna had managed to pack away a little under half of the contents of the wardrobe to take home. Most of the boxes were filled with albums and the mementos Idunn had collected over the years, including a box of Elsa & Anna’s “firsts”, as well as other keepsakes; baby shoes, footprints, handprints, baby teeth – chipped and unchipped – school certificates, Anna’s drawings from after school classes and Elsa’s first skating boots. Anna had the box strewn over the living room floor, going through each item with Gerda. Elsa was sat on her bed, slowly flipping through what must’ve been the most recent of her mother’s photo albums, if the bare pages at the back were anything to go by.

She vividly remembered the stories behind the images, trying not to squint as she looked at the camera help up to the sky, her head resting on her mother’s shoulder, laughing as Anna made bunny ears behind her father. The air had been crisp and fresh, the sun had warmed her to her core – or more likely, the was the company she was keeping – and the sounds of birdsong and braying horses provided a calming soundtrack.

The rapping of knuckles on the door hauled Elsa from her reverie and she cleared her throat to give a moment to compose herself. “Yeah?”

Kai rounded the door quietly, looking apologetic, “Sorry to barge in,” Elsa smiled at the comment – he had done anything but _barge_ in.

“It’s alright,” she said, straightening up against the headboard, close the album in her lap.

Kai wandered over, holding out a phone, “Anna’s friend – Rapunzie? She’s on the phone for you.”

Elsa took the phone gratefully, “Thanks.” She waited until the door had closed behind Kai, who had left as quietly as he had entered, before lifting the phone to her ear, grateful it wasn’t a video call, “Rapunzel?”

_“Hi there, Elsa. Is now a good time?”_

“Now’s fine,” she figured if not now, she’d never take the plunge, “How are you?”

_“I’m good, thanks. How’re you? How’d it go?”_

_Of course she knew what we were doing today…_ “I’m okay. Tired, but okay.”

_“I can understand that. And I’m sorry I’m calling today, I know I said tomorrow, but something’s come up.”_

“Nothing bad I hope-“

 _“No, no. Just covering someone else’s shift,”_ she said, causing Elsa to relax. _“Thank you though. So! How’s the snow?”_

Elsa was prepared for a “Tell me about your mother”, not conversation about the weather. It took a beat for the question to register, as she wrapped her head around the English. “It’s uh… it’s not too bad at the moment, actually. Somewhere around freezing right now. Snow’s fairly constant.”

 _“You’re making me shiver just with the word ‘freezing’,”_ Rapunzel chuckled, _“I don’t think it’s been in single digits the whole time I’ve been here.”_

“Are you all settled in now?”

 _“Yeah! The job’s going well. It’s busy, so there are still boxes everywhere, but I don’t mind. Easier to decorate around. I spend most of my time in the garden anyway – I can’t tell you how_ happy _I am to be out of high rises.”_ Rapunzel continued, describing her decorating plans, her ideas for the garden, and Elsa was happy to sit, listen and let her imagination take over as Rapunzel began talking about her neighbourhood, and the nearby city.

Fairly soon after, the comparisons between her new homestead and her home town came thick and fast. Elsa chipped in occasionally, and didn’t realise the few time she mentioned her parents or past experiences – it was all so casual and easy. Rapunzel didn’t push her to answer questions, or discuss anything specific, they were just _talking_ , and it felt rather refreshing.

After a while, there was a shuffling outside the door. Elsa chuckled, out of place for the conversation, “Sorry Rapunzel; I can hear Anna hiding outside.”

Rapunzel laughed as well, _“She’s done well to hold out for – what, an hour? What’s the saying? Time flies, huh?”_

“Yep.” Elsa grinned as Anna’s head finally peeked around the door, and a waving hand followed. Elsa waved back, then waved her over to the bed, “She probably wants her phone back.”

 _“She’s be lost without it.”_ Elsa could hear the smirk in Rapunzel’s voice, “I tell you what, why don’t you get Anna to give you my number, and you can call me later?”

“Okay, when?”

_“No appointments. Call me whenever you want, alright?”_

Elsa nodded, then remembered she couldn’t see that, “Okay… thanks.”

_“Not at all. Auf Wiedersehen!”_

“ _Har det bra,”_ Elsa replied, handing Anna back her precious device and half listening to the quickfire conversation between them. There was a catch up, the promise of a call later, but not much else. After the call was finished, Anna looked at Elsa with a serious expression. Immediately, Elsa was frowning, “What?”

“I promise I won’t ask her about your conversations. And Rapunzel has made it very clear I wouldn’t be able to get anything out of her anyway.”

Elsa chuckled, patting Anna on the hand, “Thanks.”

“Though I might still ask _you_ occasionally,” she said with a mischievous grin. “So? How was it? Better than therapy, worse than therapy…”

“It was… different. We just talked about stuff.” Elsa felt somewhat… relieved? She hadn’t known what to expect when her sister said Rapunzel would call, but had been pleasantly surprised.

Anna was unsure of what to make of her description, but as Elsa wasn’t in tears, she considered it a positive review. “Stuff is good. … you’ll talk again?”

“Perhaps. You’ll have to give me her number for starters-“ Elsa chuckled when Anna immediately grabbed her phone from the bedside table, tapping away.

“Done! Now,” Anna pocketed her own phone, put Elsa’s back and took the album from her lap, placing it to the side, “come on. Dinner’s ready.”


	30. That's What Friends Are For

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder: this is set two years or so before the events of Snowboarding, which is set at the time of Big Hero 6, which according to an item of IMDB trivia with absolutely no source is set in 2032. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Rapunzel loved walking home through the park. Rain or shine, it gave her the time to gather her thoughts, and when spring _finally_ showed up she was sure the wide array of barren trees would make the journey even more enjoyable.

Normally, she would listen to music, meandering at whatever pace the song set, but not this time. Midway through her stroll, her music faded out, making way for her ringtone. It took a few loops for her to realise she wasn’t listening to her music anymore, but as she looked at the screen, she was pleasantly surprised. “Hallo, Elsa.”

_“Hei.”_

“How are you?” Rapunzel wandered over to a bench nearby, stretching her legs out in front of her as she got comfortable.

_“Okay… this isn’t a bad time, is it?”_

Rapunzel wasn’t particularly convinced by her answer, and even with so few words spoken she could hear the stuffiness of Elsa’s voice, how shaky it was. “No, of course not,” she said, her brow furrowing with concern, “you can call me anytime- wait, what time _is_ it over there?”

_“Uhm… just after 3am.”_

“Can’t sleep again?”

_“Nei.”_

“Nightmare?”

_“… yeah.”_

Elsa hadn’t spoken about her nightmares in a while. From what Rapunzel gathered during their regular “therapy” sessions – though she couldn’t really call them therapy sessions anymore, they’d long since dropped the monikers of therapist and client – Elsa was sleeping much better, without the help of medication, “What happened?”

 _“I, uh…”_ There was a snuffle, all but confirming that Elsa had been crying, _“it was like before. I… I saw stuff from before my accident.”_

“But not the actual crash?”

 _“Nei, just stuff before it-_ ” Elsa’s voice hitched, the last word nothing more than a squeak.  Rapunzel gave her a moment to compose herself, listening carefully for even the faintest mumble.

“… but?”

A choked sob finally came through the speaker, _“I couldn’t wake up. And… and then there was stuff from when I was in hospital, and I… I could hear mama and papa talking, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying and Anna was crying and- and-”_ Elsa was in floods of tears by this point, but was also trying her best to be heard by anyone else in the house, so Rapunzel had to strain to hear what she was saying, _“-then the plane crashed, and I woke up og Anna var ikke har- she w- wasn’t here and-”_

Suddenly, it all clicked into place for Rapunzel. “Elsa, listen to me. Anna is safe and sound.”

_“Men jeg så det- flyulykket, hun-”_

“Elsa, look outside.” Rapunzel had to raise her voice slightly to make herself heard; she wondered for a moment if it had been loud enough, but she soon heard shuffling, followed by the distinct sound of curtains being drawn. “Count the lights for me.”

A few months back, Anna had called Rapunzel – in the middle of a meeting, if she remembered rightly – after she had failed to calm Elsa down after another fairly hideous nightmare. Rapunzel had been thrown for a loop, and whilst hastily trying to explain herself away from the meeting to deal with the situation, a colleague had simply said, “Get her to count something.” When counting breaths hadn’t proved _real_ enough to ground Elsa, Anna had forcibly turned her sister to the window and began counting lampposts with her.

Rapunzel had no idea what number she was up to – she’d only learned one to ten in Norwegian so far – but instead noticed how Elsa was counting more clearly, more regularly… and with the occasional yawn.

“Elsa,” Rapunzel heard her breath hitch for a moment, but she was fairly certain Elsa could actually hear her this time round, “where’s Anna?”

_“… på fer- on… on holiday.”_

“And how did she go there?”

_“… train.”_

“And right now, she’s probably tucked up in bed, just like you need to be.”

_“… beklager.”_

“Don’t apologise.”

_“But-“_

“Elsa.”

_“…sorry.”_

“Hmm.” Rapunzel raised an eyebrow, smirking. _If I had $1 for every unnecessary apology…_ “So,” she said, relaxing against the back of the bench now she knew the situation was calmer, “I don’t want you to go back to sleep straight away, even though I know you’re tired. You need to relax so you don’t have another nightmare, okay?”

 _“Relax?”_ Rapunzel could hear the doubt in Elsa’s voice.

“That doesn’t necessarily mean soaking in a bath or going for a walk, but you need to take your mind off this. Go make yourself a cup of tea, read a book, watch whatever _müll_ is on the TV this time of night and fall asleep on the sofa.” Rapunzel heard the odd sniffle on the other end of the line, and waited patiently for some sort of affirmation from Elsa. After a minute or so of silence came a gentle prompt, “Any thoughts?”

_“Uh… I’ll go make some tea.”_

“Make sure it’s decaf.”

_“… decaf. Right.”_

Rapunzel narrowed her eyes slightly; she hoped Elsa was merely tired, but wasn’t going to leave it at that, “I’ll message you a little later, okay? Maybe when you’ve had a good night’s sleep we can talk again.”

Elsa’s agreement was quiet and unconvincing, but Rapunzel didn’t know what else she could do. After a short goodbye, Rapunzel was left looking down at her phone, watching it as if something might pop up on the screen to quell the feelings of uncertainty. When all she got was a message from Eugene asking her if she didn’t mind pizza for the third day in a row, she sighed, tapping a quick message before pocketing the phone, and continuing on her way home.

* * *

It was several hours later when Elsa received a text from Anna – a photo of her breakfast untouched on the table, an unaware Kristoff tucking into his own, with a magnificent view of Paris behind him. She sent a response that came across as perfectly happy to read, but belied Elsa’s actual mood… or at least she hoped so. She felt completely drained, having been unable to get any sleep after her nightmare, despite her best efforts to “relax”.

Gerda placed a plate of cooked breakfast in front of her; she just about mustered up the energy to lift some egg up to her mouth, but let her hand drop back down to the table with a sigh. Gerda heard the clatter and glanced over, frowning slightly, “Everything alright, dear?”

“M’not hungry.”

“Are you sure? You didn’t eat much for dinner yesterday either.” Gerda’s frowned deepened as she put down a cup of juice in front of her; she quickly raised a hand to Elsa’s forehead, checking her temperature. “Hmm… you’re not warm… how do you feel?”

“I feel fine, I’m just… not hungry.” Elsa shifted away from Gerda’s hand and slipped from the chair, moving away from the table. “I think I’m just going to go back to bed.”

Gerda didn’t have much say in the matter; Elsa was already halfway across the room before she could respond. “Alright darling… I’ll bring you something to eat in a while, okay?” She tilted her head curiously, as Elsa half shrugged and disappeared down the hallway.

Kai appeared shortly afterwards, with a quick glance over his shoulder before he sat in the vacated seat, “Is she okay?”

“I don’t know… she says she’s alright, but she left her- left her breakfast.” Gerda raised an eyebrow at Kai, his mouth stuff full of the egg Elsa had abandoned. “Did you hear anything last night?”

Kai shook his head, “But my hearing’s not the best nowadays, you know that.”

“Only too well.” Gerda sipped her own tea, taking a seat next to Kai. “She did look tired, maybe she just didn’t sleep very well.” She glanced back at the hallway, looking for any signs of movement. “… I’ll go and check up on her in a little while.”

* * *

Rapunzel checked her world clock for a third time. Maybe the fourth, she’d lost count. Either way, it was late afternoon in Elsa’s part of the world and she’d not replied to any of Rapunzel’s messages. Her concern mounting, she slipped out into a quiet corridor of her workplace and dialled.

The phone went to voice after what seemed like an eternity of ringing, so she hung up and tried again. _And again._ She was about to hang up on her third attempt when the phone clicked into life, and a quiet voice responded, _“Hallo?”_

“Elsa? It’s just me. Remember I said I’d speak to you at some point?”

 _“Rette.”_ Amidst the slight shuffling of covers, Elsa’s voice was muffled and heavy, and she sounded even worse than she had the evening before. _“Sorry, I didn’t hear my phone.”_

“I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”

 _“Don’t worry about it.”_ Not a yes or a no, and Rapunzel couldn’t work it out herself.

When Elsa didn’t elaborate any further - didn’t say _anything_ in fact, Rapunzel pressed on, “So how are you? Did you manage to get some sleep last night?”

There was a long pause, so long Rapunzel thought she might have hung up with her cheek or something. “Elsa? You there?”

 _“Ja, I’m here… sorry.”_ Rapunzel’s brow furrowed as she repeated her question. _“I… no, I didn’t.”_

“No?”

 _“No. I tried,”_ assured Elsa, the frustration in her voice growing, _“I swear, I tried, but…”_

Rapunzel sighed, then finished her sentence for her. “You had another nightmare.”

 _“I waited for ages. I read a book, I- I did everything I could think of to take my mind off it, but I went back to sleep and they were all there, there was nothing I could do- I tried, but I couldn’t move, I couldn’t get to them, I…”_ Elsa’s desperate explanation was swallowed up in tears again, but the sound was slightly muffled, presumably by her pillow.

Rapunzel shut her eyes briefly, rubbing at the bridge of her nose. To be honest, she’d expected an extra phone call here and there when she found out Anna was going away for a week, but this was _clearly_ affecting Elsa far more profoundly than Rapunzel had predicted.

After a minute or so, the sound of muffled sobbing ceased abruptly, and after checking that the call was still connected she listened carefully, waiting for Elsa to come around, all the while continuing to reassure her that Anna was fine, that they were just nightmares… _anything_ to get her attention.

She heard a new noise in the background of the call, and what sounded like someone else calling Elsa’s name. She stayed silent, glad that someone was there, but still curious to find out who. There was a clatter – it sounded as though the phone had been put on a hard surface, maybe the bedside table? At least it was a little easier to hear what was going on now, and Rapunzel eventually breathed a sigh of relief when she realised that Gerda was with her, mumbling in Norwegian in a low, clearly rather concerned tone. Rapunzel leapt at the chance, and shouted into the mouthpiece to try and get Gerda’s attention. Just when she was sure a burly security guy would appear to find out what was going on, there was another clatter.

_“Hallo?”_

* * *

“Are we there yet?”

Kristoff chuckled, swinging their clasped hands slightly, “Anna, we only just left.”

“But I’m _tired_ ,” she groaned, “it feels like we’ve been walking forever.”

“You’ve only got yourself to blame.” Kristoff side eyed her, smirking, “ _I_ just wanted a hug.”

She had to concede on that point, “Yeah, well… I didn’t hear you complaining.” Anna pulled down on his arm, kissing his cheek.

He stopped walking, pulling her into a proper kiss and slowing their progress even more, “We can always go to the Eiffel Tower some other time. It’s not going anywhere.”

“You said that yesterday.”

“Also not my fault.”

“And the day before.”

“… okay, that time was my fault.”

Anna chuckled, turning to face him, taking both his hands, “Well we could still have dinner there later? Or we can go back to the hotel, relax by the pool…”

“You know, with all this relaxation, we’re not going to be able to do any of the stuff on your list.” Kristoff chuckled; Anna had spent weeks thinking of things to do when they got to Paris but so far, they hadn’t ticked a single thing off.

“Not true; we’ll still have time to go to Disneyland.”

Kristoff snorted, “You’d walk through fire to get there. Hell, I’m surprised you didn’t have us camp out there on our first night here to make sure we weren’t late.” He chuckled at her raised eyebrow, before realising they’d been blocking the pavement for a little while now. “You choose. Do we stroll towards the Tower for dinner or do we suffer the hotel’s rather magnificent menu again?”

“… I suppose we should actually spend some time _outside_ the hotel this week.”

Kristoff chuckled, “I agree. I mean… as much as I _like_ seeing you in bed-“

“Kristoff, we’re in the middle of the street!”

“What, I thought France was all about romance?” he said, with a cheeky grin. “Besides, unless the rest of the street speaks Norwegian, I think we’re fairly safe. Though that blush might give it awa- _ow_.”

* * *

White, orange, white again, green, _more_ green, red… mixed with orange, and a hint of blue. She was freezing cold, even as she watched the flame creeping up the aisle, felt the blinding agony as it began to burn beneath her chair. She wanted desperately to cry out, as if it would cancel out the pain but her throat was dry, constricted and she couldn’t make a sound. She had to fight for the oxygen in every smoke-filled lungful of air.

In the next row of seats along, Elsa could see her sister, crying as she fought against the belt buckle that was holding her in place. Elsa grabbed helplessly at her own restraints, but it was futile – as soon as she unhooked one strap, another snapped into place, holding her back down against the chair. She was soon immobile, with hundreds of thin straps snaking around her arms, her waist, her thighs – even her head was strapped down.

Elsa suddenly heard the hum of distant voices, and the noise in the cabin instantly quietened. She could see them in front of the flames, her mother and father, moving towards Anna, pulling her free. As Anna was pulled out of the chair into her mother’s embrace, Elsa watched her father moving closer to her, but his voice remained distant. In fact, the closer he got, the less clear he became, and just as Elsa took a breath in to call out to him, the plane dropped, sending her father tumbling down the aisle.

It was as if her ears had just popped; the noise in the cabin was deafening, the only sound she could make out was her sister’s sobs- where _was_ she? Her gaze darted around the cabin as she tried to spot her family amongst the growing carnage. Scrunching her eyes tight shut, she tried to block out the extraneous noise, to filter out everything but her parents’ voices, but even _then_ there were visual distractions. The sight of her father falling away. The sight of her mother gathering her sister up in her arms, only for them both to be engulfed by flames and smoke.

The cabin started shaking, and Elsa heard a voice slowly coming into focus- someone was shouting her name. _Anna._

“ _Anna!_ ”

“Woah!” Rapunzel pushed backwards, moving out of Elsa’s way as she sat bolt upright in the bed, eyes wide and chest heaving. She was drenched in a cold sweat from the head down, and Rapunzel could feel her trembling through the mattress. “Elsa-“

Elsa’s head snapped around to face her, and Rapunzel watched what little colour was left in her cheeks drain away, replaced with a completely devastated expression. Elsa shrank back with a whimper, and Rapunzel didn’t need to understand her mumblings to realise that Elsa wasn’t completely awake, and had incorporated her friend into whatever horrible scenario was playing in her head.

Very slowly, Rapunzel extended a hand towards her, reaching for her arm. “Elsa, it’s okay, you’re at home, you’re _safe_.” She winced as Elsa receded even further up the bed, hugging her knee and clamping her eyes tight shut, continuing to mumble. Rapunzel hovered a hand a hair’s breadth above Elsa’s arm, as if the warmth of her hand might make the contact less of a shock, before gently resting her hand on her forearm. Prepared or not, it was as if Elsa had been electrocuted; her legs kicked out, her arm recoiled, and her head snapped up to stare directly at the unexpected guest.

“… Rapunzel?”

The response was tiny, nothing like the terrified cry for her sister. Rapunzel leaned in ever so slightly, keeping herself and her voice low and unthreatening. “Hey there, honey… do you know where you are?” She kept her hand on Elsa’s arm; the physical contact had brought her back to the waking world with quite a bump, and she wanted to keep her as grounded as possible.

Elsa blinked, taking a few moments to process the question. Her reply came after a quick confirmatory glance around the room. “… home.”

“Right,” Rapunzel said with a warm smile, rubbing her thumb over her forearm, “and I have to say, it’s a _really_ nice house.” She kept watching Elsa, watching the cogs turning ever so slowly, before…

“… what are you doing here?”

“ _Well_ , I found-“ she paused, pulling a bag up from the floor and placing it beside her on the bed, “I found these amazing chocolates, and _accidentally_ bought far too many for one person. But mostly,” she continued, taking Elsa’s hand in hers and giving it a squeeze, “yesterday, on the phone? You sounded like you could do with a friend.“

Elsa bit her lip, her gaze falling to the duvet, then rising to the ceiling. She didn’t want to cry again, Rapunzel could see it on her face, along with the dark bags under her eyes that screamed complete and utter exhaustion. But she wasn’t here to patch Elsa up enough to make it through another day or week; she had left her professional responsibilities at home, next to some sentient pizza.

Shuffling up the bed, Rapunzel took Elsa by the shoulders and pulled her into a hug. There was no resistance, no reaction at all; she didn’t even have the energy to turn her head. Rapunzel simply wrapped her arms around her friend, waiting for the inevitable moment when emotions would win out over tiredness. “Deep breaths. It’s alright. I’m here, okay?”

* * *

“But it’s Star Wars! It’s a _classic!_ ”

“Eh.”

“I’m- I’m sorry, did you just imply that Star Wars is mediocre?”

“And what if I did?”

“… then I’m not sure we’re right for each other.”

“What, it’s ‘love me, love my robots’?”

“ _Droids._ ”

“Fine _, droo-ooids_. Are you going to take a photo with the little blue bin or not?”

“R2-D2… is _not_ a bin.”

“That little remote control basketball is quite cute though-“

“It’s _name_ is BB-8 _._ ”

“And what’re those guys? What’re they called… sounds like furnitu- Borg?”

“That-… that isn’t even Star Wars.”

“… wait, don’t you want a photo with the RD-22? Hey!”

Anna and Kristoff watched as the man chased after his partner, before glancing at each other. Tugging on one of his Mickey Mouse ears, Kristoff cleared his throat, “Well… maybe _they_ weren’t the droids they were looking for.”

Anna stared straight ahead, blinked slowly, before turning to face him. “Did you just-”

“Oh, look! Vader!”

Kristoff spun on his heel and hastily made his escape, heading towards the growing crowd of tourists headed to the figure shrouded from head to toe in black. Anna rolled her eyes, but chuckled nonetheless, following in his wake.

* * *

“See, I told you. It’s stupid.”

After letting her take a short nap, Rapunzel had managed to coax Elsa out of bed and into the shower. Now they were talking on the sofa, bundled up in a couple of duvets, with large mugs of Gerda’s hot chocolate in front of them – Gerda had given up trying to get anything healthy into Elsa, settling for whatever she could get the girl to eat.

Rapunzel looked at Elsa with a look of disbelief. Stupid? _Seriously?_ “Elsa… _none_ of that is stupid.” She sank a little further into the thick duvet, frowning deeply. “It’s no wonder you’ve not been able to get any sleep, not with nightmares that… _anschaulich?_ Uh… clea- _vivid._ ”

Elsa shrugged, seemingly unconvinced. Rapunzel sipped her hot chocolate, looking at her thoughtfully, “Y’know… dreams are just your mind trying to sort out all that’s going on inside your head, trying to make sense of it all. And… it sort of makes sense.”

“What?”

“All the little details. Not being able to move, feeling lots of little straps- it sounds a lot like when you were in hospital.” She took a sip of her hot chocolate, taking a moment to savour the taste whilst pondering over her theory. “I mean… when you first woke up, you weren’t mobile. And… you had loads of wires and tubes and things, they might feel like straps.”

Elsa ran her fingers lightly over her cheek, remembering the bizarre sensation of _slightly_ warm liquid passing through a tube resting against her skin. She looked at Rapunzel with a look of mild realization, resting her fingers at the corner of her mouth, “The ventilator… on the plane, I-… I couldn’t breathe. My throat felt… blocked.”

Rapunzel nodded, her mouth full of chocolate, “Maybe the smoke was a way to interpret that. And… well, the pain in your leg is fairly obvious.” Elsa hummed quietly in response, taking a sip of her own drink. “How did your follow up go anyway? Did she reduce your dose?”

“By half. Kristen wants to get it as low as she can before I get my next prosthetic. She says my uhm… my epilepsy medicine also helps with the… with the wrong nerve pain…” Elsa paused, frowning in confusion at her own explanation, already half-lidded eyes closing even further. “… that started out a _lot_ smarter in my head.”

Rapunzel grinned, “Big medical words are for not-tired people.”

“Mhmm.”

* * *

“You know you said we should go on a tour of Paris?”

“Yeah?”

“But… you know how we’ve been walking _loads_ already?”

“Ooh, yes.” Kristoff looked up from his coffee, his feet throbbing - as if he _needed_ further confirmation.

Anna thrust a leaflet in front of him, almost knocking the cup of coffee into his chest. He glanced down at the leaflet, before looking up at her with a raised eyebrow. “You… want to go on a _cycling_ tour?”

“It’s only a few hours long. And because we’d be cycling, we’d get to see loads of little hidden gems,” Kristoff didn’t fail to notice the phrase “hidden gems” in bold on the leaflet, “and there’d be a huge park, and wildlife, and we’d get to eat lunch out at a vineyard, _please_ Kristoff?”

A couple of hours later, as they were both staring at a road sign through slightly hazy eyes, Kristoff was beginning to wish he hadn’t nodded in agreement of her idea. “I dunno.”

“What d’you mean, you _dunno_?” Anna replied, her hands coming up in unnecessary air quotes, “Is it that way, or _that_ way?”

“Anna, it’s in _French_. We are _so_ off the track… what if they arrest us for taking their bikes.” He gasped, smelling his breath, suddenly wishing he’d not finished off Anna’s second glass of wine on top of his own two.

Anna snorted, leaning over her handle bars to lightly smack him on the arm, “We didn’t take them, we just _lost_ them. With us.” She stared at the sign intently, even going so far as to glare at it, as if that might encourage the sign to come to life and point them in the right direction.

Meanwhile, Kristoff was holding his phone high up in the air, trying to find a signal. “It’s the year 2030, and _still_ there are dead spots. I get better signal in the middle of a mountain ra-“ He jumped at Anna’s squeal, scrambling to catch his phone before it hit the ground. “ _What?”_

Anna was grinning like an idiot, waving her hand out to a car relatively slowly making its way along the narrow country lane. She leaned the bike up against the pole, moving to the window when the car finally came to a stop. The occupants, a middle-aged couple peered at the young girl, then her companion, wondering whether to stick around and help or push the tiny car to its limits.

Anna didn’t give them an option. “Bonjour! Étaient perdus - pouvez-vous me dire comment revenir à la ville?”

The couple, having seen the couple’s bikes and satisfied they wouldn’t need to give them a lift, started explaining how to return to the city. Kristoff simply watched the trio’s discussion, or at least Anna’s side of it as she leaned over further to speak to the passenger on the far side, her top riding up her back and her shorts hitching up just a _little_ bit too high, revealing bare skin he’d happily lathered in sun lotion earlier than morning. He continued staring at Anna long after the car had pulled away. She turned back to face him, a triumphant grin on her face, which quickly turned into a frown, “What?”

“Nothing,” he squeaked, shaking his head quickly and shifting uncomfortably, “… I just really need a bathroom now.”

“There are bushes?”

Kristoff blushed ever so slightly - or was that just the alcohol? - before he re-tied the jumper around his waist. “… never mind. I’ll be fine.”

* * *

“So _this_ must be the fabled ice cream shop,” Rapunzel said in awe, peering in through the glass. Elsa was giving her a tour of the town, having tagged along with Gerda and Kai on a shopping trip. Rapunzel had been asking questions about the area, had probably heard loads from Anna, so Elsa thought it would be a good idea to show her around.

“One of Anna’s favourite places. Even in the middle of winter.”

“I’m beginning to think this winter is eternal. You do have summers here, don’t you? _Actual_ summer?” Rapunzel raised an eyebrow, glancing up ever so briefly at the clear sky, just as a cold gust of wind smacked her in the face. “You know, when the sun’s heat actually makes it down here.” She ducked her head back into her scarf, only her eyes visible between it and the trapper cap she was wearing.

Elsa on the other hand, had a scarf loosely wrapped around her, and only a t-shirt and thin hoody on underneath her jacket, her beanie rather slouchy atop her head. “It’s not _that_ cold. But,” she said with a small sigh and a shrug, “if you are _that_ cold then ice cream’s probably not a good idea-“

“Hey, I didn’t say _that_. I merely commented on your lack of seasons.” She already had her foot in the shop, grinning innocently back at her tour guide. “Besides, it’s never too cold for ice cream.”

Elsa rolled her eyes slightly before following her inside. _Just as bad as Anna._

Rapunzel had joined the small queue inside the shop already, eyes narrow as she tried to identify flavours on the menu hanging above the counter. Elsa deposited her jacket, beanie and scarf on a free table before joining her, grinning slightly at the attempted pronunciations. “Need me to translate?”

“Nein, nein, nein…” Rapunzel took a small step forward as the queue began to move, still mumbling to herself. Her mumbles became a little more frantic as another customer was served, her decision time quickly diminishing. “Is grape up there?”

Elsa pointed up to the board, her friend’s eyes following, “Drue. Anything else?” Thanks to the similarities of their languages and Elsa’s translation of the rest, Rapunzel was fairly happy with her choices by the time she got up to the counter. Or so she _thought_.

“Hei! Hva vil du ha?”

With each apparent syllable of the kindly woman’s lightning fast question, Rapunzel’s face fell. She turned to Elsa, her eyes pleading, causing the blonde to chuckle, before explaining to the server, “Beklager, hun ar ikke fra Norge.”

The woman nodded her understanding before turning back to Rapunzel, “What would you like?” Rather than let her lack of vocabulary win out, Rapunzel asked Elsa to order first, changing a few of the flavours as she parroted Elsa’s response. A few minutes later, as they returned to the table Elsa had secured, Rapunzel smiled sheepishly as she pushed Elsa’s bowl towards her, “Sorry about that.”

“What? You did fine,” she said around her spoonful of mint chocolate chip, letting the ice cream melt on her tongue.

Rapunzel shed her various layers of clothing before tucking into her own bowl, “Anna’s taught me some things, but it’s mostly hello, goodbye… help, there’s a moose.”

Elsa laughed, “All the _essential_ Norwegian phrases.” She grinned wistfully, scooping up some honey ice cream onto her spoon, “She’s a great teacher. She’ll have you ordering ice cream and pizza and other assorted junk food soon enough.”

“You both know a bit of German already, right?”

“Ein bisschen,” she said with a slight smirk, before taking a few moments to savour the next flavour. “We speak a lot of the same languages, but Anna…” she paused a moment, trying to think of the best way to explain it. “I learn a language to communicate. She learns a language to… _understand_.”

Rapunzel pondered her explanation, as Elsa prodded her ice cream for a moment longer, watching the melted colours intermingling. “She’s a lot smarter than she lets on.”

“You miss her.”

“I miss them both.” She sighed quietly, dropping her spoon back into the bowl. “I mean… I knew I would, but…”

 _She could do it. It would be a week. … and a couple days, but that was it. She could manage on her own for just over a week. Besides, she’d still have Kai and Gerda, she wouldn’t be_ completely _alone._

_They still hadn’t said anything. She tried not to bite her lip, lest they call her bluff. She’d be fine._

_“Elsa, this…”_

_“You were planning on going there at some point anyway, and you could both do with a holiday-“ she neglected to tag on “away from me”; this wasn’t about her, “-so I figure there’s no time like the present, right?”_

_“But-“_

_“Nope.” She shook her head at Kristoff’s objection. “No buts. No returns, no exchanges.” She really wished_ Anna _would say_ something _, she wasn’t sure how long she could maintain this confident façade. “My orders.” Dammit, she could’ve done_ without _the slight tremble in her voice then._

_“Your ‘orders’, huh?” Anna finally looked up from the pair of tickets, eyebrow raised._

_Elsa avoided her gaze, pursing her lips, “Well… ‘my polite request’ doesn’t really have the same sort of ring to it and-“_

_She stopped short with an_ oof! _as Anna closed the gap between them and threw her arms around her Elsa, wrapping her in a bone-crushing hug._

_“Thank you.”_

_Elsa’s schooled features finally relaxed into a smile, as she brought up a hand to pat Anna’s arm as best she could. Kristoff joined the hug, ruffling Elsa’s hair. “Thank you, Your Majesty,” he teased, holding up a hand in surrender at her half-hearted glare._

“You didn’t think you’d miss them this much.”

Elsa looked up at Rapunzel and gave her her best, “You got me,” shrug. “I… I thought I could manage a week. You know, I was… proving to myself I could manage a week on my own- _almost_ on my own.” She shoved a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth and slammed her right eye shut as brain freeze punished her for her haste.

Rapunzel waited patiently, smiling softly as Elsa chuckled self-deprecatingly, “I guess I was wrong.”

“But you _have_ done well, Elsa. No, really,” she continued as Elsa scoffed at her praise, “sure you’ve had a rough time of it, but… you’ve not shut yourself off. You reached out for help – you wouldn’t have done that a little while ago.”

“Thank you.” Elsa’s voice was quiet; she hadn’t looked up from her ice cream, and Rapunzel frowned, unsure of what she was thanking her for.

“For what?”

“For… for everything. For… for Canada, for… helping with the psychiatrist at the hospital, and… for talking to Anna, and talking to me and… and-“ Elsa was trying, _oh_ she was trying, but she could feel the omnipresent tears beginning to resurface. She grabbed a napkin from the dispenser, ramming the rough paper into her eyes to try and stop them and she would have succeeded… if she’d not made the foolish mistake of attempting to finish off her sentence. “… you came overseas to…”

Elsa trailed off again, her single sob masked by the scraping of a chair being pulled alongside. Rapunzel wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. “That’s what friends are for, honey… oh god, I didn’t mean to make you cry _more_.” She couldn’t help but chuckle at the unforeseen result of her sentimentality, and was happy to hear a small chuckle from Elsa too. “Now come on, don’t make me reorder your ice cream, I’m not sure the woman at the counter can cope with my broken Norwegian again.”

* * *

“What the…” Kristoff pulled out a small toy from a pile, turning it over in his hands. It was the lovechild of a cow and the Eiffel Tower, made all the worse by the fact the cow’s face – at the top of the weird black, white and pink cone-with-legs – had _eyelashes_. “… maybe not. Anna?” He put the plushie back, wandering around the shop until he found her in the food section, her arms full. “Do I need to go and find another case, or…”

“ _Macarons_ , Kristoff. Do you have any idea how much Gerda loves these things?” She carefully steered her pile the delicate biscuits into the basket Kristoff held out for her, “I’m thinking I just present her with a box once a month.”

He grinned back, looking down at her haul, “Didn’t we already get a box of these from the Champs-Élysees?”

“Yeah, but I’m going to keep those for her birthday. These are… y’know, every day macarons.”

“Right…” he drawled, feigning understanding. “Okay well, I found _the best_ present for Kai.”

“Oh?”

He put the basket on the floor in front of her, holding up a finger to indicate she should wait before he darted off into another corner of the shop. “Close your eyes,” he said upon his return, and after narrowing them at him in bemusement, Anna did so, waiting for all to be revealed.

“… open them.”

Anna burst out laughing the second she focused on him; Kristoff had struck an heroic pose in front of her, fists on hips, chest puffed out, a duck-faced pout on his lips… and a beret on his head.

“I was gonna get mustard, but I think this is just… _quintessential_ Kai.”

“’Quintessential’? Oookay, Kristoff,” she chuckled, pulling the beret off his head and watching his hair spring up in a dozen different directions, “Why don’t you go and find something for Elsa?”

“Ookoo,” he said through pouted lips, leaving only when Anna gave him a relenting kiss.

Smirking, Anna dropped the beret in the basket anyway, but decided a back-up gift would probably be a good idea. As she started searching, she felt a vibration in her pocket, and pulled out her phone, checking the notification. She frowned at the message preview and came to a stop, opening the chat.

> Punzie: _hey, give ur sister loads of hugs when u get home! she missed you xoxo_
> 
> Meg: _???_
> 
> Punzie: _no reason, hugs are always nice :)_

Anna frowned, and opened up Elsa’s chat, to see if there was anything new, but there was only her sister’s response to her last breakfast photo.

> Elsa: _Looks tasty! Quit texting me and enjoy your holiday already. xxx_

“What’s up?” Anna felt slight nudge of her arm, and looked over to see Kristoff. He positioned the French Bulldog plushie in his arms so he could move its head with his hand, and nudged her arm with its nose. She chuckled slightly, but still didn’t answer his questions, so he thrust his chin at the phone to indicate what he meant, “Everything alright?”

“Yeah. I think,” Anna glanced back at the message, before pocketing the phone. “Punzie texted me, look.” A couple of taps and she held up the phone so he could see the message, still mulling over what it might mean. If it meant anything. Kristoff read the message, held up a finger again before darting off.

Frowning at him, she looked back at her phone, flipping between the two messages to try and read between the lines. She sighed; her sister _sounded_ okay, and Rapunzel didn’t seem too concerned… should she worry? She glanced up when she heard Kristoff’s footsteps, and chuckled – he’d put back the smaller dog in favour of a gigantic squishy dog that he could barely see around. “You think Elsa will like this?”

* * *

Rapunzel cringed, holding up the small pad, “You… you didn’t need these, did you?” She chuckled with relief when Elsa shook her head, “Good. Sorry, I get a bit carried away. I’m glad I don’t have to write stuff up on paper at work, it would be a nightmare.”

Elsa chuckled, looking at a few of the doodles Rapunzel had already finished. Well… she couldn’t really call them doodles. Why Rapunzel wasn’t selling art for a living, she had no idea. But then she couldn’t imagine her locked away in an art studio 24/7 either.

Rapunzel suddenly turned on the sofa to face Kai, who was sat quietly, reading his newspaper, “Are you _sure_ you don’t mind giving me a lift? Honestly, I don’t mind getting a cab.”

Kai chuckled – she’d only asked this question half a dozen times already – “It’s fine, Rapunzel.” It was the least he could do considering the improvement he and Gerda had seen in Elsa. Plus, it meant Elsa would be getting out of the house again, even if it was to do some food shopping. He cast a quick glance at the clock, before lifting the paper back up to read.

“So how long is the flight?” Gerda passed her a mug of hot chocolate, something Rapunzel was going to miss.

“Uhm… five hours or so? I think I’ll spend longer in airports than I will in the air.” She chuckled, taking a sip. Truth be told, she didn’t want to leave so early, but had been denied the extra few days she had asked her boss for. Instead, she would miss meeting her friend by a matter of hours, and Elsa would be on her own for another night.

She turned to Elsa, who was staring at her hot chocolate far too intently for Rapunzel’s liking. “You know, if you ever want to come and visit me, my door’s always open.” She could probably get away with “You owe _me_ a visit now,” with Anna, but not with Elsa. “Just… give me a day’s warning so I can get Eugene to clean up the house before I kick him out of it.”

She sipped her chocolate, accepting Elsa’s minute nod, until there was a quiet cough and a shared glance between Elsa and Gerda. “Sorry, uh… thanks. I’ll bear it in mind.”

After a small hum of approval at Elsa’s response, Gerda filled the ensuing silence, talking to Rapunzel about her home, her job… small talk. Elsa chipped in occasionally, but was clearly pre-occupied, and she remained that way right up until Rapunzel took her by the shoulders at the departure gate at the airport, and told her to look at her.

“I will call you as soon as I touchdown, okay?” Elsa’s gaze dipped briefly as she nodded and Rapunzel continued when it rose again, “You’ll be fine. Anna’s back tomorrow, enjoy the quiet while it lasts.” Elsa gave her a wan smile, so Rapunzel kept on. “Because you know as soon as she sees you, she’ll start talking about how amazing it all was, and all the places she’s been, just how big the Eiffel Tower is, everything she ate and drank and- wait, _can_ she drink over there?”

“Yeah… I found that out _after_ I’d bought the tickets.” She scrunched up her nose, “Kristoff said he’d keep her away from wine tasting.”

“Either way, they’ll have way too many stories to tell.” Rapunzel grinned, and got a small nod and a lopsided smile in response. She pulled Elsa into a loose hug, rubbing her back, “You can always get her to call me if you need to save your ears.”

Elsa nodded, before pulling back, her gaze dropped to the floor. “… thank you. For coming. I…” she trailed off, failing to come up with a way to get across just how much she appreciated it, but Rapunzel just smiled warmly, rubbing her arm.

“Any time.”

* * *

“Fiestypants, slow down!” A roller case in one hand, a backpack on his back and another bag slung over his shoulder, Kristoff was playing pack mule as they made their way along the platform, through the masses of tourists who kept stopping in _the middle of the platform for no reason!,_ and business types checking watches and staring at departure boards. Anna jogged back to him, pulling the bag off his shoulder and taking the roller case, giving him the chance to adjust the bag on his bag.

“Sorry! I’m just-“ she didn’t bother finishing the sentence, just grinned harder and zipped off again, wending her way through the crowds and to the barriers, occasionally apologising for running over people’s feet with her case. Kristoff just shook his head with a small chuckle and followed as quickly as he could.

The exit barrier in sight, Anna picked up her pace even further, whilst beginning to rummage through her pockets for her ticket. She let out a growl of frustration when she realised that _Kristoff_ still had the tickets, and spun around to find him in the approaching rabble. She saw his mop of hair near the middle of the pack, and waited impatiently for him to make his way over. He already had the tickets out, and passed one to Anna as soon as he was close enough, smiling apologetically at her scowl. He took the bags back from her, waving her through, “Go on. I’ve got these.”

Scowl evaporated, Anna kissed him on the cheek briefly before turning back to the barriers, and almost into the back of a businessman on his phone. After a quick apology, Anna took a miniscule step back to give him room to get through the barriers, before shoving her own ticket in the machine. She bounced on the balls of her feet as she waited for the gate to open, before she _finally_ exited the platform. Immediately, she came across a new problem – the hundreds of people that had also made their way into the open area.

She stood still, rocking up onto tiptoes to try and gain a little height. There was still half a train’s worth of passengers filing through the barriers behind her, but eventually, a familiar hand came into view, pointing her in the right direction. “Over there,” Kristoff said, his extra height giving him the advantage Anna’s tippy-toes couldn’t. Watching closely, Anna still couldn’t find what she was looking, but trusted in his direction and began wandering. As the crowd finally began to thin, she finally found and made eye contact with the person she was looking for, and couldn’t help but grin.

As she made her way over, her grin turned into a gawk and her jog into a run, as she watched Elsa stand up and start _running_ towards Anna – or at least she tried. A few strides and Elsa was forced to slow right down to a hobble, but Anna easily made up the remainder of the distance, “Elsa!”

Elsa grabbed her sister by the upper arms, looking at her as though she’d seen a ghost, before pulling her into a hug so tight it knocked the wind from Anna’s lungs. Before she had the chance to return the hug, Elsa had pulled back, looking her over, “How are you? Y- you’re not hurt or anything, are you? Are you okay-“

“Woah, hey, hey, hey,” Anna smiled warmly, taking Elsa’s face in her hands and lifting her gaze to meet hers, “I’m okay. I’m okay,” she repeated, pulling her sister into another crushing hug, resting a hand on top of her head as Elsa buried herself into Anna’s shoulder, “Sshh, I’m here, I’m home now.”

For the first time in weeks, Elsa could hear herself think over the sound of her own heartbeat. Tucked away in the crook of Anna’s neck, the scent of strawberries and cream filling her lungs, Anna’s soothing voice echoing in her ears… she felt home. After a few minutes of reassurance, warming back rubs and contented sighs, a heavier weight came to a gentle rest across her shoulders.

“If you girls don’t break it up, people are going to think I’m a third wheel.”

Elsa and Anna both chuckled, each throwing out an arm to pull Kristoff into the hug. He ruffled Elsa’s hair, eliciting a muffled “Hey!”. He pulled back after a while, causing the group hug to break up, though Anna didn’t dare let her arm drop from Elsa’s waist. “It’s good to see you too, Els’.”

Elsa looked down sheepishly, an embarrassed flush blooming on her cheeks. “Sorry. I just… I missed you both.”

“We missed you too, Elsa,” Anna said with a grin, pulling her sister in for a one-armed hug, whilst still holding Kristoff’s hand. “I mean… there were times we were glad you weren’t around… I mean, you would’ve been glad too, probably, unless you had your own room, in which case it wouldn’t have really mattered I guess…“

Elsa watched Anna’s rambling, unsure how to take the added comment. It slowly dawned on her what she was going on about, as she saw Anna’s smirk, followed her gaze to Kristoff and caught his slightly embarrassed, but also somewhat smug expression.

Elsa pulled back from the group hug, trying to maintain a deadpan expression, but only managing one of horror. “ _Too much information!_ ”

Kristoff held out Elsa’s crutches, rescued from the bench she’d been waiting on, “Here. Take them. _Flee_.”

* * *

Anna landed face down on her bed with a _fmmp_ , sighing happily into her pillow before turning to face Elsa, “I missed my bed. I mean, the hotel bed was _super_ comfy but… I missed my bed.” Elsa chuckled, sitting down on her bed with slightly- okay, a lot more grace than she had, and Anna rolled to her side to see her better. In doing so, she noticed a small bundle of sticky notes on her bedside table; pushing up onto her elbow, she pulled the pile onto the bed, spreading them across the duvet.

“Wow, Elsa, I didn’t know you’d been practicing,” she sat up properly, grinning at the small art collection, “these are awesome!”

Elsa frowned, peering over to see what she was looking at, “No, no, that was Rapunzel.”

“Rapunzel?” Anna’s eye snapped up, “She was here?”

Elsa nodded, taking one of the drawings and smiling at the goofy expression on the moose she’d drawn, “For a few days. She left yesterday.”

Anna groaned, rolling her eyes, “Of course the _one_ time I’m away she decides to vi- wait, she didn’t _say_ anything about visiting… were you two scheming behind my back?” She narrowed her eyes at Elsa, who looked back sheepishly.

“No, she… I…” Elsa sighed, fiddling with the corner of the sticky note, “I called her one night. I-in the middle of the night.” She glanced up at Anna, whose expression was more curious than anything. She wasn’t going to be able to leave it at that. Elsa sighed, rubbing at her temple, “It’s stupid. I… I was having nightmares and I didn’t want to bother _you_ , but I knew Rapunzel would be awake, so I… I called her.”

Anna slipped off her bed and sat next to Elsa, “Nightmares? Like you had before?”

“Yes… and no. I-it’s stupid, don’t worry about it.” She tried to wave away Anna’s concerns, shaking her head. Anna was having none of it, and caught her hand mid dismissal.

“Elsa… what happened?”

It was stupid. It was just a stupid, pathetic nightmare. None of it was real, Anna was perfectly safe, she was _right there_. _She was right there-_

“Woah, hey…” Anna gave Elsa’s hand a squeeze, rubbed her arm- anything to get her to release her death grip. “Elsa, it’s okay, we… you don’t have to talk about it with me if you… if you don’t want t-“

“You were there,” Elsa blurted out suddenly, taking Anna by surprise. Blue eyes met green, flicked away, met again… “On… on the plane, I- I couldn’t save you. I… couldn’t get to you.”

“Oh Elsa…”

“And… mama and papa were there- they were talking, but I couldn’t hear them and,” she shut her eyes, trying to maintain control, while still explaining to Anna what had happened, “Rapunzel said it was all probably just my brain trying to process all the stuff that happened in hospital, and that… that you not being here was a trigger for it all but…” She exhaled shakily, taking deep breaths to try and calm herself down again.

“I’m back now.” Anna soothed, smiling at Elsa when she finally opened her eyes again.

“I know.” There was a moment of quiet between them as Elsa focused on their linked hands, willing her heart rate to drop again. “… remind me never to order you on holiday again.”

Her wry smile was reflected tenfold in her sister’s massive grin. “Yes, your _majesty_.”

“Shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations
> 
> Men jeg så det- flyulykket, hun- = And I saw it- the plane crash, she-  
> müll - rubbish  
> Hei! Hva vil du ha? = Hi! What will you have?  
> Beklager, hun ar ikke fra Norge = Sorry, she is not from Norway.  
> Ein bisschen = a bit (Google Translate)  
> Bonjour! Étaient perdus - pouvez-vous me dire comment revenir à la ville? = Hello! We’re lost - can you please tell me how to get back to the city? (GT again)
> 
> Notes
> 
> Jeg snakker ALLE SPRÅKENE.
> 
> … lol, I really don’t send halp. 
> 
> I really feel I should try to explain: up until this point, I have written (mostly) everything in English. Although Elsa, Anna and Kristoff are all fluent in English, after returning from Canada they would’ve been speaking Norwegian by default. But that would make for horrible writing and near impossible reading, so I’ve written it all up in English.
> 
> (In hindsight, I’m probably going to edit a few of the earlier chapters to account for their bilingualism; they would’ve been in a primarily English speaking environment probably, and unless they were completely alone they would have spoken English because we English are lazy AF and therefore it’s become a sort of default language and oh god I just realised if it’s Canada, there’d be French-speaking people there and why the hell did I decide to be all realistic and sh*t.)
> 
> However, now other characters are appearing, such as Rapunzel (German), I’m trying to keep this in mind. You’ve got all these people talking in English but there’s gonna be slip ups and miscommunication and other stuff, e.g. Elsa getting upset and ending up rambling in Norsk because emotions but meanwhile being able to HEAR English and process it because it’s easier to understand another language than to speak it or write in it because science.
> 
> Whatever, none of that made sense even to me therefore I would like to apologise to all speakers of any language ever created from this point on, specifically German and Norsk. And English. Heh.
> 
> Also I learned that macroons are actually called macarons and I thought that was just a horrendous mistake made in an episode of Pokémon and omg STARGATE HAD THE SA- I can’t even.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with. <3


	31. Almost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays, everybody! <3

“Ready?”

“… no.”

“Excited?”

“Not  _really_ the word I would use-“

“Oh come  _on,_  Elsa,” Anna pulled the strap of the sports bag over her head, freeing up a hand to pull Elsa along, “this is  _me_  you’re talking to- I can  _see_  the excitement on your face.” Elsa simply raised an eyebrow at her, swatting her hand away playfully when Anna poked her in the cheek, using her dimple as proof. Elsa merely shook her head, following Anna into what had once been a second home.

Elsa was surprised at just how little the place had changed. Pictures of the town, past and present, littered the walls and high angled ceiling alongside framed signed jerseys and other sports memorabilia. The wooden panels that maintained the appearance of a traditionally built log cabin throughout looked like they’d been recently re-treated – at least it smelled like it. The small display of merchandise inside the reception desk had been updated to match the weather outside, and the last few items of winter stock had been neatly arranged in a basket on the desk with a small sign beside them – “Big Summer Blowout!”

Anna waited a few moments for Elsa to take everything in, before ushering her towards their destination. Chuckling at the chorus of “Hoo hoo!” that erupted from the front desk, Anna waved at the few staff members before taking Elsa’s hand once again, tugging her along, “C’mon, we’re late enough already!”

The pair moved quickly, dodging a small group on their way to the sauna, walking past the large public gym and into a smaller room at the end of the corridor. It was just as well equipped as the public gym, but only two people were there, and they weren’t on a machine or admiring themselves in the mirror. Anna grunted slightly as she pushed open the heavy door, causing the occupants to look over with a grin.

“Elsa, Anna,” Henning was the first to reach them, and initially held a hand out for them to shake, but pulled them both into a hug instead, before pulling back and looking them both over, “It’s been  _far_  too long. How are you?”

“Fine, thanks,” said Elsa, as Anna dropped her bag on a nearby chair, “It’s good to see you again, Coach.”

“Henning, please, Elsa.” He stepped back slightly, keeping her at arm’s length, while he took in the sight of her. “I knew you’d be on your feet soon enough. I’m just sorry I’ve not been around to help you more- we all are.”

Elsa shook her head, trying to ignore his scrutinising gaze, “It’s fine, you’ve all been busy-“

“No, we- we should have taken time out to come and see you. I assumed the team were keeping in contact- I think  _everyone_  assumed someone else was keeping in touch with you.” Henning sighed, looking at both girls now Anna had finished fiddling, “I’m truly sorry we’ve not been around.”

Elsa bit her lip, pausing a moment before accepting his apology as diplomatically as possible. Henning continued, reminding them that if there was anything they needed, the team would be there for them – the girls shared a sideward glance – before turning the floor over to the other person in the room. Anna noticed the slight slump of her sister’s shoulders when Henning left, but wasn’t given the time to pry.

“Good afternoon, ladies.”

Elsa grinned, “Hey Sven.” One by one they gave him a hug, with Anna stopping briefly to wiggle one of the foam antlers on his beanie.

“Oops, forgot I was wearing this,” he said, pulling the hat off and shaking out his hair. “So, now we’ve got the speeches out of the way… it’s good to see you! And without crutches, well done.” When Elsa pointed out she still kept them to hand, Sven waved the comment away. “But you’re not  _relying_  on them now, are you?”

“Well, no-“

“Well, I consider that a win. … so does Anna, judging by the smug grin on her face.”

Anna confirmed his theory with a not-so-sneaky high five, causing Elsa to roll her eyes. Anna chuckled, “See, I told you he’d agree with me.”

Sven grinned at the sisterly death glare, steering them over to a small bench, “Now, now, let’s not gang up on your sister,” he nudged Elsa with his elbow, “You’re going to need your energy today.”

“Uh oh.”

“Relax,” he chuckled, rolling an exercise ball over to use as a seat, “It won’t be that bad, trust me.”

“ _Uuh_  ooh.”

Elsa gave him an innocent look as he swatted her knee gently before leaning forward, hands clasped together. “So. How’s everything been? It’s been… what, two months since Mork?”

“Almost three,” supplied Anna, with child-like satisfaction.

“And you’ve had your prosthetic for…”

“Uh… a month and a half, maybe?”

“Confident?”

Elsa let out a small “Aah…”, her nose scrunching up. “… ish? Getting there.” She’d been off her crutches almost entirely for a few weeks already, but wasn’t at the stage she would happily leave them at home. She’d openly called it a safety net to both Anna and Rapunzel’s surprise, and neither sister nor friend were going to push her to stop using them – better to have her keep them close at hand than refuse to leave the house.

“And on average, how long are you on your leg?”

“Uhm… about 7am to… 9pm?”

Sven looked at Anna pointedly, “And she says she’s only confident- _ish_.” He turned back to Elsa with a grin and a clap on the shoulder, “Sounds like you’re doing great to me. How’s everything else? Your medications, your seizures… getting better?”

“I still feel like if you picked me up I’d rattle, bu- no, don’t  _try_!” She squealed, causing Anna to double over in a fit of laughter. Sven pulled his hands back, wiping the cheeky grin off his face for more of a stoic expression, which didn’t help either girl. “They uhm… the hospital overhauled all my medications a little while ago, which seems to be helping,” Elsa couldn’t help but notice Anna shifting slightly beside her, so hastily continued, “and I stopped taking so many painkillers, so I’m a little more awake nowadays.”

Sven chuckled at her sheepish grin. “Excellent! Well,” he said, clapping his hands on his knees, “you might feel a bit sore and tired after today, but I’m sure you can handle it.”

“… uh oh.”

“So… what are you doing here, anyway?” Anna piped up. “I mean… it’s great to see you and all, but Henning didn’t mention you in his email. He said some guy called Per was going to help out.”

“Per’s a friend of mine, we did our training together. We were out for a drink, he was all excited that he was going to work here, and when he mentioned someone that sounded like it might be Elsa, I pulled a few strings.”

Both girls stared at him in shock. Anna was the first to say something, “You got them to let you work here instead of him?”

“What? No! No, he’s next door with one of the team as we speak, I just got them to let me work with you. You know, continuation of therapy.” Sven grinned, the pair sighing with relief that Sven didn’t have an evil side. That they knew of. “Gets me out of the hospital for an afternoon out of the week, I’m all for it.”

“You’re not at the rehab centre anymore?”

“No, me and a few other guys and girls, we rotate so we’re not stuck in the middle of nowhere for too long in one go.” He chuckled, “Don’t get me wrong, I  _love_  the outdoors, but it’s nice to spend more than a weekend in town at a time.” He rocked back on the ball, before narrowing his eyes curiously at Elsa.

“Why are  _you_  here?”

The remnants of Elsa’s smile dropped away, and she looked sheepishly into her lap. Sven tilted his head, watching her, but both he and Anna remained quiet. Eventually she spoke up, right before Anna moved to gently nudge her in the arm.

“There’s a… a camp. A training camp… in a few months’ time. I… I’d like to go but…” she raised her head to Sven, but didn’t meet his eyes, “I can’t go like this. I’d… I’d be useless, I wouldn’t be able to do anything.”

“Well, then,” Sven began, grinning at her. “Let’s get you from confident-ish to kicking snowflake butt, shall we?”

When Elsa finally took a deep breath, looked Sven in the eyes and nodded, Anna slung an arm around her shoulders and squeezed tightly, before taking her leave. She knew they wouldn’t be doing any  _work_  for a while yet, just catching up on Elsa’s progress over the past few months, and Anna had been there for that. Instead, she wandered through to the adjoining gym, shuddering as the overheard AC blasted down the back of her t-shirt. There was a clattering of weights to the side, before she was lifted up into the air by a slightly sweaty young man, “Anna! Hey!”

She didn’t need to see him, to know whose arms were holding her up, “Mikkel! Mikkel, you can put me down now!”

He did so with a chuckle, batting her in the nose with her own braid, “You came back! I  _knew_  you would.” He lifted an arm to pull her in for a proper hug, holding his hand up in defeat at Anna’s scrunched up nose, “Alright, alright, hugs  _after_ showers.”

“Anna?”

A cautious voice came from a short distance away and she turned to see Anders, red faced from exercise, t-shirt half drenched in sweat, chest heaving, treadmill abandoned. As he got closer his eyes grew wider, and he looked at Anna as if he’d seen a ghost, “Anna, what…” He fumbled over his words for a bit, before settling on, “… it’s good to see you.”

Anna smiled warmly at him, reaching out to place a hand on his arm, “It’s good to see you too, Anders.” And she meant it. Out of everyone, Anders was the sole person Anna – and she presumed Elsa, too – would never bear any ill will towards. He had been guilt-ridden over Elsa’s accident, trying to keep in contact to begin with but distancing himself after a short while, and from the looks of things, taking it out on exercise equipment. “How have you been?”

“Uhm… not bad. Keeping busy here, with school…”

“You went back to school?”

“Yeah, I uh… decided my gap year had gone on a few too many years,” he said with a small chuckle, “so I’m studying civil engineering now.”

Anna’s eyebrows shot up; she’d expected sports science, or even film studies, but… “Civil engineering?”

“Yeah, I uh…” he shrugged, attending to an itch on his arm, “it seemed interesting. It  _is_  interesting. You know… something to fall back on if I ever give this up.” He gestured to the gym, before shoving his hands in the pockets of his shorts.

“Right.” Anna considered him carefully, not missing the look of false contentment on Anders’ face, and the resignation on Mikkel’s. With an internal sigh, she took a step closer and pulled him into a hug. “Well… good luck, Anders. I’ll be looking for buildings with your name on ‘em.” Anna pulled back with a grin, poking him in the chest, before scrunching her nose up and inspecting her finger.

Anders began to apologise for his appearance, before Mikkel chimed in, “Hey, at least she hugged you. I got nothing.”

“Shush you,” she berated, smacking him lightly on the arm, before turning her attention back to Anders, “Listen… Elsa’s here too. I’m sure she’d be happy to see you.”

The small smile that had graced Anders’ face fell, and he shifted between the balls of his feet. “I… maybe later. I don’t want to disturb her. Besides…” he trailed off, pulling his t-shirt from his skin with a shrug.

“Yeah… maybe shower first. She doesn’t have anything against dirt,  _but_ …” Anna chuckled. With a final rub of his arm, Anders excused himself, heading out of the room, not towards the showers, but towards an outside training area. Anna sighed, glancing towards Mikkel. “I’ve seen that look before. It’s the look of someone who’s given up.”

“He… he wants to quit. We’ve tried to talk him out of it, and I mean… if he  _really_ wanted to quit, then why would he still be here, right?” Mikkel ran a hand through his hair, and shrugged, “Henning asked him to come to the training camp, and _then_  decide.”

“Well… maybe he’ll change his mind.” She turned to face him, taking him by the upper arms, and looking at him with a deadly serious expression. “But whatever he decides, just be there for him. Don’t aban-“ Anna cut herself off, shutting her mouth with a small sigh and patting his arms. “Just be there.”

Mikkel narrowed his eyes at her, cocking his head, “… something happened you’re not telling me about.”

She let her hands drop and gave him a wan smile. “Just trust me when I say be there for him. No matter what.”

Mikkel caught the momentary glance towards the door, but couldn’t  _quite_  put the pieces together. With a small sigh, he nodded, dropping the subject. “Listen, I uhm… I know I’ve said it before, but… I’m sorry no one kept in contact with you. And if that made things worse for you both, I…”

“Don’t, Mikkel,” Anna interjected with a chuckle, playing with one of her braids, “I’m not sure I can handle much more guilt today.”

“What about hugs?” Anna glanced up to see a few familiar people led by Kirsten, who immediately put her arms around Anna. “So, you finally decided to burn off all that pizza, huh?”

Anna chuckled, hugging back. “Nice to see you too, Kirsten.”

* * *

“Okay, time for a break.”

“… wait, what?”

Sven stood up from his crouched position by the mat, and wandered back over to the bench. “Time for a break. No more exercises.”

Elsa frowned in confusion, “But… we’ve not been at it that long.”

“That was your second seizure in the past half an hour. It’s  _time for a break_.” He held out a water bottle for her, waggling it a little in the air when she didn’t take it.

Sighing in frustration, Elsa took the bottle from him, twisting off the cap. Or at least she  _tried_  to twist the cap off. Her grip faltering, the cap didn’t budge, and after her fourth failed attempt, she threw the bottle across the room.

Without missing a beat, Sven crossed the room and picked up the projectile, loosening the cap on his way back to Elsa. He held the bottle out again, waiting patiently for her to take it. “I’m afraid I left the wine list in my car.”

Avoiding his gaze, Elsa took the proffered bottle, allowing it to drop into her lap as she fiddled with the loose plastic seal around the neck.

“Elsa, I  _know_  it’s frustrating-“

“No, you  _don’t!_ ”

“Elsa,” he continued, crouching down in front of her and rescuing the bottle from her restless hands, “You were in a coma for over a week. You’ve been in and out of hospitals since then. You’ve been through a lot and your body needs to recover; the little things will take  _time_.”

“I-it’s ridiculous!” Elsa stammered, throwing her hands up in the air, “I can’t open bottles, my handwriting looks like a child’s…”

“Hey, I’ve seen doctor’s handwriting  _far_  worse than yours.”

“It’s just… it’s…”

“… frustrating?”

“… yeah.”

Sven smiled knowingly, but didn’t comment. “Trust me. The little things will come eventually. First strength, then stamina,  _then_  fiddling with bottle caps and buttons and who knows what else. Alright?” He picked up the bottle from the floor once more, handing it back to her. “Don’t give up.”

Elsa looked down at the bottle, fiddling with the plastic seal for a moment before carefully twisting off the cap. Sven gave her a quirky grin as she took a sip, before standing up. “I’ll be back in a few minutes, then we’ll start again.”

She nodded, swilling the water around in her mouth, watching Sven leave from her seat on the floor. A few seconds after he’d left she heard the creaking of another door, and looked up to see someone new at the threshold. “… Anders?”

“I uhm… I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” He hovered, unsure of himself, half in, half out of the room.

Elsa shook her head, capping the bottle and putting it aside, “No… no, we’re taking a break.” She pushed herself up onto her knees, then carefully to standing, before Anders could reach her to help. “Thanks, I’m fine.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled, pulling back his hands and shoving them deep into his pockets. They stood together in awkward silence, Elsa watching Anders, and Anders watching absolutely anything else.

A deep breath broke the silence. Anders voice was low and full of sincerity, but his gaze didn’t quite meet Elsa’s. “I’m sorry.”

“Anders-“

“No, I… please.”

Elsa fell silent with a small nod, as Anders began pacing slowly. “I’m… I’m sorry about everything. It’s my fault all this stuff happened to you-“

“Okay,  _stop_.” Elsa grabbed his arm, spinning him around to face her, “This is  _not_ your fault. Unless you moonlight in Canada as a… a living snowman, throwing unsuspecting people around.” She smiled warmly at him, noticing with a hint of sadness that he still couldn’t bring himself to look at her. “It was an  _accident_. That’s it.”

She loosened her grip on his arm, allowing Anders to regain his footing but losing her own in the process. Grimacing, she limped to the nearby bench, this time accepting Anders’ steadying arm around her waist. With a small sigh of relief, she rubbed at her knee, unintentionally drawing Anders’ attention.

“… does it hurt?” He cringed instantly. “Dumb question.”

Elsa shook her head slightly, “It’s been getting better. Plays up sometimes, but… s’just one of those things.” She sighed heavily, giving up on the knee rubbing and just putting up with the throbbing pain.

“But…” he hesitated slightly – he didn’t want to focus on the topic, but his concern was winning out – “all the physio and stuff is helping?” Elsa chuckled – Anders hadn’t expected that, and he almost looked her in the eye.  _Almost._  “No?”

“Uhm… the “stuff” bit is helping, painkillers and so on. The physio…” Elsa narrowed her eyes, inhaling through gritted teeth, “… let’s just say the “stuff” comes in very handy after a session with Sven.” She was already looking forward to a soak in the tub when she got home; it had been far too long since she’d undertaken any proper physical training and even longer since she’d felt so  _unfit_. “But it’s all helping me get back to normal, I guess. Or close to it at least. Can’t complain.”

“And…  _are_  you getting back to normal? Or… close to it?” A weak smile flashed across his face briefly, but it was nothing like the cheeky grins she’d come to associate with him.

“… I hope so?” She frowned, unsure of her own answer, “I mean…  _normal_  is different now, for me and Anna. I’d like to get back to doing the stuff I used to, that’s why I’m here, but I know that I won’t be able to do that right away- if I can at _all_.“

“You’ve always been able to do whatever you set your mind to. It’s one of the things I’ve always admir-“ He trailed off, rubbing his hands against his knees, “… admired about you.” Elsa shifted by the smallest of margins and Anders immediately apologised, “I’m so sorry- I didn’t mean to make this awkward-“

“No, Anders, it’s okay-“

The pair jumped at the jarring vibration of a door being flung open into the wall, and as Elsa began to ask Sven for a few more minutes, she was crushed in a hug from behind, knocking the wind – and her request – from her lungs. She heard her sister’s voice amidst the chaos, asking her assailant to “let her breathe, geez!”, before Mikkel’s head popped over her shoulder and into view.

“Elsa!” He sat down on the bench next to her, facing the opposite way, arms held out invitingly. Elsa looked at him with a bemused grin, one eyebrow raised.  _Of course it’s him._

“Hi Mikkel,” she said, accepting his invitation and hugging him tightly. She looked up when she felt another pair of arms, and another, saying hi to their owners. Peering through bodies, she noticed a couple of people she didn’t know, presumably curious, newer members of the team, as well as Anna and Sven. She did notice one person’s absence however; after being released from the hug and casting a quick glance around, Elsa caught sight of Anders’ back as he slipped out the door.

She sighed, watching it close behind him. A light tap atop her head pulled her attention back to the group surrounding her; some were sat on the bench, on various exercise balls or on the floor, in a scene reminiscent of her first day back in Norway several months prior.

“Earth to Elsa,” Mikkel said into a cupped hand, his grin still visible, “come in Elsa.”

Elsa chuckled once, “Sorry, Mikkel. How’re you?”

The young man looked at her in disbelief, dramatically sputtering, “How am I? How am  _I_? Pfft- how are  _you_?”

“Yeah, it’s been like,  _forever_  since we last saw you,” said Ben, sprawled out and taking up a large portion of the floor.

“I know, right?” Elsa smirked, “Long enough for you to grow some facial hair.” Instead of protesting, Ben proudly stroked the sparse hairs lining his otherwise baby-faced appearance, extending the laughter of the gathered group.

“How long has it been though?” Kristen asked over the remaining chuckles, “A couple months, right?”

“Four,” came the reply from Anna, who was stood behind the group, arms folded, “Four months.” The silence that came over the group made her realise just how biting her tone had been, and she slowly unfolded her arms. “… almost.”

Elsa tried to kickstart the conversation again, “But I’ll be here for physio, so… I’m sure we’ll see each other a little more often.”

The awkwardness continued for a few more moments, until Mikkel finally chipped in, “Maybe we can go out after training? If you’re up to it, obviously.”

There was a millisecond’s hesitation from the sisters, and before Elsa had a chance to response, he continued. “How about next week? You  _are_  here next week, right?”

Elsa smiled and nodded, “Yeah. We’re here next week.”

“Perhaps,” Sven piped up, striding forward towards the group, “you can arrange this later? After I’ve finished torturing-  _I mean_ , working with my client?”

There were some quiet chuckles and nods of agreement, followed by a few moments of chatter as the groups said their goodbyes, before Sven and the sisters were alone in the room once more. Sven broke the silence that followed with a squeak, as he sat down on his exercise ball-seat. “You girls alright?”

“Yeah,” said Anna with a small sigh. “Was it just me, or was that a little… awkward?” She waited a beat, before, “Elsa?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. A little…” Elsa trailed off, frowning, obviously distracted. “Sven, I’ll uh… I’ll be right back.” She gave them both a quick smile, waving off their concern, before heading out the room towards the main corridor, bypassing the main gym to get to the changing rooms- the mens’ changing room.

She rapped her knuckles on the door, pushing it ajar and calling out. She cast a slightly sheepish look at a guy who passed her to head in, taking a cheeky look inside, only to be greeted by a wall blocking her view into the changing room.  _Duh, if the womens’ changing room has one…_

She called into the room once more, daring to poke her head through the door, given that she couldn’t see anything. After getting no response, she backed out, heading towards the reception desk at the main entrance. “Hey, has uh… has Anders come past here?”

The two girls at the desk looked at her blankly, before looking at each other. “Uuh…”

“Anders. Snowboarder. About yea high, floppy blond hair, brown eyes…” Realising that probably wouldn’t narrow it down any she reached for her phone, patting herself down before realising she’d left it in her bag. Thankfully, there was a spark of recognition on one of the receptionist’s faces.

“Oh yeah! He walked out a little while ago, sorry.”

Elsa patted the desk with a sigh, before returning the polite smile, “Thanks.” Casting a glance outside to the small car park, she couldn’t see any movement outside at all, and slowly made her way back to the small gym.

“Everything okay?” Sven asked as she reappeared. Anna said nothing, just sat on the bench watching her sister with a small smirk.

Elsa frowned at her, which only made Anna’s smirk grow. “Yeah,” she drawled, ignoring Anna for now, “sorry. Where did we get to?”

* * *

“I had no idea… I was this unfit,” Anna huffed, shifting the bag over her shoulder once more as they made their way up the slight hill to the tram stop. The gym was a few stops away from the town centre, from which they could walk home.  _Or maybe get a cab,_  she thought, picturing the steep hill towards home. Elsa hummed in… agreement, maybe? She clearly wasn’t paying attention to her sister, who turned around to walk backwards in front of her. Time to test her theory. “So, did you manage to catch up with Anders?”

“No, he’d left al…  _hey_ , don’t look at me like that.” Elsa scowled at the re-emergence of Anna’s self-satisfied smirk, and continued walking up the hill, overtaking her sister.

“Like what? Oh, come on, Els’,” she groaned, trying to catch up with her, “I was just curious! I had no idea there was still a thing between you two-“

Elsa came to a dead stop, turning to face her sister. “There is  _nothing_  between us, Anna,” she snapped. “There never was, and there isn’t now.”

Anna hadn’t heard that  _particular_  tone from her sister in a long while, and was rather taken aback. Dropping her gaze to the floor and taking one of her errant braids in her fingers, she mumbled an apology, continuing up the hill.

“No, Anna,”Elsa ran a hand through her hair, reaching for her hand before she got too far away, “ _I’m_  sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

Anna’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, but she took a step closer to her sister, swinging their hands a little, “You did talk with him though?” Elsa nodded, frowning deeply. Anna waited, and shook her hand again when she didn’t elaborate. “And?”

“It… it was just so…  _awkward_.” She finally looked up at Anna, eyes filled with a mix of disappointment and sadness.

Anna tugged her a little further up the hill to sit on a garden wall, partly not to block the street, and mostly to relieve the strain on her shoulder. “Awkward how?” Elsa and Anders had always seemed fairly comfortable around each other, spending plenty of time together during competitions, training-  _after_ competitions and training. Anna remembered watching them together years ago –  back when she and Kristoff were barely friends – and childishly wondering if someone might look at her that same way one day. Despite the gossip and bets amongst teammates on how it would turn out, neither of them made a move for months –  _years,_ even. It was only after a few too many drinks that Elsa dropped her guard enough to let Anders get close enough to do  _anything_ … that was until he bottled it and they acted as though it never happened. “Was he giving you… That Look?”

Elsa had coined the term during one of their very firsts visits into town, as Kristoff had wheeled Elsa out of a café, Anna thanking the owner profusely, but _“we_ really _have to go now, thank you for the free coff- no, no, we really don’t need any more cake…”_

_“Wow,” Kristoff let out the breath he’d been holding, before continuing to push Elsa away from the café and the overbearing staff, “That was… wow.”_

_“Okay, the free coffee’s nice and all, but if I hear another “I’m sorry about x, y and z,” again, I might lose it.” Anna finally caught up with them, carrying a bag of cakes that the owner simply refused to let her leave without. She hung them over one of the arms of the wheelchair, and looked up at Kristoff, “And it’s always the same platitudes, the same sad tone- or was that just me? Els’, did you notice too? … Elsa?”_

_Anna put a hand on Kristoff’s arm to bring him to a stop, before wandering to crouch in front of her sister, “Hey… you okay?”_

_“It’s that look again…” Elsa’s voice was almost too quiet to hear above the bustle of the street, and Anna leaned in a little closer, taking her fiddling hands._

_“What look?”_

_“_ That _look. Just… pity and… if they say sorry, somehow it’ll make things better… bring people back…” Elsa looked up, intending to look at her sister but instead meeting the lingering gaze of a passer-by, who immediately plastered on a fake smile and hurried away. She shrank a little bit in the chair, keeping her gaze low, and Anna quickly decided that one free coffee was enough._

Elsa sighed, closing her eyes briefly, “Yeah. He just… he didn’t focus on anything else. He kept looking at me like I was about to break. Just…  _hovering_ , and… I know he probably feels guilty, but…” Elsa’s voice quietened once more, and the confusion and irritation she had felt at the time immediately faded away, “… he couldn’t even look at me.” And she couldn’t blame him for it, in the same way she couldn’t blame him for the accident. None of it was his fault.

 _Of_ course _things are different between you know. Look at yourself- you_ are  _broken. Damaged goods._

No. She wasn’t broken. She was just injured. She was getting better.

_But you’ll never be back to normal. You’ll never be the person you were before. The person he wanted to be with._

“ _Elsa._ ” Anna’s voice finally broke through, and the snapping of fingers in front of her face forced her to pay attention. “Hey. You okay?”

“I’m fi-” she sighed, catching the lie before it left her lips, “I’m just tired.” Well, it wasn’t a  _lie_. Elsa glanced at her sister, then towards the tram stop, “And there’s still half the hill to go.”

“ _Urgh_ ,” Anna groaned, throwing her head back dramatically. “Come on, let’s get going, before we both fall asleep on this person’s lawn-“

“Hey!” A car came to a stop alongside them, and Mikkel’s grinning face came into view. “I got room for two more?”

Both girls let out a sigh of relief, pushing themselves heavily from the wall. “Oh my god, I love you Mikkel.”

He chuckled, winding the window up as they squeezed into the back seat, “I’ll be sure not to let Kristoff know.” Peering at the pair in his rear-view mirror, he waited until everyone was… relatively comfortable before driving off. “I can’t quite remember the route to your place, you’ll have to give me directions.”

“Oh, we uh… we’re not at the same place anymore anyway,” said Anna, trying not to get stuck in the face with a crutch whilst also trying not to end up in Ben’s lap. She saw Mikkel’s wince in the mirror and waved it off, “We didn’t exactly advertise the move. But it’s still the same area, up in the hills.”

“Oh, cool. I’ll get rid of you first then,” Mikkel joked, elbowing the guy in the front seat. He had at least three kit bags at his feet, and two more in his lap, but still had more room than the four in the back seat.

“Shotgun!”

“Ben, my ear is like,  _right_   _here,_ ” came the voice of the fifth passenger.

“Oops… sorry, Sonja.”

Mikkel looked at the teen in the mirror, “Dude, we’re barely out of the car park, you can’t call shotgun when the seat’s still taken. Besides,” he flicked to the road, and then to Elsa, who was looking absently out of the window, “you’re a bean pole, it might be better for someone  _else_  to move up front.”

“I guess,” Ben glanced between the trio of girls on the back seat, before tapping Anna on the knee. “You wanna sit up front?”

Anna looked at him with her best horrified expression, “Are… are you calling me fat?” She only managed to hold her expression for the briefest of moments, until Ben’s spluttered apologies were drowned out by giggles. Elsa simply rolled her eyes at Mikkel in the mirror, letting the children bicker amongst each other, and the ribbing continued the rest of the way to the first drop off.

As the group bid their farewells to Niall, Mikkel turned in the driver’s seat, surveying the group with a discerning gaze. “Hmm… yeah, I think I’ll leave the kids in the back. Els’, come on.” She continued looking out the window, so Mikkel wiggled her knee with a chuckle, “C’mon, Elsa, time t- …Elsa?”

Anna’s face fell when she realised what was happening, and she immediately sat up, putting a hand to his shoulder, “Why don’t we let Sonja up front, she’s next ou-  _Mikkel…!_ ” He was already out of the car, making his way to Elsa’s door, and Anna’s protestations weren’t enough to stop him from opening the door and grabbing her sister by the shoulders. “Mikkel,  _stop_ , she’s okay-“

“How is  _this_  okay? Elsa, come on. Come on…” Mikkel was panicking now, as was Ben and Sonja, who were now watching in horror at the unresponsive woman in the back of their teammate’s car.

Anna did everything she could to reassure Mikkel that Elsa was okay, pleading with him to calm down, but it was only when Elsa yelped in shock at the sight of a burly man holding her tightly that he stopped. There was a moment of complete silence; Elsa stared at Mikkel, Mikkel stared at Elsa, Anna stared at Mikkel and Ben and Sonja stared at each other in confusion. The silence was finally broken by a groan as Elsa realised what had happened, and buried her face in her hands in embarrassment.

Anna removed Mikkel’s remaining hand from her sister, laying her own arm around her shoulders. “I’ll explain. Later.” Mikkel looked at her in total confusion, but now he knew Elsa was… awake? Conscious? He had no idea, but Anna’s expectant look and nod towards the driver’s seat clearly indicated he wasn’t going to find out with the current audience.

Before closing the door, he asked Sonja to jump in the front seat, giving the trio in the back more room, and allowing Mikkel to close the door without it hitting Elsa. Once everyone was buckled up, Mikkel began making his way to Sonja’s house in almost complete silence, the radio the only thing making the situation slightly less uncomfortable.

Mikkel gave Sonja a pointed look as they pulled up outside her apartment block, putting a finger up to his lips as an indication she should keep quiet about what happened. She gave an uneasy nod before saying her goodbyes, though Mikkel and Ben were the only ones to respond. Once she had entered the block, Mikkel began making motions to pull away.

“Wait.”

He stopped at the quiet voice, glancing up in the mirror, and catching Elsa’s gaze, before she looked towards Anna. There was a bit of mumbling and some nodding, before Anna cleared her throat. “Can you turn the radio down a sec?”

Mikkel paused, before turning the engine off completely and turning as best he could in the seat. He looked at the trio; Ben was keeping to himself, staying quiet and as out of the way as he could, and probably wondering if they even remembered he was in the car. Elsa was also quiet, refusing to look up from the car floor to meet Mikkel’s concerned gaze. Anna still had an arm around her shoulders, her thumb moving in soothing circles.

Having taken a moment to prepare herself, Anna began explaining what the pair had seen as plainly as possible. Both seemed  _somewhat_  satisfied at her explanation, glad to know that Elsa was okay, but Mikkel was still visibly concerned. He’d never seen Elsa like this, and he wasn’t even thinking about the whole seizure thing. Not back in the hospital, not even after a competition loss- this was a completely different Elsa to the one he’d known for so many years. He had assumed that she’d back to her old self eventually, back to training, maybe even competitions, but now?

He wasn’t so sure.

He also realised that Anna’s explanation had finished a long while ago, and she was clearly waiting for some sort of reaction, or questions or… something. “I… thanks for explaining, I’m uh… I’m sorry I panicked, I just… I didn’t know.” He looked sheepishly at the pair, wondering what he should say or do next. “Is… is there anything I can do to help? Or…”

“Thanks, Mikkel,” Elsa finally piped up, meeting his gaze for a split second, before looking away in embarrassment, “but there’s nothing anyone can do.”

“Well… if there’s anything you need… lifts back home from the gym or whatever… I’m your guy.” He smiled, wanting to be of  _some_  use.

“Me too,” Ben chimed in, “Not that I can drive, but… I get student discount on pizza?”

Anna chuckled, grateful for the small smile that appeared on Elsa’s face, “We might take you up on that sometime. I miss student discounts… anyway. We should probably be getting home, we’ve already taken up  _way_  too much of your time-“

“Don’t worry about it. Ben, just roll as you hit the ground, ‘kay?”

“Got it!”


End file.
